Noises Off is a 1992 American comedy film directed by Peter Bogdanovich. The screenplay by Marty Kaplan is based on the 1982 play of the same name by Michael Frayn. The film features the final performance of Denhelm Elliott, who died of AIDS that same year.
- Dotty: Am I in Spain? No I'm not in Spain, dear. I'm in anony, that's where I am!
[Dotty enters with the detached receiver and a small shovel]
- Dotty: I've just come for me sardines.
[Gary yells in surprise, she gives a sarcastic yell back]
- Gary: Well, I'm sorry, I thought there was no one here.
- Dotty: I'm not here. I don't know where I am.
- Gary: I'm from the agency.
- [she tries to put the receiver down, but finds that the rest of the phone is missing]
- Dotty: Lost the phone now.
- Gary: Squire, Squire, Hackem and Dudley.
- Dotty: Never lost the phone before.
- Gary: I'm Tramplemain.
- Dotty: I know, I'll just put it up here in case anyone wants it, look!
[she hangs the receiver on a lampshade]
- Gary: Oh, right, thanks. No, no, I just dropped in to go into a few things - well, to check some of the measurements - do one or two odd jobs.
- Dotty: Now the plate's gone.
- Gary: Oh, and a client: I'm showing a prospective tenant over the house.
- Brooke: What's wrong with this door?
[Dotty begins looking under the sofa cushions for the plate]
- Gary: She's thinking of renting it, her interest is definitely aroused!
- Brooke: [bursting out of the bathroom] That's not the bedroom!
[Dotty looks behind the sofa]
- Gary: The bedroom? No, no, no, that's the downstairs bathroom and WC suite! And this is the housekeeper, Mrs. Crocket.
[he walks onto the sardines on the floor]
- Dotty: Sardines! Here, sardines!
- Brooke: Oh, hi!
- Gary: She's not really here.
- Dotty: You *stepped* on 'em!
[she pounds Gary's feet with the shovel]
- Lloyd: Brooke?
- Brooke: Yes?
- Lloyd: Are you in?
- Brooke: In?
- Lloyd: Are you there?
- Brooke: What?
- Lloyd: You're out. Okay. I'll call again.
- Carol Burnett ..... Dotty Otley (and Mrs. Clackett)
- Michael Caine ..... Lloyd Fellowes
- John Ritter ..... Garry Lejeune (and Roger Tramplemain)
- Christopher Reeve ..... Frederick Dallas (and Phillip Brent)
- Nicollette Sheridan ..... Brooke Ashton (and Vicki)
- Marilu Henner ..... Belinda Blair (and Flavia Brent)
- Denholm Elliott ..... Selsdon Mowbray (and The Burglar)
- Julie Hagerty ..... Poppy Taylor
- Mark Linn-Baker ..... Tim Allgood