Michael Flanders

Michael Flanders (1 March 1922 – 14 April 1975) was an English actor, broadcaster, and writer and performer of comic songs. The music of his songs was usually written by Donald Swann, who also performed with him.

Michael Flanders with Donald Swann prior to their 1959 Broadway opening with At the Drop of a Hat.

Quotes

• Pity the poor old rhino with
  A bodger on its bonce.
  • The Rhinoceros

• The bottle-nosed whale is a furlong long,
  And likewise wise
  But headstrong strong
  • The Whale

• Away on the hilltop sat combing her hair
  His fair Hippopotamine maid.
  The Hippopotamus was no ignoramus
  And sang her this sweet serenade:
  
  Mud! Mud! Glorious mud!
  Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood.
  So, follow me, follow, down to the hollow,
  And there let us wallow in glorious mud.
  • The Hippopotamus Song

• I'm a g-nu,
  I'm a g-nu,
  The g-nicest work of g-nature in the zoo
  • A Gnu

• Hold very tight please
  Ting ting
  • A Transport of Delight

• No more will I go
  To Blandford Forum
  And Mortehoe -
  On the Slow Train
  From Midsomer Norton
  And Mumby Road -
  No churns, no porter
  No cat on a seat
  At Chorlton-cum-Hardy
  Or Chester-le-Street
  I won't be leaving again
  On the Slow Train
  • Slow Train

• The English, the English, the English are best -
  I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest!

• And all the world over, each nation's the same;
  They've simply no mission of playing the game.
  They argue with umpires - they cheer when they've won
  And they practice beforehand, which ruins the fun.
  The English are moral, the English are good
  And clever, and modest, and misunderstood!
  • A Song of Patriotic Prejudice

• Son, son, I admire your sincerity. Always be sincere - whether you mean it or not.
  • The Reluctant Cannibal