[after singing "When You Wish Upon a Star"] Pretty, huh? I'll bet a lot of you folks don't believe that. About a wish coming true? Well, I didn't either. Of course, I'm just a cricket singing my way from hearth to hearth, but let me tell you what made me change my mind.
[after Pinocchio is brought to life] What they can't do these days.
[When Pinocchio is locked in a cage] Oh, buck up, son. It could be worse. Be cheerful... [breaks down and cries] LIKE ME!! [Pinocchio begins to sob harder, and a tear falls on his hat] Awwww, take it easy, son. Go ahead, blow. [Pinocchio blows his nose on the handkerchief] Atta boy. [Jiminy also blows his nose with the handkerchief] Oh, well, it stopped raining anyway.
A fine conscience I turned out to be!
What does an actor want with a conscience, anyway?
Go ahead. Make a fool of yourself, and maybe you'll listen to your concience.
[while at Pleasure Island] Pinocchio! [coughs] Pinocchio! There's something phony about all this. I've got to get him outta here.
Pinocchio! So, this is where I find you! How do you ever expect to be a real boy? Look at yourself! Smokin'? [pulls the flattened cigar out of Pinocchio's mouth] Playin' pool? [Angrily kicks the #8 ball and stubs his toe] OWW! You're coming right home with me this minute!
Jiminy Cricket: [Looks at his reflection in a paintpot and turns to Pinocchio] Oh! Almost forgot about you. Well, Pinoke. You and I need to have a little heart-to-heart talk.
Jiminy: Well, you wanna be a real boy, don't you? (Pinocchio nods his head yes) Sit down, son. [Pinocchio drops down on the bench] Now, you see, the world is full of temptations.
Jiminy: Yep, temptations. They're the wrong things that seem right at the time, but, uh.... even though the right things may seem wrong, sometimes, or sometimes, the wrong things [chuckles] may be right at the wrong time, or visa versa. [clears throat] Understand?
Pinocchio: [shakes his head] Uh-uh. [Jiminy handpalms] But I'm gonna do right.
Jiminy: Attaboy, Pinoke! And I'm gonna help ya. Now if you need me at anytime, just whistle. Like this. (Whistles)
Pinocchio: Like this? (He tries to whistle, but all he does is just blow air)
[Stromboli is counting his money while Pinocchio sits on a baguette bread]
Stromboli: [Singing] I buy a new suit and I swing-a that cane! I eat-a the bread and I drink-a champagne! I got-a no strings on-a me! [Chuckles heartily] Bravo, Pinocchio!
Pinocchio: They like me!
Stromboli: Mmmmmm.... 200. You were sensational!
Pinocchio: You mean I'm good?
Stromboli: Ah, 300! You are-a COLOSSAL! [Chops some bread very close to Pinocchio]
Pinocchio: Does that mean I'm an actor?
Stromboli: [bites an onion] Sure! I will push you in the public's eye! Your face, she will-a be on everybody's tongue!
Pinocchio: [sheds tears due to Stromboli's onion breath] Will she?
Stromboli: Yeah. [Notices a washer in his stacks of coins] What's this?!? [He bites down on the washer and angrily curses in Italian until he realizes Pinocchio is listening. He calms down and gives the bent washer to him] For you, my little Pinocchio.
Pinocchio: For me? Gee, thanks! I'll run right home and tell my father!
Stromboli: [Spits out the wine he was drinking][coughs] Home? [laughs] Oh, sure! Going-a home-a to your father! [laughs] Oh, that is very covincico!
Pinocchio: You mean it's funny?
Stromboli: [laughs] Oh, sure! Yes. [Pinocchio joins him in laughing]
Pinocchio: I'll be back in the morning!
Stromboli: Be back in the morning? Going home?
[Stromboli realizes that Pinocchio is being serious and grabs him while angrily cursing. He realizes Pinocchio is still listening and joins him in laughing until he locks him in a birdcage]
Stromboli: There! This will be your home, where I can find-a you always! [Snaps the padlock shut]
Pinocchio: No, no, no!
Stromboli: Yes! Yes! Yes! To me, you are-a belonging. We will tour-a the world! Paris, London, Monte Carlo, Con-stan-tinopalee!
Pinocchio: No! No!
