Kerching
television series
Kerching (2003–2006) is a sitcom aimed at teenagers on CBBC that details the lives of Taj, Danny and Semour. The programme revolves around the Chill - a local restaurant - and Taj's 'Rudeboy' money-making schemes.
Series 1
edit- Taj: I've lost 10 grand!
- Danny: Check down the back of the sofa.
- Danny: Hey look it's what's-her-name, flea, flame, fla...
- Taj: Fleur.
- Danny: I was getting there! Seymour here's your big chance!
- Seymour: Don't rush me bro! I'm leaving her, twisting in the wind, waiting for the right moment, then I'll strike like a cobra!
- Danny: pretends to chuckle to himself You're too scared, aren't ya?
- Seymour: Oh yeah!
- Danny: All my love i've got to send ya!
'cos you're so pretty fine and tender... - Seymour: Stop, stop. I didn't know you felt this way about me :’’’Danny’’’!
- Fluer: Oh Hiya Seymour. What you been up to?
- Seymour: I... i i erm. been you look, i mean....
- Fluer: I hope the end of these sentences are good!
- Danny: and Taj laugh in the background
- Seymour: Thats erm me yeh erm funny haha no funny erm weird.
- Ricardo walks in.
- Ricardo:Alright me lovely (to fleur) where have you been all my life?
- Taj: Sane! While you haven't been bothering her. Did i mention i am Sonny on Hollyoaks now?
Series 2
edit- Taj: I'll tell you three things I did wrong (looks at Danny) 1, walk like I was wearing cardboard underwear (looks at Seymour) 2, act like I didn't care and 3, listen to you two glovepuppets! (Walks off)
- Danny: (counting on fingers) isn't that four? (Seymour hits Danny and holds up three fingers)
- Taj: Oh great, pay me in cans.
- Danny: How you gonna fit that in your wallet?
- Missy: (to customer) Like I told you an hour ago, I'll be with you in a minute.
- Seymour: Do we have to wear the chef's hats?
- Alex: It was the only way I could get Carlton to lend us his kitchen.
- Danny: How's he going to know if we don't wear them?
- Carlton: You'd be surprised!
- Danny and Seymour are caring for a baby simulator
- Seymour: You're a good baby aren't you Ainsley!
- Danny: I'm not calling our baby Ainsley, she's Kareesha-sha-sha-sha!
- Seymour: Danny, she's a he!
- Danny: How do you know?
- Seymour: How do you think I know?
- Danny: Ainsley it is then!
- Ricardo: My Dad says he's always known I've had talent. But now, he's says it time I have some real responsibility...
- Danny: What, he's going to let you tie your own shoelaces?!!
- Seymour: You sent a Rudeboy Master, with Taj's name on it, to Ricardo. You, you plughole!
- Danny: But, but you confused me, man!
- Seymour: Danny, bananas confuse you!
- The boys try to steal back the Rudeboy Master from Hip City
- Taj: Where's Danny?
- Seymour: He's under trance!
- (Danny pops up from behind a vinyl disc section labelled "Trance")
- Taj: Now I'm gonna be late meeting Alex because of you two!
- Seymour: Don't blame me, blame DJ Airhead over there!
Series 3
edit- Flashback: start of Rudeboy
- Younger Taj: I'm the man now. Do you know what that means?
- Younger Danny: First pick of the biscuit tin!
- Younger Seymour: No Danny, you...you...biscuit tin!
- Ricardo: We're called 20-20.
- Michael: Because you have a clear, creative vision?
- Ricardo: No, because there's 40 of us. We make So-Solid-Crew look like Nobby-No-Mates!
- Kareesha: Carlton finally got another waitress. And fancy being called "Baz".
- Jazmin: Actually it's Jaz-min.
- Danny, Seymour, Taj, Omar, Mrs Lewis and Kareesha look at her
- Kareesha screams
- (Ricardo is unsure whether to go and live with his mum in Italy, or with his Dad in Manchester)
- Michael: But I thought you loved in Italy, bro.
- Ricardo: Yeah, but I can't speak a word of Italian.
- Alex: Then move to Manchester with your Dad.
- Ricardo: If I can't learn Italian, how am I gonna learn Manchesterian...
- Michael rolls his eyes
- Danny: After discovering Taj was dating Alex You mean lying. Tajan Lewis! How dare you treat your boyfriends... I mean friends like this.
Series 4
edit- Danny has sent the childish radio advertisement jingle Rudebunny to a local radio station, and it is playing.
- Taj: Danny what was the last thing I said to you before you left?!
- Danny: Don't get 'em mixed up
- Taj: And what did you do?
- Danny: I got 'em mixed up
Characters
edit- Taj Lewis - Devon Anderson
- Seymour Franklin - Tendayi Jembere
- Danny Spooner - Jamie Sweeney
- Missy Lewis - Tisha Martin
- Kareesha Lopez - Velile Tshabalala
- Josephine Lewis - Judy Browne
- Omar Lewis - Jaeden Burke
- Ricardo Murray - Danny Young
- Carlton - Curtis Walker
- Tamsin - Hannah Tointon
- Leon - Joe Gritt
- Alex Moss - Elspeth Rae
