Johnny Test

Johnny Test is an animated television series about the adventures of the eponymous Johnny Test, an 11-year-old boy.

Season 1

Johnny to the Center of the Earth/Johnny X

Hank: [first lines] And here's the news, Porkbelly. Police are still trying to catch the mysterious underground bandits! [a stop sign appears, and a trio of bikers comes to a stop, their clothes and motorcycles get stolen]

Bling-Bling Boy: Johnny, your sisters-

Dukey: Don't get me started with his sisters. They use their only brother as their personal test tube, and they turned me into a canine freak!

Bling-Bling Boy: -gave me this. [holds out the Micro-Physic Flakes]

SUV Salesman: Now don't think of it as an SUV..Think of it as an insult you drive.

Johnny vs. Bling-Bling Boy/Johnny Impossible

Neighbor: I'll call your mother, the police, and Santa!!

Dukey: Johnny, do you even know what you're doing?

Johnny: Yes. I'm pushing colourful buttons.

Dukey: Okay, here's the plan: You check out that menacing-looking fake volcano, and I'll check out that forest full of fresh trees!

Bling-Bling Boy's Mom: Son, what are you doing up there?

Bling-Bling Boy: [finishing up an evil plan] Mother, I'm studying.

Johnny Test: Party Monster/Johnny Test: Extreme Crime Stopper

Dukey: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

Johnny: If you were a finger, I'd pick you a booger.

Deep Sea Johnny/Johnny & the Amazing Turbo Action Backpack

Johnny: Dad, why are we here so early? The water's not even awake yet!

Mr. Test: If you want to get a good spot on the beach, you have to get there- [the beach completely fills up with people] -early.

Susan: Interesting. Your skin seems to change colour with different moods. Try calming down. [Mary calms down and turns blue] You're blue! I've invented a mood lotion! [Mary gets mad and turns red again] Oh, now you're red again...

Season 2

JTV/Johnny Vs Bling-Bling 2

Johnny: Set it for 11 years old, Sissy's coming over in five minutes!

Bling-Bling Boy: Then maybe she likes to play with a 11 day old! Because i...tricked you!

[Susan snatches Bling-Bling's diaper]

Susan: Hello "Todd". Or should I say... Eugene?

Johnny Test in Black & White/Johnny The Kid

Hugh: Dinner time! This is the last of the jerky, so take small bites.

Lila: Jerky!? WE'RE ALL SICK OF JERKY!! [she slaps the plate out of Dad's hands, smashing it into pieces]

Season 3

Johnny vs. Bling Bling 3/Stinkin' Johnny

[Johnny and Dukey come up with a plan to destroy the TV]

Johnny: So you pitch me the ball and I accidentally hit it through the open family room window and bash! Right into the old stinky TV. It breaks and dad buys a new one. Now pitch, dog!

[Dukey throws the ball to Johnny, but Johnny accidentally hit Hugh's car windshield]

Dukey: That was the windshield on your dad's car.

Johnny: 3, 2, 1...

Hugh: JOHNNY!!

Dukey: Run!

[Johnny and Dukey run off]

[before Johnny beats The Caveman, he decided to test his costume by knocking out his opponents]

Bumper: So I get to beat up Test and you guys won't call my mom?

Susan and Mary: Beat away.

Bumper: Awesome! [he runs off to beat up Johnny]

Johnny: [sprays gas at Bumper] Awesome!

[the 3 dogs bark evilly as they run until Johnny sprays perfume them, Hugh angrily arrives home and confronts Johnny after breaking his car's windshield]

Hugh: Johnny! You are in big trouble mister, and you look ridiculous and- [Johnny sprays gas on him to make him hush]

Dukey: [walks up to Johnny] Okay, let's go get that $10,000.

Johnny: Oh you can say that again! [The Caveman runs up to him but he realize that he ran out of stink after spending it on the wrestlers] Whoa! Didn't see that coming!

Dukey: [angrily] HE'S OUT OF STINK!

Dukey: Come on! The door's open. Run! Run for your life!

[Johnny runs away and holds Dukey but he ends up getting hooked by The Caveman's trap]

Johnny: [hanging on the hook's trap] I'm stuck, I'm stuck, I'm stuck!

