Megas’ Dashboard: Missiles - More Missiles - ALL the Missiles!
Coop: [The TV suddenly turns off] No... [Coop leaps onto the table showering Jamie with food] NO!!! [Coop desperately smacks the TV to get it to work]No!
Jamie: [Still covered in food] Looks like the cable's out.
Kiva: Coop, forget it. It's just Television. The world can live without it.
Coop: [Coop imagines a bright happy world without TV where he is left as a pauper] No...I won't let that happen!
Jamie: [As MEGAS gets sucked into the Planet Monster's surface] So THIS is how it all ends...I always thought I'd go down fighting a bunch of cyborg ninjas, or something cooler this-[MEGAS gets sucked beneath the surface]
Coop: It's too bad we can't force it to over-eat. I mean, it always does me in.
Jamie: No it doesn't.
Coop: Well, yeah, but regular people get sick if they eat too much.
Coop: No! I'm sick of this thing. It's trying to eat my planet, it messed up my paint job with acid bugs AND it made me miss my show! I'M taking this TV eating sucka to the mat.
Jamie: Come on man, haven't I always been there for you?
Coop: [Thinking to himself, Flashbacks to Coop waiting by himself for Jamie at the movie theater,an amusement park, at Coop's Birthday,at Jamie's Birthday] Alright, but don't be touching none of the special buttons or nothing. [He gives Jamie the car keys]
Jamie: Yeah yeah, I promise. [He takes the keys leaving Coop alone like in the flashbacks]
Gorrath: [In a Mech that looks like MEGAS] Tremble before me! Pitiful earth filth!
Goat: Sweet new paint job bro.
Tiny: Looking good Coop!
Gorrath: [Groans] What is wrong with this planet?
Coop: I installed it so that I could still operate MEGAS, if I was working on the car. I'm still tweaking it. [A nearby controller catches on fire and Coop quickly puts it out][With a nervous laugh] Like I said, I'm still tweaking it...
Coop: Alright tentacle-breath. You copied my robot, hit me when I wasn't looking, threatened my town-
Coop: It takes many years of intensive training to cultivate this kind of refined appetite. [Flashback of Coop eating tons of food as he grows up] Many years...
[Coop is accused of being a Bad Guy by the S-Force]
Coop: Who, me? It's just an eating contest. Is it a crime to eat?
Jamie: The way you do it, it should be.
Ender: I am Ender. I end things. People, planets, galaxies.
Ender: Now I am free to conquer and destroy! Or destroy and conquer! Or just destroy!
Megas’ Dashboard: [Power levels] Low Energy - Fair Amount - Normal - Too Much! - Getting Ridiculous - Are You Kidding?
Coop: What's this "OMNICRON13" thingy?
Argo: No! You destabilized the wave pattern! Who knows what will happen? Don't activate it!
Coop: [Immediately activates it]
Coop: Listen chump. I was just doing my own thing, when some robot-riding circus freaks jumped me! And then you had to show up and start bashing my town! And for SOME reason, everyone keeps calling ME-The Bad Guy! I may not be the best guy...But I sure ain't no bad guy! Yo, S-Force! You ready?
Coop: No way! This guy sicked a giant worm-thingy on me, chased my pals around with zombie-robots and made me break a perfectly good Photonic Stabilizer! I'm putting you in a hurt-locker and slamming the door, junkman!
Megas’ Dashboard: Bet You Can't Guess What This Button Does
Coop: [To Gorrath] Come on,don't stop now. What else ya got? I've got only one arm and I'm still wiping the floor with ya! I think you'll need a bigger robot if you want to play with me anymore! What? You want me to drop the other arm so it's fair? [Kiva and Jamie shake their heads and wave their hands in desperation]
Gorrath: Let’s see how you like the Eradicator. [Pushes a button and the Karrajor converts into an enormous mech with Megas hovering in front of it's cannons like a grain of sand]
Coop: Well... That's pretty big.
Jamie: You just had to ask if he had a bigger robot, didn't you?
