Mike Lange

American sportscaster

Mike Lange (born March 3, 1948) is an ice hockey play-by-play broadcaster for the Pittsburgh Penguins of the NHL. He is known for colorful and bizarre expressions. His common sayings are referred to as "Langeisms." Lange was inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame on November 12, 2001. One of his most notable quotes were "scratch my back with a hacksaw".

Mike Lange


  • Lord Stanley, Lord Stanley, get me the brandy!
    • Quoted in Bob Smizik, "Cow-kicked: FSN fires Lange as Penguins' TV voice", Pittsburgh Post-Gazette (2006-06-30)
    • Stated upon the Penguins winning their second Stanley Cup in 1992
  • He beat him like a rented mule.
    • Quoted in Bob Smizik, Tales from the Pittsburgh Penguins (2006). Lange credited a stockbroker with saying the phrase to him when Lange asked him how his day was.
    • Noted as a phrase closely associated with Lange, as quoted in Shelly Anderson, "Lange signs 1-year Penguins radio deal", Pittsburgh Post-Gazette (2007-07-27)
  • He's smiling like a butchers dog!
  • It's a... HOCKEY NIGHT in Pittsburgh!
  • Michael, Michael, Motorcycle.
    • Quoted in Keith Barnes, "Lange's inimitable style makes him a broadcast legend", Tribune-Review (2008-01-20)
  • Buy Sam a drink and get his dog one, too!
    • Quoted in Keith Barnes, "Lange's inimitable style makes him a broadcast legend", Tribune-Review (2008-01-20)

"Eddie Spaghetti! The Story Behind Mike Lange-isms"


Bob Pompeani, KDKA.com (2008-05-20). Article here.

  • Oh no, Eddie Spaghetti!
  • Donna needs a doughnut!
  • He smoked him like a bad cigar
    • Given to Lange personally by Jaromír Jágr, the original Czech version was "Ten ho vykouril jako cigaretu!".
  • And ladies and gentlemen, the kitchen is closed!
    • Lange described the call: "I went into a place to try and get something to eat and the lady very distinctly said to me, 'The kitchen is closed!' I said, 'Wow. There's the end, that's it, you can't eat any more, you haven't got a prayer.' I said, 'That's finality, baby!'"
  • And ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has just left the building!
  • Look out, Loretta.
  • How much fried chicken can YOU eat?
  • Book 'em, Danno!
  • Hallelujah Hollywood
  • Give me back my old Cadillac!
  • Hop in the Cordoba, baby, we're going bowling!
  • Never teach a pig to sing.
    • A singing pig played the Igloo once... Really!
  • Get that dog off my lawn!
  • Shave my face with a rusty razor!
  • Great Balls of fire!
  • And you can spit-shine your shoes Pittsburgh, you're going dancing with the Lord of Lords, Lord Stanley!
  • The Stanley Cup has come to the city of Pittsburgh!
    • Stated upon the Penguins winning their first Stanley Cup in 1991
  • Lord Stanley, scratch their names on your fabled Cup!
    • Stated upon the Penguins winning their third Stanley Cup in 2009
  • Tell your ma, tell your pa, I'm gonna send you back to Arkansas!
    • Stated upon the Penguins winning their fifth Stanley Cup in 2017
  • He's got more moves than Mae West!
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