Phoenix (Australian TV series)

Phoenix is an Australian crime drama television series broadcast by the Australian Broadcasting Corporation from 1992 to 1993. It was created by Alison Nisselle and Tony McDonald.

Series 1

Top Quality Crims [1x01]

Jock Brennan: Two minutes, two bloody minutes is all it took him.

Lochie Renford: Yeah, He's getting a bit good, isn't he.

Jock Brennan: Yeah, it's too good. It's a bloody embarrassment, a little shithead like Johnny pissing all over us. I'll have him just for that.

Lochie Renford: Oh, now, now, boss. Just 'cause he's an evil guilty snot doesn't mean we can persecute him, you know.

Jock Brennan: Persecute him? I'll do him for the lot.

Peter Faithful: If his mum dosen't get you first.

Superintendent Wallace: I'm not saying back off. I'm saying we have to cover the ground with a little more delicacy.

Jock Brennan: What the hell does that mean?

Superintendent Wallace: Keep your bloody hands off the Mercers. Unless you're damn sure about your information.

Jock Brennan: Catch 'em but don't upset 'em? That's even bigger bullshit than this.

Superintendent Wallace: I know. But that's my instructions from upstairs. They're concerned we're looking like thugs.

Jock Brennan: He's gone too far, Wal - pinching police guns, two armed hold-up definites, one possible, and Fat Alice crying her black heart out on the telly. It's getting out of hand.

Superintendent Wallace: Tell me about it. Bloody crooks don't know they're crooks anymore. They think they're a goddamn political movement.

Jock Brennan: Then tell the big girls upstairs to piss off.

[Superintendent Wallace signals "no" to Jock]

Jock Brennan: Thank's for the backup, sir.

Superintendent Wallace: Watch your step out there, it's getting tricky.

[Superintendent Wallace leaves Jock's office, Lochie comes in]

Lochie Renford: What he have to say for himself?

Jock Brennan: Nothing he'll own up to.

Superintendent Wallace: Dave Turner was definitely consorting?

Jock Brennan: Face to face.

Superintendent Wallace: Oh, it's pretty damn slim.

Jock Brennan: Come on, sir. Dave's Johnny Mercer's brother-in-law, for christ's sake. And he just whacked eight grand clean cash into his bank account.

Superintendent Wallace: Oh, I don't know.

Lochie Renford: Where'd he get that sort of money? He's a chippie.

Superintendent Wallace: A chippie with a proper job, betting slips to cover the cash. Never been in one scrap of trouble.

Jock Brennan: Not anymore.

Superintendent Wallace: What did BCI say?

Lochie Renford: Well, the dogs have had him under serveilance for weeks sir. No sign of Johnny, but Fat Alice has dropped in a couple of times.

Superintendent Wallace: Hmm. No law against visiting a daughter.

Jock Brennan: There is if you handing over the proceeds of an armed robbery. Can we hands-on Dave Turner or not?

Jock Brennan: Didn't take him [Goose] long to squawk.

Superintendent Wallace: He's got reason, continuity of forensic evidence matters when you get into court.

Jock Brennan: Come on, Wal. You're a lawyer. What matters when you get to court is whether the jury likes his face or not.

Superintendent Wallace: That sort of cynicism makes us look like yobbos.

Jock Brennan: They wouldn't trust forensic as far as they could piss, and neither do I. Only a fool trusts what he is not equipped to question.

Superintendent Wallace: Alright. I take your point. He's a bright boy with a hot track record.

Jock Brennan: CSIRO and the Army.

Superintendent Wallace: They're bloody good credentials for us.

Jock Brennan: Not when it's the kind of obnoxious prick that's gonna get right up the jury's nose.

Superintendent Wallace: [shrugs] Oh, he's settling in. Give him a little headroom.

Jock Brennan: I can't let Forensics lead the investigation.

Superintendent Wallace: I should bloody well hope not.

Jock Brennan: That's what he wants. In first.

Superintendent Wallace: We're not having that. Just make better use of him. Get him in early. Let him run with it. You've got nothing to lose.

Jock Brennan: That's what they said to Lindy Chamberlin. [walks into elevator]

Superintendent Wallace: That's a bloody cheap shot. Our forensic people had a hand in overturning her conviction. You might like to remember that.

Jock Brennan: He's a metallurgist, not a blood man. And he's 10 years of being good at that, if ever.

[elevator door closes]

Jock Brennan: I'm disappointed in you. I never thought to see you in here.

Dave Turner: I don't know why I am.

