See No Evil, Hear No Evil
1989 film by Arthur Hiller
See No Evil, Hear No Evil is a 1989 American comedy film about a blind man and a deaf man who work together to thwart a band of murderous thieves.
- Directed by Arthur Hiller. Written by Earl Barret, Arne Sultan, Eliot Wald, Andrew Kurtzman, and Gene Wilder.
Wally Karew
edit- You mean I'm not white?!?
- I hear prison isn't so bad if you like it up your butt.
Dave Lyons
edit- Today, I threatened to shoot a naked woman with my erection. That doesn't happen every day.
- Well excusez-moi, monsieur hot shit!
- We're in a warehouse, and you just hit a cow. I think we better back up.
- Did she say ship, or shit?
Other
edit- Captain Braddock: What's the story here, Gatlin? I got the commissioner crawling up my ass!
Dialogue
edit- Dave: Tell me the first thing that pops in your head.
- Wally: Pussy!
- Eve: Any last requests, Mr. Karue?
- Wally: I suppose a fuck is out of the question.
- Eve: I'm afraid so.
- Wally: So, you're the fat fuck who's running this show!
- Sutherland: Beautifully put, Mr. Karue. You're obviously a poet, a man after my own heart.
- Dave: And then one day, my wife turned into this remarkable creature that could sit on the end of a broomstick and take off. She could actually achieve flight.
- Wally: I think I was married to that woman once.
- Dave: Small world.
- Hotel Clerk: Dr. Kesselring, we thought you wouldn't make it, did you have trouble with your visa?
- Dave: Yes, and then suddenly they excepted American Express.
- Wally: Yes, don't go home without it.
- Captain Braddock: Okay, no more bullshit. [to Dave, talking fast] Was there or wasn't there a woman?
- Dave: Are you serious?
- Captain Braddock: Yes, I'm goddamn serious.
- Dave: Fuzzy Wuzzy was a woman?
- Captain Braddock: What the hell is he talking about?
- Wally: He reads lips. You're talking too fast.
- Captain Braddock: [to Dave, talking slowly] Was there... a wom-an... pres-ent?
- Dave: [to Captain Braddock, talking slowly] Yes. There was... a wom-an... pres-ent.
- Captain Braddock: [to Wally] Why is he talking like that?
- Wally: [to Captain Braddock, talking slowly] Because he's deaf... not stu-pid.
- Dave: You swear an awful lot.
- Wally: You're fucking-A right!
- Dave: Who are you talking to?
- Wally: I'm talking to you, you prick.
- Dave: Why don't you look me in the eye and say that?
- Wally: I would if I could but I can't, I'm blind.
- Dave: You're blind?
- Wally: Yes, I'm blind. What are you, fucking deaf?
- Dave: YES! I'M FUCKING DEAF!
- Wally: You're really deaf?
- Dave: I'm really deaf.
- Wally: Then how do you know what I'm saying?
- Dave: Because I'm reading your lips. Now you want the job or not?
- Wally: Where are we?
- Dave: Probably on our way to New Jersey by now.
- Wally: No kidding! I got family in there! Do you want to come with me?
- Dave: Of course. You've earned my trust, Wally. You've been a very good friend to me these past couple days. You're always there for me. You never get me into trouble. Sometimes it seems a bit boring but that's a small price to pay for such a wonderful friendship.
- Wally: That's beautiful, Dave. Do you mean everything you just said?
- Dave: I'll tell you how I really feel in about a minute or two. Right now, I'm a little overwhelmed by the STINK of the seven tons of garbage that you drove us into!
- Wally: Is THAT what it is? I thought you let one go! That's why I didn't say anything!
- Dave: That's very kind of you! Thank you!
- Wally: These streets are bumpy.
- Dave: You're driving on the sidewalk!
- Adele: I think David got a little messed up.
- Dave: What did she say?
- Wally: She said she thinks you're an asshole!
- [Dave doesn't hold up any fingers]
- Dave: How many fingers am I holding up in front of your eyes right now?
- Wally: Three!
- Dave: That's good. That's pretty good, considering that he's blind.
- Wally: [yelling in Dave's ear] Shazaam! Can you hear me?
- Dave: Wally! I heard you! I heard your voice!
- Wally: Hooray! You can hear me!
- Dave: What?
- Wally: You can hear me!
- Dave: [shouts] No, schmuck. I'm deaf! I'm deaf! Now do you get it?
- Dave: Fucking-A. Something bothers you, fuck it. Your wife leaves you, fuck her. Your boss fires you, fuck him. Fucking-A. Fucking them. Right?
- Wally: You're fucking right!
- Dave: It's a gift to be able to do that.
- Dave: Wally! He could put a hole through your *head*, Wally!
- Wally: *Fuck* him and his holes!
- Dr. Cornfeld: WHO are you, sir?
- Dave: [misreading Cornfeld's lips] Fine, thank you!
- Cabbie: Let me see a badge!
- Kirgo: [holds up gun] This is my badge!
- Captain Braddock: 32 years on the force, a wife and three kids and a blind guy and a deaf guy are making me look like a real asshole.
- Gatlin: You got that right.
- Captain Braddock: What?
- Gatlin: [talking into radio] Charlie over.
- Dave: [to Raoul] Stop right there or I'll throw this knife through your head! I mean it! I throw your brains out!
- Cop with Bullhorn: [to Raoul] Freeze!
- Dave: [to Raoul] That's more like it! Now put your hand up!
- Cop with Bullhorn: [to Raoul] Put your hands in the air!
- Dave: [to Raoul] Oh, so you do speak English!
- Reporter: Do you really think you can stop Khomeini?
- Dave: Not if it's funny.
- Adele: Why do you feel you have to pass for someone with 20/20 vision when you're blind as a bat?
- Wally: I don't feel. I have to pass.
- Adele: Yes, you do. It's a sickness in your brain, just like if you were trying to pass for white.
- Wally: You mean I'm not white?
Taglines
edit- One's blind. The other's deaf. The girl's a killer. And they're in it over their heads.
- The first drop dead comedy of the year.
- MURDER! The blind guy couldn't see it. The deaf guy couldn't hear it. Now they're both wanted for it.
Cast
edit- Richard Pryor – Wallace "Wally" Karew
- Gene Wilder – Dave Lyons
- Joan Severance – Eve
- Kevin Spacey – Kirgo
- Alan North – Braddock
- Anthony Zerbe – Sutherland
- Louis Giambalvo – Gatlin
- Kristen Childs – Adele