2003 action comedy film
- Roy: [as it starts raining] Oh, this country blows.
- Doyle: I think you gentlemen should accompany me back to the Yard.
[cut to Roy and Chon in a cell at Scotland Yard]
- Roy: This isn't a yard! It's a JAIL!
[Lin slaps Chon Wang]
- Chon Wang: I just saved you!
- Chon Lin: You were late!
- Roy: Guys, do whatever you want to the kid, but that's my watch you're holding.
- Fagin #1: Well, there's a load of us, and only two of you, so piss off!
- Roy: Easy, fellas, you lost one war this way, don't make the same mistake twice.
[why Chon should sleep with the woman for money]
- Roy: Think about your sister in London.
- Chon Wang: What?
- Roy: That's a terrible for a detective. Sherlock Holmes?
- Chon Wang: It's a puzzle box. I don't know how to open it.
- Roy: What do you mean, you don't know how to open it? You just get a hammer and smash it open so you can see what it says.
- Chon Wang: No. I must have patience. By the time I'm able to open it, I will be ready to read the message.
- Roy: Oh, come on, Confucius, that's the corniest thing I've ever heard!
- Roy: Hey, Rathbone! I was just thinking of a title for my new book. "Roy O'Brannon vs. Little Lord Sissy." Or how about "Roy O'Brannon versus the Man who would be Queen?"
- Roy: I call that my kung pow chicken.
- Roy: [in London] Hey, I'm walking here! You're driving on the wrong side of the road! Bunch of amateurs, these people don't get it!
- Chong Wang: Who loves you, baby?
- Roy: I'm gettin' ready to launch a little thing called operation sweep her off her feet.
- Roy: [to Chon Lin] You have a GREAT body. There! I said it! It's out in the open!
- Chon Wang: You know what I call him? Not Roy O'Bannon. Roy O'Baloney!
- Roy: Ooooh... You think you're so cool with your karate... and your child-like reflexes!
- Roy: Look at you!
- Chon Wang: Look at you!
- Roy: What brings you to New York?
- Chon Wang: My share of the gold.
- Roy: Refresh my memory. What gold are we talking about?
- Chon Wang: We are wasting time.
- Roy: What do you think I've been doing? Sittin' here and drinking expensive hooch?
- Roy: Boy, refill.
- Chon Wang: I look like a fool.
- Roy: What? You're a Maharajah! That's Indian royalty!
- Chon Wang: But I'm Chinese.
- Roy: It's the same thing.
- Roy: So what did your dad do? Was he an imperial guard?
- Chong Wang: No, much more important. He was the Keeper of the Imperial Seal.
- Roy: That's what I love about China. Everybody's job description sounds so damn cool!
- Roy: And just to set the record straight... Roy O'Brannon is not attracted to loose women; loose women are attracted to me.
- Roy: I see a lot of myself in that kid. It's kinda freakin' me out.
- Chon Wang: Wu Chow!
- Roy: Wu who?
- [after Lord Rathbone has explained his plan to become King of England]
- Roy: Woah, woah, you're like twentieth in line for the throne.
- Rathbone: [annoyed] Tenth. But I'll soon be taking care of that...by process of elimination.
- Roy: I'm guessing by your hasty retreat that you're still twentieth in line for the throne.
- Rathbone: TENTH!
- Roy: I'm a 30 year old waiter/gigolo. Where's the future in that?
- Chon Wang: For father.
- Chon Lin: For father.
- Roy: For Old Man Wang.
- Roy: Hey, Chon, you're lucky I didn't invest in that ridiculous "auto-mobile" idea. Yeah, that's gonna make a lot of money.
- Chon Wang: If you break her heart, I break your legs.
- Roy: That's fair.
- Jackie Chan as Chon Wang (stand-in by Vladimir Chaloupka)
- Owen Wilson as Roy O'Brannon (doubled by Jimmy N. Roberts)
- Aaron Johnson as Charlie Chaplin
- Thomas Fisher as Artie Doyle
- Aidan Gillen as Lord Nelson Rathbone
- Fann Wong as Chon Lin
- Donnie Yen as Wu Chow
- Oliver Cotton as Jack the Ripper
- Kim Chan as Chon Wang and Chon Lin's father
- Gemma Jones as Queen Victoria
- Tom Wu as Lead Boxer Liu
- Kelly-Marie Kerr as Clara
- Ray Donn as Chinese villager (uncredited)
- Barbara Nedeljáková as Debutante
- Anna-Louise Plowman as Debutante
- Georgina Chapman as Debutante
- Daisy Beaumont as Cigarette girl
- James Embree as Street thug (uncredited)
- Mirek Lux as Man bouncing in pillow fight scene (uncredited)