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Megatokyo

English-language webcomic

These are quotes by Fred Gallagher and Rodney Caston and from their webcomic Megatokyo.

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Fred's Rants

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  • "September 11, 2001 - A Failure of Conscience
    Buildings can be rebuilt, no matter what the size. The void in sky is not just the absence of buildings, but the loss of faith in the human conscience.
    We hold out hope that this, too, can be rebuilt."
  • "Dealing with the constant conflict between the time Megatokyo needs, the time my day job as an architect requires, and the small in-between moments that are left for Seraphim and myself... I won't lie, it's been a hard balancing act. But it's always been worth it, because i feel that Megatokyo is something to be proud of (even with all it's problems). Unfortunately, something happened Monday that changed this balance drastically...
    Monday afternoon I was laid off."
  • "There are no ski lifts in the world of creativity. You gotta haul your own ass up the slope every time you want to come back down it. It's not so bad, the more you climb up, the stronger you get, and the higher you can go, which makes for better runs."

Forum Quotes

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  • "The world doesn't need more warm bodies, it needs happier people."
  • "Life is about contrast. You can usualy find humor in almost everything you do. Sometimes, things just aren't funny."
  • "What you say in the games is scripted, and the actions the protagonist takes are often things that a player might wish he'd do, but often never would in real life. Hell, just the act of talking to a girl, something that seems to happen in these games without thought, is something most players are almost incapable of doing. Add to that the fact that you are often dealing with several girls, all of whom you are chasing to one degree or another. Maybe the problem isn't that the situations in the games (lots of girls who may be interested in you) isn't phony, maybe it's the actions of the protagonist (guided by the player) that are the biggest fantasy of all."
  • "yknow, now that i think about it, the greeks were pretty Emo, weren't they?"

Chat Quotes

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  • "I'm not negative, I just have a fail-friendly way of looking at the world."

Megatokyo

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Dom

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(see also combinations below)

  • "They don't build these things like they used to.. One stray H.E.A.T. round and down they go."
  • "She's not a person, Largo, she's a commodity. Be happy for her. At least commodities are worth something."

Hayasaka Erika

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(see also combinations below)

  • "All men are fanboys. You need to stop being so prissy and learn how to benefit from it."
  • About Hentai: "Well, at least the monster seems to always make sure the girl's satisfied"
  • "This is my life. My game. My rules. If you want to be a part of it, you will respect that."

Largo

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(see also combinations below)

  • Flight attendant: "Sir, please, it's against airline policy to use the headphone cord to strangle a fellow passenger." - "Just gimme five more minutes..."
  • Flight attendant: "Does anyone here speak l33t?" - "j0"
  • "There it was! A AMD Athlon CPU that wasn't being overclocked! This was a crime! I felt that I had to right this injustice!"
  • "Ph34r my l33t n3kkid skillz!!!"
  • "But, we lack b33r. Ph34r my l4ck of b33r!"
  • "I am Great Teacher Largo!!!! Ph33r my l33t t34ching ski||z! Why? Why learn? Why submit yourself to Great Teacher Largo?? What is in it for you? I will tell you... Because knowl3dg3 is pow3r!!"
  • "Video games are a conduit for the soul. They expand our lives, channel our imagination, test our skillz. Games exist as a channel for the boundless energy of people all over the world. It is a medium you are incapable of understanding."
  • "There's something else... something about this place... something unusual... Oh yeah! I've never been in a girl's bathroom before! Cool!"
  • To Erika: "Woah... you are r4ck3d! Hey, both of our roomies are totally wasted. Whaddya say...when we get to your place let me show you what l33t things I can do with your systemz. I kin mak3 em scr34m!"
  • "Ph33r this one, Piro. Ph34r with gr34t ph33r."
  • "It has a secret program of ultimate destruction. All Sonys do."
  • Miho: "I wasn't aware the Tokyo Police employed uneducated, paranoid, delusional foreign delinquents." - "In my case, they made an exception."
  • "Your game and your rules. But it doesn't mean I have to play."
    • Source: Megatokyo #683
    • Talking to Erika after she tells him to let her have her way or leave. This is also a reference to #584
  • As Endgames Largo, having discovered a go-kart: "Wow, we don't even have to worry about fuel! It runs on fruit!"
  • “There are many kinds of wounds. But to take damage from someone you trust…Betrayal is the deepest wound of all.”

Nanasawa Kimiko

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(see also combinations below)

  • Kimiko: "I've been a klutz all evening. I don't know what's wrong with me."
    Megumi: "That's easy. You're a little 'unbalanced'."
    "Aaaaagh!!!! Oh my god how embarrassing! That does it! I'm not wearing these things anymore."
    "Oh... you poor girl. You really do need them, don't you?"
    "Don't be such a meanie..."

Piro

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(see also combinations below)

  • "You vomited, I took that for a 'yes'."
    • Source: Megatokyo #7
    • Explaining to Largo why they're on a plane en route to Japan


  • "Shoujo manga has helped me with so many problems. All I need to do is read until I find a similar situation and it will tell me everything I need to know."