Jock Brennan: I thought you had enough sense to stay away from the family business.

Dave Turner: You know I've got nothing to do with any of that.

Jock Brennan: Well, that's not strictly true, is it, anymore?

Dave Turner: What the fuck could I do? He turned up on the bloody doorstep. I told her I didn't want him there, but it's her house too, you know.

Jock Brennan: I've gotta hand it to you. Most crooks kick off with a few car thefts, the odd burgulary. They work their way up. Not you. You jump straight in the big time.

Dave Turner: What are you talking about?

Jock Brennan: Not many try an armed hold-up as their first offense.

Dave Turner: (laughs) Oh. Jesus. You gotta be jokin'.

Jock Brennan: No.

Dave Turner: Don't look at me. Ask Johnny's bloody brother about it.

Jock Brennan: I did. STD. Didn't Alice tell you he's in the remand yard in Long Bay? He's been there a couple of months.

Dave Turner: Look, I don't know about any of this.

Jock Brennan: Neither does he. But we both know he's not lying, don't we, Mr. Turner?

Jock Brennan: The silly prick [Goose] thinks he's got it sewn up. He's got no idea.

Superintendent Wallace: Hasn't he been to court for Homicide yet?

Jock Brennan: Adjourned.

Superintendent Wallace: Oh. I thought they would've broken him in.

Jock Brennan: No. He's a gold-plated virgin that think's it's all true just because he says so.

Superintendent Wallace: Well, you'll have to get him into shape, won't ya?

Jock Brennan: Oh, christ.

Ian "Goose" Cochrane: Ok. We've got fragments of glass, as embedded in the head of the sledgehammer, which has the same chemical comp-.

Jock Brennan: [interrupts] Hang on - glass stuck in steel?

Ian "Goose" Cochrane: Yeah, and it's got the same chemical composition as...

Jock Brennan: [interrupts] Look, even if that were possible, can you identify the glass as being the same as that in the factory window?

Ian "Goose" Cochrane: Nope. Of course not.

Jock Brennan: Well, what use is it? The sledgehammer might have easily dropped on a Coke bottle and you could be damn sure that's what he'll say.

Ian "Goose" Cochrane: Now, look - will you listen to me? The glass fragments has the same chemical composition, the same refractive index, the same optical characteristics as the glass from our window. It's toughened glass.

Jock Brennan: What does that mean in plain English?

Ian "Goose" Cochrane: It's not the sort of glass they use in bottles or your average window.

Jock Brennan: What is it used for?

Ian "Goose" Cochrane: Security. It's impact resistant.

Carol Cochrane: In comic-book parlance, bulletproof glass.

Jock Brennan: [to Goose] Well, why didn't you say so?

Carol Cochrane: [to Goose] He means explain it for morons, dear. [to Jock] The jury system being what it is...

Jock Brennan: How'd this [letter] get in?

Peter Faithful: The courier.

Jock Brennan: That's great. Your divorce papers lobbed on you at work. The last act of revenge.

Peter Faithful: Oh, maybe. Or maybe she just didn't want you to come home at midnight and find him in the letterbox.

Christmas in July [1x02]

Superintendent Wallace: Jesus, Jock. What's the town coming to?

Jock Brennan: Maybe we don't know anymore. Any word from the police surgeon?

Superintendent Wallace: One officer dead. Policewoman critical. There were other injuries. No civillian casualties, thank God. The chief thinks it's terrorists.

Jock Brennan: That's a good a guess as any I've heard tonight.

Superintendent Wallace: It looks like a car bomb.

Jock Brennan: What do you think, Wal?

Superintendent Wallace: You go first.

Jock Brennan: It's not the bloody Masons.

Superintendent Wallace: No.

Jock Brennan: It'll be a payback of some [inaudible].

[Jock and Supt. Wallace leave the elevator and begin walking down the corridor]

Superintendent Wallace: Put the gun away. I want an open mind on it.

Jock Brennan: That's why you picked me?

Superintendent Wallace: The public will be right onto this one. The press. Kill a cop and they go berserk. No aggrivation, no wrong doors. No stuff-ups. No bloody avalanche of complaints.

Jock Brennan: He's probably out there in a pub somewhere having a bloody beer.

Ian "Goose" Cochrane: I hate 'em, you know. I hate bombers. Remote control killing.

Jock Brennan: Why'd you join the army, then?

Ian "Goose" Cochrane: Oh, I like blowing things up, just not people. Beautiful things, explosives. Raw energy. Concentrated.

