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Nutty Professor 2

2000 film by Peter Segal

Nutty Professor II: The Klumps is a 2000 science fiction comedy film directed by Peter Segal, the sequel to the 1996 remake of the 1963 film. It stars Eddie Murphy and Janet Jackson.

The Klumps are back!(taglines)

Sherman Klump

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  • You know it's funny how you get used to certain things in life. You get used to being overweight. I did. You even get used to people making fun of you. Somewhere along the line I got used to being alone. And I just don't want to be alone anymore.
  • [Has lost all of his intelligence. Denise asks him to tell her who she is] Ah, pretty lady!
  • [To Denise] I never... never wanted to hurt you. Understand? I thought that if you knew Buddy was a part of me, you wouldn't have me.

Dean Richmond

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  • Deals come and go. Wellman will always be Wellman. But you know what bothers me? I walk down the street and this cute little boy says, "Look Mommy, there goes the Hamster's BITCH!"
  • "I'm not that kind of... [screaming] GUUUUUUUUUUUY!!!!!!"

Buddy Love

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  • [Sherman, losing his intelligence, misspells "Shit" S-H-I-T-E] Oh, ho-ho-ho. My shite?
  • Oh, you bastard! [sees a rubber ball, because his body has dog DNA]
  • [after catching a rubber ball filled with youth formula] What the hell is that?! (Sherman: Who's dumb now?) Oh, Sherman. Oh, you sneaky son of a bitch! Oh, Sherman...! [turning into a baby] Oh, SHIT! Uh, uh, everyone calm down! Just calm down, this is a part of the demonstration! Just calm-- Relax! everything is under control. [woman stares at his penis] What the hell are you looking at?! This is an impressive package for a toddler!

Klump Family

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Papa Klump: [Making Sherman drink the water Buddy evaporated in. Pulls his head out] What's your mama's middle name? [Sherman mumbles] Hell no, that ain't it! [Pushes his head back in]
Granny: The other day I got out the shower and I bend down to reach for a towel, and I felt a sharp pain in my chest. Shot through my chest and up around my shoulder and down my spine. I thought "Oh, Lord." I thought I was dying. I bent over and looked, and I was standing on my own titty.
Granny Klump: Hey Cletus, who that there piece of spaghetti remind you of? Maybe Mr. Johnson perhaps?
Ernie: [the chorus just finished singing 'Happy Day'] Happy day, happy day, happy day my ass.
Cletus: [Isaac, Granny's boyfriend, walks to the dinner table] Well if it isn't the world's oldest living Negro! Hey how's things going on the Underground Railroad Isaac?
Mama Klump: [after being rejected of sexual intercourse with Cletus] What about Viagra?
Cletus: Viagra don't work on me no more. Been taking them like M&M's!

Dialogue

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Sherman Klump: Buddy Love, I am SICK, and TIRED, of your S-H...
Dean Richmond: "I"
Sherman Klump: Thank you. T-E!
Buddy Love: Oh, ho-ho-ho. My shite?
[Sherman is serenading Denise with the assistance of a Mariachi band]
Sherman: Denise will you...
Buddy: Hey Sherman. You hear me Sherman?
Sherman: ...Denise will ya...will ya...let me come up there and put my beef in your taco?
Mexican band: "...Put the beef in your taco!
Denise: What?
Sherman: [Buddy cackles, Sherman's conscious comes back] Oh, no! No, no, no! (Chuckles) That's not what I meant to say, Denise! That was just a little joke! I just wanted to see if you wanted to go out and get some Mexican food. That's why I said that.
Denise: ...Well I am kind of hungry, but I'm not...
Sherman: Yeah, you are huh? Yeah, I bet you could stand for a big ole whopper right now, huh?
Mexican band: "...A big ole whopper right now!
Neighbor: You're sick!
Sherman: Yeah, I got to tell you, I'm a Jumbo Jack man myself, if you know what I mean. Yeah and I'm loaded with secret sauce! Yeah, come on!
[Sherman does a perverted dance in front of a shocked Denise, and falls to the ground, sexually humping it.]
Neighbor: You're gonna ruin my lawn, you pervert!
Granny: You better eat up Isaac, 'cause you gonna need your strength. Yeah, later on, me and Isaac gonna watch "Mating Season on the Serengeti." Doesn't take a lot to get Isaac going.
Cletus: Timeout! Let me call a timeout on that.
Anna: Lord, my, my.
Cletus: I don't want to hear about you old-ass geriatrics.
Granny: Oh, yeah Cletus? Me and Isaac might be dried up geriatrics, but ain't nothing wrong with Isaac's love tackle.
[Table falls silent].
Ernie: Oh snap now.
Granny: What's a matter Cletus, cat got your tongue? Did I step on a nerve Cletus? I got ya, got ya, got ya!
Granny: Come on Cletus, come on right now! But I'm gonna tell you something, I gotta a razor in this here bag.
Cletus: Oh yeah? Well let me tell you something, that ain't even no bag you got in your hand, that's your titty.
Anna: Cletus!
Cletus: What are you talkin' about? She is an old bag with titties.
Anna: Jesus!
Cletus: Old bag with old bag titties!
Anna: Damn it, Cletus! Don't you mind?
Ernie (quietly to Ernie Jr.): Heh, he called Grandma a titty bag!
Granny: [to Cletus] Death!
Granny: The other day I got out the shower and I bend down to reach for a towel, and I felt a sharp pain in my chest. Shot through my chest and up around my shoulder and down my spine. I thought "Oh, Lord." I thought I was dying. I bent over and looked, and I was standing on my own titty.
Anna: You don't need a breast reduction, just be more careful.
Granny: Both feet too, both feet.
Grandma Klump: Does Cletus know I'm strapped?
Cletus: Come on, shoot.
Grandma Klump: I'm strapped, nigga!
Denise: [persistent] Sherman, look at me! Who am I?
Sherman: Ah, pretty lady!
Denise: [sobbing] Oh, honey! It's going to be okay, I'll take care of you.
Sherman: [at same time] Yeah, nice lady!
Cletus: Come on, let's get him home.
Anna: [Answering door] Oh my goodness! Is there a fire?
Fireman Stripper: Yes ma'am. I'm afraid there is.
Anna: I don't smell no smoke. [sniffs]
Fireman Stripper: [Walks in and beings playing music from stereo] There's a fire in my pants, and it's getting muy caliente! [begins stripping]
Party guests, Bridesmaid and Denise: Ooh! [laugh and clap]

Outtakes

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Anna: Oh...[more forcefully] Cletus!

Taglines

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  • The Klumps are back!
  • Eddie Murphy Is The Klumps

Cast

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