Mort Sahl (born 11 May 1927) is a Montreal-born stand-up comedian. After serving in the Air Force Sahl graduated from the University of Southern California where he had majored in city management and traffic engineering. Sahl is a comedian and political satirist.
- Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference. (1987)
- Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost.
- A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.
- Nixon's the kind of guy that if you were drowning 50 feet off shore, he'd throw you a 30 foot rope. Then Kissinger would go on TV the next night and say that the President had met you more than half-way. (1973)
- In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black. In the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl. 
- The bravest thing that men do is love women.
- People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely.
- We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.
- You haven't lived until you've died in California.
- I found people looked better when they laughed.
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