[Carter and Lee are forced to fight Ricky Tan's Triad goons but Carter accidentally hits Lee]
Carter: Sorry, man!
Lee:[Holds nose painfully] Carter!
Carter: Ah y'all look alike!
Carter: Hey, baby. James Carter, Baldwin Hills.
Isabella Molina: Isabella Molina, San Juan.
Carter: San Juan! I've been there many times on my private plane. You must know my good friend Pedro Morales Magonzales Morotto Malosso Megusto.
Isabella: No, I'm afraid not.
Carter: Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you rode in the best of circles. If you need anything, champagne, caviar, my yacht is your yacht.
Isabella: This is your yacht?
Carter: I'm the captain. El capitan.
Isabella: El capitan....
Carter Look, I'm not gonna play games with you. I want you. I can imagine me and you in one of those bathrooms in about five minutes.
Isabella: Oh, it's such a beautiful yacht. What's it name?
Carter: Its name? [Isabella nods] The S.S. Minnow Johnson.
Isabella: The S.S. Minnow Johnson? Funny. The name on the back was the Red Dragon.
Carter: The Red Dragon?
Isabella Yes. Because this is my friend's yacht. And this is his party.
Carter Your's friend yacht? Man, no wonder my key didn't work. All these yachts look all the same these days.
Steven Reign: Who's your friend?
Isabella: Someone who got on the wrong yacht.
Carter: Hey I know you, you're Steven Reign, the hotel billionaire. You must have a private plane as well. It's fun, isn't it? What are you doing out here in Hong Kong?
Reign: I'm here for the weekend, takking in the sights. [looks at Isabella] Shall we?
Isabella: [gets up to slow-dance with Reign] Enjoy the party, Mr. Carter.
Carter: I will, Miss Isabella.
Carter: Lee, let me introduce you to Carter's Theory of Criminal Investigation: follow the rich white man!
Lee: Follow the rich white man?
Carter: Exactly, now you're learning. Every big crime has a rich white man behind it waitin' for his cut. Now, in our case we know who the rich white man is. Steven Reign!
Carter: Steven Reign, the hotel billionaire, I saw him on Ricky Tan's boat. When the shootin' started he was way too cool. Now lemme tell you somethin', when people start shootin', white people ain't that cool. They either runnin' around hidin' behind tables or screaming like, "AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
Lee: You sound like that all the time!
Carter: Let me tell you something about black people: When stuff goes down, we keep our cool.
Lee: Maybe, but not like Asians. We never panic.
Carter: Yeah right when Godzilla's coming y'all be trippin'. I've seen the movie, everyone goin' "gaicka, gaicka"!
[Lee and Carter stake out Steven Reign's woman, Isabella Molina, who seems to be retiring for the night]
Carter: What's going on?
Lee: [watches as disrobes] She.... uh.... is just standing around, not doing much.
Carter: Well stay awake, something bound to happen.
Lee: I try to stay awake...this is so boring. [While watching Isabella undress, whispers] Slow down baby....
Carter: What did you say?
Lee: Huh? Uh.... I said nothing!
Carter: I heard you say something!
Lee: No, no, nothing.
Carter: [notices Lee's shifting, gets up from bed] What is going on Lee?
Lee: She's.... getting undressed!
Lee: She's getting undressed! [Carter forces Lee out of the telescope] Hey! It's.... not-
Carter: LORD, HAVE MERCY! She's taking off her skirt!
Lee: I cannot hear this! [walks away]
Carter: Black bra, black panties... Victoria's Secret spring catalogue, page 27. Girl's got class. [zooms in] She got a tattoo, that's cute. It looks like.... Snoopy.
Lee: Snoopy! I love Snoopy! [Tries to grab periscope]
Carter: Hold up, I love Snoopy too. [Isabella opens the door for a delivery woman] Wait, it looks like somebody dropping off a package. Hey, that's the same person that dropped off the package at your office.
Lee and Carter: It's a bomb! [scrambles to the suite]
[Carter and Lee hit the Vegas branch of Versace where a salesman greets them]
Salesman: Hi, nice to see you. Can I help you gentlemen?
Carter: Yeah. I'm gonna need black, 42-long, and nothing touches this body but pure silk. And get my partner something from the kid's department.
Salesman: OK, would your partner like to be wrapped in silk too? Some people think it's tacky, but I really enjoy it when couples dress alike.
Carter: No - wait a minute - no! This ain't no couples thing, man. We're police officers; we're working a very dangerous case and we need some clothes.
Lee: Yes, there are alot of men chasing us.
Salesman: As well they should be. Listen, you have nothing to worry about, OK? Because I'm going to turn you two into the belle of the ball.
Lee: Thank you.
Salesman: Absolutely. [to Carter] Let's start with you, shall we? You've got the mochachino face, beautiful skin, and the big broad shoulders, OK? Let's put a dead animal on you! Croc-skin... buttercream... buttercream... croc-skin... buttercream...What size is the waist? Let's go in! [approaches Carter with open arms]
Carter: Hey! Watch it, sweetness!
Salesman: He's got some fire to him!
Salesman: I like that!
Carter: Go get the clothes! Hurry up!
Salesman: I'll go pull some items. Oh, Jesus! Lil' Kim! I'll be back.
Carter:[Looks to Lee] You saw that?
Lee: He likes you.
Carter:[Looks at him like he's lost his mind] I'm not shoppin' with you no more.
[at the Red Dragon craps table, Carter has had enough of the harassment]
Carter: How come you ain't got no black people performing in this casino? We ain't good enough for you?
Pit Boss: We got Lionel Richie performing here tonight!
Carter: Lionel Richie ain't been black since the Commodores! How about Peaches and Herb? Gladys Knight and the Pips? Ike and Tina? They can get back together, this is crazy-
Pit Boss: Sir, please calm down.
Carter:[with hands wailing manically in the air] I ain't calming down no more! I'm sick, you people tryin' to calm me down.
[In the penthouse, Lee has a gun pointed at Ricky Tan's Head]
Carter: [just walked into the room] Oh, hey, Ricky. Lee, I see you got everything under control so I'mma go hit the buffet and....GOD DAAAMN. [just noticed Reign's body] What happened to Reign?
Ricky Tan: Would you like me to tell you how your father died? [Lee cocks the gun]
Carter: Whoa, now, Lee. He ain't worth it man. He tryin' to mess with you. Don't do it.
Ricky Tan: He never begged for his life, or tried to make a deal.
Carter: Put the gun down.
Ricky Tan: All he asked for, seconds before I pulled the trigger, was that I promised not to kill you. Oh, it was so pathetic.
Carter Aw, hell no, he done gone too far. You better shoot his ass, Lee, shoot his ASS!
Ricky Tan: What are you going to do, Lee? [Lee's face is showing hesitation]
Carter: All you gotta do is pull that trigger back and BAM!!!
Ricky Tan: Are you going to spend the rest of your life hiding like your father?
Carter: Don't let him talk about your daddy like that! Shoot him, Lee!
Ricky Tan: You can't do it, can you?
Carter: Oh, yes the hell he can! Ain't nobody up here but us!
Ricky Tan: GO ON!
Carter: If you ain't gonna shoot him, kung-fu his ass or somethin'!
[After kicking Ricky Tan out of the window]
Carter: Damn! Good kick, Lee.
Lee: It was an accident.
Carter: That's OK. We'll just say he tried to catch a cab.