- Michael: You know, there's a saying in Naples: When you think you're fucking them, they're fucking you.
[on watching a foreign film]
- Scott: My eyes still hurt from reading that movie.
- Kevin: I've got two words for you: seek help.
- Scott: And I've got two words for you: exacta.
- Scott: [trying to open an impound car, talking about his ex-girlfriend] She's going out with some baseball player called Greg Barnett.
- Sam: Damn that boy can hit... and throw... and run...
- Scott: [pissed off at Sam's comments] Damn... why don't you just get some pom poms and start yelling Greg... Greg... Greg. Fuck him!
- Scott: [seeing the old red truck provided by the police department] Aww. C'mon, man! Who am I? Red Fox? I can't roll in that shit!
- Scott: Okay, stop right there. Close your eyes.
- Kevin: Okay.
- Scott: Tell me what you see.
- Kevin: I see a scumbug behind the counter with a sawed-off. Nine-millimetre tucked away in his waistband. There's a female hostage down in front of the cereal rack... with a red polka-dot dress. Another hostage three feet to her right, with blue jeans and a checkered shirt. A male hostage down, green shirt, white pants, in front of the candy rack. There's a female scumbug behind me with a gun tucked away in her shirt... trying to pass herself off as a hostage. And there's a special on toilet paper, 4 for $1.29. That's a lot of toilet paper.