Malcolm Azania

Malcolm Azania (born 1969), also known as Minister Faust, is a Canadian teacher, writer, community activist, radio host and political aspirant.

Quotes

The Coyote Kings of the Space-Age Bachelor Pad (2004)

Nominated for the 2004 Philip K. Dick Award.

All page numbers from the trade paperback first edition published by Ballantine Books, ISBN 0-345-46635-7

• Thursday is practically Friday and Friday is Friday.
  • Chapter 1, “I Wash Dishes for Scumbags” (p. 8)

• “MAY THE FORCE—”
  “—FEED YOUR HORSE!”
  • Chapter 4, “The Coyote Kings vs. the Whyte Wolves” (p. 31)

• We challenge ourselves to try at least four new bizarrities in every week’s groceries.
  • Chapter 9, “In Chinatown, Glittering Jackal Tantalizes Coyotes” (p. 61)

• Loopier than a snake in a garden hose.
  • Chapter 24, “A Glimpse into Wet, Dark Jewels” (p. 147)

• I’m not saying Hamza’s cheap, but if the only thing standing between our solar system and a fleet of intergalactic enslavers was Hamza’s wallet crunched inside his fist, we’d all be drilling methane wells on Pluto right now.
  • Chapter 28, “Glass Slippers or the Glass Slip?” (p. 160)

• There’s only two types of people in the world, Ye, weird and boring.
  • Chapter 28, “Glass Slippers or the Glass Slip?” (p. 161)

• People are so lazy, they want everything to be simple, but nothing is simple. Nothing.
  • Chapter 31, “Saturday Morning Mission” (p. 173)

• People get accustomed to evil like they get accustomed to smog or noise or graffiti! But it doesn’t change what it is.
  • Chapter 34, “On Good, Evil, Invisible Hands, and the Wind” (p. 192)

• They’re everything that’s wrong in this instant-coffee and microwave age. ‘I want it now.’ There used to be that romantic image of going off to Tibet and climbing the mountain to speak to the wise man. And when you got to the top, he could tell you the truths of the universe. Now people wanna take a helicopter to the top—or e-mail him!
  • Chapter 34, “On Good, Evil, Invisible Hands, and the Wind” (p. 193)

• Sky’s so big and dazzling and buzzing and crackling and moaning with all that black silence, I feel like my skull is open to space, all that way-beyond soaking directly into my brain. Stars and stars and stars...some of em planets, some of em satellites. All of em out there, alone, untouchable.
  • Chapter 39, “Telescope to Avalon” (p. 226)

• All organic. No chemicals here, no way. The red globe grapes, $8.99 a kilo. I take a pawful, pop em, one at a time. They crunch. This is my only wine. This is my Sunday sacrament...sweet and honest and decent. No lies from chemists, or from priests.
  You wanna heal your soul? Step one is healing your soil.
  • Chapter 44, “The Long, Long Drive to Nowhere” (p. 250)

• It is better not to know and to know that one does not know, than presumptuously to attribute some random meaning to symbols.
  • Chapter 46, “Prelude to the Negative Confession” (p. 260)

• Good people get hurt—bad people get ahead, get rich, get your girl. Good doesn’t triumph over evil. So, do I believe in God?
  He doesn’t believe in me.
  • Chapter 56, “At Last, the Box, Explained” (p. 319)

• Good triumphs over evil when it’s better organized, better trained, better armed, sneakier, and gutsier than evil.
  • Chapter 56, “At Last, the Box, Explained” (p. 320)

• How odd—disturbing, in fact—to hear someone address a god with such profane irreverence. But I suppose that the history of mythology is nothing if not proof that celestials are the instructors of man’s worst sins.
  • Chapter 77, “The Two Sovereigns” (p. 438)

• Nothing like hope to doom you.
  • Chapter 79, “The Badlands” (p. 457)

• It’s a special kind of hugging, the kind where deep down you’re facing the unspoken fact that this’s the last time you’re gonna hold somebody, and so you make your cells hold on, make em drink in somebody’s scent and texture, so you can keep em with you after the world has taken em away.
  • Chapter 90, “Unfurl the Sails, Speak the Names of the Stars” (p. 514)

• I know I’m not the same man I was eight days ago.
  And I know it’s time to find out who I am.
  • Prologue (p. 524; closing words)

• That uncountable myths and legends and ecclesiastical operas and dirges have at their core, if not in their trappings, near identical mechanisms, performances, and outcomes is proof most solid of the centrality of the panhuman subconscious—or superconscious—experience of the myriad and manifold wonders and terrors of the cosmos.
  • Appendix (p. 525)

