Sly 2: Band of Thieves

Sly 2: Band of Thieves (also simply known as Sly 2) is a 2004 video game for PlayStation 2 created by Sucker Punch. It's a sequel to the first game, The Thievius Raccoonus.

Dialogue

A Shadow from the Past: Cairo Museum Break-In

Bentley: Breaker Alpha Foxtrot, this is the Wizard. Do you read me, Sitting Duck?

Sly: This is Peking Duck. I hear you, Blizzard.

Bentley: No Sly, I'm "The Wizard" and you're "Sitting Duck".

Sly: I read you loud and clear, Lizard.

Bentley: No, I'm... Forget it, you're not taking this seriously.

Sly: Yeah, I'm not. Look, I know this is your first time out in the field but you've got to loosen up. If we're going to get to those Clockwerk parts I need you on your toes, so in plain talk, what's your status?

Bentley: Well, I've established myself in the basement, and I'm pretty sure I can rewire the service elevator if you can power it up from that security station.

Sly: Hang tough pal. It might take some time, but I'll figure out a way to get up there.

Bentley: Presto, all clear.

Sly: Thanks, pal. For your first time out, you did pretty well.

Bentley: Oh, this operation is far from complete. Now that the lasers and (the) spotlights are offline, Murray should be moving into position for your rendezvous. I'll stay here and provide computer support while you go on ahead.

Murray: Thunder Flop! [through the balcony ceiling] Greetings, citizen. I hope you weren't harmed by my meteoropic entrance.

Sly: No, Murray, I kept at a safe distance.

Murray the Brawn: Good, good... the Thunder Flop knows neither friend nor foe, only destruction.

Sly: Yeah, could you maybe channel some of that "raw energy" into this security gate?

Murray: Of course. It is nothing before "The Murray". [grunts as he lifts the gate] Okay, all clear. [exits out to the balcony] Another barrier stands before you... fear not, I shall bend it like the truth. [picks up a nearby bust and throws it at a nearby building's gate, breaking it]

Sly: Solid work, Murray. You're really in the zone.

Murray: My hulking frame is too much for that puny rope. You go ahead and unlock the doors from the inside. I'll be waiting in the hallway to help you carry out the Clockwerk parts.

Bentley: I don't get it, Sly. The Clockwerk parts should be here. This is all wrong! We need to pull the plug on this operation right now!

[Carmelita and a bengal tiger burst out of the sarcophagi]

Carmelita: Freeze, Cooper!

Sly: Inspector Fox, as beautiful and unpredictable as ever.

Carmelita: Whereas you crooks are so predictable. You always return to the scene of the crime.

Sly: Crime? I haven't stolen anything... yet.

Carmelita: Oh, really. Then who broke in last night and made off with all the Clockwerk parts? You've got the motive.

Sly: Someone already stole the parts!?

Carmelita: Don't play dumb with me.

Bengal tiger: It might not have been him, Carmelita. The method of entry and guard casualties all point to this being a Klaww Gang job.

Sly: The Klaww Gang?

Carmelita: Constable Neyla, I allowed you to sit in on this stakeout as a favor to the Contessa.... I really don't need any help.

Constable Neyla: Oh, I think you might. Look at the facts.

Carmelita: Facts!? Sly Cooper is right here! I caught him red-handed.

[Sly begins to sneak away.]

Neyla: I'm just saying that there are criminals in the world other than–

Carmelita: [notices Sly] Sly Cooper! After him! [chases Sly]

Sly: [narrating] Carmelita's just as angry as ever. She's really quite lovely when she's angry. That Constable Neyla… Was her reference to the Klaww Gang just a slip of the tongue, or an intentional clue? Either way, it's our only lead to the missing Clockwerk parts. Clockwerk, he was consumed with jealousy for the Cooper clan's thieving reputation. Is it inappropriate to refer to him as a monster? (Well, here's the answer.) No, not at all. What kind of person lives for hundreds of years with the sole intention of wiping out a rival's family line? Imagine the hatred feeding that first decision to replace his mortal body with soulless machinery. Ultimately, it did the trick. Clockwerk lived on. He caught up with my parents, and I wound up in an orphanage. It was there I met my pals: Bentley, the brains of our outfit and Murray, the brawn. They were all the family I needed. 2 years ago, I thought I finished it. How naive to think I could easily put an end to that kind of hatred? And now, he's back. In pieces, sure, but the threat is real. Does the Klaww Gang even realize what they've stolen? I don't know what's in my future, but I won't let it be a repeat of my past.

The Black Chateau

Sly: [narrating] I had to call in a few favors to get the goods on the Klaww Gang's local operator - Dimitri, a sort of underworld celebrity equally at home in high-class art circles and shady back-alley crimes. He was once a passionate young art student who worked hard to develop his own visionary style. Unfortunately, the art world wasn't quite ready for his "Kinetic Aesthetic"… so he gave them what they wanted and started forging old masterpieces, his way of punishing those with bad taste. Dimitri now runs a nightclub on the westside. The thumping music, colorful light shows and a hint of danger lure in chic young patrons from far and wide, and it's here, hidden somewhere, where we'll find the Clockwerk tail feathers. What Dimitri plans to do with the Clockwerk part is beyond me, but those plans end tonight.

Sly: I tell ya, Bentley, it's going to be a real pleasure robbing this nightclub.

Bentley: I share in your enthusiasm, but before we hit the inside, we'll need to do a little reconnaissance work.

Sly: What'd ya have in mind?

Bentley: I've installed this special antenna on the safe house to help with our first job: hacking into Dimitri's satellite array. The coordinates for the job start beacon have been uploaded to your binocucom. Make your way to this position, and I'll give you a full briefing on our objective.

Sly: I'm on my way.

Bentley: Sly, I need you to hack into Dimitri's communication array so that we'll have access to his database.

Sly: How am I supposed to do that?

Bentley: To start, you'll need to get to the top of that tower. Then reposition the satellite dish to point at my safehouse antenna. If you want to climb on stuff, jump and hit the Circle button to grab hold. Try climbing up that pipe.

Sly: Right. Jump and hit the Circle button to climb pipes. I'm on it.

Bentley: Nice work, Sly. I'm downloading from Dimitri's mainframe as we speak!

Sly: All in a night's work. So, where do we go from here?

Bentley: Your next job is to break into the nightclub and take some reconnaissance photos of the Clockwerk tail feathers. To get inside, you'll have to sneak in through an old wine cellar beneath town.

Sly: Okay, I'll head out for the cellar.

Murray: Good to see ya, little buddy. I guess the way through the wine cellar is guarded by those rats. Bentley thought you might like some help clearing'em out.

Sly: Sounds like fun. You and me, back to back...

Murray: Totally! Outnumbered, fighting impossible odds... it's perfect!

Sly: Alright, pal, let's get to it!

[after Sly and Murray defeat the guards]

Murray: Hold on, Sly! Let me lower those bars for ya. [lifts the lever controlling the bars] There ya go. To get over this thing, you'll have to double jump. Hit the X button to jump, then while in the air, press it again to get some extra air time. Looks like you're on your own from here.

Sly: Ah, I'm used to it. Thanks for the help.

Murray: Anytime, partner.

Bentley: The recon photos are grim reminder of what the modern thief is up against: spotlights, stepped-up patrols, the sum of it all renders a direct assault impossible. To solve this puzzle, I'm going to need some more intelligence. First, replace this bugged painting with one Dimitri has in his office. Once in place, we should be able to listen in on his communications. Second, if you see the boss, tail him. We might learn something from studying his movements. Once we got a proper understanding of the operation, those Clockwerk tail feathers are good as ours.

Neyla: Hold it, Cooper!

Sly: Constable Neyla, another policewoman hot on my tail.

Neyla: Please, I led you here.

Sly: So that Klaww Gang slip was a clue. Why are you helping me out?

Neyla: I'm not as black and white as Carmelita. I know what a menace those Clockwerk parts are, and I don't want the likes of the Klaww Gang putting them to use.

Sly: So… what, it takes a thief to catch a thief?

Neyla: Something like that, but if I'm going to trust you in this case, I need to know that you can keep up... literally.

Sly: "Literally"?:

Neyla: Don't fall behind.

Bentley: Sly, hold down: the R1 button to run. You'll need it to keep up with Constable Neyla!

Neyla: Well done, Sly, we should work well together.

Sly: Glad you approve.

Neyla: Now, legally I can't enter Dimitri's nightclub without a warrant... but I happened to have obtained a key to his backdoor... which a person like yourself can use however he pleases.

Sly: Oh, we are absolutely going to work well together.

Bentley: Sly, I managed to outfit this forged painting with a bug. I need you to sneak into Dimitri's office and swap it with the original.

Sly: Nice! So, we'll be able to listen in on his conversations.

Bentley: Yes, I thought things might go more smoothly with an ear on the inside. Just be careful with the fine art. Take any damage and painting's ruined.

Bentley: The schematic indicates that door is locked from the inside.

Sly: That's alright; I never was one for the direct approach.

