Mermaids (1990 film)

1990 film by Richard Benjamin

Mermaids is a 1990 American comedy-drama film, set in 1963, about a carefree single mother who uproots her family every time her love life goes awry. When she and her daughters relocate to a small town in Massachusetts, the family encounters a series of events that test and strengthen their bonds with one another.

Written by June Roberts. Directed by Richard Benjamin, based on Patty Dann's book of the same name.
This is our mother. Pray for us. taglines

Charlotte Flax

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  • A word about Mrs. Flax and food: the word is "hors d'oeurves". "Fun Finger Foods" is her main source book and that's all the woman cooks. Anything more, she says, is too big a commitment.
  • [narrating] Please, God, let him throw me on the ground and make another Joey Junior.
  • I may be pregnant with the next Jewish-Italian Messiah!
  • [everyone in town is stricken by the news of President Kennedy's assassination] It feels like there isn't a single adult left on the entire planet.
  • So Joe, tell me about the nuns in the convent. Do they wear underwear in the shower? [narrating] I don't believe I said that.
  • Oh, I'm going to hell for sure. Here he is, talking about his poor dead mother and I can't help wishing his hands were unbuttoning my dress!

Rachel Flax

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  • OK, I've had a little scotch...I'm real calm.
  • Death is dwelling on the past or staying in one place too long!
  • [Charlotte is praying at a shrine she has made in her room to the Virgin Mary] Charlotte, we're Jewish.
  • [to Charlotte as she goes out to spend time with Joe] Don't do anything I wouldn't do…[pause] Or don't do anything I would!
  • [Charlotte has a newfound obsession with Greek mythology] Charlotte, we're Jewish.

Kate Flax

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  • [to her sister] Act your age, not your shoe size.
  • [wanting a glass of wine] Hit me, Sergeant!

Dialogue

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Lou Landsky: If you care about us, would it kill you to show it?
Rachel: "Us"? When did YOU and *my* children become "us"? You're just YOU, Lou - me and the girls, THAT'S "us”!
Lou Landsky: I was talking about you and me.

Rachel: Charlotte, you drive like old people make love.
Charlotte: Mom, I'm only 15. I get nervous.
Rachel: Driving happens to be one of the two most important skills a woman could have. You should be tickled pink that I taught you early.

Charlotte: [narrating] Oh, God, please let Mrs. Flax control herself.
Lou Landsky: You're still a perfect seven, Reverend Mother. You know, most women's feet get bigger.
Rachel: Only if they marry.
Charlotte: [narrating] Oh, no!
Rachel: You know, your feet swell. When you get pregnant, your feet swell.
[Charlotte is mortified]
Charlotte: [narrating] How could she? How could she?
Rachel: I know mine got swollen when I was pregnant.
Charlotte: [whispering] Mother, how could you say that? She's a holy vessel!

Rachel: [wearing a mermaid costume for the New Year's Eve party] All right, I can tell by my mermaid watch that it's time for me to get in my mermaid car and hit the mermaid road!
Kate: And get the mermaid outta here!

Mother Superior: Yes, dear?
[Charlotte stands in front of her, smiling awkwardly]
Charlotte: [narrating] I desperately wanted to ask her what color her bra was and if she had pure thoughts every second of the day, but…
[Charlotte is unable to speak]

Kate: When I die, I want to be sprinkled in the ocean. I don't care if a whale eats me. I could live inside a whale like Jonah with an angel guard.
Rachel: Girls…
Charlotte: Yeah, well, what if you get a whale that doesn't have a living room inside him and you end up in someone's tuna fish sandwich?

Rachel: You know, Charlotte, I think you might be old enough for a boyfriend now.
Charlotte: If I'm old enough, maybe you're too old.
Rachel: Don't be ridiculous. A real woman is never too old.

Charlotte: What are you doing?
Kate: Sucking out the pimentos. They give me hernias.
Charlotte: You mean hives, fish-head.

Charlotte: [wearing heavy makeup] OK, how do I look?
Kate: Like someone drew all over you.

Dr. Reynolds: [after examining Charlotte, who thinks she is pregnant after kissing Joe] Has your mother ever talked to you about sex?
Charlotte: [narrating] Please, God, I want to die.
[to the doctor]
Charlotte: Yeah, all the time.
Dr. Reynolds: So you do know how babies are conceived?
Charlotte: Oh, yeah. We talk about everything. She's a wonderful mother.
Dr. Reynolds: Then why did you think you were pregnant? You're still a virgin.
Charlotte: [narrating] I want to die now. Right now.

[Charlotte is going fishing with Joe]
Joe: Do you want to bait your own hook or do you want me to do it?
Charlotte: [narrating] Mary, mother of God... he still wants to fish?

Charlotte: I want to stay!
Rachel: And do what?
Charlotte: Finish high school!
Rachel: Great start! What's your major, town tramp?
Charlotte: No, Mom, the town already has one.
[Rachel slaps her]

Taglines

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  • Mom Is Many Things...Normal Isn't One of Them.

Cast

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Mermaids quotes at the Internet Movie Database