Stay Alive

Stay Alive is a 2006 movie where a video game based on the Countess Elizabeth Bathory comes to life and starts killing its players in the same manner in which they died in the game. Directed by William Brent Bell and written by William Brent Bell and Matthew Peterman.

Phineas

Sweet Sebastian Bach, I wanna play!

[about Abigail] Girl has got body karate going on!

Can we skip this bullshit cinematic foreplay? I want to fuuuuccckkkk!

(To Miller) Okay, Where's the torture chamber cause I want some ass.

I don't know what it is, man! I'm scared, I'm freaking out, man! There's something out here!.. (on the phone) Is that Abby? Wassup Mama?

I beta-tested for a while. It sucked. It's kinda like eating a beav. It's awesome at first, then it's just goddamn monotonous.

October

If you had any less sense, you'd be half a penny.

(really upset) Somebody ran my brother down in a horse-drawn carriage. I'm gonna find whoever did it, and hurt them.

(Last line/final words, to the Countess) Go fuck yourself.

You know, Phin? The problem with your mouth is that stupid, insensitive shit comes out of it.

Whoever said size doesn't matter never played a third-person shooter. Can I have a 42-inch this time? You know I like the big ones...

My brother was all I had. That kid meant everything to me. And now he's gone.

Swink

(after tapping the controller, avoiding the carriage in the game) Hell yeah.
Bitch, that's cheating! I'm not even dead yet!
(to Hutch and Abigail) Go on, get out of here. I've got these punk-ass bitch motherfuckers handled.

Miller

You know what they say? You play the game too long, you start seeing shit and having seizures.
(after snorting cocaine) Ooh, fuck, that burns!

Abigail

I hate telling people the truth and watching them get embarassed for that

Prayer of Elizabeth

Come to me, clouds. May you rise as an evil storm born to rip them open. Let the cover of night bear witness and destroy those who resist so they shall harm me not. Let the blood of many cleanse me, preserving beauty eternal, I pray you.

Dialogue

Phin: Who talks like that to their brother like that anyway?

October: Somebody with an idiot for a brother.

Phin: Oh my god, you're a terrible person.

[Phin licks Swink's controller and hands it to him]

Swink: Bro!

Phin: Let's do it. [Swink groans] Put your hands on it.

Swink: That's disgusting.

Phin: Touch it.

Miller: [Elizabeth Bathory attacks his character] Goddamn it, man! [Elizabeth Bathory stabs Miller's character] Man, she got me.

October: Oh, one of the little girls?

Miller: Some-some-some...woman, man. I think it was the dame from the painting. You know, that, that...countess. You know, I-I-I-I didn't even get a chance to fight her, man.

Phineus: Okay, well, where's the torture chamber? 'Cause I want some ass.

Miller: I don't know. I mean, I went through a secret entrance, you know.

Hutch: Hey, you gonna try to get back in the game?

Miller: [sighs] Well-- [a shadow of Elizabeth Bathory walks past] Hey, is somebody out there? [doesn't see anybody]

Hutch: [through headset] Miller, who you talkin' to, man?

Miller: Don't know. Probably some Goddamn rent-a-cop tryin' to scare the shit out of the livin'. You know what they say. You know, you play the game too long, you know, you start seeing shit, you know, or have seizures. [chuckles]

Swink: Games could cause seizures. Now, perceptive of reality, on the other hand, has yielded some very interesting, you know, studies.

Phineus: Yeah, I'm sure you've read them all.

Swink: I have. You know, it seems the longer you play, the more your subconscious mind perceives the game world to be a reality. You know, it's really interesting, but it's only a theory, of course. But then, there's, you know, retinal memory, which, you know--

October: [interrupting; politely] That is so fascinating, sweetie, but I'm kind of feeling like we should call it a night.

Hutch: [agreeing with October] Yeah, some of us have got to be at work.

Swink: But I just figured out how to strip one of those zombie concubines naked.

Phin: That is what I'm talking about. How do you do it?

Swink: Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A(, Start).

Phineus: [enters the code] Boobs.

October: [she and Hutch laugh in amused shock and disgust] Come on, you guys. Hutch is right. We'll pick it back up to date.

Hutch: All right. Miller, you can, uh, rejoin us then.

Miller: Yeah. Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, and I'll, uh, check my schedule.

Hutch: Thanks again for hanging with you guys. I really needed it.

Phineus: [sighs; salutes] To Loomis.

Hutch, October, Abigail and Swink: [simultaneously] To Loomis.

Miller: To Loomis.

Swink: [Phineus smacks Swink's arm] Don't touch me, A-hole!

Phineus: "A-hole", Dude?

Swink: Profanity is for the feeble-minded.

Phineus: Well, I'm "effing" sorry I offended you... fuck-ass. You ready for a good night, bro?

Swink: I can't stay too late, I gotta double back to see a Naughty Network glitch for the theta pledges, Quite the naughty dilemma.

Phineus: Well, you can also take the skirt off and join us playing this virgin game, would you?

Swink: Virgin?

Phineus: Yes.

Swink: Shoot, I-I really shouldn't.

(Phineus points at him, trying to make Swink change his mind)

Swink: Okay, I'll figure something out.

Phineus: The game's fun. But it kinda moves along at a snail's pace.

[they then IMMEDIATELY cut to the gang shooting down hundreds of zombies]

Phineus: Move. Move. On the left. Left. LEFT! LEFT!! Goddammit, you noob!

October: Whoever said size doesn't matter never played a third-person shooter. Can I have a 42-incher? You know I like the big ones.

Hutch: Per usual, that is too much information. Oh, shit! Oh, man.

Phin: (to October) You're a whore.

Video Game Voice: When fear cripples you, when death's dark shadow surrounds you, drop a rose. It will help you... stay alive.

Swink: We should drop one when we meet up with a boss we can't face.

October: Yeah, the undead can't cross the twig of a wild rose.

Phineus: That is what happens when you read too much goth chick lit.

Swink: Can Hutch come out and play?

Hutch: Swink! You scared the crap out of me!

Swink: (unfazed) Why yes. I would love to come inside. Thank you for asking.

Phineus: Miller, man, you in those tunnels again? All the doors are locked.

Miller: Well, now they're open and I'm exploring, tearin' shit up... ownin' fools.

October: Ownin' fools?

Phineus: If this genuinely is from Loomis, it must in fact be barely legal.

Hutch: (trying, about the game) Okay, we got this from Loomis. It's called Stay Alive. We don't know much about it except we're not supposed to have it.