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- Jews can't eat pork - surely anal delights are way higher up on the list of taboos.
- Oedipus Wrecked, "Ass Backwards", p. 4 (2005)
- Maybe my desire to find meaning in all of this was just a remnant of my obsessive-compulsive behavior, and yet it felt as though a map was being drawn for me, but every landmark was a riddle that needed solving before I could unearth my own lost treasure: myself.
- Are You There God? It's Me. Kevin., p. 192 (2008)