Petrolheads

Petrolheads is a BBC panel game hosted by Neil Morrissey, with team captains Richard Hammond and Chris Barrie. The show pits motoring wits against each other and includes car stunts shot on location.

Programme 1

Guests: Philip Glenister, Hugo Speer

Neil Morrissey (Referring to Richard Hammond): Petrolheads; the quiz show with medium ranking movie stars and a corporate whore

Guests: Ronan Keating, Eamonn Holmes

[Hammond realizes he's smashed into his own Dino yellow Ferrari.]

Richard Hammond: Tha-a-t's my car…!

Guests: Edith Bowman, John Gordon Sinclair

[The "Interesting Signs" round features a picture a cow falling off a cliff onto a car.]

Sinclair: Jade Goody rock climbing near here?

[Morrissey prepares for the "Blindfold Parking" round.]

Neil Morrissey: We know this is a dangerous stunt, but it's okay. We have the AA-recommended first-aid kit…

[He shows a bottle of brandy.]

Guests: Murray Walker, James May

May: I would like to declare that you are still a cock, Hammond.

Hammond: That's Captain Cock to you

[Barrie notices after the "Blindfold Parking" round that Hammond has moved the other two cars very close together.]

Chris Barrie: Hang on… one and a half paces compared to about seven when I started? Come on!

[Barrie prepares for the "Mystery Car" round.]

Chris Barrie: Murray, we have to win this. At the end, I don't want Richard going [as Hammond] "It's the only thing I could do!"

Guests: Ricky Tomlinson, James Martin

Guests: John Thomson, Fearne Cotton

[The boys are drooling over a Ford.]

Cotton: It's okay… I was just thinking I need to get some catfood on my way home…

[Morrissey introduces the "Mystery Car" round.]

Neil Morrissey: And now, the only reason Richard Hammond comes here every week…

[A skull sign is featured in the "Interesting Sign" round.]

Richard Hammond: Can I just say that's a rubbish sign? It just means there's something bad… "Random Terrifying Event ahead"!

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Petrolheads