Stromboli: YES! We start-a TONIGHT! [He dumps all his money into a sack] Mmm... You will make lots of-a money.... [Slams the sack into his cummerbund] FOR ME! [Picks up his axe] And when you are growing too old, you will make good.... FIREWOOD![throws his axe, which lands on a broken puppet]
Pinocchio: [shakes the birdcage bars] Let me outta here! I gotta get out! You can't keep me...!
Stromboli: QUIET!!!! Shut up! Before I knock-a you silly! Goodnight.... [Blows a kiss to Pinocchio] ....my little wooden gold mine! [Slams the wagon door, and makes the room completely dark]
The Blue Fairy: Pinocchio, why didn't you go to school?
[Pinocchio looks up at Jiminy]
Jiminy: Go ahead. Tell her.
Pinocchio: I was going to school till I met somebody.
The Blue Fairy: Met somebody?
Pinocchio: Yeah, two big monsters with big, green eyes!
[His nose grows a little]
Pinocchio: Why, I...
The Blue Fairy: Monsters? Weren't you afraid?
Pinocchio: No, ma'am, but they tied me in a big sack.
[His nose grows a little more and sprouts leaves]
The Blue Fairy: You don't say? And where was Jiminy?
Pinocchio: Huh? Oh, Jiminy?
Jiminy: [jumps in front of Pinocchio] Psst! Leave me out of this.
Pinocchio: They put him in a little sack.
[His nose grows even more, taking Jiminy along with it]
The Blue Fairy: No!
[His nose sprouts flowers]
The Blue Fairy: How did you escape?
Pinocchio: I didn't - they chopped me into firewood!
[His nose grows again, and a nest with baby birds sprouts at the end of it]
Pinocchio: Oh, look! My nose! What's happened?
The Blue Fairy: Perhaps you haven't been telling the truth, Pinocchio.
Pinocchio: Oh, but I have! Every single word!
[the branch with the nest on his nose withers, and the birds fly away, whistling]
[Honest John is telling the Coachman their success at fooling Pinocchio]
Honest John: [Singing] Hi diddle dee-dee! An actor's life for me! A high silk hat and a silver cane. A watch of gold with a diamond chain. Hi diddle dee-day! An actor's life is gay! It's great to be a celebrity! An actor's life for me! [Laughs] And the dummy fell for it! Hook, line, and sinker! [Gideon takes the ring he smoked from his cigar and dunks it in his beer like dunking a donut in coffee, bites into it, and hiccups] And he still thinks we're his friends! And did Stromboli pay? Plenty! [He lays a small bag of money on the table. The Coachman grins wickedly] That shows you how low Honest John will stoop. Eh, Giddy? [Gideon nods in agreement and hiccups, spilling his beer all over himself] Now, uh, Coachman... [takes a smoke ring from his cigar] What's your proposition?
Coachman: Well... [He takes a few smokes from his pipe and reaches into his coat pocket] How would you blokes like to make some real money? [He lays an even larger bag of money on the table]
Honest John: Well! And who do we have to, eh... [Makes throat-slashing motion]
Coachman: No, no! Nothing like that. You see... [He and Honest John look around the bar to see if anyone else is listening, even though the bar is empty, whispering] I'm collecting stupid little boys.
Honest John: Stupid little boys?
Coachman: You know. The disobedient ones who play hooky from school.
Honest John: Oh!
Coachman: And you see... [Whispers in Honest John's ear. Gideon puts his ear to Honest John's other ear and cleans it out for him so he can listen as well] And I takes 'em to Pleasure Island.
Honest John: Ah, Pleasure Island. [suddenly shocked and horrified] Pleasure Island? But the law! Suppose they....
Coachman: No, no. There's no risk. They never come back... As BOYS!!!![Leans in close to camera, red in the face with beady green eyes bugging out, grinning an evil grin, his powered wig standing up and split in two like devil horns. Honest John and Gideon cower in fear as he laughs maniacally and pulls them close] Now, I got a coachload leavin' at midnight. We'll meet at the crossroads. And no double-crossin'!
Honest John: No, sir.
Coachman: Scout around. Any good prospects you find, bring 'em to me!
Honest John: Yes, chief.
Coachman: I'll pay you well! I got plenty o' gold!
