James: Michael, I hate you for making me say serious things so I will only say this once. You've gone too far with the drugs.
Michael: Have you looked in the mirror lately?
Michael: So. How's the novel coming?
James: I've done another page! But now I think I might have writer's block.
Michael: Two pages in five years?
Michael: So, notice anything different?
James: [looks around] The flies?
Michael: No, seriously James. Anything or anyone missing? Like a drug dealer who used to live here?
James: Well darling that could be anyone. Can I buy a vowel?
Michael: Hi. I'm Michael Alig.
James: Well I'll alert the media. Gotta dash!
Keoki: Are we going far?
Michael: All the way I hope.
James: I know what you need. A nice hot cup of hot chocolate.
Michael: Can you put some ecstasy in mine?
Michael: We're like two peas in a pod, you and I, James.
James: I pity the pod.
Michael: You're the Yoda to my Luke.
James: Excuse me. You're the Paula Abdul to my Janet Jackson.
Michael: That's good, right?
Michael: Our magazine's on the stands today. Can you believe it? Our own magazine!
James: I've already seen it, and there's a problem. A big problem. I've been cut off. [reads from magazine page] "James St. James heads up white slave ring, sells twelve year old boys on Avenue B. Exclusive by Michael Alig." Why, Michael? Why?
Michael: Oh come on Skrink, I think it's funny!
James: My father does not share your sense of humor!
Michael: I didn't know he was a Project X reader!
James: Yes you did, because you sent him a lifetime subscription!
Michael: Angel bailed me out.
Michael: Well, actually, Angel bailed you out.
Michael: Yeah, I told the police I was you.
[James gawks in disbelief]
Michael: Oh James, it's just all in fun. And after I told them you had AIDS, they gave me my own room with a VCR and ice cream!
James: Michael, I don't even like you! I have never liked you!
Talk Show Host: Is it true, ma'am, that your son Michael turned you on to the pill ecstasy?