Teyla: You are a scientist, Rodney, that is what you care about, that is what you will hang on to the longest.
McKay: Right, right, so... [pause] Wait a minute, doesn't that make me a really bad person?
Teyla: It makes you the type of person who is going to save all our lives.
[Everyone in Atlantis has lost their memory, apart from Teyla and Ronon. Ronon tells Lorne to take out a polaroid from his vest pocket, upon which is written "Colonel John Sheppard. He is your commanding officer. Trust him!"]
Sheppard: That's right, I'm your Commanding officer, so you should do what I say.
[the Apollo and Daedalus have arrived at Atlantis]
McKay: Both ships at the same time. This is a first.
Carter: Well, it's the first time we've needed them.
[Sheppherd and Rodney both give her a pointed look]
Carter:[embarrassed] Well, since I've been here...
Col. Caldwell: Colonel.
Col. Ellis: Colonel.
[They turn to Carter]
Col. Caldwell: Colonel.
Col. Carter: Colonels.
[They turn to Sheppard]
Col. Ellis: Colonel.
Lt. Col. Sheppard: Colonels.
Dr. McKay: [grimacing] Seriously?
McKay: Look, you don't know me. This is when I'm at my best. This is when I shine: impossible deadlines! Did I ever tell you about the time I once got a damaged Ancient hyperdrive system online moments before me and my crew were incinerated by a supervolcano?
Todd:[sighing and rolling eyes] Yes. You have.
McKay: Ellis is gonna love this. I don't get it. We tried reconfiguring your stand-down code; we tried programming the nanites to turn themselves off. Something should've worked.
Todd:: They are a very complex and ingenious design.
McKay: Yeah, well, I thought I was ingeniouser.
[Todd looks at Rodney and starts to say something, but is cut off]
McKay: Yes, I know it's not a word, Mr. Helpful.
McKay: I mean, it'll take them some time to adapt, to figure out how to function within the new parameters.
Carter: How much time?
McKay: Well, I mean, I hate to speculate.
Sheppard: Oh? Since when?
Zelenka: I must say, Rodney, this is quite an ingenious idea.
McKay:[smug] Were you expecting anything less?
McKay: Well what?
Zelenka: Well, you have been in a bit of a rut lately.
McKay:[indignant] I have not!
Zelenka: OK, well, like a dry spot, maybe.
McKay: That is not true.
McKay: It is not!
Zelenka: I'm all yours. What would you like to try now?
McKay: Actually, unencumbered by the continual need to explain things to you, I've actually made remarkable progress.
Zelenka: Oh, really?
McKay: Mmm. [they start walking into the lab] The systems the Ancients had in place were designed to create fully functional humanoid replicants, right?
Zelenka:[suddenly pensive] ...yes.
McKay: Well, turns out that trying to create something much simpler is – ironically – much more difficult. In the end I was forced to compromise.
Zelenka: Wait, you're not suggesting that...
McKay: Ah, I know it wasn't part of the plan but it was either this or nothing.
[Arriving at the Ancient table, Rodney gestures to...]
FRAN:[smiling warmly at Radek] Hello.
Zelenka:[somewhere between shock, horror, and awe] ...oh, my.
[McKay is describing his plan of eliminating the Replicators]
Dr. McKay: [casually] Whole planet will be destroyed in the process.
Larrin: You don't mess around, do you?
[aboard the Daedalus approaching the Replicator homeworld]
FRAN: This is quite exciting.
McKay: It's a bit nerve-wracking, yeah.
FRAN: I quite look forward to it.
McKay: ...you do?
FRAN: Yes. One always wishes to achieve one's purpose.
McKay: Right. And you're...okay with this?
FRAN: Of course. Why would I not be? It's my reason for being.
McKay: Well, you know, you're going to...cease to be.
McKay: Well, I just...I just imagined you'd rather keep being than, uh ... uh, than not.
[Zelenka, in the background, edges away looking uncomfortable]
FRAN: Surely you're not worried for me, Doctor?
McKay: Worried? No, of course not. That would be silly.
FRAN: Yes. It would.
[McKay nods and steps away, whispering to Zelenka]
Teyla: I knew you would doubt me. I should not have said anything.
Dr. McKay: Hey, I've been cocooned inside an alien spacecraft; I've had another person living inside me; I've encountered not one, but two different versions of myself, so who am I to judge? If you say it was a vision, then I believe it was a vision.
[jump cut to McKay and Sheppard walking to the control room]
Dr. McKay: I seriously doubt it was a vision.
Teyla: I purchased the pendant from an artisan in Croya, the village we are about to visit. Among the Athosians, it's quite common to present such gifts as expressions of admiration and respect.
