Silent Witness

Silent Witness (1996–current) is a BBC series centered around a team of forensic pathologists. The series originally starred Amanda Burton as professor Sam Ryan. The current cast includes Emilia Fox as Dr. Nikki Alexander, David Caves as Jack Hodgson Liz Carr as Clarissa Mullery, and Richard Lintern as Dr. Thomas Chamberlain

Terminus [10.3 & 10.4]

Harry: So did you two decide what we were gonna do?

Nikki: Not really. [to Leo] Did we?

Harry: Film? [Everyone shakes heads] We may as well go home.

Leo: I've got a deck of cards.

Nikki: I've got a bottle of wine in my desk.

Leo: Funnily enough I've got a bottle of wine in my desk.

Harry: Why haven't I got a bottle of wine in my desk?

Nikki: You just quietly swig ethanol from the specimen jars don't you?

Leo: So...what's it to be?

Harry: Poker? You know why poker is called poker? (to Nikki)

[Harry pokes Nikki in ribs]

Nikki: Have you ever played a game called punch in the face?

Leo: A lot of people want to play that game with Harry.

Body of Work [10.5 & 10.6]

Harry: For the 50th time you are sitting at my desk.

Nikki: Does it matter?

Harry: Yes it does. Stand up. Stand here. Take five paces back. Take two steps to your left. Sit down and familiarise yourself with the foul detritus that is your workspace.

Harry: Shall we find a pub?

Nikki: Yes.

Harry: Unless you want to hear Dr Havillard on learning to love the liver?

Nikki: No.

Harry: I could never learn to love the liver again.

Nikki: Why?

Harry: Because it treated me so badly

Harry: Shall we find a pub?

Nikki: Yes.

Harry: Unless you want to hear Dr Havilard on learning to love the liver?

Nikki: No.

Harry: I could never learn to love the liver again.

Nikki: Why?

Harry: Because it treated me so badly

Nikki: And all that stuff about a monogamous commitment to our profession. I mean it's so depressing.

Harry: She's gonna say that isn't she. She's a prune with no children and no friends and little obvious social life.

Nikki: Like me?

Harry: What?

Nikki: Well it is like me. I'm thirty, single, boringly diligent, off-puttingly committed to my work. I am going to be a prune.

Harry: Shut up.

Nikki: It's true. I'm going to wither on the vine.

Harry: I think that would make you a raisin wouldn't it?

Nikki: Raisin or prune it's not exactly what a girl dreams of when she's growing up.

Harry: I'm sure you'll be snapped up by some rich and handsome dried fruit seller.

Nikki: Exactly. The only man I'll ever find is some loner with a fetish for shrivelled produce.

Harry: Oh shut up.

Nikki: I'll end up stiff and cold like some badly wigged mannequin in a scary local museum. Someone will show me as an exhibit. This is Dr Alexander our 92 year old pathologist. Remarkably Dr Alexander is now completely desiccated apart from the tiny muscles which operate her rusty scalpel.

(Harry kisses Nikki)

Harry: Now she shuts up.

Harry: Morning. Sleep well?

Nikki: Like a baby.

Harry: Some babies don't sleep.

Nikki: This one did.

Cargo [10.1 & 10.2]

Harry: How are you feeling?

Nikki: I told you. I feel fine. I haven't broken out in boils or anything.

Harry: Haven't you?

Nikki: Shouldn't you be at a crime scene?

Harry: Probably.

Nikki: Then why aren't you?

Harry: Because I'm here with you. Boil face.

Harry: (to Nikki) You didn't sleep here last night did you? Please don't. You've got a perfectly good bed at home.....Or so everybody says.

Schism [10.10]

Harry: What are you doing here?

Nikki: Why exactly has he got us out of bed at this time?

Harry: Because he 'is' Bob Mumford.

Nikki: You won't mind if I leave you to renew your beautiful working rapport then?

Harry: You might as well see the body.

Nikki: Do you need a second opinion?

Harry: Yeah I do. It may be a complex case and I may need back up.

Nikki: Alright. You start. Can I borrow your phone charger?

