Matt Houston

Matt Houston (1982–1985) was an American crime drama TV show, airing on ABC, about a wealthy Texan who moves to California to oversee his family's offshore drilling enterprises but spends most of his time dabbling in his private investigator hobby.

Season 1

Who Would Kill Ramona? [1.05]

[Bo and Lamar are in Matt Houston's jacuzzi]

Murray Chase: I don't believe what I'm seeing. What do you two think you're doing?

Lamar Pettybone: We're making the world's largest margarita.

Murray Chase: Ma... Margarita? In there? Oh no. Thi, thi, this is Houston's private jacuzzi. If he ever finds out what you're doing, he'll kill you. Oh no, he'll kill all of us.

[Matt arrives]

Murray Chase: Houston, Houston you have to understand, I knew nothing about this. I just arrived and I am as shocked, shocked to say as you are.

Matt Houston: What are you fellas doing here?

Bo: Well, we delivered the chili to Frank Gorm in San Antonio. We just thought we'd stop by for a little dip.

Matt Houston: [dips a margarita glass into the jacuzzi] Needs more tequila.

Murray Chase: You're all crazy. You know that. You're crazy.

C.J. Parsons: [sips out of the glass] No he isn't Murray. It does need more tequila.

Recipe for Murder [1.06]

Matt Houston

Listen, my name's Matt Houston and I'm a private detective.

J. Hamilton Goodfellow: [looking at Houston's feet] Boots. Worse than that, cowboy boots. I hope you didn't park your trusty steed on my front lawn. It's prize-winning dichondra and when it needs fertilizer my gardener gets it from legal channels.

Matt Houston: Listen, I'm representing Prince Polansky.

J. Hamilton Goodfellow: My condolences. The man is as guilty as sin.

Matt Houston: Well, I don't really believe that, and I was hoping I could get a little cooperation from you.

J. Hamilton Goodfellow: Sorry, Sundance. Since my partner died my workload has doubled, and I have no time to play Starsky and Hutch with you.

---

C.J. Parsons: Something's bothering you.

Matt Houston: It's not the wine either.

C.J. Parsons: I bet it's the fact Kate Riley and her brother came to this restaurant for the first time and they find her ex-husband in a gelatin mold.

---

Matt Houston: Murray, what in the name of Too Tall Jones is going on here?

Murray Chase: It's him. The man who came to dinner really came. See for yourself.

J. Hamilton Goodfellow: Well, hello, Sundance! Welcome! Come right in, make yourself at home. Is this Mrs. Sundance?

C.J. Parsons: No, they call me Butch. That's because my mama dresses me so funny.

---

Murray Chase: If somebody doesn't do something about him, he's gonna fly the London Symphony in here for high tea!

C.J. Parsons: Murray, I've done all I can do. Asking him to leave is like asking Sylvester Stallone not to make [[Rocky IV]!

---

C.J. Parsons: As a matter of fact, Houston, now that you mention it, there is something digging at me. You knew deep down all along the prince was innocent. How come?

Matt Houston: Well, I'll tell ya, C.J., it's really quite simple. Ever since I've been knee high to a grasshopper the prince has meant a whole lot to me and my family. Not only was he my father's favorite cook, he taught me a very important lesson in life. That's the Cowboy Code.

C.J. Parsons: The Cowboy Code? Is that anything like the Dallas Cowboys?

Bo: Wash your mouth out, girl! Don't you know nothin'?

Lamar Pettybone: Oh, that just goes to show how ignorant a college graduate can get!

C.J. Parsons: Save me, Houston! What is the Cowboy Code?

Matt Houston: Well, C.J., I think the prince found it in an old Western movie because, you see, that's what he thought America was all about at that point in time. It goes something like this: Never shoot first. Never hit a smaller man. Never take an unfair advantage.

Lamar Pettybone: And never go back on your word.

Bo: Be kind to kids, elders, and animals.

Lamar Pettybone: And don't harbor no religious or racial intolerance.

Matt Houston: That's right. And most important of all, a cowboy's a patriot.

C.J. Parsons: It's kinda nice.

Matt Houston: I like it.

C.J. Parsons: So that's how you knew the prince wasn't guilty?

Matt Houston: Well, that and the fact that he never could make a gelatin.

Shark Bait [1.07]

Matt Houston: How'd you make out?

C.J. Parsons: Like a blowtorch at a Smokey the Bear convention.

The Showgirl Murders [1.19]

Matt Houston: This conversation reminds me of a hobbled horse. It's not goin' anywhere.

Cast

• Lee Horsley - Mattlock 'Matt' Houston
• Pamela Hensley - C.J. Parsons
• John Aprea - Lt. Vince Novelli
• Paul Brinegar - Lamar Pettybone
• Dennis Fimple - Bo
• Penny Santon - Mama Rosa Novelli
• Lincoln Kilpatrick - Lt. Michael Hoyt
• Buddy Ebsen - Uncle Roy Houston
• George Wyner - Murray Chase

External links

• Matt Houston quotes at the Internet Movie Database