Jock Brennan: You're a problem, Goose.

Ian "Goose" Cochrane: Yep, I don't like bombers. [takes a sip of beer] Soft targets make good receptors. Forensic analyst in Northern Ireland told me that.

Jock Brennan: Well, he wasn't bloody wrong. [final line of the episode]

Hard Ball [1x13]

Lochie Redford: Oi! D.C.'s on his way down, get those bloody cans out of sight, I'll head him off.

[Everyone quickly hides their cans of beer, Superintendent Wallace and Deputy Commissioner enter the room]

Deputy Commissioner: [to Jock] Inspector, [shakes Jock's hand] bloody good job. Excellent result.

Jock Brennan: Thank you sir, they did a good job. [pointing to everyone else]

Deputy Commissioner: [to Everyone] The Chief's on his way down to give you a proper wrap, but I just wanted you to know, you've made every copper on the force's day today. [to Jock] If I can just have a quick word with you?

Jock Brennan: Sir.

[Jock and the Deputy Commissioner walk to his office while everyone else resume their celebration]

Deputy Commissioner: I meant what I just said, Jock, I just want you to know that.

Jock Brennan: I do, sir.

Deputy Commissioner: I hope so, been a torrid investigation. More than the usual quota of complaints. Out of my hands, I'm afraid. IID want to see you first thing Monday morning.

Jock Brennan: I see, sir.

[the Deputy Commissioner nods at Jock, and walks out of his office]

Deputy Commissioner: Ready to go, Wal?

[the Deputy Commissioner and Superintendent Wallace leave the squad room, Jock walks out of his office and rejoins his team]

Lochie Redford: What the hell was that about?

Jock Brennan: Oh, the usual. Well done, and the toe-cutters will see ya monday morning.

[Everyone laughs, Peter grabs his can of beer]

Peter Faithful: WELL THAT'S IT!! THE JOB'S FUCKED!!! [final line of the first series]

[Everyone cheers]

Series 2

Victims Forever [2x01]

[Peter enters Adrian's office, Adrian hangs up the office phone.]

Adrian Moon: [inaudable] ...coming out of the woodwork.

Peter Faithful: Sorry to drag you out of bed.

Adrian Moon: Not a problem.

Peter Faithful: So where's everyone else?

Adrian Moon: You're looking at them.

Peter Faithful: Well, who's going to follow up the sightings?

Adrian Moon: If there any worthwhile, the uniform boys.

Peter Faithful: I can't rely on them, we might get our first description, we might get a fix on where they're at. Now I believe we need another crew.

Adrian Moon: No can do.

Peter Faithful: Look, they could still be out there driving around in the bloody thing.

Adrian Moon: Too many 'if's and 'could be's. They'd probably just dump it an extra block away. We've found a broken down getaway car yet? Until then, I'm doing what I can.

Peter Faithful: So, what did the DDI say?

Adrian Moon: It's not up to him.

Peter Faithful: No, it's up to the Senior Sergeant to make an reasonable operational decision.

Adrian Moon: I don't care if you think I'm being unreasonable. I'm not going to pull in an off-duty crew, on a long shot.

Peter Faithful: Oh, the last bloke that sat in that chair would've.

Adrian Moon: Well maybe that's why you were shanghaied.

Peter Faithful: Oh, and we wouldn't want that happening to you now, would we?

[Peter storms out of Adrian's office, Adrian follows suit.]

Adrian Moon: Just because you're carrying a load, don't think you can get over that sort of garbage with me.

Superintendent Wallace: What's the problem?

Peter Faithful: Well sir, I basically need to talk to you about what is happening downstairs. I keep hitting a wall of frustration. I'm getting hampered, I can't get things done.

Superintendent Wallace: Well, what do you mean?

Peter Faithful: Every time I ask him something, he turns me down flat.

Superintendent Wallace: Well, when you say 'he'?

Peter Faithful: The new Senior Sergeant. Look, he is supposed to look out for us, keep us going, not stuff us up just for the sake of it. Now, with respect sir, I don't think that he understands the way that we operate. Now, going by the book may be ok for the SOG. But for Major Crime, you know just as well as I, it doesn't operate that way.

Superintendent Wallace: Don't tell me what I think, Peter. Or I might start reminding you how far out of line you are.

Peter Faithful: I realize that, sir. But I don't have an Inspector, I didn't have a lot of choice.

Superintendent Wallace: The only thing that I can say is that Senior Sergeant Moon is doing his job.

Peter Faithful: Look. but is he right for it? I'm not say that he's a bad bloke.