Bentley: Swell, because the indirect approach... is way up there through that air vent.

Dimitri: [over intercom] Dimitri coming at you loud and clear. I've got to high-five give it up to my main men working the disco. Spice sales are up, up, up! Keep on moving that spice, a'ight? And to every homeslice down in the special fake money making room: the nicest of jobs there, man, I tell you. Keep full-steaming ahead with my new Clockwerk printing plates, all of us retire early. You picking up on what I'm throwing down? Peace out!

Bentley: Okay, Sly, there's the power boxes which route to the printing press area. To take care of them, I'll need you to put a splice clip in those spotlights.

Sly: Sorry, Bentley, but those fans are spinning way to fast to walk on.

Bentley: They can be slowed down from this control panel, but you'll have to do a lot of pickpocketing to get at it. (Just be careful.) The guards are carrying special fragile keys that will be destroyed if you attack. Make sure you pickpocket their keys before you take those thugs out. (Otherwise, this job will be a bust.)

Bentley: I just intercepted an email from Dimitri. He's ordered his guards to ring the boat's bell when the coast is clear.

Sly: Coast is clear for what?

Bentley: Of that I'm uncertain. Ring the bell and follow him without being seen, then maybe then maybe we'll find out what he's hiding.

Bentley: Murray, I need you make your way back to the aqua pump room and sabotage it.

Murray: Geez, I don't know. How am I supposed to get past these lasers?

Bentley: You should be able to break that power box by throwing something at it. Press the Circle button to use your stomp move near the ice machine to pick up a block of ice. Then press the Square button to throw the block at the power box.

Murray: Hit the Circle button to pick stuff up, and the Square button to throw. Got it.

Sly: Hey, Bentley. How are you holding up out there in the field?

Bentley: Fine, fine... I'm just fine. I just need to bomb all the pillars supporting that disco ball and I can get out of here.

Sly: What's with taking out the disco ball?

Bentley: Its impact will pop the front peacock's sign off of its moorings... Look, I can't talk now, I've got to keep moving, keep safe!

Bentley: Okay, fellas, the dominoes are all in place. Time to pull off the big heist. First, Murray will help me break into the old water tower. From there, I should be able to shut down the plaza fountain. Dimitri's sure to send someone out to get the repair truck. Sly, you'll pickpocket the truck keys off this guy once he shows up, then hand them off to me and Murray in the plaza. We'll go steal the truck while you climb to the top of the nightclub's peacock sign. When you're in position, Murray will fire the truck's winch line up to you and we'll use it to pull down the sign. If my calculations are correct, the impact should create an entrance to the printing press room. Then, Sly, you jump in, grab the Clockwerk tail feathers, and we all get the heck out of here!

Dimitri: Gah! So... Raccoonus Doodus, you're like totally bumming my house up and bringing me down. So very uncool. Why can't you let birds and bees be free, bro?

Sly: Listen, Dimitri, you have no idea what you're playing with. It'll bring more than your house down...

Dimitri: Look, bro. I see that you are a tough cowboy... a man with taste... style... vision... a connoisseur of finer things. Like me. Look, I'm sure that 2 cats in a bag like us can work something out, yeah? We smoove, yeah? Look... see the money. You like the money. You can take all you want. I can—

Sly: No deal. You and the rest of the Klaww Gang have to be stopped. Clockwerk will never again see the light of day. Just hand over the tail feathers and we can—

Dimitri: What is this with clocks, bro? Have you no vision? Are you hearing what I beam to you? You think you have juice? Don't show me a little mind when talking about such big things. You think you can swing the bat? Show your bling and let me shine you.

Sly: I have no idea what you're saying… and your suit sucks.

Dimitri: [screams] Let's dance!

Dimitri: You take Clockwerk feathers and my counterfeiting operation, it's past tense.

Sly: I'm doing you a favor. What kind of thief prints money? There's no honor in that.

Dimtri: You... cracker-box!

Sly: [narrating] My gang and I had done it. The Clockwerk tail feathers were ours, and Dimitri's counterfeiting operation was ruined. Due to the untimely arrival of Carmelita, my escape got a little tricky. Angry at having just missed me, she took it out on Dimitri, shutting down the nightclub and throwing the frustrated forger behind bars. The Gang and I headed out of town for a week in Monaco. Bentley wanted to try out his new card counting formula, and I figured the team had earned themselves a well-deserved break.

A Starry Eyed Encounter

Sly: [narrating] Another Clockwerk part had surfaced in India, so the boys and I loaded up the van and zeroed in on our next target - a mysterious spice lord known as Rajan. A self-made man who grew up poor on the streets of Calcutta, he started his life of crime selling illegal spices in the black market, eventually growing his small outfit into a sizable operation and earning himself a seat in the prestigious Klaww Gang. He's since crowned himself "Lord of the Hills", and while he goes to great lengths to convince others of his royalty, it's mostly to convince himself. True to form, he's holding a lavish ball in his newly purchased ancestral palace. The reason? To show off his latest acquisition - the Clockwerk wings. The symbol of my enemy. If you saw the wings silhouetted against the night sky, it was already too late for you, especially if your name was Cooper. Rajan believes displaying the wings will bring him prestige, and maybe they will… but they're also bringing me.

Bentley: With the drawbridge up, the only across that river is on those conical rocks. Do you remember how to spire jump?

Sly: What? You think I'd forget one of the Cooper family's greatest thief moves? Whenever I'm near pointed objects, I just need to jump and hit the Circle button to perform a ninja style landing.

Bentley: That's correct. Now, let's see it in action.

Bentley: I figured out how to sneak in above the ballroom without being detected. The only problem is there's no way to climb up to that balcony door.

Sly: Not a problem. There seem to be plenty of branches for me to walk on. I'll figure it out.

Bentley: Stealing the Clockwerk wings in the middle of a crowded ballroom is going to take some serious misdirection, and the squad of undercover cops only makes things more complicated. Although... we might be able to use them to our advantage. But no matter what we do in the ballroom, sooner or later, we'll need to deal with Rajan's security chopper. Murray can take it with some of the local armaments, but he won't be able to get inside the palace until Sly lowers the drawbridge for him.

Bentley: Sly, Murray and I can't get inside the palace unless you lower the drawbridge.

Sly: I'd love to, pal, but winch is all locked down. You know where I can find the keys?

Bentley: Key guards have recently taken up position around the palace. Sneak in, pick all of their pockets, and bring the keys back to the locked-down winch.

Rajan: [intercom] Attention, vault room guards. Allow no guest entry to the inner workings of the palace. This party is supposed to be legitimate, and I don't want my flawless reputation being spoiled by some flunty who doesn't know how to lock a door! The spice trade is dangerous work, particularly for those who anger me!

Sly: [knocks on the door] Hello, I'm here for the dance.

Guard: Whuh? Sorry, "sir," but we have a dress code. You got a tuxedo?

Sly: Uh... no?

Guard: Sorry, pal. No tux, no entry!

Bentley: Sorry, Sly. Somehow, I totally overlooked the need for formal wear. That guy's not going to let you in without a tuxedo.

Sly: Don't beat yourself up, Bentley. At a party this ritzy, there has to be a spare penguin suit around here somewhere.

Bentley: Try the guesthouse. Someone may have over-packed.

Sly: Okay, Bentley, I'm in position inside the guesthouse. Have any intel for me?

Bentley: Ah, well, I'd recommend searching all the rooms. It's statistically probable that each should hold at least one part of a tuxedo.

Sly: What do I look for inside the rooms?

Bentley: This isn't an exact science. Ransack the place until you find part of a tuxedo.

Sly: Any plan which involves ransacking is OK with me.

Bentley: Synchronize your watches - this heist is going to take extreme precision. (I called this operation, the "Hippo Drop".) Here's the plan. I'll start things off by demolishing the palace's main bridge. That should cut off reinforcements from the guesthouse and hopefully distract the ballroom guards standing watch over the Clockwerk wings. Sly will then take Carmelita up on her offer for a dance, and while the crowd is transfixed by their tango, Murray will lower into the ballroom on the electronic winch. Once down, he'll cut the wings free and then winch back up for an exit. Murray should then make his way out of the palace. I'll cover his exit with the RC chopper. Once he crosses the drawbridge, we're home free.

Sly: Okay, Bentley. Murray and I are moving into position. You still think you can demolish something that large?

Bentley: It doesn't take an engineer to figure out how to blow up a bridge. [short pause] I'll start by placing charges on all of the lower cleats. [another short pause] Once the structure destabilizes, those retainer rings on the upper cleats should pop right off, that will enable me to bomb all of the upper cleats… which will bring it all crashing down.

Sly: Just watch your head when that thing becomes unstable. We need that brain of yours in one piece.

Rajan: [to his guards] What, the bridge is destroyed? Take all the manpower you need and look into it.

Sly: Murray, you in position?

Murray: Check!

Sly: It looks like Bentley's little distraction did the trick. Initiate phase 2 - I'll take care of Carmelita and the crowd, you handle the heavy lifting. [walks to Camerlita for the dance] Miss Fox, I believe you owe me a dance.