• Much has been dissected from among the myths to explore the significance of the mortal endurance and experience of pain. Pain, we are told, purifies the body, expands the mind, prepares the novice for the tests of life and therefore for initiation into the clan, the sect, the tribe, the gang, the squadron, the priesthood, the academy, the coven, or the board. It is clear that such suppositions regarding physical or emotional pain are true; little more need be said on such matters.
  • Appendix (p. 527)

• The history of human development can neatly be divided into two epochs: (1) the feminine, yin, agro-sedentary pastoral idyll of the old-to-late Paleolithic Mother-Earth-Goddess religions and (2) the masculine, yang, technomobile hunter-gatherer-warrior field effect of urbanized, late-Neolithic-to-Modern Father-Sky-God religions.
  • Appendix (p. 527)

From the Notebooks of Dr. Brain (2007)

Nominated for the 2007 Philip K. Dick Award.

All page numbers from the trade paperback first edition published by Ballantine Books, ISBN 978-0-345-46637-2

• “You know, in my experience,” said Kareem, caging his fingers and drawing out his words, “the jokers...who talk the most about ‘playing the race card’...are the people who own all the diamonds...who’ve picked up the clubs...to beat down the spades...because they’ve got no heart.”
  • Chapter 1, “Operation: Cooperation!” (p. 14)

• Paranoia speaks to a deeper drive than fear. Paranoia is a defiant charge to a cold, unfeeling cosmos: “Hear me! I exist! I’m important!” Because after all, if someone is actually orchestrating the chaos of the universe against you personally, then you do matter. When no one seems to care anymore, at least “enemies” give you the comforting illusion that you count.
  • Chapter 1, “Operation: Cooperation!” (p. 31)

• “Babydoll, when ain’nuthin funny, eat what’s sweet. That’s my philosophy.”
  • Chapter 2, “Facing the Ultimate Archenemy” (p. 45)

• “What do I ‘feel’?” he sneered...Did you actually ask me what I ‘feel’? I ‘feel’ I’m surrounded by morons!”
  • Chapter 2, “Facing the Ultimate Archenemy” (p. 51)

• As Carl Jung said, avoidance of legitimate suffering is the root of all mental illness. And one truth you must suffer is that everything and everyone you love will eventually die.
  Even gods.
  • Chapter 2, “Facing the Ultimate Archenemy” (p. 57)

• Even if victory were possible, it still couldn’t provide meaning or genuine happiness, because saying “I want to be the best” is simply the polite way of saying “I want everyone else to be worse.”
  • Chapter 2, “Facing the Ultimate Archenemy” (p. 58)

• I never sought glory. Basic respect would suffice.
  • Chapter 3, “Clash of the Icons” (p. 69)

• The id isn’t satisfied with “enough,” because enough is never enough. The id always needs more, or specifically, more than anybody else. So “enough” becomes “more than” which becomes “all.” And even then, the id fears that all can be taken away; therefore crushing the capacity of others to resist becomes paramount.
  • Chapter 3, “Clash of the Icons” (p. 75)

• It’s inevitable that worship decays into contempt, because worship is ultimately about being trapped, being a slave.
  • Chapter 4, “Iconoclastic means “I Can!”” (pp. 84-85)

• Believing in anyone more than you believe in yourself causes you to suspend your own judgment, which leads to counter-self-actualization, or self-deactivation.
  • Chapter 4, “Iconoclastic means “I Can!”” (p. 106)

• Take responsibility for your own happiness, rather than claiming telepathy you don’t have (unless you are telepathic) or ascribing to others ugly thoughts you can’t verify, and aiming endless, nonspecific blame for your mediocrity at the Trilateral Commission, “the media,” SKULL, the RAND Corporation, the long-disbanded Treemasons, the MAN, the Black Helicopter Legion, or the perennial favorite of paranoiacs, “Them.”
  • Chapter 5, “Limited Series” (p. 151)

• The self-delusion that mysterious forces and persons unknown are conspiring against us is, surprisingly, a comforting belief, because it means we’re significant enough in this anarchic world to warrant someone’s enmity. That delusion saves us from the far more difficult to accept reality: that we’re not that important to anyone. That the universe just isn’t “into” us.
  Paranoia is the emotive-psychestructure’s response to feeling ignored, unloved, or forgotten in an existence filled with random acts of destructive indifference emphasizing the inherent futility of life and struggle. If you’re ever to achieve serenity, ultimately you must accept that in such a vast cosmos, you simply don’t matter very much.
  • Chapter 6, “Up is Down: The Path Inside is Outside” (p. 185)

• Lack of verifiability was a paranoiac’s playground paradise.
  • Chapter 7, “Who Are You, Really? Secret Origins and Secret Shames” (p. 192)

