Paul DiLascia

Paul DiLascia (1959 – 3 September 2008) was an American software developer, author, web developer, and editor of the Microsoft Systems Journal column C/C++ Q+A.

Quotes

About Microsoft

• A bug! A bug! Isn’t it just so satisfying to discover bugs in other people’s programs? Especially people from Microsoft. I don’t know why, it’s probably some kind of Freudian code-envy thing.
  • 1995/6
• ...my Trusty Friends in Redmond...
  • 1995/10
• ...perhaps this is a "feature", not a bug....
  • 1995/10

About Code

• To be honest, there's something a little weird about this. (1995/4)
• But hey, I only work here. Besides, it works. (1995/6)
• Pretty simple. Except for one little problem: it doesn't work! (various)
• Reusability, man. (1995/10)
• So? If you don't like it, write your own [program]. (1995/10)
• It may seem kludgy, but hey - it works! (1994/3)
• Don't do it! (1993/10)
• The implementation is brainless (various)
• ...[some code] looks disgusting, but that's life. (1993/6)

About the readers

• ..even MSJ readers will tire of watching Bill Gates adjust his glasses. (1995/10)
• ...why are you doing these things? Don't. (1993/12)
• What are you doing, anyway? Writing code for IBM? (1996/1)
• Stop beating your head, you might hurt yourself. (1995/8)
• ...you'll screw everything up. (1994/10)
• Like I said, you're damned either way. (1993/10)

About himself

• OK, I admit it. I'm like you.
  • 1995/10
• I'm a nit, what can I say? (1994/12)
• I was once hired to develop a Windows-based chemistry library for a company that builds reactors that burn toxic metal waste into harmless substances (really). (1993/11)
• ...I hate typing... (1993/6)

About language

• ...yucky assembly language mucky-muck.
• Isn't C++ wonderful?.
  • 1995/1
• ...this baroque language...
  • on C++, 1994/5
• ...a little-known piece of C++ trivia you can use to impress your friends and loved ones.
  • 1995/6
• ...a fate I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy...
  • on being someone who is writing a C++ compiler, 1993/2

About the Industry

• ...your 90MHz Pentium won't have any trouble doing arithmetic (except for certain divisions).
  • 1995/3

Misc

• The question remains: how?
• ..flibbertiwidgets are free...
  • 1996/8
• ..play Beethovens Fifth Symphony if the user clicks the control that contains 'Da-da-da-dum'
  • 1994/4
• If this code works, it was written by Paul DiLascia. If not, I don't know who wrote it
• ..I'll be laughing when I'm old and and all my programmer friends have gone alexic from staring at too many tiny pixels
  • on using high screen resolutions, 1996/3
• ..your two-year-old could've done that with one thumb in her mouth.
• 1995/12
• ..sometimes you have to be bad
• 1995/12
• Sometimes it really is easy to program MFC
  • 1995/12
• Everything is hunky-dory and your program works fine.
  • 1995/12
• If you're totally confused, don't worry, it means your brain is functioning normally.
• 1995/11
  • Well bowl me over and turn me into a pumpkin! Scrape me off the pavement and fetch my asbestos anti-flame suit, quick!
  • 1995/11
• That's no fun.
  • 1995/10
• ...the harmony of the universe is preserved...
  • 1995/10
• We've use a number of different adjectives to describe Span, but "cool" has never been one of them.
  • 1994/12
• ...blathering store clerks who can't stop saying "Have a nice day"...
  • on annoying behaviour, 1994/5
• That's left as an exercise for the reader.
• You can't expect me to do everything.
  • 1995/7
• ...everything I've said so far is fine and dandy...
  • 1993/6
• Does that remind you of anything? No? Give up?
  • 1993/6