Carmelita: About time, I thought you had left.

Sly: Just waiting for the perfect moment.

Carmelita: Tell me, stranger, what's your name?

Sly: Why ruin the moment?

Carmelita: Huh? I... I don't understand.

Rajan: The wings! What happened to the Clockwerk wings?!

Carmelita: What? How? Who could have...? Whuh? Cooper!

Sly: [narrating] After the Gang and I got away with the Clockwerk wings, Carmelita blew her cover and started making arrests left and right. With his reputation in shambles, Rajan was forced to flee from his own party. He's now in hiding, somewhere deep in the jungle. The Gang and I took a break and headed for Bollywood. It took some doing, but we eventually snuck Murray onto the set of a full-blown Indian musical. I was happy the guys got to unwind, but Rajan was still out there, and somehow, I knew things were about to get tough.

The Predator Awakes

Sly: [narrating] It took some detective work, but the Gang and I managed to track down where Rajan had gone into hiding. Somehow, he managed to transform a long, forgotten temple into the thriving center of his spice operation and it's there where we'll find him. The jungle, to thick to drive through, forced us to walk the long distance to our target. We ran into a few problems (like a quicksand) along the way, but pushed on. For the temple was more than just Rajan's hideout. It was also home to the Clockwerk heart, a pump so strong and tireless it could increase spice production tenfold. Good for Rajan, but awful for the rest of the world. Hope he's not counting on that heart too much because tonight, it comes home with me.

Bentley: As I expected, Rajan is out for his daily tour of the operation. My source claims he always carries 3 blueprints on him, which when read together, tell you everything about his spice operation.

Sly: Too bad he doesn't have that section of the Clockwerk heart we saw during the recon. You could just pump him full of sleep darts and we could all go home.

Bentley: Unfortunately, my sleep darts aren't powerful enough to affect Rajan.

Sly: What? How are you going to get at those blueprints?

Bentley: Rajan has an insatiable appetite for Indian watermelons, which, if eaten whole, will force even him to nod off for a while. Once he's asleep, I'll creep in and lift the blueprints.

Sly: That's fine and all, but how do you plan on luring him over to the watermelons?

Bentley: I've equipped my sleep darts with a sonic disrupter. The strange sounds they make should be enough to lead the ever curious Rajan from place to place.

Bentley: Partial flooding didn't work, so it's time to go the distance. Blowing up the temple's elephant mouth should turn this grotto into a swimming pool. I'll cover Murray from the chopper's gun turret while he pries the mouth open. Once that's done, Sly will need to walk the Cherry Bomb 500 into the throat, then get to high ground as fast as you can. Rajan is sure to show up and be extra angry. Jump him, snag his half of the Clockwerk heart and we're out of here.

Rajan: Black Clouds and Thunderbolts! My spice temple... ruined! I will no longer hide while you villains destroy my hard-won empire. This place is mine... [growls] Here I am King! Come, face me, Cooper. With (half of) Clockwerk's black heart, I will show you true power. You are nothing. Come, face the might of Rajan, lord of these hills.

Sly: Boy, when we try to tick someone off, we really do the job.

Neyla: Yes... you do seem to have quite a talent for it.

Sly: Constable Neyla, slumming it with the thieves again?

Neyla: That man is an illegal spice trader. He should be brought to justice.

Sly: All I'm after is the Clockwerk part... you help me take him down and the bust is all yours.

Neyla: Just try to keep up.

[Upon reaching Rajan with Neyla.]

Sly: Neyla, now!

Neyla: Sorry.

Sly: What are you doing?

[after Rajan strikes Sly]

Murray: Wha? Sly! I'm coming, buddy! [gets blocked by lasers]

Rajan: This is it? This is the Cooper Gang I've heard so much about and feared these long hours?

Murray: "The Murray" will renew your fear.

Rajan: Who's "The Murray"? All I see is a fat, pathetic weakling.

Murray: I might be big and not as smart as the other guys… but one thing I'm not... is weak!

[after defeating Rajan]

Murray: Victory belongs to "The Murray"! Sly's going to want this half of the Clockwerk heart safe and sound.

Neyla: Happy day!

Murray: Whuh? Neyla? Throw down a ladder, Sly's hurt real bad. Can you hear me?! I said Sly's hurt!

Neyla: There they are, Contessa, just as I promised. The Cooper Gang and Rajan all incapacitated.

Contessa: Excellent police work Constable Neyla. Carmelita's never been able to catch the Cooper Gang, yet you capture them in just a few short weeks.

Carmelita: Well, I never...

Contessa: Really Carmelita, accept your defeat gracefully.

Neyla: Actually, Contessa, there's a good reason Inspector Fox never caught the Cooper Gang - she's been in league with them the whole time.

Carmelita: Liar, prove it!

Neyla: This is a photo of Carmelita dancing with Sly Cooper on the night the Clockwerk wings were stolen.

Carmelita: But I didn't know I was dancing with Cooper.

Contessa: You 2 seem very... familiar in this picture. Men, place Inspector Fox under arrest.

Carmelita: I'll get you Neyla. Don't think I won't.

Contessa: Such a pity when an officer falls from the light.

Neyla: Yes… indeed.

Bentley: I can't believe it... that double-crossing, cockney... liar!

Bentley: [narrating] Though statistically improbable, I had to face the facts - Neyla had betrayed us, my teammates were captured, and I was all alone. While intellectually inferior, Sly and Murray had always been a rich source of sociological interest. The long walk out of the jungle gave me time to reflect, and with each passing step, my sense of isolation grew. Shockingly, my comrades' absence had a profound emotional effect on me. This was it. This was the true test of friendship. Upon reaching the van, my resolve was hardened. I had to save my friends… but first things first, I had to learn how to drive a stick shift.

Jailbreak

Bentley: [narrating] It took a sleepless week of data crunching, but I eventually tracked down the location of my friends - locked away in the mysterious towers of Prague. At the moment, they're the unwilling guests of Interpol's most renowned prison warden - the Contessa. While still a criminal psychology student, she entered into a whirlwind romance and married a wealthy aristocrat. Sadly, the union was short-lived, as the general "suspiciously" died a few weeks after the ceremony. The widowed Contessa put her education and newly acquired estate to work by opening a criminal rehabilitation center. Her pioneering use of hypnotherapy has produced some good results and subsequently earned her a prominent position within Interpol. My friends are locked up somewhere in the clinic and are slated for the Contessa's "good samaritan" brainwashing. If I don't bust them out soon, they'll be working a 9-to-5 job selling shoes and I'll be out 2 best friends!

Bentley: Aha! The Contessa is out making her rounds. Wait a second. The feathers on my sleep darts vibrate near sounds. If I maintain my position on top of this parabolic dish I should be able to hear that frequency at a distance. This is great! If I tag the Contessa with my darts, I'll be able to listen in on whatever she says. I might even learn where she's locked up Sly and Murray! [hits the Contessa with his first dart]

Contessa: The Klaww Gang is falling apart. Spice shipments have all but stopped. Argh! I never would have joined if I'd know it would be this easy to disrupt the plan. At least the Cooper Gang is under lock and key. Their lopsided morality flies in the face of man's inherent selfishness. Ah, well. They'll see it my way soon enough. [gets tagged by Bentley's 2nd dart] Those fools at Interpol. They keep sending me criminals and I keep making money. How come no one ever thought of this before? Hypnotize criminals and force them to reveal where they've hidden their fortune. I'm a genius! If only I had more spice to help me with the hypnosis! [gets tagged again by Bentley's 3rd dart] That blasted Cooper Gang. The fat one. What's his name? Murray. Yes, Murray. He'll be the first to break. I should spend a few sessions probing that feeble mind, I can only imagine the wealth that gang has accumulated over the years. [gets tagged again by Bentley's 4th and final dart] That Sly Cooper... such a complex and rebellious mind. A month or 2 in "the hole" should break his spirit. Let him squat there, week after week, he's already seen the guards along the wall all have motion detectors. There is no escape. Slowly the reality of his captivity will set in… and I'll get to work on his mind.

Bentley: Inconceivable! She's no health care professional. Why, that's the most heinous crime I've ever heard of! Putting inmates into hypnosis, so they'll tell her where they've stashed their loot. It dishonors both law enforcement and thieves at the same time! I should get to work and figure out a way to break Sly of "the hole".

Bentley: Sly, can you read me?!

Sly: How I've missed that sensuous voice of yours.

Bentley: Save the jocular comments for later. Do you see that hook above the train?

Sly: Yeah?

Bentley: It's your only means of escape, jump and hit the circle button to grab hold... then swing onto the back of the train. I've already established a safe house and downloaded its GPS coordinates into your binocucom. We'll rendezvous there.

Sly: Wow, you've really thought of everything.

Bentley: Don't I always?

Sly: Yeah… you do. Thanks for busting me out.

Bentley: Ah well, you know the old saying - "If you can't count on a friend to bust you out of jail, what kind of a friend are they?".

Sly: Truer words were never said, Wizard.