Harry: Borrow the phone charger, have the stereo, widdle on the front seat if you like. Just please don't leave me alone with that man.

Nikki: It just upsets me that the only way I discover this is by reading a letter in your car.

Harry: That's such a girl's remark. So suddenly this is something I've done wrong.

Nikki: Have you told Leo?

Harry: Yeah as it happens.

Nikki: You've told Leo?

Harry: Earlier this morning...

Nikki: Well you saw me first thing this morning. Why didn't you tell me?

Harry: Cause I wasn't sure how you'd react.

Nikki: Well what did you think Harry. That I'd crawl around the science room wailing please don't go? How pathetic do you think I am?

Harry: This is exactly the kind of thing that makes me want to....

Nikki: Exactly the kind of thing that makes you want to what?

Harry: To have a job where I can just sit and work and think and not have to deal with diplomacy and office politics and idiots like Mumford yacking in my ear!

Nikki: Oh I'm very sorry for being a yacking idiot!

Harry: That is unfair. You know I did not mean you.

Nikki: No no no. Please. Go to America and have a lovely time in some comfortable, silent little room and lets hope that no one annoys you or even talks to you.

Series 11

Apocalypse [11.01]

Nikki: Harry. I need you.

Harry: How I have longed to hear those words.

Nikki: Have you ever had mumps?

Harry: Shall I just fill out a questionnaire or something?

Nikki: Well you ask me something then.

Harry: No!

Nikki: I didn't know you were a petrol head?

Harry: I'm not a petrol head. I like cars, but it takes afterburners to really turn me on.

Nikki: Ah...so you're an airhead.

Harry: I grew up wanting to fly.

Nikki: So why didn't you? Peter pan never meet his Tinkerbell?

Harry: I was diagnosed with atrial septal defect as a baby.

Nikki: I never knew that.

Harry: Stuff she doesn't know. Well well.

Nikki: A heart murmur stopped you flying?

Harry: Stopped me doing lots of things. Started a few as well. Made me very interested in hearts.

Nikki: Oh. I'm flattered.

Harry: By what?

Nikki: You choosing to share your fantasies with me.

Harry: (gives Nikki a look)

Nikki: Your unfulfilled flying fantasies.

Harry: I've got music.

Nikki: [looks at CDs in car] Hmm... no you don't

Suffer the Children [11.03]

Leo: What do you know about Kindoki?

Harry: ...It's a type of puzzle?

Hippocratic Oath [11.05 & 11.06]

Nikki: I'm still gonna ask her about it.

Harry: No you're not.

Nikki: I am.

Harry: I'm telling you you're not.

Nikki: Oh you're telling me are you?

Harry: You are looking into the Ellie Harris case. This is something completely different. It will cause conflict of interest. Plus, you don't like each other so you wouldn't get anything out of her anyway.

Nikki: And she'll like you?

Harry: It's not beyond the boundaries of plausibility is it?

Nikki: Are you going to enchant her with your special magic?

Harry: It has been known. Now go away....go.

Double Dare [11.07 & 11.08]

Nikki: My past seems to be rapidly catching up with me.

Harry: That's because you're slow.

Peripheral Vision [11.09 & 11.10]

Nikki: (pulls rope around Harry's neck)

Harry: Oww!

Nikki: I think you like it really.

Harry: Woah (as car suddenly stops)

Nikki: Sorry.

Harry: Oh no. I love the feel of whiplash in the morning.

Nikki: What happened? Have you been put on something else?

Harry: Apparently.

Nikki: Oh well. Enjoy.

Harry: (in mocking tone) Oh what a shame. I thought it would've been fun to do the bone finding thing together.

Harry: Sadly he is now at one with the subsoil of the kingslin motorcross track. So I will now never know whether or not he gave her variant CJD.

Nikki: So...in other words, you might be free for the next 3 or 4 hours?

Nikki: Her name's Morona Hearne. She's Floria's mother and she's being treated for psychotic episodes relating to bipolar.

Harry: How do you know? And why am I carrying your bag?

Series 12

Safe [12.01 & 12.02]

Harry: Leo? Do you know where Leo is?

Nikki: Is he not in his office?

