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Revenge of the Nerds

1984 film by Jeff Kanew

Revenge of the Nerds is a 1984 film about a group of bullied outcasts and misfits who resolve to fight back for their peace and self respect.

Directed by Jeff Kanew. Written by Jeff Buhai.
They've been laughed at, picked on and put down. But now it's time for the odd to get even! Their time has come! taglines

Dudley "Booger" Dawson

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  • We've got bush! We've got bush!

Lamar Latrelle

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  • [singing] Clap your hands everybody, and everybody clap your hands. We are Lambda Lambda Lambda and Omega Mu. We come here on stage tonight to do our show for you. We got a rocking rhythm and a hi-tech sound that will make you move your body down to the ground. We got Poindexter on the violin, and Lewis and Gilbert will be joining in. We got Booger Presley on the mean guitar and a rap by little ol' me Lamar. We got Takashi beating on his gong, the boys and the Mu's are clapping along. And just when you thought, ya seen it all, along comes a Lambda four foot tall. So Wormser come on out here on the floor, so we can move our bodies, like never before. Break!

Coach Harris

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  • You know, when you were a baby in your crib, your father looked down upon you and had one wish: "Someday my son will grow up to be a man". Well look at you now; you just got your asses whipped, by a bunch of goddamn nerds. [removes hat and throws it against wall] NERDS!! Well, if I were you I would do something about it. I would get up and redeem myself in the eyes of my father, my Maker, and my coach!