Bentley: Okay, here's the situation. I've done some deep database crunching and figured out that Murray is doing time in Cell Block D. Getting him out is going to be tough. As you know, he's not very light on his feet. First, we'll need to get Murray into an isolation cell away from the other inmates. Second, I'll need you to get a sample of the Contessa's encryption algorithm. Don't worry, I'll explain later. Third, you'll need to pickpocket a few keys from the Contessa, but watch out for her pack of bodyguards! And fourth, you'll need to deactivate her giant attack robot. No really, Sly, I'm serious. The Contessa has a giant attack robot. It just looks like a water tower. Now, once you've pulled off all these jobs, we'll be ready to make a play for the big guy.

Bentley: Okay, Sly. In order to get Murray out, we'll need him to get thrown into solitary confinement. That pipe will lead you to his cell block. Try to locate him and relate the plan. After that, it's all up to (The) Murray.

Sly: Alright, I'm headed inside. [heads to pipe that leads to the prison and then later finds Murray] Psst! Murray! Hey, Murray!

Murray: Huh? Sly… where are you?

Sly: Over here, in the back wall!

Murray: Sly, I'm so glad to see you. They've been forcing me to eat meals covered in spice… and I'm feeling kind of strange. You gotta get me outta here!

Sly: No problem. Bentley seems to have found a weakness in the solitary confinement cell. If you can get in a big enough fight, the guards will throw you in there. Trust me, I'm speaking from experience.

Murray: Well, if you say so... I suppose a powerful force like "The Murray" can take down 50 foes... if I had to.

Sly: Excellent! You beat the snot out of 50 of those guys… and Bentley and I will take care of the rest.

[after defeating 50 inmates]

Murray: 50! Eat that you incarcerating suckas! Is that anti-social enough for ya? Oh, what, you gonna throw me in solitary?! Bring it on!

Bentley: Okay Sly, that's it! The Contessa's giant attack robot!

Sly: Look, Bentley, with all due respect it looks an awful lot like a water tower.

Bentley: Don't be fooled! That's what she wants you to think. If we try to free Murray while that thing's operational, why…

Sly: What, we'll have plenty of fresh drinking water?

Bentley: I'm serious, Sly.

Sly: Of course. I do owe you one.

Bentley: The lightning rods around the prison are designed to draw lightning strikes away from the water tower... er, giant attack robot.

Sly: Uh huh, yeah?

Bentley: By turning the wheels on the rod you should be able to redirect the electrical current away from its ground wire... rendering it useless. Follow the lightning strikes to locate all 5 rods.

Sly: Okay, so you want me to break the ground circuit on all these lightning rods so that a bolt will strike "and destroy" the giant attack robot posing as a water tower.

Bentley: That's an accurate summation.

Bentley: Thanks to your recent efforts, we're ready to attempt a Murray rescue. I call this plan the "Trojan Tank". Step 1 - we use the Contessa's keys to steal one of her tanks. I'll jump in and drive while you keep out of sight by crawling underneath. With some luck, the guards won't notice anything out of the ordinary and open the prison gates for us. We casually roll in and then blast the security doors to Murray's cell block. Once inside, you'll need to improvise your way up to the guard control center and open the doors leading down to solitary confinement. Let's hope Murray hasn't cracked under the Contessa's hypnosis.

Sly: Okay, Bentley. What's next?

Bentley: Well, that should be the guards' control center… but to be honest, I'm not sure how you're going to get up there.

Sly: Don't worry about it. Thinking on my feet is what I do best.

Bentley: Most of the security went down when we cut the power on the bridge, but a few lights seem to have a backup generator. Be careful.

Bentley: Hmm, that looks bad. I've never seen Murray like this.

Sly: He's all twitchy and bug-eyed.

Bentley: You said Murray was being forced to eat spice(d meals), right?

Sly: Yeah, he said he was feeling "weird". (Or was it "strange"?)

Bentley: Well, he's weirded out alright. I doubt he even knows we're here. Clearly, we're going to have to lure out of that cell the hard way.

Sly: The hard way? (What do you mean?)

Bentley: Those hypno-boxes are designed to heighten the effects of spice… and he's already in an agitated state… so if we were to turn them all on at the same time, Murray's sure to become wildly hostile and probably break down the door.

Sly: How do we turn on the hypno-boxes?

Bentley: The power switches are all defended by laser barriers. When you get close, I'll hack the laser system from my terminal down here. That should give you access.

Sly: Let's do it. Anything to help out ol' Murray. He's looking really bad.

Murray: You lousy, no-good head shrinker!

Contessa: Oh, come now, Murray. We were making such progress during our sessions.

Murray: The only mental help I need is to never be reminded of you again!

Contessa: Such displaced hostility. If you insist on getting angry, why not be psychologically productive and channel it at your so-called friends?

Murray: I'm done talking with my mouth! Now I talk with my fists!

Contessa: Sorry, but our time is up.

Bentley: [narrating] It was great! The Gang had been reunited and it was all because of me! Even the van ride out of town was like a party. Murray had to pull over twice because he was laughing so hard, but despite all the jokes, I think something had changed. Since childhood, the 3 of us had never been apart, and our recent isolation gave us all pause for thought. Needless to say, we took a few weeks off before getting back to work… and for the first time in my life, Murray let me drive!

A Tangled Web

Sly: [narrating] Time for a little payback. The Contessa, having escaped us in the prison, is now hiding out at her castle estate. It's a well-fortified gothic nightmare that would make any thief run in terror. Terrible or not, that's where we're headed. To sweeten the deal, we've learned that the Contessa, who until recently was a secret member of the Klaww Gang, is in possession of the Clockwerk eyes. The Thievius Raccoonus describes the eyes stopping opponents dead in their tracks, transfixed in their gaze. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what an accomplished hypnotist can do with such powerful artifacts. News of the Contessa's corruption has spread to INTERPOL. Constable Neyla, being closest to the case, was granted a cash allowance to hire an army of local mercenaries. It looks like we're walking into a full-scale war, but we have to act now before things go from bad to worse.

Sly: Bentley, there's more than just the Clockwerk eyes up here.

Carmelita: Why are you doing this?! Neyla. She set me up. I'm an honest cop!

Contessa: Of course you are. I read your psychological profile, I know that you're honest.

Carmelita: Then why are you doing this to me?

Contessa: Because, dear… you're honest. You see, by chasing after Sly Cooper, you learned too much about the Klaww Gang and its spice operation. It was only a matter of time before you found out that I was a secret member. So when Neyla gave me the chance to put you in custody, I took it.

Carmelita: Coward! You're a disgrace to Interpol! I'll make it my life's work to destroy you.

Contessa: Oh, I'm afraid your life, let alone your "life's work" isn't going to last much longer. Once I integrate the Clockwerk eyes into this device your "life's work" will be whatever I tell you.

Carmelita: I won't be brainwashed that easily.

Contessa: Quite right, it won't be easy... or painless… but I will reprogram your mind and you will take the fall for me at Interpol. Now, just lay back and relax, go to your happy place and stay there forever.

Bentley: I don't think they've seen you. Take a few photos and get out of there.

Sly: No. I've gotta help Carmelita, she's in trouble here.

Bentley: There's nothing you can do now! Get the recon photos and come back to the safe house. I swear, we'll find a way to help her.

Bentley: Alright, fellas, let's get down to business. The first steps to escalating the war between Neyla and the Contessa have gone well. We're down to the final setups before we spring our trap. Sly, I need you to steal a voice modulator from the castle and install it under Neyla's headquarters. If all goes as planned, it should allow us to give orders to her mercenaries without being detected. Unfortunately, Neyla's recent bomber purchase has made her army over-enthusiastic, and they might strike before we're ready, which leads me to (you,) Murray. I need you to hotwire one of the Contessa's tanks and go to town on the mercenaries. We just need to intimidate them a little. And finally, I'll venture back into the crypts to power up that old computer in the re-education tower. We're going to need it to save Carmelita. Oh, and Sly, if you haven't already got one, you'll need to buy a paraglider for the heist. Okay, let's move out!

Carmelita: I'll get you, Contessa!

Contessa: Oh, how many times must you say that? It's not going to happen.

Carmelita: I'm dead serious, I'll get you!

Contessa: [mimicking] "I'll get you, I'll get you."

Carmelita: I mean it, I'll get you!

Contessa: Yes, yes, so I've heard.

Contessa: Inspector Fox, why fight it? Don't you want to be my friend?

Carmelita: No, you horrible 8-legged cow! No!

Bentley: With that old computer powered up my work here is done.

Bentley: It's time to wage war on the castle, and in the confusion, pull off a heist I've named "Operation - High Road"! First, Murray will take down the spotlights on the main gate with the codes provided by General Clawfoot. Then, with the help of the voice modulator, I'll order Neyla's forces to attack. Sly will then paraglide the two of us over to the Contessa's getaway blimp and we'll use it to get inside her re-education tower. The assault on the castle will undoubtedly draw the Shadow Guards from their post, and if we free Inspector Fox, she's sure to clear out the Contessa. With the mind shuffler exposed, I'll plant the bad mojo bomb and presto, the Clockwerk eyes are ours! So if the two of you are ready, let's take our positions and get this thing started!