[Meanwhile, Pinocchio and Jiminy are walking home after escaping from Stromboli]
Pinocchio: No, sir. Nothing can stop me now! I'll make good this time!
Jiminy: You better!
Pinocchio: I will. I'm going to school!
Jiminy: That's the stuff, Pinoke!
Pinocchio: I'd rather be smart than be an actor!
Jiminy: Now you're talkin'! C'mon, slowpoke! I'll race you home!
[They race back to Geppetto's workshop until Honest John grabs Pinocchio by the back of his overalls with his cane]
Honest John: Well, well, Pinocchio! What's your rush?
Pinocchio: I gotta beat Jiminy home. [Tips his hat] Oh, hello.
Honest John: Well, how was the great actor?
Pinocchio: I don't wanna be an actor! Stromboli was terrible!
Honest John: He was?!
Pinocchio: Yeah! He locked me in a birdcage!
Honest John: He did?!
Pinocchio: Uh-huh, and I learned my lesson. I'm goin'...
Honest John: Oh, you poor, poor boy! You must be a nervous wreck. That's it! You are a nervous wreck! We must diagnose this case at once! Quick, doctor! Your notebook! [Gideon pulls out a notepad and a pencil] Bless, my soul. [looks at Pinocchio's arm to check his pulse] Mmm... Mm-hmm! My, my.... Just as I thought. a slight touch nolitary complications with pucolic semial contraptions of flying trapezes. [Gideon writes down what he thinks he said. Honest John uses his glasses as a tongue depressor while he looks into Pinocchio's mouth] Mm-hmm.... Say "hippopotamus".
Honest John: I knew it! Compound transmission in the pandemonium custom in the span private disintegration. [Gideon writes in the middle of the air] Close your eyes. [Pinocchio closes his eyes hard] What do you see?
Honest John: [holds a spotted handkerchief in front of Pinocchio] Open them. [Pinocchio does so] Now, what do you see?
Honest John: Aha! Now, that heart! [peels up Pinocchio's shirt untucked, listens for Pinocchio's heartbeat, and makes a jazzy drumming solo with his cane. Gideon dances while writing down the information] Ooh, my goodness! A palpitating syncopation of the killer-diller. With a wicky-wacky stomping of the floy joy! [Bonks Gideon on the head with his cane] Quick, doctor! That report! [takes the notepad from a dizzy Gideon and looks at what he wrote, which was nothing but scribbles] Oh! This makes it perfectly clear! My boy, you are allergic!
Honest John: Yes, and there is only one cure! A vacation! On Pleasure Island! [Winks at Gideon]
Pinocchio: Pleasure Island?
Honest John: Yes! That happy land of carefree boys where everyday's a holiday!
Pinocchio: But I can't go. I--
Honest John: Why, of course you can go! I'm giving you my ticket! [Produces a playing card in his hand and gives it to Pinocchio] Here!
Pinocchio: Thanks, but I'm...
Honest John: Oh, tut, tut, tut! I insist! Your health comes first! Come! The coach departs at midnight! [He and Gideon take Pinocchio to the coach to Pleasure Island, singing] Hi diddle dee-dee! It's Pleasure Isle for me! Where every day is a holiday and kids have nothing to do but play. Hi diddle dee-doo! If what I hear is true. A land of pudding and marmalade. It's Pleasure Isle for me!
Jiminy: Pinoke! Oh, Pinoke! Now where do you suppose he-[Turns around to see Pinocchio, Honest John, and Gideon disappear around the corner and runs after them]Huh!? Pinocchio! Hey! Come back!
[On the coach to Pleasure Island, boys are fussing and laughing. Jiminy hides under the coach, getting sick and coughing from the dust the donkeys pulling the coach are kicking up
Jiminy: Well... [Coughs] Here we go again.
Lampwick: Me name's Lampwick. What's yours?
Pinocchio: [Tips his hat] Pinocchio!
Lampwick: Ever been to Pleasure Island?
Pinocchio: Uh-uh. [Shows Lampwick his "ticket" from Honest John] Mr. Honest John gave me...
Lampwick: Me, neither, but they say that it's a swell joint! No school, no cops. You can tear the joint apart. And nobody says a word.
Pinocchio: Honest John gave me...
Lampwick: Loaf around, plenty to eat, plenty to drink. And it's all free!
Pinocchio: Honest John gave me...