• All of them cite that toxic spew, even though there’s not a syllable of supporting evidence. Because the controversy itself became news. Save a country, save a world, save a child—it doesn’t matter. You don’t need proof or even evidence to burn down a man’s soul. All you need is accusation.
  • Chapter 8, “Unrequited Hate” (p. 239)

• When dysfunctional self-distraction devolves into delusional self-destruction, neurosis turns into psychosis.
  • Chapter 8, “Unrequited Hate” (p. 251)

• We spent too much damn time getting down. Now it’s time to get up.
  • Chapter 9, “Paranoia: It Can Destroy Ya” (p. 258)

• The two former lovers finally looked at each other, their faces crawling with the crabs of conflicting emotion.
  • Chapter 9, “Paranoia: It Can Destroy Ya” (p. 283)

• Hnossi glowered at her daughter, a look cold enough to freeze sunshine and shatter it on the pavement.
  • Chapter 10, “The Battle of All Mothers, the Mother of All Battles” (p. 298)

• That diabolical deviant is smarter than he smells.
  • Chapter 11, “Self-Distraction is Self-Destruction” (p. 323)

• When people are suffering, they usually hurt the people closest to them, because those are the only ones left around.
  • Chapter 11, “Self-Distraction is Self-Destruction” (p. 325)

The Alchemists of Kush (2011)

All page numbers from the trade paperback third edition published by MVmedia, ISBN 978-1-73722-774-8, in 2021

Each Part of the book contains a chapter each of The Book of Then and The Book of Now, each with separate section numbering

All spelling, italics, bold, and ellipses as in the book

• “Never,” said the man to Rap’s silent consideration, “underestimate the stupidity of anybody who wants to be a saviour.”
  • Part 2, “Revolution”, “The Book of Now”, Section 11 (pp. 58-59)

• There’re two types of the people in the world. Those who do what they say they’re gonna do, and everybody else.
  • Part 2, “Revolution”, “The Book of Now”, Section 13 (p. 60)

• “You know what supernovas are?”
  “Yeah,” said JC. “Like, super-duper huge mega-stars. That explode.”
  “That’s right, young brother. Where’d you learn that?”
  “Star Trek,” he said.
  “Good,” chuckled Mr. Ani. “Me too, probably. In the olden days. So let’s transform all this.
  “People are born lead, and most people stay that way their whole lives. They’re the Leadites.
  “And they’re easily led astray by those who’re turned into—or who turn themselves into—the Pyrites. The Pyrites are like pirates because they hijack people, keep em hostage, steal their treasure, and prevent them from ever getting where they’re supposed to go, even dumping them on islands in the middle of nowhere or drowning them at sea.
  “And any gold they find, they steal it and hoard it, and even bury it in chests under the sand.”
  The boys nodded, grasping fragments, knowing that others were just beyond their fingertips.
  “So who’s left? Gold. From supernovas, light-sources so powerful they can outshine entire galaxies. Gold is knowledge: the most precious thing in the universe.
  “If you have everything and don’t have knowledge, you can’t use what you do have or appreciate how much it’s worth, so to you, it’s actually worthless.
  If you don’t have true gold, you spend your whole life chasing after and stockpiling pyrite thinking it’s worth something, when actually, it’s worth nothing.”
  • Part 3, “Triumph”, “The Book of Now”, Section 4 (p. 80)

• “You think this is what the gods want? What the gods won’t punish?”
  Great. One of those religious weirdos. “Gods this” and “punish that.” At least in my mum’s camp, I didn’t have to listen to that crap. She used to laugh at people like that. “What good are the gods?” she’d say. “Don’t be thanking them. I’m the one who got you this food.”
  • Part 4, “Ancestor-I”, “The Book of Then”, Section 2 (p. 102)

• The Master said, “The ancestors scatter their wisdom like a sower his seeds, and those who would feast must first sweat beneath the sun.”
  • Part 4, “Ancestor-I”, “The Book of Then”, Section 4 (p. 105)

• But women aren’t like, like…computers or suh’m. You can’t just get an access code and then programme em to do what you want em to. Trust me. About three billion guys’ve had to learn the same lesson.
  • Part 4, “Ancestor-I”, “The Book of Now”, Section 4 (p. 114)

• No such things as magic or miracles, the old man’d told him. Just the universe giving you endless chances to reflect and learn something through your Daily Alchemy. Up to you whether you actually did.
  • Part 5, “Father-Brother-Son”, “The Book of Now”, Section 2 (p. 142)

• I’m a daughter, like all mothers are. And I’m a sister. One day I might even be a mother myself. So even though I’ve got rights and responsibilities in two of those roles now, I’m also preparing for the rights and responsibilities I’ll have as a mother.
  • Part 6, “Mother-Sister-Daughter”, “The Book of Now”, Section 5 (p. 171)