Contessa: [to her Shadow Guards] What? The mercenaries have breached the castle defenses?! All of you go, defend this tower to the last man! [to Carmelita] Don't worry, my dear... I still have time to finish with your "readjustment".

Carmelita: Let me out of here and I'll "readjust" your face!

Sly: Okay, partner, looks like the Shadow Guard is out of the picture. You ready to free our violent little princess?

Bentley: Affirmative! That Irontech 2-50 is a fully integrated system. Access to Carmelita's restraints has to be in this old terminal somewhere.

Contessa: Ah-ha! I've isolated the brain pattern... you and I are about to become the best of friends.

Carmelita: Okay, new "best friend". Hands up, and I mean all of 'em.

Contessa: My dear, you really should… [gasps] Shadow Guard! Shadow Guard!

Carmelita: [chases after the Contessa] Come back here, you witch!

Sly: That Carmelita, always trying to resolve her problems with a shock pistol.

Bentley: She is rather truculent. Stand clear, Sly. This might have a larger blast than anticipated.

[The Mojo Bomb blows up the Mind Shuffler.]

Sly: Bentley, you okay?!

Bentley: This is no place for an asthmatic… but (I'm alright, and I believe) I've located one of the Clockwerk eyes. Can you find the other?

Neyla: No worries, chaps. It's safely in hand.

Sly (and Bentley): Neyla!?

Neyla: Thanks for clearing out the Contessa. Nothing I did could pry her away from the Clockwerk eyes. Hmm, one should be enough for the old bird. Ta-ta!

Sly: Bentley, take the eye and escape on the blimp! I'm going after Neyla( and the other one)!

Bentley: But... the plan, it… This wasn't in the plan!

Bentley: Okay, guys, I'm heading out for our rendezvous.

Carmelita: Come back here, Contessa! That getaway blimp won't save you!

Bentley: Merciful Hades! Sly, can you read me? Carmelita shot out the guidance system and the blimp's descending at a decidedly unsafe rate! I'm going down! Down! DOWN!

Contessa: That eye belongs to me, and I want it back!

Sly: No way! You think I'm crazy? Actually, on second thought, don't answer that. I really don't want your professional opinion.

Contessa: Not crazy, just stupid. You're an ignorant child playing dress-up in his father's legacy. Oh, I know all about you and the Cooper clan.

Sly: Then you'll understand why this eye needs to be destroyed.

Contessa: Short-sighted fool! I've no interest in your narrow interpretation of morality. I'm above all that, above good and evil.

Sly: And you think I'd give the eye to someone that's "above morality"?

Contessa: Enough talk, insect! It will be just as easy… and more fun to pry it from your cold, dead hand.

[During their fight.]

Bentley: Hello? Is anyone there? Guys, I'm alive. Wait, what the…?

Carmelita: Hands up, turtle! Give me the Clockwerk eye. I said give it here! Now keep your hands up for 10 minutes after I leave. I'll be watching you.

Bentley: Carmelita. She... [to himself] Oh, the guys are going to kill me.

Contessa: Enough! You've shown me the error of my ways.

Sly: I feel sorry for you. All your education and you still don't know right from wrong.

[The Contessa gets back up and strikes Sly down.]

Sly: Huh? Oof!

Contessa: I know enough not to let my guard down around an intellecually superior opponent!

Sly: [gets up] She got the eye? [sees The Contessa escaping] She's got the eye!!

Sly: [narrating] Things hadn't gone exactly to plan, but the Contessa was beaten and the Clockwerk eyes were finally mine. The Contessa was arrested and brought to trial for the crimes she committed while working at Interpol. Their PR damage control went one step further by promoting Neyla the "Hero of Prague", to the rank of Captain. Carmelita, still on the outs with Interpol, had to run with the rest of us. To my surprise and eternal delight, I got to help my favorite policewoman escape from the cops. I tried to put it all out of my mind. This Klaww business was spiraling out of control and I knew that my gang was at the center of it. We'd be back in action soon enough, but for now, well, we just laid low for a while.

He Who Tames the Iron Horse

Sly: [narrating] Following the trail of spice shipments, we made our way up to Nunavut Bay, Canada - he secret hub of Jean Bison's shipping empire. As a young man, he trekked across Canada to strike it rich during the Gold Rush of 1852. An avid prospector, he took some chances and ended up buried alive in an avalanche. Miraculously, the quick freeze kept him alive, and 120 years later, thanks to global warming, he thawed out. A product of his time, he dreams of taming the "Wild North", damming every river and chopping down all the trees with progress delivered at the sharp end of an ax. Shipping spice for the Klaww Gang proved a lucrative way to bankroll his one-man war against nature. And yet, I have to feel a little sorry for him. He's just a normal guy from the 1850s. Back in his day, he'd be a hero, but today, he's a villain. Either way, that man's got more than his fair share of the Clockwerk parts. What a low tech guy like Jean Bison is doing with robot parts is a mystery. I almost don't want to know. But as always, it's only a matter of time before I find out.

Arpeggio: Hello. Arpeggio here.

Jean: Salutations, Mr. Arpeggio. Y'all got time to shoot the breeze?

Arpeggio: Of course, for you, Jean, always, though must we communicate through that triple speakerphone?

Bison: Yeah, I can think better while my legs move... pumps blood to your brain.

Arpeggio: Yes, of course, one must keep blood in one's brain, but do tell. Is there some pressing matter you'd like to discuss?

Bison: First off, are you still coming on schedule to get that northern light battery?

Arpeggio: Yes, we're well underway. My blimp should arrive at the end of the week.

Bison: Bullseye. For second, when are you going to give me a look-see at that Clockwerk brain of yours? I'd sure like to buy it off ya.

Arpeggio: Bison, you covetous troglodyte. You've already got the lion's share of the parts. Would you take my meager portion of the robotic bird for your own and strip me of all my earthly pleasures?

Bison: Easy there, partner. You're all up in a lather. It's just that I found some real use for the Clockwerk parts I got. Why, I put 3 of them in the engines of my best trains... with those robotic doohickeys feeding the fire them trains will run all night and all day. I call them my Iron Horses. Of course, I gotta keep the plans hidden... stuffed them in my three trophy bass.

Arpeggio: Sounds like you're making capital use of your share of the robotic loot, but for now, the Clockwerk brain stays with me on the blimp. Although, when I arrive to pick up the northern light battery I might be persuaded to give you a peek.

Bison: That'll do fine. By the way, you ready to giddy-up into Pari for the final hoedown?

Arpeggio: Yes, the blimp's hypnotism wavelengths conform to the specs drawn up by the Contessa. And Dimitri, before his unfashionable capture, did a bang-up job of distributing spice throughout his nightclub.

Bison: Sounds like all you're missing is some northern light electricity.

Arpeggio: You're correct, sir. Yours is the final piece to the puzzle. The missing link. Once the battery is aboard, nothing will stand in the Klaww Gang's way. Paris will be ours!

Bison: Yeah, yeah, okay… so I guess I'll be seeing you at the end of the week?

Arpeggio: Right. Farewell, Bison. Stiff upper lip. Ta-ta.

Bentley: Thanks to Sly's efforts we now know the location of all 3 of the local Clockwerk parts - 2 lungs and a stomach. Jean Bison has grafted each piece to the engine in one of his Iron Horse trains. This improvement allows the trains to run all night and all day. We won't have the luxury of sneaking in while they're stopped. While in motion the only way in is through a hatch on the caboose roof, which unfortunately has been locked down. These need to go. First, collect spice gas from the balloons above town, and then land on the back of the caboose to blow off the locks. Once the way is cleared, I'll suit up and jump into Iron Horse #1 while it passes near town. With some luck, we'll have the first Clockwerk lung in a few hours.

Bentley: Okay, Sly. We need to break into the Iron Horse trains… but the only way in, through the caboose, is locked. To blow the locks off, you'll need to collect the ultra-unstable denatured spice gas from those balloons floating above town.

Sly: How am I supposed to get up there to collect the spice gas?

Bentley: Murray's already commandeered this ice plane. Jump on its strut and he'll fly you up to a good paragliding altitude. Oh, and strap on a special vacuum backpack. It'll automatically collect the spice gas after you've popped a balloon.

Sly: Sounds like fun.

Bentley: Once you've collected enough gas, you'll have to land directly on the train's caboose.

Sly: Why directly on the caboose?

Bentley: Denatured spice gas is very unstable at lower altitudes. Unless you land on the caboose, you won't have time to get the gas tank to the lock before it blows up.

Sly: So you're saying I either land on the caboose or... get blown to bits. [As Murray starts the ice plane up.]

Bentley: That's correct. Chemistry can be a harsh mistress.