Lampwick: Boy, that's the place. I can hardly wait!
[The Coachman smiles evilly. They arrive at the docks and board a showboat. They arrive at Pleasure Island, which has various elements any amusement park has, including carnival rides. Balloons of clowns and policemen float above. The Coachman gestures the boys in]
Barker: Right here, boys! Right here! Get your cake, pie, dill pickles, and ice cream! All you can eat! Be a glutton! Stuff yourself! It's all free, boys! It's all free! Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry!
[Inside a tent, boys are pouncing on each other and punching each other]
Roughhouse Animatronic: The Roughhouse! The Roughhouse! It's the roughest, toughest joint you've ever seen! Come in and pick a fight, boys!
Lampwick: Oh, boy! A scrap! C'mon! Let's go and poke somebody in the nose! [Tosses away his roast chicken]
Lampwick: Aw, just for the fun of it.
Pinocchio: OK, Lampy! [Tosses away his ice cream cone and pie and strolls into the Roughhouse with Lampwick. In another part of Pleasure Island, wooden Indians are throwing fat cigars to boys]
Barker: Tobacco Row! Tobacco Row! Get your cigars, cigarettes, and chewing tobacco! Come in and smoke your heads off! There's nobody here to stop you!
Meanwhile, Jiminy is trying to avoid the boys running around, trying to step on him]
Jiminy: Pinocchio! (Coughs) Pinocchio! There's somethin' phony about all this. I gotta get him outta here.
[In a house, boys are knocking houseplants over, breaking windows and furniture and setting the entire house on fire]
Barker: See the Model Home! It's open for destruction! And it's all yours, boys! It's all yours!
Lampwick: What'd I tell ya? Ain't this a swell joint? [He lights a match on the Mona Lisa painting to light his cigar]
Pinocchio: Yeah! [Picks up an axe] Bein' bad's a lot of fun, ain't it?
Lampwick: Yeah, uh-huh. Get a load of that stained-glass window. [Picks up a brick and throws it at the stained glass window. Meanwhile, back at the entrance, the Coachman turns to his henchmen]
Coachman: Alright now! [Cracks his whip] Hop to it, you blokes! C'mon! C'mon! Shut the doors and lock 'em tight! [The guards close the wooden doors] Now, get below and get the crates ready! (Chuckles) Give a bad boy enough rope and he'll soon make a jackass of himself. [Laughs evilly]
Jiminy is walking around the deserted fairgrounds, littered with half-smoked cigars and food wrappers
Jiminy: Pinocchio! Where is everybody? This place is like a graveyard. I don't like the looks of this. Hey! Where are you?
[Meanwhile, in the pool hall, Lampwick is playing pool while Pinocchio sits at a table, smoking his cigar]
Pinocchio: Where do you suppose all the kids went to, Lampwick?
Lampwick: Oh, they're around here somewheres. Why do you care? You're havin' a good time, ain't ya? [Hits a #3 ball into a hole]
Pinocchio: Uh-huh. I sure am.
Lampwick: Oh, boy! This is the life, huh, Pinokey?
Pinocchio: Yeah! [smokes lightly] It sure is! [smokes lightly again]
Lampwick: Ah, you smoke like me grandmother! [picks up his cigar] Come on! Take a big drag, like this! [inhales his cigar deeply]
Pinocchio: OK, Lampy! [inhales his cigar deeply and swallows, causing his eyes to water and his face to turn green]
Lampwick: Heh, some fun, huh, kid?
[Pinocchio nods drowsily]
Lampwick: OK, slats. [adds a point in the score chart] Your shot.
[Pinocchio, drunk and disoriented, can barely focus on striking the #8 ball]
Lampwick: What's the matter, slats? Losin' your grip?
[Pinocchio is about to strike the ball, but is then startled by Jiminy]
Jiminy: PINOCCHIO! So, this is where I find you! How do you ever expect to be a real boy? Look at yourself! Smokin'? [pulls the flattened cigar out of Pinocchio's mouth] Playin' pool? [Angrily kicks the #8 ball and stubs his toe] OWW! You're coming right home with me this minute!
Lampwick: Hey, who's the beetle? [picks up Jiminy]
Jiminy: Hey, put me down! [Voice becomes muffled as he gets wrapped around in his coat] Let me outta here! Put me down!
