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National Security (film)

2003 film by Dennis Dugan

National Security is a 2003 American film about two disgraced former police officers working as security guards are mismatched when thrown together to bust a smuggling operation tracking a criminal manufacturing ring involving an extremely durable rare metal being welded into beer kegs.

Directed by Dennis Dugan and written by Jay Scherick and David Ronn.
They only look like cops. taglines

Hank Rafferty

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  • I had a partner! I would have taken a bullet for him! You I'm having a hard time not shooting!
  • I know baby. But I promise you. My life is already pretty much figured out.
  • [A tall woman is holding Earl up with one hand] Okay, put him down. [Woman looks at him quizzically] In a minute or, two. Don't hurry.

Earl

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  • [Recurring line] What the problem is?
  • Your partner got killed. You lost your job. You went to jail. Your girlfriend walked. You got a job as a security guard at a hundred and eighty-two dollars a week. You know what you are, Hank? You're a black man.
  • [After firing off two shots an a senior woman's vehicle, making it skid to a halt] Ma'am, you may now, reprocure, your vehicle. [The vehicle instantly explodes]
  • [Upon seeing Washington shows up with a hit squad] He Must've Grown Up In A White Neighbourhood [On seeing his being held at gunpoint] Oh, thank you Jesus!

Dialogue

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[Earl is trying to reach for the keys in his car and Hank is walking up to him]
Hank: Need some help?
Earl: Are you asking me if I need some help or am I stealing this car?
Hank: Are you stealing this car?
Earl: Does it look like I'm stealing this damn car?
Hank: A little bit.
Earl: Why, 'cause I'm black? If you saw a white guy doing this you'd give him a reward.
Hank: Let me see your license.
Earl: I ain't showin' you a damn thing! This is my car and I didn't do anything wrong. You owe me an apology.
Hank: You're in dangerous grounds here, bub, I'd be careful what comes out of your mouth next!
Earl: Oh, you want to hear what comes out of my mouth next? You're... a... fucking... pig!
Hank: Do you actually believe the crap that comes out of your mouth?
Earl: I'm not really sure until I'm finished talkin'.
Hank: This is a beer keg. It doesn't make any sense.
Earl: It makes sense when you put together the pieces.
Hank: What pieces?
Earl: It's obvious. The CIA, they're smuggling alcohol into the inner city in an effort to further subjugate the black man.
Earl: This isn't the first time I was arrested for DWB.
Detective Frank McDuff: DWB?
Earl: Driving While Black.
Hank: [Annoyed at Earl] You got something in your teeth.
Earl: [Opens mouth] Where, here or here? [Hank punches Earl in the mouth]
Hank: [Flashing police badge] Get out of the damn car!
Woman motorist: [Slapping Hank] Didn't your mama teach you any manners? The least you could do is ask me nice!
Nash: I thought I shot you. You must be one tough monkey.
Earl: [Laughs] You and the monkey jokes, huh? Didn't your momma teach you any manners while you were humpin' her?
Earl Montgomery: [After narrowly being stung by a bee] Is it gone? Everything's okay?
Denise: [Upon discovering he let Hank go to prison for a bogus race crime] Not from you! [Punches him in the mouth]
Earl Montgomery: [Reeling from being smacked in the jaw] Did she have to hit me that hard?
Hank: Do you know how to hot wire a car?
Earl: what, you think because i'm black I can hot wire a car
Hank: Well can you?
Earl: Yeah! but not because I'm Black

Cast

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Taglines

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  • This January, a buddy comedy without the buddies.
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