Bentley: Things are going great. We've already stolen one of Jean Bison's 3 Clockwerk parts. However, Iron Horse 2 and 3 are going to be a little tougher to crack. First, I'll need to hop aboard Iron Horse #2 and do a little preemptive RC chopper strike to clear out the air defenses. Once cleared, it'll be up to Sly to work his magic in the interior to get at that second Clockwerk lung. Murray, you'll need to trap some of the local bear cubs in order to unlock a nearby handcar. We're going to need it to catch up with Iron Horse #3, but don't worry, the cubs won't be hurt. Although, I can't say the same for the guards.

Bentley: We'll need this hand car to chase down Iron Horse #3… but for the time being it's all fenced in.

Murray: No problem, I'll tear that fence apart!

Bentley: Those bars are too resilient for my bombs or your muscle, Murray. No, for this job, we need a stronger force - the love of a mother for her child!

Murray: Uh... You got something to tell me?

Bentley: Yes, I've had the good fortune of locating 2 juvenile bear cubs. If you put them together inside that fence, they'd surely start fighting. Bears at that age are particularly antisocial. Noise from the squabble should bring their mother around to free the angry youths.

Murray: I get ya. That big Mama bear will be able to smash the fence no problem to free her cubs.

Bentley: That's correct.

Murray: Beware, cubs. For you are hunted by "The Murray".

Bentley: Okay, guys, this is it. Time to break into Iron Horse #3 and carry away the Clockwerk stomach. Now, the train's moving too fast to jump onto here in town, so we'll have to catch up with it on Murray's new hand car. Once we're in position, Sly will hop onboard and make his way to the engine. While he travels through the interior, I'll provide air support with my RC chopper. I've planned this as a textbook train robbery. If we all do our jobs right, what could possibly go wrong?

Neyla: Oi, Cooper! Thought I might find you here. Just can't stay away from these Clockwerk parts can you?

Sly: Oh, I just do it to meet exciting ladies like yourself.

Neyla: If you'd like some excitement why not climb up on top of the train? I'm sure to get your heart pumping, maybe even show you my new ride.

Sly: No thanks, Neyla. I've seen enough already.

Neyla: What's the problem, poodle? Afraid you can't take me on, have to call up your little friends for help?

Sly: Come in, "little friends". Neyla's got me pinned down. Any chance of air support?

Bentley: I've already launched the RC chopper. She won't know what hit her!

Neyla: Come on, Cooper. Let's play. [gets hit by the RC chopper] What in blazes!? Alright, little RC friend. This should be a quick bit of destruction.

Murray: Never thought I'd see the day when a stomach got turned into a tool of evil.

Sly: Looks like Jean Bison's wised up and bolted the stomach down. We'll have to crack the engine block to get it free.

Bentley: Then that's just what we'll do. A well placed bomb down the train's smoke stack will knock it loose. Just make sure to take some cover.

Sly: [narrating] The Gang and I had pulled off the impossible. We'd successfully robbed all of Jean Bison's Iron Horse trains and we were walking away with 3, count them, 3 Clockwerk parts… and as a bonus, we shut down spice distribution in all of North America. Needless to say, we were pretty pleased with ourselves. Can't say the same for Carmelita. Once again, the framed policewoman had to run from the cops, which was fun at first, but I'm starting to feel a little sorry for her. I mean, what if they replace Carmelita with someone else? I don't want another cop on my tail. She's a big part of why this is all fun. Sooner or later, I'm gonna to have to find a way to clear her name... some way other than turning myself in.

Menace from the North, eh?!

Sly: [narrating] Things just weren't right up in Canada. Random acts of violence were popping up like weeds and the northern lights… Well, they just weren't right. One night, they'd be brighter than ever and the next, gone. In Nunavut Bay, I overheard talk between Jean Bison and his mysterious partner, Arpeggio. Somehow, those two are behind it all. Tracking the source of the disturbance was easy. By simply following the lights, we were lead north to an immense lumber camp. The sheer number of fallen trees advertised Jean Bison's presence and that he was in possession of the Clockwerk talons. The Thievius Raccoonus makes numerous references to the talons slicing through plates of steel. A skilled lumberjack like Bison could clear a forest in hours while wielding the artifacts. Those talons have got to go, both to finally do away with Clockwerk and to save the environment from his twisted sense of progress. The world just doesn't to make space for another strip mall.

Bentley: Okay, so here's what we know. 1, Arpeggio's blimp is on its way to pick up a battery from Jean Bison. And 2, the only way we'll get a crack at Arpeggio's Clockwerk brain is by finding a way to sneak aboard his blimp.

Sly: But before we do that, we'll need to snag the Clockwerk talons off Jean Bison. Time is short and we've got a lot to accomplish.

Bentley: True, true… but first things first, this lumber camp isn't on any of my maps. I need you to poke around and take some recon photos, they'll help to get my sensors oriented.

Sly: No problem. Recon photos I got covered.

Bentley: In anticipation of the icy climate, I took the liberty of modifying your cane. It can now separate into 2 smaller canes... useful for ice climbing. Try ascending to the top of that sheet of ice. Just jump and hit the circle button to dig in.

Bison: [to himself] Come on, Jean. Ya got it in ya. Those lumberjack games need some more competition, eh? What would attract the participants? Bullseye! I'll post the Clockwerk talons as a trophy. That should bring in the competition. Although, who'm I kidding, eh? I'm-a-gonna win just like every other year. Ha! Oh, it's tough being this tough. It sure is, yeah.

Bentley: Head back to the safe house. We need to talk about these lumberjack games.

Bentley: Jean Bison has unknowingly thrown down the gauntlet. With the Clockwerk talons as a trophy, we'd be fools not to participate in his lumberjack games. Fortunately, due to frequent avalanches, a log chopping guide was frozen in a block of ice not far from our position. Sly, you're in charge of acquiring the book. I'm sure it will prove invaluable. Now, we're all aware that Arpeggio's blimp is coming to pick up another battery. To sneak aboard without incident, I suggest we pull a Trojan Horse and stow away inside the battery. However, the location of the device is still a mystery. We need some inside information. So, working together, you 2 will infiltrate the moose guards' secret RC combat club. Those guys all work in the lighthouse. If you win the battle, I'm sure they'll talk. Despite his antique mind, Jean Bison's no fool. To keep tabs on him, we'll need to bug his house. Steal the radio tags off local bears, then jerry-rig them into a sensor array. It's a challenging set of tasks, and that blimp's on its way. Let's get to work!

Murray: [wearing a stuffed moose head] Hey fellas, any of you think you can beat "the Mur...", uh, "the Moose"? Maybe put a bet on it?

Moose Guard: Oh I'm in, eh! I ain't got a lot of money for this wager, but there's no way I'd lose to a new guy like you, huh?

Moose Guard: You won, eh, but I ain't got no money.

Murray: [still wearing the moose head] That might be okay. It all depends.

Moose Guard: Depends on what?

Murray: On whether or not, you know the location of the Northern Light Battery.

Moose Guard: Oh, well… I guess I owe ya.

Bentley: Stand clear Sly, something else is coming out of the deep freeze. [a mammoth thaws out from the ice and runs off] I've never seen such a majestic creature! So full of life, so ready to live… [a splash is heard off-screen] So much for that. He's back in the deep freeze.

Sly: Cheer up, pal. We got the log chopping guide.

Bentley: After reading through the log chopping guide, it's become painfully clear that to win in the Lumberjack Games, we'll have to cheat. Now, I've constructed a plan which hinges around us acquiring an eagle's egg which is more difficult than you'd think. First, Murray needs to lure a bear into taking out the local oil mains. Once destroyed, the pressurized oil should ignite and create updrafts which Sly will then use to paraglide over to the eagle's nest, grab an egg, and then head back to the safe house. Thanks to Murray's undercover work in the RC Combat Club, we've learned that the Northern Light Battery is hidden in a silo nearby. The battery needs some serious modification if we're going to hide inside it to sneak onto Arpeggio's blimp. First, we'll short the battery with grapple lines on local boats, then we'll all break into the lighthouse and sever the power flow to the battery that way it won't recharge. Given my electrical engineering background, this plan has a 97% chance of success. Pretty good, huh?

Sly: If we're going to get an eagle egg, you'll first have to destroy all the local oil mains.

Murray: It looks pretty sturdy. The Murray is strong, but his fists can't punch through metal.

Sly: No problem. See that old bear down there? His name is Grizzle Face, the guards ignore him because he's blind and practically nerve dead… except for his sense of smell. If that old guy smells fish there's no stopping him. Use Grizzle Face to take out the oil mains.

Murray: But I don't smell like fish, do I? How can I lure him around?

Sly: Bentley's taken up a post along the river. He'll keep tossing bombs into the water an the fish should get blown sky high. Plenty should land near your position.

Murray: So you want me to throw a fish at the oil mains, so that old Grizzle Face will knock'em apart?

Sly: That's the idea. You might even try throwing fish at the guards. Might improve their odor.

Bentley: In order to overcome Jean Bison in the Lumberjack Games we'll need to enlist the help of the giant Canadian eagles. Their nest is out on that iceberg. Steal one of the eggs and then bring it safely back to the safe house. We'll use it to direct the eagle's protective instincts against Bison.