Pinocchio: He's my conscience. He tells me what's right from wrong.
Lampwick: [drops Jiminy] What?! You mean to tell me you take orders from a grasshopper?
Jiminy: Grasshopper? Look here, you impudent young pup! It wouldn't hurt you to take orders from your grasshopper! Uh... Your conscience! If you had one.
Lampwick: Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. [strikes the ball Jiminy is standing on] Screwball in the corner pocket.
[Jiminy is knocked into a hole by a ball, the other ball goes in, too. When Jiminy lands in the ball pit, he runs out of the way of the #8 ball. Lampwick cracks up laughing]
Jiminy: [Climbs out of hole] Why, you young hoodlum! [takes off his jacket] I'll knock your block off! [punches the air. Lampwick laughs harder] I'll take you apart and put you back together!
Pinocchio: Oh, don't hurt him, Jiminy. He's my best friend.
Jiminy: Why, I'll... Huh! Your best friend? And what am I? Just your conscience. [Angrily storms away] OK! That settles it!
Pinocchio: But Jiminy.
Jiminy: You buttered your bread. Now sleep in it!
[puts his jacket on backwards and falls down a pool hole again; Lampwick laughs even harder]
Jiminy: [mocks Lampwick's laughter] Ha, ha, ha! Go on, laugh! Make a jackass outta yourself! I'm through! This is the end! [storms out the bar]
Pinocchio: But Jiminy, Lampwick's just a guy who only lives once.
Jiminy: Lampwick! Hmph!
Lampwick: Come on, come on! Give him a break! Let him go! [pours some beer into a couple steins]
[Meanwhile, Jiminy is storming out of Pleasure Island]
Jiminy: Lampwick? Ha! Lampwick! [Kicks a smoked cigar, making the ashes fly everywhere] Burns me up. After all I tried to do for him! Who's his conscience anyway! Me, or that hoodlum Lampwick? I've had enough of this! I'm takin' the next boat outta here! [raps on the door with his umbrella handle] Open up that door! Open up! I wanna go home!
[Jiminy hears donkeys braying on the other side of the door and slips under the door. There, he finds the Coachman and his henchman shoving donkeys down a chute, into crates, and onto the boat]
Coachman: C'mon, you blokes! Keep it moving. Lively there, now! We haven't got all night!
Jiminy: [scratches his head] Where'd all the donkeys come from?
Coachman: Come on, come on! Let's have another! [One of his henchmen pulls a donkey toward him] And what's your name?
Donkey: Hee-haw! ("Haw-hee!")
Coachman: OK, you'll do! [He tears the clothing off the donkey and throws him into a crate with five others] In you go! You boys will bring a nice price. [Chuckles evilly] Alright! Next! [Another donkey in a sailor suit is thrown toward him] And what might your name be?
Coachman: So, you can talk?
Alexander: Y-Yes, sir. I wanna go home to my mama!
Coachman: Take him back! He can still talk! [snatches Alexander and throws him into a pen with six other donkeys that talk]
Alexander: Please, please. I don't wanna be a donkey. [The others beg and plead] Let me out of here!
Coachman: QUIET!!![Cracks his whip] You boys have had your fun. Now pay for it!
Jiminy: Boys? So that's why— Pinocchio! [He runs back to the pool hall to warn Pinocchio what has happened to the boys]
Lampwick: Ha! Hear that beetle talk... [Takes a sip of his beer] ...You'd think something was gonna happen to us. [Lampwick then sprouts donkey ears, unaware of this. Pinocchio pushes his beer away] Conscience. Ah, phooey! [Strikes a ball and grows a donkey tail as a shocked Pinocchio throws away his cigar] Where does he get that stuff? "How do ya ever expect to be a real boy?" [Leans over the pool table, his head turns into a fuzzy brown donkey muzzle, and he grabs his cigar when he puts it in his mouth] What's he think I look like? A jackass?
Pinocchio: You sure do! [Laughs, but when he suddenly brays in the middle of his laughter, he covers his mouth in shock]
Lampwick: Hey, you laugh like a donkey. [laughs, then also brays, and covers his mouth to stop] Did that come outta me!
