Purple Cow Parodies
Parodies of the poem "The Purple Cow" by Gelett Burgess.
- A cow of purple is a joy forever.
Its loveliness increases. I have never
Seen this phenomenon.
- She lived unknown, that Cow, and so
I never chanced to see;
But if I had to be one, oh,
The difference to me!
- For the wind is in the gum-tree,
And the hay is in the mow,
And the cow-bells are a-calling
"Come and see a Purple Cow!"
- Hence, vain deluding cows.
The herd of folly, without colour bright,
How little you delight,
Or fill the Poet's mind, or songs arouse!
- I dream of a purple creature
Which is not as kine are now;
And resembles cattle only
As Cowper resembles a cow.
- Though cows of rare sorts I am buying,
Not one breathes a balm to my breast.
Oh, rapturous, rose-crowned occasion,
When I such a glory might see!
But a cow of a purple persuasion
I never would be.
- Our most hearty laughter
Something sad must rouse.
Our sweetest songs are those that tell of Purple Cows.
- Full many a cow of purplest ray serene
Is haply grazing where I may not see;
Full many a donkey writes of her, I ween,
But neither of these creatures would I be.
- Ask me no more. A cow I fain would see
Of purple tint, like a sun-soaked grape -
- Open then I flung a shutter,
And, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a Purple Cow which gayly tripped around my floor.
- Corniferous wet-nurse of the human race,
Calm, comfortable cow, with placid pride
Yielding your offering at eventide
By Susan and David Hollander edit
- And to my horror down the lane
Came a sight; I froze inside
A spectral cow with purple hide.
- In Bovine majesty she stands,
Her purple tail she swings,
The amethyst cow
- "Diversions of the Re-Echo Club" by Carolyn Wells in The Book of Humorous Verses compiled by Carolyn Wells. Copyright 1920, 1936 by Doubleday & Company, Inc.