Superintendent Wallace: I know what you're saying, but I'm telling you he is doing the job that he is told to do.

Peter Faithful: Told to do?

Superintendent Wallace: If you'd stop to think, you might have wondered whether he was simply working on instructions from higher up.

Peter Faithful: But that would go against everything that we've been set up for.

Superintendent Wallace: Times change, Peter. Pull the blinkers off.

Deal or Pay [2x02]

Peter Faithful: Oh, I bet you he enjoyed shitcanning the hell out of us up there.

Andrew "Fluff" Saunders: Wouldn't have to bloody lift fast enough, mate.

Adrian Moon: Oh, who gives a stuff.

Andrew "Fluff" Saunders: We do. Bloody toe-cutters and the majors, Jesus Christ. Hey, you wouldn't have any coin on you, would you Mooney?

Adrian Moon: Yeah, sure. What for?

Andrew "Fluff" Saunders: Phone call, mate.

Peter Faithful: Not gonna ring your wife, are ya? She'll faint.

Andrew "Fluff" Saunders: Nah, gonna ring old Barry's missus, mate. Fuck him.

[Fluff walks off]

Adrian Moon: Well, I'm not gonna stop him.

Peter Faithful: Well, don't look at me. [final line of the episode]

Hit, Shit and Scatter [2x13]

[Superintendent Wallace is on the phone in his office, Jock's in the office as well]

Superintendent Wallace: We got an ID on him? Yeah, right. Any sign of movement there? Not Yet. Look, keep the leash in and I'll get back to you. [hangs up the phone]

Jock Brennan: One of their targets?

Superintendent Wallace: The other breaker, Homicide are onto it.

Jock Brennan: Sounds like a reasonable note to close the book on.

Superintendent Wallace: You've gotta be joking. We're not walking from these pricks now?

Jock Brennan: I'd seriously consider it. The Ag Burgs have stopped, the reciever's been charged, one of the breakers is inside, and the other turned up dead. Quit while you're ahead, Wal.

Superintendent Wallace: Ahead? We've got chicken-feed, what about the bastards above them?

Jock Brennan: You've got bugger-all to tie them in.

Superintendent Wallace: I don't agree.

Jock Brennan: Use your head, Wal. It's too late. The team's up to its neck in shit.

Superintendent Wallace: Jesus wept, we keep laying dead under these complaints, we're going nowhere.

Jock Brennan: That's not a line I'd recommend.

Superintendent Wallace: For christ's sake, Jock. You've got your say, use it.

Jock Brennan: You think I haven't? Open your bloody eyes, look at it. Complaints of assault, one woman out a window, allegations of corruption, arresting and charging a juvenile, even allegations of indecent assault on a female.

Superintendent Wallace: So? It's the same old mud it's always been... Or have you forgotten a few things?

Jock Brennan: Don't throw my past up at me, Wally... Times change.

Superintendent Wallace: You're telling me. We used to treat this sort of garbage with the contempt it deserved.

Jock Brennan: That's not on anymore. Be pissing against the wind trying to fight it.

Superintendent Wallace: Yeah, well don't ask me to lay down and play dead. This operation's not over yet.

Jock Brennan: It might as well be. [stands up from his chair]

Superintendent Wallace: Our D.S. undercover says a contact's still on for the deal. These drugs haven't walked, they're still on the docks.

Jock Brennan: Forget it, it won't help.

Superintendent Wallace: You're gonna stand back and let your own squad go through to the keeper?

[Jock leaves the room]

[the Deputy Commissioner in his office with Superintendent Wallace and Jock]

Deputy Commissioner: For god's sake, Wally. If anyone would've shown me another way out, don't you think I'd have grabbed it?

Superintendent Wallace: There's not one ounce of provable substance to any of this.

Deputy Commissioner: Or most of it perhaps, but it can't be disproved either.

Superintendent Wallace: All due bloody respect, sir. There's no court in the country that would give the nod to that.

Jock Brennan: It's a media standard, not ours, Wal.

Superintendent Wallace: Who the hell's running us, the media? or the force command?

Deputy Commissioner: You think I like disbanding a squad to shut the pricks up?

Superintendent Wallace: I think it'd be more to the point if we stood up to them, sir.

Deputy Commissioner: What the hell you think we've been doing? It's never been this bad. 14 years of Royal Commissions, didn't leave us wearing as much shit with the public as we're wearing now.

Jock Brennan: What can't be disproved tends to stick, Wal. You know that.