Dialogue

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Lewis: There's 6,127 students at Adams, 58% of which are girls.
Gilbert: So?
Lewis: So, that's 7,107.32 boobs.
[Lewis, Gilbert and Mr. Skolnick all let out guttural laughs]
Mr. Skolnick: Ah, you college men are all alike; all you think about is getting laid! I almost wish I was enrolling in school with you guys!
Alpha Beta house is aflame after a party
Stan: Must have been a problem with the electrical wiring.
Dean Ulich: That is not what the fire department thinks, Stan.
Coach Harris: Dean Ulich, if my boys say it was faulty wiring, we have to believe them. Dean, I got a big game coming up and I don't want their minds to be worried about where they will sleep.
Dean Ulich: Well, they should have thought of that before they burned their house down.
Coach Harris: Hey, what's done is done. Now where?
Stan: How about the freshmen dorm?
Dean Ulich: What about the students currently residing there?
[Freshman dorm. Alpha Betas are ready to storm building]
Stan: OK guys, thanks to "faulty wiring" we have no place to stay.
Alpha Betas: [in unison] Yeah!
Stan: And those freshmen, freshmen, are sitting pretty in there!
Alpha Betas: [in unison] Right!
Stan: So as of this moment, the freshmen dorm is ours. Any room you want, take it! Break!
[Alpha Betas storm into freshmen dormitory and begin tearing up place]
Ogre: Don't come back!
[Student is hurled through window]
Ogre: There is your roommate, pal!
[Freshmen, to include Lewis and Gilbert, are ushered out of freshmen dorm. Alpha Betas toss their personal possessions out the window in jeering chants]
Dean Ulich: [through bullhorn] If I may have everyone's attention please, we can make this move as easy as possible...
[Coach Harris yanks bullhorn from Dean Ulich]
Coach Harris: [through bullhorn] Now listen up men! I am going to see that each and every one of you is taken care of. You will be provided with the best possible food and accommodations. Now, go, go, go!
[Harold Wormser, a child, is being dropped off at college by his parents]
Wormser: But Mom, I do not want to go to college, I want to be around people my own age.
Wormser's Mom: Harold, you have a special gift and need college to develop it. And you will be around people your age, when you are older!
Wormser: But to live in a gym? Come on, it is like we are refugees from a war!
[Booger is teaching Takashi poker]
Takashi: I think I've got a frush.
Booger: What the fuck's a frush?
Takashi: [showing his royal flush] A *frush*.
Booger: [showing his cards] Oh, well I've got two sevens and two sevens beats a frush.
Takashi: Oh, thank you.
Gilbert: I met a girl.
Lewis: Gilbert, that is wonderful!
Booger: Big deal. Did you get in her pants?
Gilbert: She's not that kind of girl, Booger.
Booger: Why? Does she have a penis?
Stan: What are you looking at, nerd?
Booger: I thought I was looking at my mother's old douche bag, but that's in Ohio.
Stan: Times are changing, Betty. These nerds are a threat to our way of life.
Betty: If they win the Homecoming Carnival, they'll be able to take over the Greek Council.
Stan: Yeah. And we'll be up to our asses in nerd shit.
Lewis: Didn't I tell you we would find a nice place?
Gilbert: Yes, this is way better than the dorm.
[Brick is hurled though window as the sound of a motorcycle speeding away can be heard]
Booger: What was that?
Gilbert: It reads: "NERDS GET OUT!"
Takashi: What is a nerd?
Gilbert: We are.
Policeman: I do not know what this world is coming to. Motions to a man in a trenchcoat See that man over there. We arrested him for mopery.
Gilbert: What is that?
Policeman: Mopery is exposing yourself to a blind person. I am sorry about your window, fellas, but regretfully it is out of our jurisdiction. This reeks of a campus prank and there is only one organization that can adjudicate on such matters.
Lewis: What is that?
Policeman: [disdainful tone] The Greek Council.
[Greek Council chambers. Fraternity leaders are seated and Ogre is the sergeant-at-arms]
Dean Ulich: Our next issue on the agenda, new membership. Earl, will you please admit the petitioners?
[Earl opens door and motions for the nerds to enter]
Ogre: Kneel, gentlemen.
[Nerds kneel]
Dean Ulich: You are the men who wish to form a fraternity?
Lewis: Yes, we are.
[Greek Council disapproves unanimously]
Stan: Well, gentlemen, I regret to inform to you that your application has been denied.
[Nerds express outrage at instant disapproval, but Dean Ulich silences them]
Dean Ulich: I am afraid he is right. According to our rules you require a national fraternity as your sponsor.
Gilbert: So all we need to do is get a sponsor and we are in?
Stan: Right, so we will see you in about...twenty years!
[Nerds attempts to get a fraternity to sponsor them. They deal with multiple rejection letters]
Gilbert: [reading a letter] Dear Gentlemen, Thank you for your interest in Kappa Alpha. We regret to inform you that we have no interest in sponsoring you at Adams. In the future we recommend you not include a group photo.
Gilbert: That is twenty-seven rejections so far. Did we send photos of us to all the fraternities?
Lamar: Yes. All except...Lambda Lambda Lambda.
Lewis: Hey guys! I got an acceptance letter! There is a fraternity that will consider us!
Gilbert and Lamar: Lambda Lambda Lambda!
[Alpha Betas have set up a kissing booth for the Greek Games]
Stan: This idea is great. Look at how many ticket sales we are bringing in.
Burke: The nerds are selling over 2,000. People are lining up to buy two, maybe three!
Stan: Ogre, go get a pie. See what they are up to.
[A man just bought a pie from the nerds; Ogre shoves him and steals the pie]
Ogre: Thanks! Get your own.
Man: Hey!
[Ogre wolfs down his ill-gotten pie]
Stan: Well, how is it? Good, great?
Ogre: OK.
Burke: OK?! Then how come they are selling so damn many?!
Ogre: [points] That's why!
[Cut to Lambda Lambda Lambda selling pies]
Takashi: Thank you, eat a pie for charity!
[One member stamps pie dish with a nude pic from the panty raid, another adorns it with whipped cream. Cut to Stan who sees a picture of Betty]
Stan: That is my Pi!
Betty: [blissfully, after sex] Oh, Stan. You were wonderful. You did things to me you've never done before.
[Lewis takes off his mask]
Betty: [gasps] Ahhh! You're that nerd!
Lewis: Yeah.
Betty: Oh, you were wonderful. Are all nerds as good as you?
Lewis: Yes.
Betty: How come?
Lewis: 'Cause all jocks ever think about is sports, all we ever think about is sex.
Gilbert: I just wanted to say that I'm a nerd, and I'm here tonight to stand up for the rights of other nerds. I mean uh, all our lives we've been laughed at and made to feel inferior. And tonight, those bastards, they trashed our house. Why? Because we're smart? Because we look different? Well, we're not. I'm a nerd, and uh, I'm pretty proud of it.
Lewis: Hi, Gilbert. I'm a nerd too. I just found that out tonight. We have news for the beautiful people. There's a lot more of us then there are of you. I know there's alumni here tonight. When you went to Adams you might've been called a spazz, or a dork, or a geek. Any of you that have ever felt stepped on, left out, picked on, put down, whether you think you're a nerd or not, why don't you just come down here and join us. Okay? Come on.
Gilbert: Just join us cause uh, no-one's gonna really be free until nerd persecution ends.
[Last lines of film]
Dean Ulich: You know, I am going to allow them to sleep in the Alpha Beta house until you guys repair all the damage you did to the Lambda Lambda Lambda house.
Stan: What about us?
Burke: Yeah, where are we gonna sleep?
Dean Ulich: You're jocks. Go sleep in the gym.

Taglines

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  • They've been laughed at, picked on and put down. But now it's time for the odd to get even! Their time has come!
  • It's time for the odd to get even!
  • Their time has come!
  • They've been laughed at, picked on and put down. But now it's time for the odd to get even! Their time has come!
  • The time has come for REVENGE OF THE NERDS
  • Let the battle begin!
  • From a preview trailer as the 20th Century Fox introduction plays: Star Wars. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, The Sound of Music: 20th Century Fox has had a long and proud tradition of showing uplifting movies about facing up to prevailing odds. Now in this manner, we are pleased to present another timeless film to this lineup: Revenge of the Nerds!

Cast

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