[The Caveman laughs as he is satisfied that Johnny is defeated]

Dukey: [angrily to Susan and Mary] I told you this was dangerous! I told you something could go wrong!

Susan: What do we have to say? We're right.

[Johnny gets scared when The Caveman prepares defeat him]

Announcer: Now The Caveman is mad and he's getting his club. And that means Stinkin' Johnny is gonna get it too! [laughs] Nothing can save Stinkin' Johnny now.

Hugh: [comes in angrily dressed as the Cagin' Mad Dad] STOP RIGHT THERE!

Johnny: Dad?

Announcer: Except for the Cagin' Mad Dad!

[everyone laughs as The Caveman feels very annoyed]

Hugh: And that is my son and although he's in big trouble. You'll be in more if you lay 1 hand- [The Caveman throws him out and he lands on Dukey's back] Ooh, soft landing! AND YOU'LL ALL BE IN BIG TROUBLE!

Mary: [worried] But not as much as Johnny!

[The Caveman grabs Johnny off the hook]

Johnny: Hey, now! If you could just put me down so I could go home and forget this whole-

The Caveman: Uh-huh!

Johnny: Yeah, I didn't think so.

[as The Caveman prepares to defeat Johnny, Lila (who is the Overprotective Mom) climbs on The Caveman's back to grab his arm to avoid punching Johnny]

Announcer: And the madness continues as the Caveman must now take the OVERPROTECTIVE MOM!

Lila: Don't you dare lay a finger on that boy!

The Caveman: Ooh! [he laughs as he presses Johnny's costume, then Lila grabs his arm and throws him on the floor 3 times]

Announcer: And The Caveman is down for a triple way! [Lila jumps on The Caveman's back] And the body slam! Rope dive!

[Lila jumps on The Caveman's back again]

Hugh: You see girls? That's why I never upset your mother.

Announcer: [as Lila finishes off to defeat The Caveman] UNBELIEVABLE! The Caveman is coming back to 1 last attack.

Hugh: Oh, he really shouldn't do that.

[The Caveman lands on Lila's feet as Lila pushes him out of the cage with her feet while Susan, Hugh, and Mary quickly escape, but Susan runs back to grab Dukey as The Caveman lands on the wrestlers which causes them to wake up]

Announcer: And the Overprotective Mom wins!

[everyone cheers after Lila won and defeated The Caveman]

Johnny: [satisfied; after his mom saved him] You were awesome! You were amazing! And you're gonna punish me, right?

Lila: Oh, big time.

[Johnny sighs thinking that he'll be grounded the next day]

[the next day, Lila and Hugh are both watching wrestling on the new HDTV while Johnny, Dukey, Susan and Mary are outside grounded]

Susan: Well, the bad news is mom and dad kept the $10,000.

Mary: But the good news is they bought a new HDTV with it.

Johnny: Which I can't watch for a month 'cause I'm grounded from TV.

Susan and Mary: And us from the lab.

Dukey: Right, so let's play some ball! [he throws the baseball to Johnny which causes him to break the new HDTV] That was the TV.

Johnny: [counting by his fingers] 3, 2, 1.

Lila and Hugh: [offscreen; angrily] JOHNNY!!

[it can be revealed that Johnny, Dukey, and possibly Susan and Mary, might get grounded even more to find out who was breaking the new HDTV as the episode ends]

Johnny X and the Attack of the Snowman/Johnny vs. Dukey

Bumper: [while twisting Johnny's arm] Say uncle Test!

Johnny: No!

Bumper: Say, say uncle!

Johnny: Never!

Bumper: Say uncle and I'll give you your arm back.

Johnny: I never say uncle!

Bumper: Huh? Okay. Then I guess I gotta up the ante in say uncle!

Johnny'mon/Bathtime for Johnny

Hugh: [after he turns off the TV in front of Johnny and Dukey] Johnny, do something else besides watch Tiny'Mon. Go outside and play a game or something.

Hugh: [shows up and takes the game away from the boys] Johnny, THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT!

Johnny: But, dad, I'm training to be a Tiny-Mon master, so I can snag more Tiny'Mons so I can catch the Legendary Screechereen, which may or may not exist.