Megas’ Dashboard: [Various buttons] DESTROY THE WORLD. SMITE THE WORLD. DESTROY THE WORLD WORSE. Save the world. [The last button is missing, wires hanging all over]
[Coop has just caused the Karrajor to be sucked into Null Space, seemingly destroying it]
Coop: Man, now I really need another Big Glug... and a cheesesteak... or 28.
Kiva: Coop! You just destroyed the Glorft!
Coop: So? What'ya think was going to happen?
Coop: Now for a little payback. Me and MEGAS vs a bunch of Glorft bots that got the home field advantage...Sounds fair to me. Hey Squid! About those goodbyes. Uh, buh-bye! [Proceeds to destroy Glorft bots]
Ultra Cadet: [to Jamie] Dont worry, Coop! We'll take care of this chubby thief and get your robot back!
Coop: [offended] Chubby? Ladies, this is fat!
Kiva: We better go find him. Leaving Jamie alone with some innocent aliens isn't a good idea.
Coop: What's the worst he can do? [Imagines Jamie as the King of an alien planet, an alien presents him a fish as a gift, Jamie gets angry and presses a button labeled "NOT GOOD ENOUGH" causing the entire planet to explode] You're right we better find him.
Jamie: Stop! I'm not Coop!.
Ultra Cadet: What!?
Jamie: [Points at Coop] He's Coop. He's the guy you wanted...
Ultra Cadet: [To Coop]You're Coop?
Goat: [Whispering to Coop] I'll give you five bucks if you tell them I'm your sidekick...
Coop: That does it! You transforming girl-scout super freaks interrupted my quality junkyard time, kidnapped Jamie and made me miss second lunch. Oh, it's ON now!
Kiva: I knew there was something more to this than some stupid fight. This is about revenge!
Magnanimous It's about more than that, red. You put me in a quantum singularity, destroyed my empire, made me broke! And gave me this twitch. [eye twitches] It's about hurting you and I wish to go on hurting you, so I am going to humiliate you live. And while I'm at it, I think I might do a little destruction number on this planet of yours!...Oh wow, I guess it is about revenge.
T-Bot: T-Bot will pounce you! Trounce you! And utterly denounce you!.
Coop: Alright, you chumps...You guys are trying to steal my title, you're wrecking my town and now you're making me seriously late on my video. You wanna fight--[gets knocked down by T-bot]
T-Bot: T-Bot wins no matter what! [Coop kicks T-Bot into the air]
Coop: Tell the kid something about the future, Kiva.
Kiva: Little boys like you are used as target practice for "chicks" like me.
Megas’ Dashboard: Eject Skippy
Gorrath: I will return, earther! Your under-developed brain has no capacity to comprehend the horrors I have in store for you!
Coop: And my under-developed brain will be waitin'. [Thinks for a second] Hey!
Coop: Okay, you slimy chump. First, you come back after I kill ya, then ya try to beat up my cousin and now you think you're gonna shoot the moon into the Earth?! Well, I got your trigger right here! [accidentaly drops the trigger, which lands on Coop's lap. Coop sighs in relief, causing his belly to press the trigger, thereby activating the engine]
Kiva: You fired the engine!
Skippy: Should have let a responsible child hold it.
Coop: [After Kiva stops him from using his nukes] What's the point of having nukes if you can't use them?
R.E.C.R.: I MUST destroy the enemy!
Coop: The enemy? What enemy?
R.E.C.R.: The enemy...[R.E.C.R. thinks for a moment] EVERYTHING IS THE ENEMY!
R.E.C.R.: I was designed to defend this land, and I will do it by destroying everyone!
R.E.C.R.: There is no way you can defeat the superior power of my massive 56 kilobyte processor!
Coop: I've got 10-year old video games that are smarter than you!
Megas’ Dashboard: Do something stupid, Coop.
Coop: That's it! You locked me up in that undeground pit, made me miss my shot at being the Gonzo Game Master and now you smash the cheapest All you can eat buffet in town? You just gambled and LOST pal!
