K-9 (TV series)
British/Australian comedy/adventure series
- Starkey: You again. Jorjie, isn't it? What do you want?
- Jorjie: Same as you. To make a difference.
- Starkey: I've told you before. "Stark Reality" works alone.
- Jorjie: Fine. What about plain old Starkey, then? He's not a lone wolf, is he?
- Starkey: How'd you get my real name?
- Jorjie: Hacked your criminal activity file. I admire your work. I want to help.
- Starkey: [to the Jixen] Whatever you are, I'm sure we can work this out like reasonable human- [catches himself] -aliens.
- [K9 has just self-destructed and destroyed the Jixen.]
- Jorjie: We was being our friend, Starkey. He destroyed the creatures.
- Starkey: And himself. For us. He protected us.
- [K9 has just regenerated.]
- K9: G'day, mates. Bonjour. [continues in various languages]
- Gryffen: That's extraordinary.
- K9: Hello. Howdy. Hello. [repeats "hello" in several different voices]
- Jorjie: He's going to fire again!
- Starkey: No, he's not. Good dog. Heel, boy! Heel!
- K9: This unit does not appreciate the term "dog," "boy," or "heel." Regeneration unity log indicates you saved it from damage.
- Starkey: What are you?
- K9: What am I? My name is...K9. I do not know when or where I am. Commencing orientation protocols. Flying! [starts to fly] Left! Right! Up! And away we go!
The Korven [1.3]Edit
The Bounty Hunter [1.4]Edit
Sirens of Ceres [1.5]Edit
Fear Itself [1.6]Edit
The Fall of the House of Gryffen [1.7]Edit
Jaws of Orthrus [1.8]Edit
The Curse of Anubis [1.10]Edit
Alien Avatar [1.12]Edit
The Last Oak Tree [1.14]Edit
Black Hunger [1.15]Edit
The Cambridge Spy [1.16]Edit
Lost Library of UKKO [1.17]Edit
Mutant Copper [1.18]Edit
The Custodians [1.19]Edit
Taphony and the Time Loop [1.20]Edit
Robot Gladiators [1.21]Edit
Mind Snap [1.22]Edit
Angel of the North [1.23]Edit
The Last Precinct [1.24]Edit
Hound of the Korven [1.25]Edit
- K9: [counting down until self-destruct] 7...6...5...4...
- Starkey: Stay!
- K9: [pauses] Sorry, young master. I've managed to reroute my circuits. I'm in control of them again.
- Darius: Wish I could say the same about mine.
- K9: I have overridden the program. Imminent explosion averted. This unit is no longer being used by the Korven. [suddenly starts again] 4...3...2...1... [pauses] Bang.
- Starkey: K9, tell me that wasn't a joke.
- K9: Very well, young master. That wasn't a joke.
- Darius: You can laugh?
- Jixen: Of course! Jixen are famous for their sense of hunger!
The Eclipse of the Korven [1.26]Edit
- Inspector Thorne: We've developed a weapon. A super-soldier created from the DNA of every species we've encountered. Jixen, Anubian, Meron, you name it.
- K9: And implanted with my regeneration tech. This unit would like it back, please.
- Inspector Thorne: But it's a small contribution to the weapon that would save this planet.
- K9: A weapon that cannot possibly work.
- Inspector Thorne: Well his cloaking tech seems to work. He's been in this room all along.
- K9: So he is the huge, invisible pile of DNA in the corner, then.
- Inspector Thorne: How could you detect him?
- K9: I'm K9.
- Inspector Thorne: Meet Project Trojan!
[Project Trojan, a massive monster, appears out of thin air.]
- Gryffen: Stay safe! [quietly] I'm rather fond of you all.
- Jorjie: Do you remember what Gryffen said before we left about being fond?
- Starkey: Yeah.
[The two go in for a kiss]
- CCPC: Oi! You two! Invading each other's personal space!
- Gryffen: [frantically calling for help] Starkey, come in. Darius, please! Jorjie! Jean, come in! ...I can't let my planet be destroyed.
- Gryffen: [on video] This is Professor Alistair Gryffen. My friends are in terrible danger. I'm unable to contact a single one. I believe...I'm their only hope of survival...and...perhaps that of the entire human race. Me. Agoraphobic, reclusive shut-in. So if you're watching this, it means that I didn't just sit here in this house doing nothing as I have done for so long. It means that Alistair Gryffen finally stood up and did something. Today, I don't just sit where I am. I hit the bottom, and there's nowhere to go but up. [in real life, looking out the front door] And out.
- Thorne: Gryffen would never terminate the STM. Without it, he'd never see his precious family again. What were their names again?
- Gryffen: [angrily] You want to know their names?! Their names were Eleanor, Mina, and Jacob!
[as K9 dies]
- Darius: You're the coolest thing that ever happened to me.
- Jorjie: Remember all the times I tried to teach you how to have fun? I've had a lifetime of fun since I met you. [starting to cry] I'll never forget you.
- Starkey: You're right, K9. You're not a dog. You're my best friend. You used to think I was brave. You've shown me what it's like to be fearless. I'm gonna miss you, mate.
- K9: Yes...young master. [powers down]
- Starkey: You're a good dog.
[after K9 regenerates, final words of the season]
- Starkey: So, we're back in business, K9?
- K9: Affirmative, young master! Affirmative!!