Betty: (sighs) When we take the pups to the amusement park tomorrow night, let's dress them up as monsters! That way, they'll feel more scary than anything they see!
Didi: You mean, empower them by tapping into their inner monster?
Kira: Oh, I think it's a wonderful idea! Kimi can be a witch, and Chuckie can be, um... uh... a werewolf!
Chas: A werewolf? I don't know.
Stu: Come on, Chas. Frightening people is what Halloween is all about!
Didi: First I get sun-bopped like a rag doll, and fluffed with an old feather duster, then I'm told to forget I'm a wife and mother... Because I'm the Goddess Dodo! Well my name is Didi! Didi Pickles! Not a Goddess... A woman... Who loves nothing more than being a wife and mother and WANTS HER MONEY BACK!
Angelica: [about the doll] All the baby action with none of the slop!
Chuckie: Choo-choo! A funny train, too. Choo-choo!
[In the kitchen, Minka and Boris are showing Stu and Didi a guide booklet about a scenic train ride. Stu is reading the paper, and looks over nervously at Chuckie playing with his toy train]
Minka: An old-fashioned train, taking us to Little Biendeltown. It's like a dream come true. [hands the booklet to Didi]
Didi: Biendeltown? "A recreation of the Old Country with all its' whimsical charms."
Boris: Whimsical, schmimsical. It's got dust and a yak. For this I need a two-day train ride?!
Minka: What do you know? [to Didi] It's our second honeymoon! Why don't you all come with us?
Boris: Oy...
Didi: On your honeymoon?
Minka: What? I'm gonna talk to HIM for eighteen hours? [points to Boris eating his meal]
Didi: I've never been on a scenic train trip before. Think of the sights we'll see on the way! Doesn't that sound fun, Stu?
[Stu looks up from his newspaper and grins nervously. Back in the playpen, Chuckie continues playing with his toy train]
Chuckie: Choo-choo! Choo-choo, everybody!
Didi: Oh, kids! Guess what? We're going to ride on a real train! We even get to sleep on it overnight. Isn't that exciting? [walks back into the kitchen]
Tommy: Wow, a real live train!
Lil: With the wheelies and the chugga-chugga and everything!
Kimi: Yeah!
Chuckie: I'm not going.
Tommy: What do you mean, Chuckie? I thought you love trains.
Chuckie: REAL trains don't have a string to pull with. They just go all by themselves! Nothing can stop them!
Tommy: It's OK, Chuckie. A real train's just like your toy train. It just needs to be bigger-er so the grownups can play with them!
Chuckie: [picks up his toy engine] I don't know, Tommy. It's kinda scary.
Tommy: Well, we'll all be there and, um... I know! You can bring your old pal Wawa!
Chuckie: Yeah! So I won't be a-scared all by myself.
[It cuts to Drew's house. In the kitchen, Charlotte is trying to type on her laptop computer as Angelica plays with her Cynthia doll]
Drew: Charlotte, this is a family trip. Two relaxing days on a train. I want you to promise: NO business. [closes the screen on Charlotte's laptop]
Charlotte: [opens her laptop] Well, I don't see why a person ca...
Drew: [clears throat] Charlotte!
Charlotte: [annoyed] All right, fine!
Angelica: [to her Cynthia doll] You hear that, Cynthia? We're going on a train trip! Time to break out all those extra EXTRA special accessories. [leaves the kitchen with Cynthia]
[Some time later, it cuts to the city train station. A singing bird flies past. But then]
Drew: [offscreen] CHARLOTTE!
Conductor: All aboard!
[Everyone starts to board the train. Didi and Kira walk up to the babies]
Didi: Come on, kids. We're going on the train! [they walk on board]
[Angelica walks up to the train with her Cynthia and a small dollhouse with a carrying handle]
Angelica: [with a flourish] Well, Cynthia, say goodbye to your home! Maybe we'll come back someday; maybe not. Angelica Pickles follows the feet of a different plumber! [boards the train]
[Inside one of the Pullman compartments, Didi and Kira are looking at a map while Didi holds Dil]
Didi: And after the train passes each landmark, we can mark it with a little check.
