[after stopping a man for speeding] You gotta set of wheels that just won't quit, boy! If they's yours that is...[the man reaches for his gun but Sheriff Pepper draws his first] UH-UH! Spin around boy! Ten fingers on the fender. Legs apart. I take it this ain't exactly your debut at this sort of thing. You picked the WRONG parish to haul ass through BOY! NOBODY cuts and runs on Sheriff J.W. PEPPER! And it's him who's speakin' by the by.
M: I'm sure the over-burdened British taxpayer would be fascinated to know how its Special Ordinances section disperses its funds. In future, Commander, let me suggest a perfectly adequate watchmaker just down the street. [Bond activates the watch magnet, drawing to it M's spoon] Good God!
James Bond: You see, sir, by pulling out this button, it turns the watch into a hyper-intensified magnetic field. Powerful enough to even deflect the path of a bullet - at long range, or so Q claims...
M: I feel very tempted to test that theory right now!
Cab driver: You know where you're going?
James Bond: Uptown, I believe?
Cab driver: Uptown? You headed into Harlem, man!
James Bond: Well you just stay on the tail of that jukebox and there's an extra twenty in it for you.
Cab driver: Hey man, for twenty bucks I'd take you to a Ku Klux Klan cookout!
Rosie Carver: There's a...
James Bond: Oh, a snake. I forgot, I should have told you. You should never go in there without a mongoose.
Mr. Big:[to his men] Is this the stupid mother who tailed you uptown?
James Bond: There seems to be some mistake. My name is...
Mr. Big: Names is for tombstones, baby! Y'all take this honky out and WASTE HIM! NOW!
James Bond: I'm not in the habit of giving answers to... lackeys.
Mr. Big: You damn lucky you got an ear left to hear the question with!
[Bond has just explained the first two Lover's Lessons to Solitaire]
Solitaire: Is there time before we leave, for Lesson number 3?
James Bond: [undressing] Of course. There's no sense going out half-cocked.
Sheriff J.W. Pepper: [to Bond] There's that son of a bitch. I got him. [to Felix] What are you? Some kinda doomsday machine boy? Well WE got a cage strong enough to hold an animal like you here!
Felix Leiter: Captain, would you enlighten the Sheriff please?
State Police Captain: Yessir. J.W., let me have a word with ya. J.W., now this fellow's from London England. He's a Englishman workin' in cooperation with our boys, a sorta... secret agent.
Sheriff J.W. Pepper: Secret AGENT? On WHOSE side?
Tee-Hee: There are two ways to disable a croc, you know.
James Bond: I don't suppose you'd care to tell me what they are.
Tee-Hee: One way is to take a pencil and stick it in the pressure area above its eye.
James Bond: And the other way?
Tee-Hee: Oh, the other way is twice as simple. You just stick your hand in its mouth and pull its teeth out. Heh, heh.
State Trooper: That look like a boat stuck in the Sheriff's car there, Eddie?
Eddie: Boy, where you been all your life? That there's one of them new car-boats.
Sheriff J.W. Pepper: By the powers invested in me by this parish, I hereby do commandeer this vehicle and all those persons within. [spits and looks at Eddie] And that means you, smartass.
[Bond and Solitaire are about to be lowered into Kananga's shark pool]
Kananga: Whisper....[laughs]]....the gate!!
[Whisper opens the gate to allow the sharks into the pool, but too quickly]
Kananga: No, slowly Whisper, slowly..slowly. Let our diners assemble!
[after Kananga has been exploded by the compressed air pellet]
Solitaire: Where's Kananga?
James Bond: He always did have an over-inflated opinion of himself.