Sly: Sure, sounds easy enough… except for the part where I have to swim half a mile in freezing water.

Bentley: Why swim when you can paraglide? With the oil mains all destroyed, the pent-up combustible materials have just caught fire.

Sly: I see, the updraft created by the flames should give me some extra altitude.

Bentley: Just make sure to stay out of the fire. Get too close and old Grizzle Face will be eating barbecued raccoon for dinner.

Sly: That's a charming image Bentley.

Bentley: The Lumberjack Games are upon us. Now, despite Murray's study of the log chopping guide, none of us are skilled enough to beat Jean Bison at his own game, so though it pains me to say it, we'll have to cheat. Murray, you'll participate in the power log chopping competition. Get us a good score and then let Bison up for his turn. While he's chopping, I'll sneak the eagle egg into his trousers and the protective parents should disturb his ax swings. Sly, given your ascension skills, I've signed you up for the ice wall climb. We'll keep Bison from beating your score by pulling him off the wall with some nearby grappling lines. And finally, I'll represent our team in the log rolling competition. With my knowledge of rotational mechanics, we're sure to get a stupendous score. Sly will be in charge of greasing Bison's logs so he has no chance of beating it. If you guys are ready, I say we head out and show these meathead lumberjacks what we're made of!

Bentley: Excuse me sir. We humble lumberjacks would like to participate in your Lumberjack Games.

Bison: Think you got what it takes to win the Clockwerk talons, eh? Well I'm sure enough gonna let you play... so long as you pay the entry fee.

Bentley: Much obliged, partner. We'll, uh… just take our positions for the competition.

Bison: Enjoy the moment while ya think you've still got a chance. It's as close to winning as you'll ever get!

Murray: This is crazy. Jean Bison's got those judges so intimidated, there's no way he can lose.

Sly: You're right, Murray. Those guys need to go. Okay, I'm just making this up on the fly, but... what if I were to lure the judges, one by one, into that cave? Once inside, you two will knock 'em out and take their clothes.

Bentley: Ingenious! When all 3 judges have been restrained, we'll be able to don our disguises and take their place at the judges table. Sly, you can use the Alarm Clock gadget to distract the judges and lure them into the cave.

Murray: That's a great plan Sly, but you'll have to move fast. Once Jean Bison finishes the log rolling event, the gig is up.

Bison: [to the "judges"] What?! I thought I warned you judges about the consequences for "incorrect" scores! Wait a second… You aren't the judges I hired! It's the scrawny raccoon and his annoying friends. Well, if you want the talons, then why don't you just take 'em?!

Bentley: Oooh, my aching head. Those talons really pack a punch. Sly, Murray! Wake up!

Sly: Yeah, I'm awake, but not so loud. I have a splitting headache.

Murray: Whuh, who…? Where are we, what's going on?

Bentley: This looks like the sawmill control room. Bison must have thrown us in here for interrogation later. I, for one, would like to escape before he returns.

Sly: It looks like we're pretty well sealed in here unless…

Bentley: Unless what?

Sly: Unless you can fit through that hole?

Bentley: I... I think I can squeeze through there. I'll drop down and try to free you guys from the outside. If there's any trouble, I'll call with this walkie-talkie( that I just somehow found). You might be able to help me with these sawmill controls.

Murray: While you guys do that, I'll try prying open that steel door. Given enough time I might be able to make some progress.

Sly: Sounds like a plan. Good luck Bentley, and remember to shout if I can help you from up here.

Bison: Well now Candy Britches, I shoulda figured a puny turtle like you would find a rat hole to squirm through.

Bentley: Well, uh… Just dropped my glasses, (and) had to come pick 'em up.

Bison: I ain't like you boy, I ain't stew-pid. While y'all were unconscious, me and my boys paid a visit to your hideout and found all them Clockwerk parts. Lucky thing too, Arpeggio was willing to plunk down a King's ransom for the whole lot. I even threw in the talons.

Bentley: You sold all the Clockwerk parts!? Arpeggio has them all!?

Bison: I wouldn't expect one of your kind to understand the finer points of commerce. You turtles are too stew-pid to know a wood cutter from a wood chuck.

Bentley: That's it! Time I showed you just how "stew-pid" we turtles really are. Sly, on my command!

Sly: I hear ya.

Bentley: Prepare yourself Bison. En garde!

Bison: Okay, Walnut. Get ready for a smushin'.

Sly: [narrating] As we shut ourselves into the Northern Light battery it became black. For a few long minutes, we just sat there in darkness. No one dared to talk for fear that Jean Bison's men might discover where we were hiding. Time seemed to have stopped, and then, we felt it. We were being lifted up to Arpeggio's blimp. It was all so strange. The focus of all our schemes had been stolen from us. Our Clockwerk parts were gone. Looking around the inside of the battery, I knew we all felt it - failure. I was twitchy and ready for action, any action. Bentley tried to make some sense of the situation by drawing up meaningless plans, but Murray... Murray took it the worst. He just sat there sobbing while the team van floated away over the horizon. That van was his life. I knew I'd have to find a way to make it up to him.

Anatomy for Disaster

Sly: [narrating] There we were, heading east across the Atlantic Ocean. Stowaways on a giant airborne fortress. Though time was short, we made sure to study up on our unknowing host, Arpeggio. While attending a prestigious boarding school, the young Arpeggio excelled in all subjects, but he never managed to keep up with the other boys physically. Sadly, his wings, due to their small size, were useless for flight. Furious at his feeble body, he focused his powerful mind to search for a cure in the works of the Italian Renaissance masters. Their notebooks provided the springboard for this sinister young genius, and it wasn't long before the Klaww Gang took him on as chief inventor. His talents must have been at work repurposing all the Clockwerk parts for their criminal schemes, and now this mastermind is in possession of all the parts. It's only a matter of time before he puts them back together, and when that happens... Well, I'm not going to let that happen.

[inside the blimp]

Bentley: I... I had no idea they could re-assemble Clockwerk so fast!

Sly: Calm down, Bentley. He might be in one piece, but he doesn't appear to be... you know, alive. Let's stick to the format here. How about some recon photos?

Bentley: You're right. We need to be informed to create a plan of action. Try to get a shot of Clockwerk's head, a mech egg and one of those spinning magnetic inducers. They seem important to the process, but stay away from the guards. If you get detected, we won't have time for a second chance.

[after taking 2 separate photos of Arpeggio and Neyla]

Bentley: I don't need to study those photos to see the writing on the wall. Clearly, Neyla and Arpeggio have conspired together to rebuild Clockwerk, and it looks like their dangerously close to realizing their goal.

Sly: Look, Bentley. I know it's not your style, but I need a quick plan of attack. Try to think of a way, any way, to stop Clockwerk from getting reassembled.

Bentley: Well… those magnetic inducers seem to be holding the parts together. If you reversed their polarity, it should pull Clockwerk apart. Unfortunately, the inducer speed control station is locked down tight. Pickpocket keys from the 4 patrolling guards to get at it, then you'll need to manually reverse the polarity of each inducer deck at the top of their rotation.

Sly: Consider it done.

Arpeggio: What's all this then? The magnets have been reversed, but... By Jove, it seems to have locked the Clockwerk parts into place! Excellent!

Neyla: Sly Cooper, of course, this'd be your doing?

Arpeggio: Ah, Mr. Cooper. No doubt you believed a reversal would pull the old bird apart, eh? But it seems to have the opposite effect. I'm truly. When fully powered up, I'll join myself to its circuits and be born anew.

Sly: All this because you can't fly. You're pathetic.

Arpeggio: Immortality. Immortality is what I seek. The other Klaww Gang members were much too short-sighted. They were happy using the Clockwerk parts on drive their various trivial schemes, but not me. No, I saw them for what they truly were - the keys to life eternal.

Sly: So… what? You had Neyla put me on the scent back in Cairo, and then waited while I stole the parts from the other Klaww Gang members. [to Neyla] All the while not arousing any suspicion that you were behind it all?

Neyla: You make it sound easy, Cooper. I had to carry your pathetic gang through that first set of heists. I was overjoyed when Arpeggio let me toss you in jail. I could finally go after the parts by myself.

Arpeggio: Ah, but acquiring all the parts was only half the equation. Think, Cooper. What kept Clockwerk alive for thousands of years?

Sly Cooper: He (said he) was fueled by his hatred for my family.

Arpeggio: Splendid, that's right! Hatred! Putting his gears and wires together was child's play compared with accumulating that much hatred.

Sly: You can't make people hate. (Can you?)

Arpeggio: Oh, my poor naive boy. My meticulous mind has found a way. As your hippopotamus friend will attest, spice consumption makes you both angry and susceptible to hypnosis. The Contessa, hypnotist extraordinaire, devised a way to command people through the use of flashing lights. I've created this blimp to be a massive transmitter of those precise light frequencies. The only problem I faced was finding a suitable source of light waves.

