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Our Idiot Brother

2011 film by Jesse Peretz

Our Idiot Brother is a 2011 American comedy-drama film about an idealistic man who intrudes and wreaks havoc in his three sisters' lives.

Directed by Jesse Peretz. Written by Evgenia Peretz and David Schisgall based on Jesse and Evgenia Peretz's story.
Everybody has one.

Nedrick "Ned" Rochlin

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  • This is like free therapy. New York State cares.
  • I need some leg warmers, my Croc is stuck!
  • [about River] You know, he's just a little boy. Little boys fight. Doesn't mean he's going to grow up to be a frat-boy rapist.
  • I like to think that if you put your trust out there; if you really give people the benefit of the doubt, see their best intentions, people will rise to the occasion.

Natalie "Nat" Rochlin

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  • [on the phone, to Cindy's voicemail] I know you're not gonna call me back but... Hum, one more thing, remember that time I missed your awards dinner? Well, hum, I wasn't really working. I was at home watching Kourtney and Kim Take New York... I'm sorry, hum... What else?

Other

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  • River Anderson: Go fuck yourselves!

Dialogue

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Billy: Nothing like two dudes and a dog making candles.
Ned: Such a cliché.
Jeremy: [referring to Ned not being able to go through with a 3-way with a man and a woman] Just because you're straight doesn't mean you're homophobic.
Ned: [feeling ashamed of himself] I don't know, maybe I should have tried harder.
Ned: [working with Billy in their new recycled candle shop] Anyway, what I was saying though, is that people recycle cans, they recycle papers, you know... why not, why not candles? I say, we put a bin out, let people bring their old drippings in their convenience.
Billy: It's like those, those bags, that say - I used to be a plastic bottle. We can have a bin that say - I used to be another candle!
Ned: That's a great idea. Yeah. And then when they bring those candles, we put them in another bin that say - I used to be another candle.
Billy: Yeah... and eventually we can just have one that say - "Trust me, I used to be a lot of candles!"
Ned: [agreeing, amused by the idea] I was a ton... I used to be a lot of candles!
Billy: [still revising his literary contribution] Trust me, man... I have been other candles!
Ned: [looking for his dog Willie Nelson] Hey, man, have you seen Willie Nelson?
Billy: Oh, Yeah, definitely.
Ned: When?
Billy: [realizing what was actually asked] Oh, you mean recently? I just meant, in general, I have seen him!
Ned: Okay, I, I really didn't want to get litigious, but I brought a lawyer.
Cindy: [off-screen, shouting into the phone] Well, I am sorry I don't have a big, throbbing cock for you!
Janet: That's some Ivy League shit out there, man.
Omar: [speaking extremely slowly] I'm Officer Omar Coleman. I'm your parole officer.
Ned: I'm Ned Rochlin. Why are you talking so slow?
Omar: [now speaking normally] I just figured, looking at your sheet, that since you sold grass to a uniformed police officer that you must be retarded.
Ned: Yeah, I get that a lot.
Ned: Hey, you know, I've been meaning to tell you. You're doing a really good thing here, Omar. Seriously. I mean you talk to us screw-ups, you give us a reason for getting out of bed in the morning.
Omar: Thanks, man. So you get out of bed in another three weeks, okay?
Ned: I'll do it.
Omar: I appreciate the compliment. It's rare that we get love from the clients.
Ned: Well, you're a good dude. And I just needed this appointment today, I'm having a tough go of it. I swear, I try and do good, but I just fuck it up. Man, I fucked it up with my sisters, I'm back living with my mom. On top of it all, I broke down and smoked a joint with the kid that lives across the street from me.
Omar: Okay, I didn't just hear that.
Ned: I said I broke down and smoked a joint with the kid that lives across the stre...
Omar: What are you doing? Hey! Ned, why are you telling me this?
Ned: I just need to unload, man. That's part of why I'm here, right?
Omar: I'm not your therapist, Ned. You don't tell your parole officer you got high. Now I have to report you or I could lose my job.
Ned: Seriously? Can you forget I said that?
Omar: No, Ned, I can't.
Ned: Aw, shit.
Janet: I am not going to stand here and be insulted on my own porch.
Miranda: I'll insult you right here.
Janet: Okay, I'm a pacifist. I don't play that way.
Miranda: I'm gonna peace you in the side of the head you don't give us the dog.

[sic]

Janet: I'm not going to receive that with anything but love.

Cast

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