Harry: Oh yes. His office. Let me check again for the second time. No, still not there.

Nikki: Maybe he's in a hotel with his lover.

Harry: Which one?

Nikki: Which hotel or which lover?

Harry: Never mind.

Harry: Bet he's good in bed as well. It's really quite unfair.

Leo: She's a colleague. This is an inappropriate conversation.

Harry: Totally agree. Why you talking about it?

Harry: You did make him pay for the first date didn't you?

Nikki: Was I meant to?

Harry: Yes! And you know...you're not going to...offer up the goodies too soon?

Nikki: What goodies?

Harry: Oh God, I'm too late, aren't I?

Death's Door [12.03 & 12.04]

Harry: Only me. She's gone home.

Nikki: But I thought I sensed romance,

Harry: There is romance.

Nikki: But she's a student. That's illegal.

Harry: Leo.

Nikki: You and Leo?

Harry: Leo and Janet.

Harry: Are we all ready?

Nikki: Within reason

Harry: She questions my taste.

Harry: You could back me up

Nikki: That's rarely any fun

Harry: You identifying with her or something? Is this some kind of girl thing?

Nikki: I wonder who put the 'men' in mentor?

Harry: Perhaps whoever put the 'you' in pain in the neck.

Leo: You are proposing to give a lecture to a room full of students wearing that? (the pumpkin scrubs)

Harry: Yeah.

Leo: Excellent.

Harry: I don't need the flattery of my students thanks.

Nikki: Just because you've never dissected a flattery gland, doesn't mean you haven't got one.

Leo: [about the pumpkin scrubs] And that's where you got that?

Harry: Yeah. Should've worn them to the dinner. Would have camouflaged the spill from Nikki's Piña Colada.

Nikki: It was a tiny splash.

Harry: It wasn't the size, it was the location.

Terror [12.05 & 12.05]

Nikki: Well I think you did an amazing job. The proverbial needle in a hay stack.

Harry: Proverbial bomb in a hay stack more like.

Nikki: Better not say that too loudly. Bomb. I was told that if you said certain key words more than five times, MI5 would come down and swoop on you.

Harry: What? You think we're being bugged do you?

Nikki: Well how else did they know that I was taking my laptop home?

Harry: Eh...bicycle, tricycle, icicle....bomb, bum, does my bomb look big in this?

Nikki: (giggling in hysterics)

Leo: What's so funny?

Nikki: Shhh

Harry: Walls have ears.

Leo: Have you started without me?

Nikki: Oh...just what i need. A drink.

Harry: Oh we're going for a drink now.

Nikki: Leo said that he was gonna take us for a slap up meal.

Harry: Oh good call Leo. eh...its now dinner.

Leo: I did not say that I would pay for it.

Harry: Eh dinner somewhere very expensive. See you there.

Judgement [12.07 & 12.08]

Nikki: Harry! There's more bacteria in a human bite than a human rectum.

Harry: Oh really. Didn't have time to find out sadly

Harry: Perhaps you'd prefer it if I retrained as a paramedic?

Nikki: Perhaps you'd prefer it if I retrained as one of your adoring 25 year olds?

Harry: It's a bit late for that isn't it?

Harry: Fracture to the right cheek, fracture to the left cheek and fracture to the right temple. That would indicate something more like....crushing.

Nikki: Excuse me. (trying to get past Harry)

Harry: Oh I'm sorry. Just trying to make medical history. Didn't see you there.

Harry: Any ideas what that is yet?

Nikki: Well, from the lack of sweat I don't think he'd been wearing it long. But it is heavily damaged. I don't know. Could just be a piece of teenage paraphernalia. I used to wear this sort of thing all the time.

Harry: You used to wear 25 bangles and rainbow legwarmers....shall we check him for those as well?

Harry: (after Nikki turns up at his door) Didn't I order you for 12?

Nikki: (giggles and hugs Harry)

Nikki: So, what have you been up to?

Harry: Well, I've been offered a role as a special peace envoy, and I've also been told that I may be shot into deep space to continue with our research.

The Lost Child [12.09 & 12.10]

Harry: Are you ok?

Nikki: Why does everyone keep asking me that?