Kira: You really have this worked out!
[Across from them, Didi and Kira are looking out the window with their guide booklet while holding Dil]
Kira: The first sight should be coming up any second: Vegetable Rock! [hands the booklet to Didi]
Didi: "Thrill to the spectacle of a natural stone formation in the shape of an asparagus." [looks out the window with Kira] This is what it's all about.
[Kira nods. But then Dil spits up]
Dil: Blah!
Didi: Oh, dear.
[The train passes Vegetable Rock, but Didi and Kira miss it]
Kira: I'll get some more napkins. [gets some]
Didi: It's just baby stuff. It's not a real problem...
Kira: There we go. [wipes Dil's mouth]
Betty: Here's where it happened. Now cordon off the scene and sniff out the perp!
Conductor: All I do is punch the tickets. I'll call ahead for the detectives; they'll meet us in the morning at our first stop.
Chas: [with his newspaper] In the morning? But before the morning, there's... [dramatically] the night!
[The train departs the station, and we see the main adults inside the lounge car with the two detectives and Dwayne serving coffee]
Detective 1: [with a notepad] I need you to report any suspicious activities you might have witnessed.
Lou: [softly to the detective] Uh, between you and me, I never liked the looks of that guy. [gestures to Dwayne]
Dwayne: Anyone want coffee?
Betty: [holding a cup] All right, Dwaynie! Java me up!
[Dwayne pours coffee into Betty's cup]
Minka: And I wanted so much for this to be our second honeymoon. [she looks at Boris sleeping and frowns, but when she turns her head Boris smiles]
Kira: [looking at the route map] We should be near Cough Drop Pass.
Didi: [reading from the guide booklet] Where years of natural erosion have formed the stone replica of soothing lozenge.
[Didi and Kira start to look out the window, but Detective 1 walks up to them]
Detective 1: I have a couple of questions; standard procedure, if you'll come this way.
[Didi and Kira look at each other and then get up, just missing the Cough Drop Pass as the train passes by it. Drew and Stu are standing around looking bored]
Drew: Yeah, OK, there's a thief. [gets an idea] Wanna sneak out and have some fun?
[Drew whispers in Stu's ear, and Stu grins and they high-five. The train continues chugging on as the engine's whistle blows, and in their compartment, the babies watch as Grandpa Lou enters]
Lou: OK, sprouts. I'll be taking the next watch to keep you out of trouble.
Minka: That was a nice visit! Now back on the train.
Stu: [He's carrying a sleeping Dil, nervously] For another... eighteen... hours...
Chas: [He takes a photo of Kira posing next to the station clock] That rubber band sure was big!
Angelica: [She and Brett walk up to the train. As Angelica steps on] Come on, Brett. We gotta go.
Angelica: Now the only thing you babies gotta to know is that Cynthia is the greatest crime fighter of all time... and, oh yeah, Cynthia is called Angelica!
Charlotte: Get here Jonathan! I'm swamped! Working at home and watching the babies isn't easy for me either, but I've offered them over a weakness, and Angelica would love to help you with the babies.
Angelica: Alright diaper heads, listen up. While I’m gone you can’t touch anything, look at anything or even think about touching or looking at anything especially my new Cynthia Dream Yacht.
Tommy: Why not Angelica?
Angelica: You still going to ask? Because you’re bunch of dumb babies!
Charlotte: Angelica!
Angelica: Oh, I love Lil very, very much!
Charlotte: If I find you being mean to the babies again, your dream yacht is sailing right back to the toy store.
Jonathan: One glass of low-fat no foam cappuccino.
Charlotte: I said fat-free, foam cappuccino. Remember, be nice to the babies like you usually are.
Harold: Hi, bestest friend, Angelica!
[Susie laughs]
Angelica: Keep dreaming, snack boy!
Harold: [screamed] DO YOU HEAR ME, WORLD?!?! ANGELICA'S BEST FRIEND!!!!
