Nothing to Lose
1997 comedy film by Steve Oedekerk
Nothing to Lose is a 1997 comedy film starring Martin Lawrence and Tim Robbins. The film was directed by Steve Oedekerk who also wrote the film and made a cameo appearance as a lip-synching security guard in the film.
- Directed and written by Steve Oedekerk.
- Boy, did you pick the wrong guy on the wrong day
- I'm married.
- Welcome to hell, bitch! Car keys, wallet, now! (no response) You hear what I said? Alright, now you listen and you listen good. This a gun. Alright? Don't be fuckin' around with no gun, white boy. (still no response) Helen Keller, I'm talkin' to you! (imitating a deaf person) I know you hear what the fuck I'm sayin' to you!
- Alright man, you win, is that what you want to hear you win. (Nick starts slapping himself) What the fuck? Hey man, you ain't one of them desert slashers, are you? Cut a person's body up and leave it out in the desert in little tiny pieces and shit, huh? Oh, shit! We are in the fuckin' desert! I'm in the car with a psycho freaky Jason hack-killer motherfucker! Please don't kill me, freaky Jason. I said, please don't kill me, freaky Jason! (Nick just looks at him) I done fucked around and caught a ride with the wrong white boy!
- T: So what's the problem?
- Nick: Why do you care?
- T: I'm curious. I'm a student of human nature.
- Nick: You're a freak of human nature.
- T: That's all right. I forgive you. It's clear you have woman problems.
- Nick: You're way off base.
- T: Oh, I'm off base?
- Nick: Yeah, WAY off base.
- T: She mess around on you?
- Nick: Look, even if I wanted to talk about it - which I don't - it wouldn't be with you.
- T: You give her some nastiness? I know you gave her some serious nastiness.
- Nick: Just forget it.
- T: What about him? You fuck him up? You whoop his ass? I bet you hit that motherfucker with a bat, didn't you? Kling! Bah! Fucked his ass up, didn't you? Wait a minute! You capped him! You capped that motherfucker, that's why you're out here in the desert, ain't ya?
- Nick: Look, I didn't shoot him. I didn't say anything to my wife, I just left.
- T: What you mean, you just left.
- Nick: I just left, okay, I saw them doing... you know, and I... walked away.
- T: What a pussy. no wonder your woman is sneaking behind your back, man. You know what your problem is, you don't have the respect of you're woman man. That's what it is. Me? I got all that. I come home, my dinner's on the table. BAM! "I don't wanna hear shit, woman." And when I want lovin', when I'm in the mood, I get that too.
- Nick: You're so full of shit! What would you have done?
- T: Man, I'd have gone back into that house, and pulled a Terminator on the front door, boom boom boom! Who the fuck you think you're playin' with woman! Who do you think I am, some fruity pie? I ain't no fruity pie, I'm... (T picks up Nick's card) I'm Nick Beam. that's what I tell you, I'm Nick Beam. And Nick Beam ain't putting up with that bullshit! She be cryin' you know, 'Oh Nick, please take me back, please, it was only one time'. I'm gonna "one time" your ass! Nick Beam is the m aster of his fate, the ruler of his destiny. So if you want to cry on someone's shoulder, why don't you cry on Super Dick! As for Nick Beam, I'm fit, lit, and I damn sure ain't takin' no shit. So you...can get the FUCK...OUT! (pauses) That's what I'd have told the bitch. (T points the eggs with fork) That's what I told the bitch.
- (T eats the eggs with a fork). (Nick stares at him for a second and he lunges over the table and chokes him)
- Nick: That's not the point, it's beetle-headed! It's only a matter of time before you do get caught!
- T: What, is beetle-headed?
- Nick: It's a synonym for stupid.
- T: Oh, well here's a synonym for procreation: fuck you!
- T: It's easy for you to point the finger when you're sitting on your rich ass in the big fuckin' house!
- Nick: I'm not rich.
- T: Oh, yeah? How big's your TV?
- Nick: What?
- T: I say, how big is your tv?
- Nick: 50 inch.
- T: (laughs) Get in the car, man.
- Nick: Oh please, let's not make this a social issue. The point is, that even if you wanted to rob a place, there are smarter ways to do it.
- T: Enlighten me.
- Nick: A mask! Wear a mask! You see, the police have this thing called a line-up, and when somebody recognizes you, YOU GO TO JAIL! Or, how about this for a novel idea: case the place first? Find out if there's a security camera or a hidden alarm. Then again, why even rob a convenience store? How much money could you possibly get? Two, three hundred dollars? Then what? You're set for two days! Wow!
- T: What do you know, Lanky?
- Nick: I know you go for the big score. One robbery, you're set.
- T: You know, this is an all right camera for a regular eight.
- Nick: It's the best on the market.
- T: Let me explain something to you. If you ain't got digital, you ain't got shit. This has only got one CCD chip. Broadcast has three, Nick. Don't look at me like that. What, are you surprised I know shit?
- Nick: The guy that sold me that camera just set up our computer network.
- T: Windows NT?
- Nick: No, just Windows.
- T: Man, get out of here with that shit.
- Nick: Look, here's a nutty idea. If you actually know something about this stuff, why not use that knowledge and get a job?
- T: Take a good look at me. I'm not exactly the corporate colour.
- Nick: That's ridiculous. If you wanted a job, you could have one.
- T: There's a spider on your head.
- Nick: What?
- T: There's a spider on your head.
- Nick: Look, I'm sorry, I'm not up on all this jive talkin', home boy lingo, what's that supposed to mean? "There's a spider on your head"?
- T: It means there's a spider on your motherfuckin' head, man!
- Nick: Well get it off! Get it off! Get it off!
- T: I ain't touchin' that shit!