Shirley Conran

Dame Shirley Ida Conran DBE (née Pearce; 21 September 1932 – 9 May 2024) was a British novelist and journalist.

Quotes

I came back from a visit to my mother in Canada to find a note on the mantelpiece from Kevin [O'Sullivan]. It said: "By the time you read this I will be in Moscow. My wedding ring is in the waste-paper basket where it belongs." Kevin didn't divorce me, he deserted me. We divorced by mutual consent.
- As cited in "The Revengers' Comedy", The Independent (23 March 1998)
- Kevin O'Sullivan (Conran's third husband), by then married to biographer Victoria Glendinning, was the subject of public disagreements between the two women.

[On her dislike of Christmas cards: M]y self-esteem isn't based on how many shepherds and robins I've got perched on the sideboard.
- Interviewed by Judith Woods, as cited in "Shirley Conran: 'Never, ever give scented candles as a present'", The Telegraph (3 December 2007)

Fifty Shades of Grey is so infantile [...] More like baby porn. You have to wait until page 200 for any sex at all. She doesn’t get her bottom spanked until page 400. The writing is jerky: it needed a good edit.
[On her marriage to (Sir) Terence Conran in 1955] It was just criticise, criticise, criticise, from morning to night. It was very wearing. I said at one point, "What I don’t understand is why you want me to stay." He had a good think and then said, "Because you are a very valuable business asset, because you make me laugh and because I got used to you, like my old school rug." What I wanted him to say, of course, was, "I love you." So I walked out.
- Interviewed by Janice Turner, as cited in "Shirley Conran: bonkbusters, mummy porn and housework", The Times (14 July 2012)

Canongate have been wonderful. They've allowed me to write the word 'masturbation' back into the copy. When Lace was first published, Michael Korda [the publishing giant who was Conran's editor] said the world wasn't ready for it. We had to use a polite euphemism. But now we have the verb.
[On her divorce from (Sir) Terence Conran in 1962] I was 30. My mother said, "Well, perhaps it's as well your father's dead because otherwise you couldn't have got divorced." I gave her an astounded look, but that's how it was then.
[On being motivated to leave the marriage] I went to St Paul's [the independent school in west London]. That was very important. The mistresses were all unmarried – their fiancees had all died on the Somme – and they were quietly subversive. Paulinas are known for having their own views. It would be very difficult for a Paulina not to expect equality in marriage. So when you get married, and find it's not so, it's a shock.
- From an interview with Rachel Cooke, as cited in "Shirley Conran: all hail the queen of the bonkbuster", The Observer (London, 29 July 2012)
- Lace, Conran's bestselling novel, was first published in 1982. Her father was a violent alcoholic.

[The anonymous (male) interviewer recently read Lace with pleasure] Oh really? My ex-husband paid his lawyer to read it, to check whether there was anything to sue me about. A lovely job for £250 an hour. ["Did he find anything?"] Well Terence didn’t sue me [...] But I don’t think his lawyer did a very good job.
[On turning down a fourth marriage at the age of 80] He might want to watch football on a Saturday afternoon. I might not be able to eat baked beans in bed at 3am if I want to.
- As cited in "Interview: Shirley Conran, writer", The Scotsman (29 July 2012)

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Shirley Conran