Observe and Report

Observe and Report (2009) is a black comedy film written and directed by Jody Hill, starring Seth Rogen and Anna Faris.

Ronnie Barnhart

• That's a big question now, isn't it? I have a dream... most nights. It starts on a playground; there's kids, you know swinging, laughing. Dogs barking, butterflies flapping their wings. And then you hear a rumbling. And over the horizon comes a black cloud. And it's made of cancer. And pus. And it starts sweeping over the playground and everyone starts screaming and clawing their eyes, pulling at their hair and saying "Help! What do we do?!" You know what happens next? Out steps me, wielding the biggest fucking shotgun you've ever seen in your life, and you know what I do? I blow every-fucking-thing away. I am getting God's work done. When the whole thing is over and the dust has settled, the whole world gathers below me, and they say "Thank you, Ronnie, thank you for helping, being a great man, and doing this for us!" And you know what I say? "You don't need to thank me. I'm just a guy with a gun. I'm just a cop."

• In these dark times, people need something to believe in. I believe that good will win through in the end. It's only a matter of time until the clouds part and the sun shines... I'm gonna start that again. It's only a matter of time until the clouds part and the sun shines down. They'll be here soon and my mission will be complete. I will leave a mark so big that it will be felt for years to come... ...and history will remember my name. There's no turning back. I must stand fast in my resolve. The world has no use for another scared man. Right now, the world needs a fucking hero.

• Sit the fuck down do you hear me you sit the fuck down. Don't fucking talk back to me. That's what the fuck I thought you little asshole.

(later)

Boom. Fuck you

Boom Baby!!

External links

• Observe and Report quotes at the Internet Movie Database
• Observe and Report at Rotten Tomatoes