Ronon: [to McKay] Hey. Maybe I'll pick you something up while we're there.
Dr. McKay: Really?
[On M2S-181, Teyla and Lorne's team walk through the market.]
Maj. Lorne: [nostalgically] Kind of reminds me of the flea markets they used to have back home. Every Sunday, stroll down to the Bay area, find pretty much anything you wanted. [He looks at a few of the more "shady" stalls.] And a lot of things you didn't.
[Teyla and Lorne are interrogating a trader who has been selling Athosian jewelry. He is bound in a chair in a dark room but it still refusing to talk.]
Maj. Lorne: [doing the bad-cop routine] I don't give a damn about your trade secrets. We wanna know where you got this stuff.
Trader: And if I don't tell you, what are you gonna do? I recognise those uniforms; I've heard the stories. People from Atlantis – do-gooders of the galaxy. You wouldn't hurt me.
Teyla: [steps out of the shadows of the room] I am wearing no uniform.
Trader: [noticing her obvious pregnancy] A pregnant woman! How intimidating!
[Teyla takes a branch, presses it to the man's chest, and shoves him and his chair over. He lands with a thud.]
Teyla: I will inform the villagers that you are a Wraith-worshipper and let them determine their own justice.
Todd: [after Sheppard's team points weapons at two Wraith guards moving a Wraith corpse] Ah, don't mind them. They're just here to help with the clean-up.
Todd: Obviously there is more you want from me, or you would not have come.
Ronon: Maybe we just came to kill ya.
Todd: [unafraid] Did you?
Sheppard: Unfortunately, no.
Todd: Well, there's always next time.
Dr. McKay: One of our people – Teyla – was taken by a Dart today.
Todd: [flippantly] I suppose she's already made some lucky Wraith a very tasty meal.
[John, Rodney and Ronon step into a doorway, aiming their weapons ... and stop and stare in total disbelief at what they see. A man is sitting on a bunk inside the room, dressed in a grey prison outfit. He sighs in relief at the sight of them.]
Dr. Beckett: Finally. It’s about bloody time. [standing up] What took you so long?
Todd: [after Sheppard has refused to help him] You always say that- but you always come around.
Dr. Beckett: Aye, you're damned right it is! First you tell me I'm not the only Carson Beckett, and then you tell me the other one died in a horrible explosion! [suddenly coming to a realization] Oh my God! My mother! You didn't tell her, did you?
Dr. McKay: Well...yeah.
Dr. Beckett: Good Lord!
Dr. Beckett: [after Sheppard assists him in putting on his pack] Thank you. I must be a wee bit rusty.
Lt. Col. Sheppard: You're not rusty, Doc. You were just never very good at this.
Dr. Beckett: Fair enough!
Beckett, McKay and Keller are in the infirmary and Keller had just told Beckett that he's a clone and needs to take a weekly injection to keep his internal organs from shutting down, one they don't have in Atlantis.
Dr. Beckett: My Lord. No wonder I've felt like a dog's breakfast ever since I got here.
(Note: This is probably a hint at David Hewlett's movie, A Dog's Breakfast, in which Paul McGillion participated)
Dr. McKay: [before freezing Beckett in stasis] You know, I was toying with the idea of programming dreams into these things. Interested? I could have you fishing in the Highlands...with a couple of tall blonde massage therapists?
Sheppard: You're telling me I just traveled forty eight thousand years into the future in ten seconds?
McKay: I know – it is kind of cool when you think about it, isn't it?
Sheppard: Surfing a thirty foot wave in Waimea is cool. Dating a supermodel is cool. This is not cool!
Lt. Col. Sheppard: The city has solar-powered generators, right?
Dr. McKay: Yes, which would come in very handy if we were trying to power a couple of electric golf carts.
Todd: [explaining his plan to destroy Michael's facility] I was going to write an elaborate program designed to slowly create a fatal error in the primary capacitor, but I doubt there'll be time for that now.
Dr. McKay: [voiceover] I was down in the Infirmary, having suffered a, uh, well, pretty serious injury.
Dr. Keller: [in the past, talking to Rodney on a bed in the infirmary] It's a splinter.
Dr. McKay: Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.
Dr. McKay: Look, um, I know you've already been debriefed about the future events – all the things we were hoping to avoid – but there's just one more thing I need to know.
Lt. Col. Sheppard: What?
Dr. McKay: Did I still have hair?
Lt. Col. Sheppard: [pausing] No.
(Sheppard has returned to Atlantis to find the city abandoned and powerless, and that the ocean has been replaced by sand dunes as far as the eye can see).
Lt. Col. Sheppard: (as he desperately waves his hands over control panels trying to activate anything) Okay, this is either the most elaborate pratical joke of all time, or I'm in serious trouble here.