Harry: I never usually ask you that and mean it. As embarrassing as it is, we are good friends aren't we? besides the jokes?

Nikki: Very silly jokes.

Harry: Actually they're really rather brilliant jokes but you know, you can talk to me. I'm usually pretty good in a crisis aren't I?

Nikki: Is that what this is?

Harry: He shaves.

Nikki: So do you sometimes.

Harry: It's not from his chin Nikki.

[Nikki looks shocked]

Harry: Perhaps you should get out more?

Nikki: Perhaps you should stay in more.

Finding Rachel [12.11 & 12.12]

Harry: [about Leo] He said he's never seen an elephant before.

Nikki: [As Leo takes a photo of some zebras] Have you told him they're not elephants?

Series 13

Intent [13.01]

Harry: Prudent.

Nikki: Prudent?

Harry: Yes, prudent.

Nikki: [giggles] I haven't heard that word in years.

Harry: Does that tell us something about the word, or you?

Harry: Hello hello.

Nikki: Don't get any ideas.

Harry: What do you mean 'don't get any ideas'? I'm just passing by.

Nikki: I saw the way you looked at her.

Harry: Well, just a little idea. The world would be a very dull place without little ideas. Can't help it. Involuntary response.

Nikki: Involuntary?

Harry: Oh all right, all right, maybe there is a little tiny degree of volition... but there's a strong, uncontrollable 'thing' over there and if there wasn't there wouldn't be any... poetry.

Nikki: [laughs] No poetry?

Harry: Yeah, love, poetry, art, bad song lyrics.

Nikki: You walk by an open door, see a good looking girl, have a lascivious thought and somehow you've turned it into love, poetry and art.

Harry: It's an extraordinary talent.

Nikki: Is it a phase you're going through?

Harry: No. Do remember Leo normally being so very interested in calcification? I don't think so. She is good looking hence her enthusiasm. Doesn't matter how old the dog is-

Nikki: What?

Harry: He still wants his bone.

[Nikki giggles]

Leo: [to Harry] You are brilliant.

Nikki: Oh don't say things like that. They go straight to his head.

[Harry flicks Nikki's nose]

Shadows [13.07 & 13.08]

Neil: What's the point of giving you my name? No one will remember me anyway.

Nikki: I need to know what name to put on your toe tag.

Man over radio: We've got a KAD in attendance.

Leo: What's that?

Policeman: Sorry. 'Know it all doctor'.

Leo: [to Nikki] Well at least we know Harry's alright.

Nikki: [on phone to Leo] Call me as soon as you hear from KAD. Tell him if he wants to come round I'll make him his favourite cup-a-soup.

Charlie: Which one of you is the least knackered?

Harry: Bollocks!

[Nikki giggles]

Charlie: Don't worry. You don't have to go far. It's only on the other side of the Percival building.

[Nikki still giggles]

Harry: I don't know what you're smiling about. I have had 7 cups of coffee so you are my designated thermometer.

Nikki: Oh no.

Policeman: Dr Alexander?

Nikki: Leave me alone. Please... [under her breath] just piss off .

Harry: If you met your 19 year old self now, do you think they would shake you politely by the hand or punch you unexpectedly in the face?

Nikki: In my case probably both.

Harry: Found a photo the other day inside a book. People sitting on a beach, drinking, having fun. Took me a minute to realise one of them was me.

Nikki: What were you wearing?

Harry: Nothing!

[Nikki giggles]

voild

Nikki: You're not thinking of retiring?

Leo: No!...How old do you think I am?

Harry: There's so much I want out of life but half the time I'm not sure how to get it.

Nikki: You don't get off the hook 'that' easily.

Harry: Funny who you meet isn't it? who you collide with.

Nikki: You try and steer clear.

Harry: How's that working out for you?

Nikki: Anton used to be a Scorpion.

Harry: And now he's cured?

[after making a coin disappear as a magic trick]

Harry: [picking up his glass of wine] And now I will make this disappear.

Nikki: Harry I....

Harry: I missed you.

[They hug]

Nikki: What did you miss about me?

Harry: Oh you know.....everything.

Nikki: Everything??

