Lady Bird (film)

2017 film directed by Greta Gerwig

Lady Bird is a 2017 film about an artistically inclined seventeen-year-old girl who comes of age in Sacramento, California.

Directed and written by Greta Gerwig.
Time to fly.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson

  • Different things can be sad... it's not all war!
  • People go by the names their parents give them, but they don't believe in God.
  • I found when it happened that I really like dry humping more.
  • I was on top! Who the fuck is on top their first time!
  • I hate California, I want to go to the east coast. I want to go where culture is like, New York, or Connecticut or New Hampshire.
  • The only thing exciting about 2002 is that it's a palindrome.

Marion McPherson

  • Money is not life's report card. Being successful doesn't mean anything in and of itself. It just means that you're successful. But that doesn't mean that you're happy.

Larry McPherson

  • You're not gonna get in a car with a guy that honks, are ya?
  • Hey, I'm like Keith Richards. I'm just happy to be anywhere.


  • Julie Steffans: Some people aren't built happy, you know.
  • Kyle Scheible: You're gonna have so much unspecial sex in your life.


Sister Sarah Joan: You clearly love Sacramento.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: I do?
Sister Sarah Joan: You write about Sacramento so affectionately and with such care.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: I was just describing it.
Sister Sarah Joan: Well it comes across as love.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Sure, I guess I pay attention.
Sister Sarah Joan: Don't you think maybe they are the same thing? Love and attention?

Marion McPherson: I want you to be the very best version of yourself that you can be.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: What if this is the best version?

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Just because something looks ugly doesn't mean that it's morally wrong.
Casey Kelly: You think dead children aren't morally wrong?
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: No. I'm just saying that, if you took up close pictures of my vagina while I was on my period, it would be disturbing but it doesn't make it wrong.
Casey Kelly: Excuse me?
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Listen, if your mother had had the abortion, we wouldn't have to sit through this stupid assembly!

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Hey. [pause] I like your band. With Jonah Ruiz? L'Enfance Nue?
Kyle Scheible: [in French accent] L'Enfance Nue.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Uh. Well, I saw your Thanksgiving show. My name's Lady Bird.
Kyle Scheible: It's weird you shake hands.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Yeah. [pause] I'm friends with Jenna and she's always talking about how great your band is so I wanted to check it out.
Kyle Scheible: Yeah, Jenna's hella tight.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Yeah.
Kyle Scheible: Maybe I'll see you at the Deuce or something?
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Sure, see you at the Deuce.
Miguel McPherson: Hey, I'm not paying you to flirt.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: [exhales] I wasn't flirting.
Kyle Scheible: I wish you had been.

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Why can't you say I look nice?
Marion McPherson: I thought you didn't even care what I think.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: I still want you to think I look good.
Marion McPherson: Okay, I'm sorry. I was telling you the truth, do you want me to lie?
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: No, I mean, I just, I wish that you liked me.
Marion McPherson: Of course I love you.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: But do you like me?

Julie Steffans: Miss Patty assigned you a role by the way, you just never showed up to claim it.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: What role ?
Julie Steffans: The Tempest.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: There is no role of the Tempest!
Julie Steffans: It is the titular role!
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: No! It's a made-up thing so we all can participate.
Julie Steffans: You can't do anything unless you're the center of attention, can you?
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Yeah, well you know, your mom's tits, they're fake! Totally fake!
Julie Steffans: She made one bad decision at 19!
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Two bad decisions!

Marion McPherson: If you're tired, we can sit down.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: I'm not tired.
Marion McPherson: Oh, okay. I just couldn't tell because you were dragging your feet. [Lady Bird rolls her eyes] Well, I just couldn't tell.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Why didn't you just say "pick up your feet"?
Marion McPherson: I didn't know if you were tired.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: You're being passive aggressive.
Marion McPherson: No, I wasn't.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: You are SO INFURIATING!
Marion McPherson: Please stop yelling.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: I'm not yelling.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: [Marion picks out a pink dress] Oh, it's perfect!
Marion McPherson: Do you love it?

Danny O'Neill: Your mom is crazy, I'm scared of her.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: She's not crazy. She just, you know, she has a big heart. She's very warm.
Danny O'Neill: I don't find your mother warm.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: You don't?
Danny O'Neill: No. No, she's warm, yeah but she's also kind of scary.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Well you can't be scary and warm.
Danny O'Neill: I think you can, your mom is.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: You're gay!


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