• Rap knew he was expected to say something. Knew what Moon taught him: if all you’ve got is dumb answers, ask a smart question.
  • Part 6, “Mother-Sister-Daughter”, “The Book of Now”, Section 6 (p. 175)

• “Raiders?”
  “Gun men. Men who plannedt to kill us or rape us or sell us into slavery, or rape us and then kill us—”
  “Who were they? I mean, which side were they on?”
  “Men with guns are always on the same side,” she said. “Whoever paidt for the guns.”
  • Part 6, “Mother-Sister-Daughter”, “The Book of Now”, Section 11 (p. 189)

• Them boys are so street they aint got asses—they got asphalt!
  • Part 7, “Replace-Elevate”, “The Book of Now”, Section 4 (p. 212)

• Maybe if they weren’t constantly being injection-fed MTV/MuchMusic bling and videhoes, some of them’d dream of becoming scientists instead of…whatever the hell it was they dreamed of.
  • Part 7, “Replace-Elevate”, “The Book of Now”, Section 4 (p. 214)

• “You’re still down with NWA?”
  “Why not?” He didn’t even mess with Moon’s implication. “The beats are dope. And they’ve got great flow. You can’t deny that.”
  “Hitler had great flow, too. And way more fans.”
  • Part 7, “Replace-Elevate”, “The Book of Now”, Section 9 (p. 222)

• Your spirituality is what you do with the fires that burn within.
  • Part 7, “Replace-Elevate”, “The Book of Now”, Section 22 (p. 241)

• But khetiuta as insane as they were? They slithered with snakes just as full of isfet as they were. Khetiuta looking to make names for themselves, who didn’t know shit about cause and effect, or that every time they aimed the barrel, it stared back at them. And men too stupid to know that were dangerous beyond measure.
  • Part 7, “Replace-Elevate”, “The Book of Now”, Section 31 (p. 257; “khetiuta” means fiends or devils; “isfet” means disorder, deceit, chaos)

• But why? I asked. Since before I was born, why this mission of destruction? What threat could we possibly pose to him?
  Anyone who shows he can survive outside the realm of Set, proves it can be done. That another, better world is possible…there is no greater threat to a tyrant than this truth.
  • Part 8, “Righteousness & Mastery”, “The Book of Then”, Section 3 (p. 274)

• We expect you to debate everything. Question it all. Turn it upside down. They are your tools for investigating the universe. Don’t hide em away. Use them, all the time. The truth can always be questioned. Only lies die in the light.
  • Part 9, “Create-Supreme”, “The Book of Now”, Section 6 (p. 337)

• And then once you started overturning everything, how are you sposta to know when you could stop?
  • Part 9, “Create-Supreme”, “The Book of Now”, Section 6 (p. 337)

• “C’mon, now. You know I’m right. Look at history. How many butchers got butchered? How many super-thieves paid back the people they ripped off and then set the people up in mansions? And how could anybody ever pay you back for taking the life of someone you loved?
  “So Golden Falcon prepares us. Says, ‘forget payback. Forget ‘good triumphs over evil. Ain’gon happen. South Africa after apartheid? Right. Got millions who can’t even count on water or electricity.
  “So the story shoves our faces right in it: what it takes to turn people into the Destroyer. That if we keep lusting for revenge cuz justice is denied, we will become Destroyers. Probably of everything we believe in and everybody we care about.”
  • Part 0, “Peace-Life-Eternal”, “The Book of Now”, Section 4 (p. 358; The Book of the Golden Falcon is an ancient text referred to in the novel)

• J*Justice: “Justice is equality of rights in treatment, proportionate compensation for labour and punishment for crime, and compassion and relief for sufferers.”
  • Falconic Glossary (p. 379)

• Q*Question: “To question is to seek information so as to expand intelligence. Failing to question is to stagnate or destroy intelligence.”
  • Falconic Glossary (p. 382)

• T*Truth: “Truth means that which actually is, as opposed to lies, incorrect beliefs, fantasies or foolishness, and exists independently of thinkers.”
  • Falconic Glossary (p. 383)

War and Mir

Planned trilogy; the third book has not been written.

Ascension (2012)

All page numbers from the trade paperback first edition published by Narmer's Palette, ISBN 978-0-9869024-9-9, in 2021 (4th printing)

• She is being like jewelled dagger. Dazzles eye, but slits throat.
  • Chapter 24, “Offer and Honour” (p. 85)

• “We have a maxim,” says Thag. “Find the tallest structure, and you will know who runs the world.”
  • Chapter 36, “The Eternal City of Naayt” (p. 132)

• I’m not converting to anything, for anybody. Ever.
  • Chapter 41, “The Dark Path” (p. 147)

• Amazing how not censoring myself puts me in a good mood.
  • Chapter 47, “The Academy of Time” (p. 174)