Paul DiLascia

American software developer (1959-2008)

Paul DiLascia (1959 – 3 September 2008) was an American software developer, author, web developer, and editor of the Microsoft Systems Journal column C/C++ Q+A.



About Microsoft

  • A bug! A bug! Isn’t it just so satisfying to discover bugs in other people’s programs? Especially people from Microsoft. I don’t know why, it’s probably some kind of Freudian code-envy thing.
    • 1995/6
  • Trusty Friends in Redmond...
    • 1995/10
  • ...perhaps this is a "feature", not a bug....
    • 1995/10

About Code

  • To be honest, there's something a little weird about this. (1995/4)
  • But hey, I only work here. Besides, it works. (1995/6)
  • Pretty simple. Except for one little problem: it doesn't work! (various)
  • Reusability, man. (1995/10)
  • So? If you don't like it, write your own [program]. (1995/10)
  • It may seem kludgy, but hey - it works! (1994/3)
  • Don't do it! (1993/10)
  • The implementation is brainless (various)
  • ...[some code] looks disgusting, but that's life. (1993/6)

About the readers

  • ..even MSJ readers will tire of watching Bill Gates adjust his glasses. (1995/10)
  • ...why are you doing these things? Don't. (1993/12)
  • What are you doing, anyway? Writing code for IBM? (1996/1)
  • Stop beating your head, you might hurt yourself. (1995/8)
  •'ll screw everything up. (1994/10)
  • Like I said, you're damned either way. (1993/10)

About himself

  • OK, I admit it. I'm like you.
    • 1995/10
  • I'm a nit, what can I say? (1994/12)
  • I was once hired to develop a Windows-based chemistry library for a company that builds reactors that burn toxic metal waste into harmless substances (really). (1993/11)
  • ...I hate typing... (1993/6)

About language

  • ...yucky assembly language mucky-muck.
  • Isn't C++ wonderful?.
    • 1995/1
  • ...this baroque language...
    • on C++, 1994/5
  • ...a little-known piece of C++ trivia you can use to impress your friends and loved ones.
    • 1995/6
  • ...a fate I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy...
    • on being someone who is writing a C++ compiler, 1993/2

About the Industry

  • ...your 90MHz Pentium won't have any trouble doing arithmetic (except for certain divisions).
    • 1995/3


  • The question remains: how?
  • ..flibbertiwidgets are free...
    • 1996/8
  • Beethovens Fifth Symphony if the user clicks the control that contains 'Da-da-da-dum'
    • 1994/4
  • If this code works, it was written by Paul DiLascia. If not, I don't know who wrote it
  • ..I'll be laughing when I'm old and and all my programmer friends have gone alexic from staring at too many tiny pixels
    • on using high screen resolutions, 1996/3
  • ..your two-year-old could've done that with one thumb in her mouth.
  • 1995/12
  • ..sometimes you have to be bad
  • 1995/12
  • Sometimes it really is easy to program MFC
    • 1995/12
  • Everything is hunky-dory and your program works fine.
    • 1995/12
  • If you're totally confused, don't worry, it means your brain is functioning normally.
  • 1995/11
    • Well bowl me over and turn me into a pumpkin! Scrape me off the pavement and fetch my asbestos anti-flame suit, quick!
    • 1995/11
  • That's no fun.
    • 1995/10
  • ...the harmony of the universe is preserved...
    • 1995/10
  • We've use a number of different adjectives to describe Span, but "cool" has never been one of them.
    • 1994/12
  • ...blathering store clerks who can't stop saying "Have a nice day"...
    • on annoying behaviour, 1994/5
  • That's left as an exercise for the reader.
  • You can't expect me to do everything.
    • 1995/7
  • ...everything I've said so far is fine and dandy...
    • 1993/6
  • Does that remind you of anything? No? Give up?
    • 1993/6
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