NO... WIRE... HANGERS! What's wire hangers doing in this closet when I told you NO WIRE HANGERS, EVER?! I work and work 'til I'm half-dead, and I hear people say, "She's getting old." And what do I get? A daughter... who cares as much about the beautiful dresses I give her... as she cares about me!WHAT'S WIRE HANGERS DOING IN THIS CLOSET?! ANSWER ME! I buy you beautiful dresses, and you treat them like they were some dishrag! You do! $300 dress on a wire hanger? We'll see how many you've got, if they're hidden somewhere! We'll see! We'll see! Get out of that bed. All of this is coming out! Out...out...out...out!!! You got any more? We're gonna see how many wire hangers you've got in your closet! [throws items out of Christina's closet onto the floor despite Christina's protests, and soon discovers a second dress on a wire hanger] A wi... wire hanger! WHY?! WHY?!!!! Christina, get out of that bed. Get out of that bed! You live in the most beautiful house in Brentwood... [begins beating Christina with the hanger, as Christina shrieks and bawls in pain] ...and you don't care if your clothes get stretched out from wire hangers?! And your room looks like some $2-a-week furnished room in some two-bit back street town in Oklahoma! Get up! Clean up this mess!
[addressing the fans camped out in front of her house on Oscar night] I would rather be here with you than anywhere else in the world. You, all of you here and everywhere, gave me this award tonight. And I accept it from you and only you. I love all of you. Now please forgive me, good night.
[addressing the men in the Pepsi boardroom]DON'T FUCK WITH ME FELLAS! This ain't my first time at the rodeo.
[lecturing her baby dolls after making Joan mad] You were very, very bad to wake Mommie up like that. VERY naughty. I told you, Mommie has to be beautiful today. This afternoon, she has to see MISTER MAYER. Today is so important. You are thoughtless and selfish. You must learn to think about other people. You are bad, bad spoiled children.
Adopted children are luckiest because they were chosen.
Joan Crawford: Did you scrub the bathroom floor today? DID YOU?
Christina Crawford: Yes, Mommie.
Joan Crawford: Yes, Mommie what?
Christina Crawford: Yes, Mommie Dearest.
Joan Crawford: When I told you to call me that, I wanted you to mean it.
Christina Crawford: [Entering Joan's bedroom after seeing her dolls are missing] My babies! Someone stole both my babies!
Joan Crawford: That's good, darling. They were thoughtless, selfish, spoiled children - now they won't wake you up when you need your rest.
[Joan has just easily beaten Christina in a pool race]
Joan Crawford: Oh, you lost again.
Christina Crawford: It's not fair. You're bigger than I am, it's not fair to win twice.
Joan Crawford: AH, but nobody ever said life was fair, Tina. I'm bigger and I'm faster. I will always beat you.
Christina Crawford: Then I'm not gonna play with you any more. EVER.
Joan Crawford: Don't you EVER use that tone of voice with me, missy. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING TO? I'll tell you what you're gonna do, you're gonna MARCH yourself UPSTAIRS to your room and you will STAY THERE until I tell you to come out.
Christina Crawford: No I won't.
Joan Crawford: No you won't? Yes... you... WILL.
Joan Crawford: [after discovering dirt underneath a large indoor planter] Ohhhh... Helga. When you polish the floor, you have the move the tree. If you can't do something right, don't do it at all.
Helga: I'm sorry, Miss Crawford...
Joan Crawford: Gimmie the soap. You see, Carol Ann, you've got to stay on top of things every single minute.
Joan Crawford: Carol Ann, will you get that?
Carol Ann: Yes, Miss Crawford.
Joan Crawford: Helga, I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at the dirt.
[Christina has a bloody piece of steak on her lunch plate]
Joan Crawford: Christina, you haven't touched your lunch.
Christina Crawford: It's raw.
Joan Crawford: It's rare, not raw.
Christina Crawford: But it's got all this red juice when you push on it.
Joan Crawford: Then don't push on it. Darling, rare meat is good for you. The doctor said so. Christina, meat loses its vitamins if it's overcooked.
Christina Crawford: But I've had my vitamins this morning. Pills.
Joan Crawford: [to Carol-Ann] She negotiates everything like a goddamn Hollywood agent. Christina, eat your lunch. You are not getting up from this table until you have finished that meat.