Coop: ROCK ON![Performs a body-slam on the glorft below]
Coop: Alright you octopused faced losers. You crash my concert, stop me from getting fake chese nachos AND try wipin' out this poor chick who ain't done nothing to you, just so you can make Kiva not been born and...me not get...my robot...Uh? Wait, explain it to me again? It's er-Ah forget it!
Coop: Done what? [camera cuts to the broken robot that suddenly explodes]
Ator: Destroy our guardian!
Jamie: Uh, he was like that when we got here.
Kiva: Jamie, they saw us do it.
Ator: Hail to our new guardian! We are saved! [Megas destroys a building]
Ator: We are doomed...
Megas’ Dashboard: Big Red Button of Irony
Drallag: Well, it seems this new "guardian" is nothing of the sort. He's done more damage than we have! [laughs]
Coop: Listen up you dorky sounding, ice-grubing, robotic chump! You dinged my chrome, made me break my window AND snapped my favourite key! [Ator clears his throat] Oh yeah. You also tried to cut up the planet of the space big foots...You wanna eat some ice? Glad to oblige!
Coop: [Seeing a destroyed Jersey City after activating the Trans-D Drive] No. No! You maniacs! You blew it up! You blew it all to- Wait...hope I didn't do this.
Gorrath: How is it possible that a remedial life form like you, could have stopped ME time and again. [Flashback to Coop beating aliens in various videogames]
Coop: What can I say? Whooping alien freaks is a skill.
Gorrath: I demand to know who's in charge here!
Alternate Jamie: THAT would me. And I don't think YOU'RE in a position to demand anything.
Coop: Hey you got the wrong idea! See I was kicking his butt and then we ended up in this warp thing and-
Alternate Jamie: -Don't insult my intelligence! Since our war started, we've been trying to capture you.
Coop: War? Us? [Flashback to Coop and Jamie competing in various activities with Coop winning every time] Come on man! We we're just messing around. I'll let you win next time.
Gorrath: Even in victory, you humans are pathetic.
Coop: [Laughs] And getting locked up in your own ship ain't pathetic?
Gorrath: We'll need some kind of diversion.
Coop: Right, diversion. Urm? [accidentally presses a button on the wall setting off an alarm]
Gorrath: No! [A laser beam shoots skyward and Coop punches the alarm a few times which makes it stop]
Coop: Uh...[Laughs nervously] I'm sure no one heard that. [The guard point their guns at Coop and Gorrath] Yep. Yep they heard it.
Gorrath: [angrily] Have I told you how much I hate you?
Alternate Jamie: I'm impressed. Allowing yourself to get caught, just so you can activate a homing beacon for them to find our base. Very clever.
Megas’ Dashboard: Park - Neutral - Reverse - Drive - Save Jamie
Coop: Alright squid, you tried to wreck the city again, you made me go to some alternate dimension where Jamie is an even bigger creep than usual AND you got me locked up in a jail cell with no food! It's time to rumble!
Gorrath: Are you talking to me? I'm on your side now, remember!
Gorrath: No doubt that one. [Points at army of mechs behind Evil Coop]
Evil Kiva: Your obsolete mech is a disgrace.
Coop: Does THIS look obsolete!? [Megas strikes a dramatic pose, a piece falls of]
Evil Kiva: Yes, it does.
Coop: The only thing I hate more than you...is me? Uh, him... [Gorrath looks unimpressed] You know what I mean!
Gorrath: [looking at Coop's damaged car] Such a waste. First I'm trapped in the past, and now I'm trapped in a dimenson where YOU rule. [sarcasticaly] Shoot me now...
Coop: This ain't so bad. I can fix this. [Coop's car explodes]
Evil Coop: Why won't you die!?
Coop: Next time you abandon Megas, don't leave it in MY garage!
Evil Coop: You know you don't have a chance.
Coop: I don't know NOTHIN'!
Coop: Listen up, you jive clone wannabe! You wrecked my alternate dimension city! Blew up my robot! And worst of all, made ME skinny! Well you're in MY dimension now! And we do things a little differently here!