  • Pirogoeth: "Please don't wave dead things in my face, or I'll hurt you."


  • "Even when they have digital readouts, I can't understand them."

Seraphim

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  • "'I wish I was never born' is too expensive for my budget, but I think I can swing this."
  • "I don't get it. What is it about a school uniform that turns fanboys like you into drooling morons?"
  • "Sometimes you just gotta go with whatya got! Pathetic people need love too!"
    • Source: Megatokyo #603
      • Contested. A little earlier in the story, Seraphim's sister was revealed to the readers, and a little later, in the same place in the shop, we see that "Seraphim" forcibly removed from her spot by another "Seraphim", differently clad. She also behaves and dresses very differently from Seraphim or her "evil twin," and lacks the bandage Seraphim is wearing at the time. Most readers thus believe her to be a third sister (who has not been seen outside of this scene, and was only shown interacting with Piro.)

Sonoda Masamichi

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  • "Two jail breaks, unauthorized Rent-A-Zilla usage, operating a Zilla without a license, deploying an opposing force without a permit, deployment of defensive weaponry without a license, illegal use of duct tape... You've been busy."
  • "Your actions constitute severe violations of many local ordinances and national laws... Not to mention several international treaties and the Android Rights Act of 1978. Ever consider a career in cataclysm management? Lemme buy you a beer."
  • "Please flee in terror in an orderly manner!"
  • "Give me a city block to rebuild anyday. Some things just can't be fixed."
  • "Never let anything become a zombie that's difficult to kill."

Combination: Largo and Dom/Ed

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  • Largo: "Up in the sky! It's raining zombies!"
    Dom: "The explosion Ed set off must have formed an interdimensional rift. We've duplicated this in the Sega Labs before - it's where the Sega CD came from."

Combination: Largo and Piro

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  • "Piro, I've been thinking..." - "Aren't there laws against that?"
  • Largo: "Don't you ever think that there might be more to life than just games?"
    "You mean like finding a girlfriend, getting out of debt, moving ahead in our careers, stuff like that?"
    "Yea."
    "There was a sim game about that, wasn't there?"
    "Yea, it sucked."
    "'Nuff said."
  • Piro: "Nice mullet. Do all your heroes look like 'MacGyver'?" - "There are no more heroes."
  • Largo: "This scene is saying, 'I am lame.' "
    "This scene is saying, 'I am really lame.' "
    "This scene says, 'This is the lamest thing that ever crawled out of the lamest hole on the planet where all lameness was originally spawned in the known universe.' "
    Piro: "And having a girl break your arm in three places wasn't lame?"
    Largo: "Nah, that was cool."
  • Largo: "Chill, dude. I'm sure we'll get deported eventually. Remember that roadtrip we took to Canada?"
    "Actually, I was kind of hoping to avoid that experience again..."
    "Hey come on... we got handcuffed by real Mounties! That was cool."
  • Largo, seeing Erika: "Woah. Bab3-O-R4m4. Are those real?" - "... Fly you fool, you know not your peril!"

Combination: Largo and Ibara Junko

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  • Largo: "What are the m4d skillz that make you who you are??? What are you good at?!?" — "I am good at taking advantage of older men and getting money from them!!!"
  • Largo: "An undead horde surrounded our location early this morning, seeking to worship some demonic idol which they assumed was your roommate. I must know... has your roommate ever been the sacrifice in a demonic ritual? Has her blood ever been spilled in the raising of the undead??
  • Junko, trying to translate to Japanese: "I'm sorry, my English isn't creative enough to translate that."

Combination: Piro and Dom/Ed

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Piro: "So you locked your best friend in the trunk of the car so he'd miss the job interview..."
Largo: "What Happened To The Other Applicants?"
Dom: "Well They Werent Really Friends, You Know..." *pulls out a Sig-Sauer and winks*
Piro: "Check Please."
Dom: "OK, what did Largo do this time?"
Piro: "Not enough to get us deported, not yet."
Dom: "I'd give him a few more days. He works fast."

Combination: Piro and Hayasaka Erika

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  • Erika, putting a hat over Piro's eyes: "Perfect."
Piro: "But I can't see."
Erika: "Uhm hm. Should make it easier to stop staring at me."

Combination: Nanasawa Kimiko and Hayasaka Erika

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  • Erika: "Did you sleep with the producer?"
    "No. I did not."
    "Do you need me to?"
    "No."
    "Well, that's a shame."
  • Kimiko: "Besides, I figure if I make the dress real hard to get out of, it'll keep you out of trouble." - ... - "Remind me again... Who has an audition for a voice part in a porn game today?"
  • Kimiko: "It's just a little something... From a fan." - "From a fan? Already? You might want to keep it away from the food."

Others

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  • Mr Grier: "OK! Let's get started with today's English lesson, eh? Today we are going to learn some 'Canadian' English. Let's start with some Canadian expressions popular right now, eh? Repeat after me:
    'Neverwinter Nights will be released when it is complete.'
    'Neverwinter Nights will be released this winter.'
    'In Canada it's always winter.'
    'Neverwinter Nights will be released soon, we promise!'"
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