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Romy and Michele's High School Reunion

1997 film by David Mirkin

Romy and Michele's High School Reunion is a 1997 film about two women who are determined to show the people they went to high school with that they are not losers.

Directed by David Mirkin and written by Robin Schiff, from a play Ladies Room by Schiff
The blonde leading the blonde. taglines

Dialogue

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[at the store where Romy is working, she reconnects with Heather Mooney, but when Heather brings up that their batch reunion is coming up and she wouldn't come]
Romy: Wonder why we didn't get an invitation? I'm sure Michele would have told me if she got one.
Heather: Michele Weinberger?
Romy: Umhmm.
Heather: Do you live with Michele Weinberger?
Romy: Yeah.
Heather: I just figured she'd be married to Sandy by now.
Romy: Sandy Frink?
Heather: Yes, Sandy Frink! He could barely contain his erection every time she walked by! Why do you think he always carried around that huge notebook?
Romy: The Frink-a-zoid and Michele, I'm sure! Besides, didn't you have a thing for Sandy in high school?
Heather: I did not have a thing! I did not have a thing, I did not have a thing! I was very much in love with him! Very much in love and there's a difference! [to customer behind her] There's a difference! [to Romy] There's a difference! I have to go now!
Michele: To me, fashion is just like... everything. [looks at a customer looking into a mirror] By the way... Hi! That blouse looks great on you!
Irate Customer: [looking pleased] Thank you!
Michele: And see? I have this really believable way of telling people they look really good, even though I'm just, you know... [does masturbating gesture; Irate Customer looks embarrassed and leaves] I think she heard me.
Christie Masters Christensen: So, Mi-chele! What are you up to?
Michele: Oh, okay. Um, I invented Post-Its.
Christie: No offense, Michele, but how in the world did you think of Post-Its?
Michele: Uh...
[looks across the room at Romy talking to Billy Christensen]
Romy: And I thought of them completely by myself. I mean, all Michele did was say: "What about making them yellow?"
Michele: [turns to the A Group] Actually I invented a special kind of glue.
Christie: Oh really? Well then I'm sure you wouldn't mind giving us a detailed account of exactly how you concocted this miracle glue, would you?
Michele: No. Um, well, ordinarily when you make glue first you need to thermoset your resin, and then after it cools you have to mix in an epoxide, which is really just a fancy-schmancy name for any simple oxygenated adhesive, right? And then I thought maybe, just maybe, you could raise the viscosity by adding a complex glucose derivative during the emulsification process and it turns...out I was right.
[having been humiliated earlier by Lisa and the A-Group, Romy and Michele decide to come back as their real selves in flashy dresses]
Cheryl: [scoffs] I don't believe it!
Christie: What?
Cheryl: That!
Kelly: They're ba-aaack!
Christie: Nice outfits. Post-It's must be really lucrative!
Michele: [as they close the distance] Romy, are you sure you wanna do this?
Romy: Oh yeah, Michele. I am so sure! [when they finally confront the clique] What the hell is your problem, Christie? Why are you always such a nasty bitch? [people react] You get some kind of sick pleasure from torturing other people? I mean, yeah okay, so Michele and I did make up some lame story. We only did it because we wanted you to treat us like human beings, but you know what I finally realized? I don't care if you like us, 'cause we don't like you. You're a bad person with an ugly heart, and we don't give a flying fuck what you think! [everybody is stunned at them standing up to the A-Group. Cheryl and Kelly laugh sarcastically] Come on Michele.
Michele: Okay, and...yeah!
Christie: Unbelievable! They're as deluded about their lives as they are about those hideous clothes.
Lisa Luder: [comes from behind the clique] Actually, Christie. They've got nice lines. A fun, frisky use of color. All in all, I'd have to say they're really... [looks at Christie] not bad! [classmates react positively]
Christie: [dismisses positive reception] Well, we still think they're ridiculous. Don't we girls?
Lisa: [seeing the other two women keeping quiet and looking away] Why don't you just let them think for themselves for once?
Christie: You're just jealous, because unlike a certain ball-busting dried-up career woman, I might mention, we're all happily married!
Lisa: That's right, Christie...keep telling yourself that. [looks at Romy and Michele before walking off]
Toby: Since you never got around to it in high school, I was wondering if you would sign my yearbook. And please don't tell me to fuck off, because it really hurts my feelings.
Heather: [reacts at the revelation] I hurt your feelings?
Toby: Yeah, all the time.
Heather: Tremendous! That's tremendous! Go get your stupid yearbook, I would be happy to sign it!
[Sandy Frink has arrived by helicopter, and everybody is wide-eyed at his entrance in a three-piece suit and white-soled sneakers]
Heather Mooney: That's Sandy Frink? The hell was I thinking? [goes somewhere else]
Christie: [tries to greet Sandy] Sandy, hi! You look so rich. I mean, great. [Frink slightly smiles at her but moves on]
Sandy Frink: Michele. After all these years, you still take my breath away.
Michele: Thanks. So you must be, like, the most successful person in our entire graduating class.
Sandy: Well, I guess that depends on how you define "success." If, to you, success means having a house in Aspen. one in Acapulco, penthouse in New York, mansion in Malibu, 60-foot yacht, an eight-seat Windstar, a Bell Jet Ranger, a Bentley, a personal trainer, a full-time chef, a live-in masseuse, and a staff of 24, then, yeah... I guess I am successful. But no matter how much I accumulate... there's still one thing I just don't have.
Michele: [lost in his monologue] Your own country?
Sandy: I don't have you, Michele. Will you dance with me?
Michele: Only if Romy can dance with us.
Sandy: Sure. [they perform a dance rendition of Time After Time]
[Heather is attempting to light a cigarette, but when someone offers her a light, she sees it's the Cowboy]
Heather: Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph, what do you want?
Cowboy: You were right, I was a brain-dead redneck asshole. Though I never screwed a sheep or my sister.
Heather: Why not, couldn't catch 'em?
Cowboy: Guess I deserve that. I was a jerk. I'm so miserable in high school, I don't think I spoke more than two words the entire time. Just couldn't breathe there, you know, plus I was a really bad stutterer. Listen do you, uh, want to go somewhere quiet? Somewhere we can talk?
Heather: [surprised at the invite] You...you want to talk to me? [the Cowboy nods] OK cowboy, I don't know what your trip is, but if this is some kind of a sick game.
Cowboy: What? No!
Heather: If you fuck with me, in any way, I will rip each and every appendage from your body, starting with your dick. Capice?
Cowboy: Look, I just wanted to talk.
Heather: OK what the hell... [they head off] What is your name?
Cowboy: Clarence.
Heather: Clarence, I like the name.
Cowboy: Thank you.
Heather: Pick up the pace.
Romy: I've been killing myself for eight days and I gained a pound.
Michele: That's impossible. Did you deduct 16 pounds for your shoes?

Taglines

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  • Coming Soon To Theaters Everywhere... Okay?
  • The Blonde Leading The Blonde.
  • A Comedy of Blonders.

Cast

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