Christina Crawford: There's a liquor store to the right.
Joan Crawford: I should've know you'd know where to find the boys and the booze.
Joan Crawford: Why can't you give me the respect that I'm entitled to? Why can't you treat me like I would be treated by any stranger on the street?
Christina Crawford: Because I am not one of your fans.
Joan Crawford: Why do you deliberately defy me?
Christina Crawford: Why did you tell her I got expelled?
Joan Crawford: Because you did get expelled.
Christina Crawford: That... is a lie.
Joan Crawford: [Smacking Christina hard across the face twice] You love it, don't you? YOU LOVE TO MAKE ME HIT YOU.
Barbara Bennett: Joan.
Joan Crawford: Barbara, PLEASE. PLEASE, Barbara. Leave us alone, Barbara. If you need anything, ask Carol Ann. [laughs bitterly] This is wonderful. THIS IS WONDERFUL. YOU. You deliberately embarrassed me in front of a REPORTER. A REPORTER. I told you how important this was to me, I TOLD YOU.
Joan Crawford: You know what's missing in my life?
Greg Savitt: A hit movie.
Joan Crawford: [after an ugly fight] I didn't mean that, Greg. I didn't mean it.
Greg Savitt: Get up. There's no camera in here.
Joan Crawford: Greg, where ya goin'?
Greg Savitt: Where I belong. Out of here.
Joan Crawford: You belong here. I'm waitin' for ya.
Greg Savitt: Good night, Joan.
Joan Crawford: Please don't leave, because if you do, you'll never come back in again, no matter what you say, or ask, or do.
Greg Savitt: I'll always wish you well, Joan. And I'll only speak well of you.
Joan Crawford: Please don't go! Don't leave me here alone. Please.
Greg Savitt: If you're acting, you're wasting your time. If you're not, you're wasting mine.
Joan Crawford: I'm not actin'! I'm not actin'.
Greg Savitt: Good night. Good luck. Goodbye.
Louis B. Mayer: Joan, my Joan, you're in a position to do me a favor that will be as big a favor for you as it is for me.
Joan Crawford: You don't have to ask! You only have to tell me.
Louis B. Mayer: Good. I want you to leave Metro.
Joan Crawford: Leave Metro? Leave Metro?
Louis B. Mayer: Your pictures one after another are losing money. Theater owners voted you "box office poison". Still for years I've paid no attention. You know me, Joan. I don't give up so easily. We'll pay you off on your contract. But you can't afford to make three or four more losers for us.
Joan Crawford: It's the scripts, L.B. Bad pictures, bad directors...
Louis B. Mayer: Bad with you, good with others.
Joan Crawford: No, listen to me L.B., I have been BEGGING YOU... begging you for a good script. Now you've always given me my share of bad movies because you knew I'd make them work. Well I can't keep doing it, L.B.!
Louis B. Mayer: Listen with your ears and not with your pride. With me, feeling is more important than money. You're a great star! You're Hollywood royalty! But styles change. You'll leave. We have 'creative differences'. Other studios will think they're smarter than L.B., they'll try to finesse me. You'll be offered two, three, four films. You may even get a hit!
Joan Crawford: Will you be sorry then?
Louis B. Mayer: I'm sorry now. But here there's no feeling, no hope. New faces, new voices, breath of fresh air, who knows. Don't do this to yourself.
Joan Crawford: I'll have my maid and studio people clear out my bungalow. I've got a lot of years to collect.
Louis B. Mayer: It's done, Joan. They've packed your things, they're loading your car.
Joan Crawford: You mean everybody already knows?
Louis B. Mayer: That we parted friends because we didn't agree.
Joan Crawford: Will you walk me to my car? [L.B. doesn't answer] "Hollywood royalty".
Carol Ann: [embracing Christina at Joan's funeral] Chris-tina! Tina!
Christina Crawford: Carol-Ann.
Carol Ann: My little Tina. She always loved you so very much, Christina.
Christina Crawford: I need to believe that. I need so much to be able to believe that now.
Carol Ann: She did.
Lawyer: [reading from Joan's will after her death] It is my intention to make no provision herein for my son Christopher or my daughter Christina, for reasons which are well known to them.
Christopher Crawford: What reasons?
Christina Crawford: [laughing bitterly] Jesus Christ.
Christopher Crawford: As usual, she has the last word.