Harry: Even your cast iron, pig headed stubbornness. I'm sorry.

Nikki: Ditto.

Harry: Doesn't count.

Nikki: Ok.... I'm really, really sorry.

Harry: I used to worship him cause I'd be the one kid there and he was the only adult there who'd laugh at my jokes.

Nikki: He must've been 'very' generous.

Harry: Thank you.

Nikki: Harry. I'll tell you this... if I'm ever in trouble, if I'm ever upset, if I ever need a film plot explained to me, the first person I call is you.

Harry: If your children ever turn into you, they'll be very lucky.

Harry: Could've cleaned his hands.

Nikki: That would definitely be top of my list if I were about to kill myself. Make sure my hands were clean.

Harry: Not your knickers?

[Nikki giggles]

Series 14

Series 15

Nikki: Where's that piece of wire?

Harry: What you gonna do?...try and make contact

Harry: And now I suppose you're gonna want to see my PM report?

Nikki: If that's OK.

Harry: If that's OK? It's my legal obligation. I have to show you mine, you don't have to show me yours. Twas ever thus.

Harry: Luckily I am nothing if not mature and magnanimous. Of course none of this would have happened if I'd told you to sod off when I had the chance.

Nikki: You mean if you didn't love my company so much?

Harry: No. I definitely mean if I'd told you to sod off when I had the chance.

Series 16

Change [16.01]

Jack: Pathologist?

Nikki: Forensics?

Jack: Victim.

Jack: How do you know about boxing?

Nikki: Postmortems.

Jack: Now that is sexy.

Series 17

Fraternity [17.09]

Jack: Pizza. You’ve found my weakness.

Series 18

Series 19

Series 20

Identity [20.01]

Nikki: Could you tell the doctor that she’s fractured the left orbital rim and possibly the anterior maxillary wall and the radius and ulna are fractured in her left arm.

Nurse: Of course, Dr Google.

Awakening [20.5]

Jack: I promise you, when the time comes, and you and I, Clarissa and Thomas are sitting in adjoining armchairs in the Sunnyview Nursing Home TV room and I look down and your custard cream lies, un-nibbled, in your cold dead hand… [Nikki laughs] … I will burn you. I promise.

Series 21

Moment of Surrender [21.01]

Nikki: Jack… That’s nuts. You’re here. I’m here. We made it. You saved the lives of…

Jack: Please stop.

Nikki: Jack, you’ve got nothing to prove. Nothing.

[Nikki steps down some steps, becoming close to Jack, they look like they’re about to kiss]

David: Get a room!

A Special Relationship [21.03]

Nikki: I’m going to tell you something, OK? When you were missing, I made a promise.

Matt: What Kind of Promise?

Nikki: If I’m going to carry on working like I do, then… You see… something happened to me in Mexico. It was tough. It’s taken time to get through. But it’s really tough, in a different way, when it’s happening to someone that you’re close to. And I want good things in my life. As many good things as I can find. And… I think I do want to share all that with someone.

Matt: Age determination using bone structures of the skull.

Nikki: You read my research paper?

Matt: No. I’m more of a John Grisham guy myself… I just googled you.

Nikki: Oh right…

Series 22

Two Spirits [22.01]

Jack: Do you think Nikki will want Thomas's job?

Clarissa: She's always said no. I'll do it.

Jack: [Whispering] We'll both do it!

Clarissa: [Whispering] No, just me.

Lift up Your Hearts [22.02]

Nikki: Is that a P?

Thomas: Yeah. A… T, that looks like a Z.

Clarissa: Oh, uh, Partizani. FK Partizani. Tirana.

Jack: Albania.

Thomas: He's Albanian?

Nikki: He might not be Albanian. He might simply support an Albanian team.

[They all laugh at Nikki]

Jack: Why would you do that?

Jack: Clarissa!

Clarissa: You're Alive?

Jack: Yeah. Of course I’m alive. In Hospital. If I wasn’t alive, I’d be, you know, at work.

Clarissa: You're okay?

Jack: Yeah. Walked into a knife. Not smart.

Clarissa: Thank God you're okay.

External links

Wikipedia

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Silent Witness