Sly: ("Light waves"? Wait a minute…) The Northern Lights! (Of course!) You've been collecting Northern Light Energy, so you could hypnotize everyone beneath the blimp.

Arpeggio: Ahh, hypnotize those who'd eaten food covered in illegal spice. Thank goodness for Dimitri. Through his nightclub(, before it was shut down and he got arrested), he got the whole city to consume the spice.

Sly Cooper: You're going to Paris to unleash a hypnotic light show of hate. That's outlandishly cruel.

Arpeggio: Cruel, perhaps, but necessary to give Clockwerk his spark of immortality. Ah, well. My new body awaits me. Be a dear, Neyla and keep him covered. Ta-ta!

Neyla: Stupid Arpeggio! I double crossed the Cooper Gang, Interpol, and Carmelita. What made you think I wouldn't do the same to you? [enters Clockwerk]

Arpeggio: This is preposterous. You're my protege not the next candidate for my immortality. I demand you exit the Clockwerk frame or... or… (Uh, oh. Mommy…!)

[Neyla kills Arpeggio and his monocle lands next to Sly's feet]

Neyla: Behold, Clock-La is born!

[Clock-La flies out the window]

Bentley: As we all know, things are looking grim. Neyla has joined herself to the Clockwerk frame and the union has produced... Clock-La. She's out and free to terrorize the world. This blimp is still in motion to Paris. I can only assume Arpeggio's autopilot will activate the hate hypnosis light show. If that happens, there'll be no stopping Clock-La. She'll be immortal, but we still have a chance. In her new form, she'll need to draw a lot of energy from this blimp's engines to stay strong. If we can disable the engines, that should be enough to weaken her to a state in which we can attack. Getting at these engines will require all 3 of us to work together in perfect harmony. We've pulled off some tough jobs in the past, but they were just a warm up job for what we'll be going through tonight.

[Sly + Bentley Conspire mission]

Bentley: To disable that engine room. you and I are going to have to work together.

Sly: Happy to have you along Bentley. What do you need me to do?

Bentley: Pickpocket the guard's keys to the engine room. Once you've got the door open I'll take over.

Sly: Okay, you should take your position. It's not going to take me long to lighten these guys of their keys.

[after Sly got all 5 keys]

Bentley: Okay, Sly. I'm waiting by the engine room door.

[later after Sly unlocks the door for Bentley]

Sly: Okay, Bentley, you're on.

[Bentley heads inside the engine room.]

Murray: Hey, Bentley, I'm looking at these blueprints and I think you've got to shoot out all the bulbs with your dart gun to get up to the second level. Here's the hard part: once you shoot a bulb you'll need to then take out the bulb the electricity is going to. If you miss and break the wrong bulb, there'll be a big power surge and KERBLAM!

[Bentley + Murray Team Up mission]

Bentley: That's one of the engines that needs to be disabled. I won't lie to you Murray... this is going to be a tough job that requires both our skills.

Murray: My skills? Okay, Bentley, if you say so.

Bentley: First, I'll need to hack the stations controlling access to the engine room. Then, Murray, you'll need to head inside and use your muscle to finish the job.

Murray: "The Murray" will be ready to go.

[after Bentley hacked the final computer later]

Bentley: Make way for "The Murray"!

[(The) Murray heads inside the engine room.]

Sly: Hey pal. Looks like you'll need to lift all those giant cylinders. Once they're locked in the up position, you'll be able to take them out from the top level.

[Murray + Sly Tag Team mission]

Sly: Murray, it looks like I'm going to need some help getting into that engine room.

Murray: Happy to help.

Sly: Bentley tells me that the door to that room is locked down by wall mounted power stations located throughout this blimp. I'll need you to take out all of the power stations and then pry open the door by hand.

Murray: No sweat, Sly.

[after Murray destroying all 5 power stations later]

Sly: Looks like the power locks are offline. Come on back and pry it open for me.

Murray: [after prying open the door for Sly] Your turn, buddy.

[Sly heads inside the engine room.]

Bentley: Careful, Sly. This place is packed with laser security. First, you'll need to make your way to the far end of this room, then jump up to the second level to get at the engine room control center.

Bentley: This engine room is locked down tight. Since we can't get in, I figure we'll have to destroy it from the outside.

Sly: I hope you're carrying some heavy explosives, Bentley, because that engine isn't small.

Bentley: It just so happens that there's a ready supply of explosives already available on the blimp. Walk one of these TNT barrels up to that engine room to destroy it.

Sly: Sounds easy enough. What's the catch?

Bentley: The initial payload in that TNT barrel won't be powerful enough to do the job. If you pick up 3 magnetic chargers, you should achieve the necessary blast force to destroy the engine. It's simple, really. Just get close to the charger and they'll automatically attach to your barrel.

Sly: Alright, let's blow stuff up!

Bentley: In an unexpected windfall, I've been contacted by Inspector Fox over the short-wave radio. She's aware of the dire situation we all face if Clock-La becomes immortal and has agreed to join forces with us, so that we can destroy the robotic bird. The only catch is that she's unable to locate this blimp on her radar. To help her hone in on our position, we'll need to boost the strength of four local radio towers. Once Inspector Fox is in range, she'll take one of us on board to act as a tail gunner in a dogfight against Clock-La. This is it. We don't have time for another plan. We're almost over Paris, and if that hate hypnosis light show goes off… well, you know the story.

Carmelita: Look, Sly. For once, let's cut the flirty chit-chat and get down to business! I need an experienced tail gunner. Jump in and grab the gun. We've got a bird to take down!

Sly: That's not "flirty chit-chat"? [after shooting down Clock-La later]

Carmelita: You should have been a cop! That was some terrific shooting!

Bentley: Sly, Sly! We've got a serious problem here. Clock-La is looking mighty upset and I think she's going to take it out on us.

Neyla/Clock-La: You want a piece of me? Don't worry, there's plenty to go around.

Sly: You might have a new body, Neyla, but you're still the same low-down backstabbing coward we've beaten time and time again! This won't be any different.

Clock-La/Neyla: Be brave while you can, Cooper! I might not have the immortality born of pure hate, but I feel something... some power growing within me.

Sly: We... we did it!

Murray: Right on!

Bentley: It's an emotional moment.

Clock-La: Die, insects, DIE! My hate will smash you!

Sly: Watch out! That thing's still kicking!

Bentley: Clock-La mentioned something about a hate chip. It sounded like the source of her power.

Sly: If we remove it, she might stop attacking.

Murray: Then let's do a little open head surgery. I'll pry open the beak, so that Bentley can go to town with his bombs.

Bentley: Let's get out of here. She's about to explode! [gets crushed by Clock-La's beak] Argh! My glasses!

Murray: Whuh? Bentley! I'll save you!

Bentley: Pick me up. I can't walk.

Murray: Come on, Sly! Let's get out of here!

[Clock-La explodes]

Sly: [narrating] ...And there we were, at the end of the road. The Klaww Gang had been defeated and the Clockwerk parts lay scattered around in heaps. Yet, despite the explosion, they remained pristine. It was as if nothing could ever hurt them. Carmelita cursed herself for showing up too late to get a few shots in on Clock-La. So, she took it out on what was close at hand - the Hate Chip… and just like that, it was over. Without that core piece, that essential center of Clockwerk, there was nothing left. The parts aged before our eyes, as if time had finally caught up with the ancient bird. How ironic that Carmelita, a police officer, would be the one to lift the curse from the Cooper family. The menace of Clockwerk would never again rise to threaten me, or my children. True to her nature, she informed us that we were all under arrest, but one look at my gang told me that we were in no shape for a fast getaway, so I offered to go peacefully in exchange for letting my friends walk. They'd taken some bruises through all of this, but I was surprised, shocked really, to see them leave their gear behind as they walked away. Their wounds were deeper than I'd imagined. Those guys were hurting. Carmelita's old police unit soon arrived. With me in custody, her name was cleared and she even got a well deserved promotion. It was the least I could do. The ride to HQ started with us sitting in silence, trying to read each other's thoughts. As the reality of my capture started to sink in, she began to relax, and we got to talking. We spoke freely about our previous adventures, comparing notes and even getting in a few laughs. Then we started talking about, well, everything - books, music, art… It was like we were on a first date. She even showed me the bottle she'd been saving for the special occasion of my arrest. My heart sank when she realized that our short flight across town had already taken 2 hours, a fact I'd kinda clued into after seeing the Eiffel Tower float by 17 times. She went forward to ask the pilot what was up, and it looked like my pals had left me a little going away present before taking off. Floating away on the night breeze, I could faintly make out Carmelita's voice.

Carmelita: I'll find you, Cooper! I'll be seeing you soon… ringtail.

Cast

Kevin Miller as Sly Cooper
Matt Olsen as Bentley
Chris Murphy as Murray
Alesia Glidewell as Carmelita Fox and Neyla
David Scully as Dimitri Lousteau and Rajan
Ross Douglas as Jean Bison
Gloria Manon as the Contessa
Sam A. Mowry as Arpeggio

External Links

Wikipedia

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Sly 2: Band of Thieves