Lampwick: [Pinocchio nods in a horrified look. Lampwick feels his face, realizing he has a muzzle] Oh! [Feels nothing but fur] Huh? [He tugs at his ears] What the--? What's going on! [He looks in the mirror, sees that he is only half a donkey, and screams bloody murder in terror]AAAAAGHHH!!! I've been double-crossed! Help! Help! Somebody, help! I've been framed! HELP!!!!
Lampwick: [begs to Pinocchio for help, while Pinocchio ends up backing into a wall, and getting the straps on his overalls grabbed Lampwick's hands] Please, you've gotta help me. Oh, be a pal. Call that beetle, call anybody!
[lets go of Pinocchio as his hands close up and become hooves. Pinocchio gasps in shock and backs away, scared]
Lampwick: Mama! MA-AA-A-MA-AA-A!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!
[In the shadow, Lampwick is forced down on all fours, and having turned into a donkey completely, begins to kick everything in the room, and starts braying uncontrollably, while Pinocchio runs away and hides under a chair. When Lampwick leaves braying wildly, Pinocchio suddenly sprouts grey donkey ears]
Pinocchio: OOOOH!!!! What's happened?
Jiminy: [races towards the pool hall] I hope I'm not too late.
Pinocchio: What'll I do! [Suddenly, he sprouts a gray donkey tail, grabs hold of its end, and gasps] Oh!
Pinocchio: Jiminy! Jiminy, help!
Jiminy: Wait, Pinoke! The kids! The boys! They're all donkeys! [Gasps] You, too! [Pinocchio nods] C'mon, quick, before you get any worse. [They run away as Lampwick is still kicking and screaming. They run out over a cliff] This way, Pinoke. It's the only way out. Move it! Hurry up.... umph... before they see us. You gotta jump. [They plunge into the water and swim far away from Pleasure Island and get up on dry land and head back to the workshop]
[Pinocchio, having heard that Geppetto is alive after getting swallowed by Monstro, takes off to save him]
Jiminy Cricket: [following after Pinocchio] Hey, where ya goin'?
Pinocchio: I'm going to find him!
Jiminy Cricket: But, Pinoke, are you crazy? Don't you realize that he's in the whale?
[Pinocchio keeps going straight to a high cliff overlooking the ocean, Jiminy following all the way]
Jiminy Cricket: But this Monstro, I've heard o'him; he's a whale of a whale! [Pinocchio starts tying a rock to his donkey tail] Why, he swallows whole ships alive! [He then helps tie Pinocchio's tail to the rock completely] Tie it good and tight, now. And besides, it's dangerous! Why, I--
Pinocchio: [extends a hand for a handshake from Jiminy] Good-bye, Jiminy.
Jiminy Cricket: Good-bye? I may be live bait down there, but I'm with ya! C'mon. [hops onto the rock and holds his nose] Let's go. [screams bloody murder as they jump deep down off the cliff] LOOK OUT BELO-OO-OWW!!!! [they enter the ocean with a gigantic splash, and the rock attached to Pinocchio's tail leads them to the ocean floor]
On Pinocchio, you mentioned something about pilot animation, and supervising animation. Finch's book [The Art of Walt Disney] is wrong on that—it depends on who the hell you interview. Everyone has his own little thing, and I think that the tendency among all these guys is to make themselves as important as they possibly can. I think Frank Thomas and Freddy Moore and I don't know who else were involved in experimenting around with Pinocchio. Maybe Ollie Johnston, but Johnston was kind of coming up then. So was I, really. I was quite critical of ... I have a knack for alienating people by being a little bit outspoken, and they were rather obsessed with the idea of this boy being a wooden puppet. My God, they even had this midget who did the voice for "call for Phillip Morris" as the voice for a while, and it was terrible. I was rather outspoken about it. Why didn't they forget that he was a puppet and get a cute little boy, you can always draw the wooden joints and make him a wooden puppet afterwards. And Ham Luske said, "Well, why don't you do something about it, do a scene," and I did one. What I don't remember is whether they had a new voice by then or not. Probably they did have; I don't know. I did a scene of Pinocchio underwater with the jackass ears, knocking on a shell of an oyster, saying, "Pardon me, can you tell me where I can find Monstro the whale?" The shell closed up and caused a swell in the current, which affected Pinocchio. I made kind of a cute little boy out of him, and Walt loved it; this was actually my big chance. It was my move into being one of the top animators.