P-Valley/Season 2

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Season 2

Pussyland [2.01]

Autumn: [To Andre] I guess Chucalissa crept up in my veins like a good vice.

Woddy: Ain't you scared?

Murda: No. I ain't scared of the living.

Autumn: Nothing works. Paint the walls red, bloodstains also bleed back through.

Big Al: Hand me that hex key.

Clifford: Chile, what that is?

Clifford: [To Autumn] Ain't no use in being the richest bitch in the graveyard, Hailey.

Autumn: [To Clifford] I gave you 15 percent of ownership.

Big Al: Is that what getting rid of bodies goes for nowadays? I'm just asking ... for a friend.

Big Al: We got denied a relief loan again, talking about how we non-essential.

Clifford: How is we non-essential? Do they know how many niggas run around here with blue balls?

Clifford: Jupiter, I hope you don't got no baby-daddy drama.

Jupiter: I don't even know who he is so we good.

Mercedes: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

Autumn: C'mon. Last dance.

Mercedes: Sheee-it.

Uncle Clifford: [To patron] I'm gonna need you to come deep inside.

Patron: [To Autumn] You dancin' tonight?

Big Al: You don't want to see that dance.

Autumn: Need a receipt?

Patron: No. Uh-uh. I don't need no evidence.

Big Al: Smart man.

Seven Pounds of Pressure [2.02]

Autumn: [To Andre] I'm waiting on that big-dick offer. You gonna give it?

'Woddy": [To Murda and Big Teak] Somebody's got to be alive to bury y'all.

Clifford: I'm too much of a cat to be fucked by a kitten.

Uncle Clifford: [To Corbin] Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.

Uncle Clifford: It wasn't five years ago that you didn't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of.

Corbin: Well, thank God for dad daddies.

Clifford: And dead mayors too.

Autumn: [To Corbin] We appreciate your low-dick offer.

Uncle Clifford: But we're wondering if there might be some bigger dick out in the sea.

Autumn: Might have gotten us out of a hole. But even the Devil started out as an angel.

Big Al: [To Mercedes] Might have gotten us out of a hole. But even the Devil started out as an angel.

Bailey: Do you ever get (Autumn's) real name?

Keyshawn: You never ask a stripper her real name. If she's gonna give it to you, you gotta earn it.

Uncle Clifford: [To Big Al] Well, tell them we ain't open ... yet.

Corbin: Well, closed legs don't get fed.

Mercedes: I ain't no motherfuckin' coach.

Autumn: You are, actually.

Big Al: Give me your name and give me your number.

Big Bone: They call me Big Bone, baby.

Big Al: Big Bone, meet Big Al.

The Dirty Dozen [2.03]

Murda: You kiss sloppy.

Keyshawn: You welcome, nigga.

Duffy: Your friend [whispers] can't be dropping knowledge like that and walking away.

Roulette: She do that sometimes.

Whisper: You really might be from Hell. You got a lot of darkness in you.

Roulette: Excuse you?

Whisper: That wasn't no shade. We all need a little Hell in our lives. It makes you appreciate the light.

Mercedes: I ain't no ho.

Farrah: You're getting paid $10,000 a weekend to have sex in a condo with my husband, correct? Don't worry. I don't get paid that much and I have to lay under him all fuckin' week. Want to trade places?

Mercedes: Hell, no.

Patrice: [To Wayne] The only reason you on the ballot is because the mayor's dead. But I digress.

Clifford: [To Big Bone] You'd best bring your best poppin' playlist because we opening doors, legs, and wallets...

Clifford: Can't nobody replace Mercedes.

Autumn: Everybody can be replaced.

Clifford: [To Autumn] 69 is a real nice position to take. It shows you can suck it and take it at the same damn time.

Patrice: [To Terrika] You sure look like Mercedes when you lie.

Coach: I don't need the exposure.

Mercedes: But I bet you need that Mercedes experience.

Mercedes: [To Roulette] Mind the business that pays you.

Demethrius [2.04]

Mercedes: [To Autumn] You're an easy bitch to love but an easier bitch to hate.

Clifford: You look like a man whose wife has just cheated on him.

Andre: I am.

Clifford: Well, damn.

Clifford: You need some sugar.

Ernestine: All the sugar I need is that black panther over there.

Farrah: What if I fall?

Mercedes: What if you fly?

Duffy: [To Clifford] You know I got ho's and bro's in all different areas, don't ya?

Farrah: [To Mercedes] So why were you in such a hurry to leave us all high and wet?

Brittany: What you doin', Andre? You ain't gonna win.

Andre: Well, I've certainly got nothing left to lose.

Autumn: Corbin, what's you doing here so early in the morning?

Corbin: It's noon.

Autumn: I guess I'm still on stripper time.

Murda: Woddy, where my promos at?

Woddy: You would look good in some lashes and some nails, too. Uncle Murda is the name.

Ernestine: Well, there goes the 'hood. Well, you just earned me a side of 'not your business' with that salad. Well, I'm going to give it right back to you, topped with a side of jalapenos, because I'm a classy bitch.

Roulette: [To Big L] Well, you just earned me a side of 'not your business' with that salad. Well, I'm going to...

Brazil: 'Lette, I don't know why you complainin'. Work on the street is you got diverse income streams.

Roulette: Bitch, what you talking about?

Clifford: [To Lauren] You that heifer that fell asleep under the table after throwing up her whole divorce...

Lauren: Most importantly, everyone needs to wear a mask at all times.

Uncle Clifford: Don't you see what the fuck's on my face?

White Knights [2.05]

Rome: Don't worry. I already cleared everything with your little Justin Bieber. He's great.

Keyshawn: That wasn't the deal. I gotta get home.

Keyshawn: [To Rome] Rome, can you stop? You makin' me seasick.

Savage [2.06]

Big Bone: Why you don't do security for The Pynk no more? You must have tried to save one of them ho's that wasn't ready to be saved.

Diamond: Who told you that?

Big Bone: Your eyes. They're so heavy that every time you be fuckin' me, they be closed. Next time, I want those chestnut eyes wide open.

Big Bone: What is it?

Diamond: It's protection.

Big Bone: You don't seem like the type of nigger that needs no protection.

Jackson [2.07]

Autumn: [To Clifford] History is important, yes, but so is the future.

Autumn: I thought you ghosted me.

Uncle Clifford: Child, I'm the last ghost you need to be worried about in this here building.

The Death Drop [2.08]

Mercedes: Maybe I ain't meant to fly no more.

Clifford: Niggers come to see you fall, not fly. And your injury ain't in your shoulder. It's in your head.

Uncle Clifford: [To Mercedes] Uh-uh-uh. Ain't no cryin' in The Pynk.

Snow [2.09]

Stripper: Mercedes must get it from her momma.

Andre: Blame my rise in the polls for the passion I have for my hometown.

Newscaster: Or perhaps that stripper magic.

Mississippi Rule [2.10]

Corbin: [To Andre] Don't mind me. Liquor makes me a little cunty.

Brittany: Well, I guess I deserve this, huh?

Andre: Yeah, you fuckin' do.