Rick Cook
American writer
James Richard Cook (1944 – January 13, 2022) was an American author of light fantasy novels. His writing includes many computer jokes, and is best enjoyed by those who have a background in computers.
Quotes
editWizard's Bane (1989)
edit- Wiz thought about what it would be like to work with a computer that killed the programmer every time it crashed and shuddered.
- It is a pity the universe doesn't use a segmented architecture with a protected mode!
- Murphy said, 'Constants aren't', and Murphy was apparently one of the gods of this universe.
- He deliberately left them out of the code. After all, he rationalized, this is only version 1.0.
The Wizardry Compiled (1989)
edit- Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
- Judith looked at the demons and shook her head. "I'm glad we didn't build four processors. I'm not sure I could take a barbershop quartet!"
- Programming is like pinball. The reward for doing it well is the opportunity to do it again.
- "The question is, is that a bug or a feature?" Karl asked.
- Always secure your files, you never know who is lurking about.
- The law of similarity made any map a magical instrument.
The Wizardry Cursed (1991)
edit- "What was that?" Jerry asked, peering over the edge. "I think it was a ninja dwarf." Wiz said wonderingly...
- "We learned dwarves are not meant to fly." came a voice from the edge of the circle.
- It's how you get rid of cats. You get a 500-pound parakeet and teach it to say, "Here, kitty kitty kitty."
- Never ask them for an explanation. You only end up worse confused.
- It's always the details that get you in trouble.
The Wizardry Consulted (1995)
edit- The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware type with a program patch and a user with an idea.
- As flat as an open can of coke, left on a programmer's desk over the weekend.
- What happened, get lost in the directory tree again?
External links
edit- Bibliography on SciFan
- The Wizardry Capitalized book posted online
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