Superintendent Wallace: I can't believe you'd be prepared to do something so bloody immoral. Sacrifice 16 members to keep the media off our back.

Deputy Commissioner: Oh christ, if it were that damn simple, we'd be able to piss it off. It's not. This can't go on. It's totally debilitating to every member on the job.

Superintendent Wallace: Throwing the Majors to the wharfs...

Deputy Commissioner: [interrupting] They were given ample warning to pull their heads in and stop the flow of complaints.

Superintendent Wallace: Sit on their hands and squawk about the lack of results.

Deputy Commissioner: No I won't have it, Wally. They're not innocent bystanders in this. We even handpicked the officer and Senior Sergeant, and they still won'tquieten down.

Superintendent Wallace: Well, they don't deserve this sort of flogging.

Deputy Commissioner: None of us do.

[Murdoch leaves his office and walks towards the squad room corridor]

Lew Murdoch: Can I have your attention please? Members of the Major Crime Squad have been requested to remain in the office. The Chief Super's on his way down, he's got an announcement to make.

[Jock enters the squad room]

Jock Brennan: Well I can't say this is something that I'm particularly happy to have to do. You're aware of the current situation, you all know how things have stood for quite some time now. Disbanding a squad's not done lightly, you have been given repeated warnings about the level of complaints, and ample time to settle down and start working within the acceptable limits. You know what the policy is, the "Hit, Shit, and Scatter" way of doing a job's a thing of the past, and anyone who thinks otherwise has just labeled himself a dinosaur. [reading from list] Andrew Saunders, Arson Squad. Anthony Luciano, Fraud Squad. Russell Howie, Armed Robbery. Wayne Anderson, Drug Squad. Cath Darby, Dealer Squad. Adrian Moon, Prison Liason. Peter Faithful, Public Affairs Division. The rest of you report to the Senior Sergeant at St. Kilda C.I. at 09:00 tomorrow morning. You are to clear your desks before you leave tonight. The Major Crime Squad is officially disbanded as of now. It's a pity it had to come to this, but you brought it on yourselves.

[Docket fires his gun at the analog clock in the squad room, briefly frightening everyone in the room]

Russell Howie: Jesus...

[Fluff laughs, Adrian approaches Docket]

Adrian Moon: You alright, Docket?

Anthony "Docket" Luciano: I'm just a dinosaur, aren't I?

[Adrian takes the gun off of Docket]

Andrew "Fluff" Saunders: You're just a gun-toting little turd, mate. That's what you are. [laughs]

Peter Faithful: Well, that's it, I'm going out to get shitfaced!

Cath Darby: Wait for me.

Andrew "Fluff" Saunders: Yeah, I'll come with ya mate,

[Peter and Fluff put their suit jackets on, everyone begins to leave]

Andrew "Fluff" Saunders: [coughs] I'll tell ya what... [to Adrian] Mooney, can I cop a lift with you?

Adrian Moon: Yeah sure mate, I've got the squad car.

Peter Faithful: Well, you may as well keep it, Mooney, 'cause there isn't a squad.

Andrew "Fluff" Saunders: Why is that?

Peter Faithful: The job's fucked! [final line of the series]

[Fluff laughs]

Cast

Main

Paul Sonkkila - Jock Brennan (Main: series 1; Also starring: series 2)
Sean Scully - Ian "Goose" Cochrane
Andy Anderson - Lochie Renford (series 1)
Peter Cummins - Superintendent Wallace
Simon Westaway - Peter "Noddy" Faithful
Nell Feeney - Megan Edwards (series 1)
Susie Edmonds - Carol Cochrane
Tony Poli - Lazarus "Laz" Carides (series 1)
Stuart McCreery - Adrian Moon (series 2)
David Bradshaw - Andrew "Fluff" Saunders (Also starring: series 1; Main: series 2)
Jennifer Jarman-Walker - Cath Darby (series 2)
Vikki Blanche - Chris Faithful (series 2)

Also starring

Kevin Summers - Colin Toohey (series 1)
Dominic Sweeney - Wheels (series 1)
George Vidalis - Mick (series 1)
Todd Telford - Dennis (series 1)
Patrick Ward - Blazo (series 1)
Nicholas Politis - Nick (series 1)
Peter McCauley - Lew Murdoch (series 2)
David Roberts - Robert Howie (series 2)
Keith Agius - Anthony "Docket" Luciano (series 2)
Bob Halsall - Boomer (series 2)
Russell Fletcher - Kermie (series 2)
Greg Scealey - Fish (series 2)