MacGruber (film)

MacGruber is a 2010 SNL action-comedy film.

The Ultimate Tool (taglines)

MacGruber

I'm in.
If ripping throats gets that warhead back, I'll suck as many dicks as I've go— I'll rip as many throats as I have to!
You're loco, man!
- Subtited: You're crazy, man!
Never ever say 'never ever'.
Pound some Cunth.
I got a better idea, no fucking way!
I bet you wish your nose was a dick so you could fuck butts!
Classic Macgruber
That was fuckin' tits
Just tell me what you want me to fuck!

Vicki: I'm a virgin.

MacGruber: Not for long.

MacGruber: I just took an upper-decker in the master bathroom.

Vicki: Upper-decker?

MacGruber: Yeah, it's where you take a shit in the water tank and not the bowl- You look great.

MacGruber: Don't worry we got your back. We're only seven blocks away. So if anything goes down-

Vicki: Seven blocks?

MacGruber: [laughing] Okay, you got me. About twenty blocks.

Vicki: Wasn't there anything closer?

MacGruber: Nope.

Dixon: There were tons of spots closer.

MacGruber: Yeah! With meters!

[MacGruber is trying to defuse a nuclear warhead]

Vicki: Can you defuse it?

MacGruber: Are you kidding me? Look at all this crap! There's like a million wires in here. I'm more like a three wire guy!

[Vicki and MacGruber are driving away from an assassination attempt, believing Dixon, who is in the back to be dead]

Vicki: Is he dead?!

MacGruber: YES! HE'S DEAD!

[Dixon gets up]

Dixon: Jesus...

MacGruber: AHHHHHHHH!

Dixon: How did you know I was wearing a bulletproof vest?

MacGruber: You were wearing a bulletproof vest? ... Awesome!

Vicki: [dressed like MacGruber] If you're the one they want to come after why can't you be dressed like you?

MacGruber: Because...you are!

Dixon: [using a phone tracer] Now remember, MacGruber. You gotta keep him on the line long enough to get a location.

MacGruber: Don't worry, I've done this before. [to the phone] Now listen to me you piece of sh- he hung up. Did you get it?

Vicki: No.

MacGruber: Damn it! Is that thing working?

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MacGruber (film)