Hugh: Johnny, there are only 2 things in this world I don't understand and that's woman and Tiny'Mon. [Dukey yawns] And you need to stop playing or you'll get lost inside your own Tiny'Mon world and NEVER COME OUT! [he leaves with Johnny and Dukey's game]

Dukey: We're going to the lab aren't we?

Dukey: Cuddlebuns? He's cute, but he stinks! [Cuddlebuns makes a sad face] He can't win! WE'RE DOOMED! I'm gonna loose my mind now. [He screams three times before fainting.]

Johnny: [voiceover; as he comes to school stinky] 1. There's always a seat on the bus. 2. I get to skip the lines in the cafeteria. And 3. Which is the best of all, I'm my own science project. Ta-da! [cut to him at home] Therefore, I will never take a bath again! [leaves]

Dukey: [surprised] You didn't bathe for 5 weeks and rub fish on yourself for me?

Johnny: Uh-huh. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you.

Johnny Fu/Johnny Escape from Bling Bling Island

Bling-Bling Boy's Mom: [after hearing Johnny broke a plant] EUGENE! THAT'S IT! And you broke a plant! You are in so much trouble mister! [he grabs Bling-Bling's ear]

Bling-Bling Boy: Ow-ow-ow! I will have revenge Johnny Test! Ow mom, that hurts!

Season 4

Johnny's New Baby Sisters/Porta Johnny

[Babies start crying, with stink lines coming from the kitchen]

Gil:: Johnny! The babies--they smell really, really bad, kind of like anal beads!

Johnny:: And that's why you need to change...their diapers!

[Johnny pulls out a clean diaper and gives it to Gil.]

[Gil faints from the smell]

[Babies are on the table, crying, with stink lines coming from their diapers]

Johnny:: (to Dukey) You gotta change them.

Runaway Johnny/Johnny on the Spot

[Mr. Black and Mr. White have caught Johnny and Dukey and are escorting them home.]

Mr. White: Okay, we want answers. Why did you resist a police officer?

Johnny: Why are you police officers?

Mr. Black: I blew up Malaysia.

Papa Johnny/The Johnnyminster Dog Show

Johnny: You wouldn't last a day in my shoes.

Hugh: YOU COULDN'T LAST AN HOUR IN MINE!!!!!

Susan & Mary: We can arrange that.

Hugh: Being stuffed into my own locker by Bumper is still better than toilet plunging.

[A long while after Hugh and Johnny swap brains.]

Johnny: I can't take it. DAD WINS! I just want my horrible childhood back!

Hugh: And I want my awful life back!

Johnny: I'm so sorry, Dad! And, I love you, man.

Hugh: I love you too, son. And Bumper's coming here to kick your butt. I mean my butt. I mean HELP!

[When Johnny (in Hugh's body) is about to shoot Bumper with a marshmallow shooter loaded with sprouts.]

Johnny: You leave me... ahem... I mean, (tries to imitate Hugh's voice) my son alone!

Bumper: Are those Brussels sprouts?

Johnny: Boiled. No butter, no salt.

[When Johnny (in Hugh's body) shoots Bumper with a marshmallow shooter loaded with sprouts. Bumper swallows the Brussels sprouts.]

Bumper: Ah! I give up, Test with a cold! You win! YOU WIN!!! [Runs away, crying]

Hugh (in Johnny's body): [Notices that Lila is Home due to car skidding noises] And now, it's about to get worse.

Lila: Why is the house smoking with burned cupcakes all over the lawn?! [Camera zooms out showing the house is smoking with burned cupcakes all over the lawn.] And why did I get a call from the Principal saying: "Johnny cuts school"!?

Johnny (in Hugh's body): Yep, we're dead.

[Lila is shocked]

Johnny (in Hugh's body): (tries to imitate Hugh's voice) Uh, uh, I mean, I have a cold.

Lila: Someone tell me what's going on!

Johnny (in Hugh's body): We switched places to find out who had a tougher life. And they're both pretty tough! And frankly, Mom, you should take advantage of Dad.

Lila: You switched their BODIES?!

Susan: No! We switched their brains.

Lila: Oh. WELL, SWITCH THEM BACK!

[Susan & Mary swap Hugh and Johnny's brains.]

Johnny & Hugh: I'm back to normal!!

Lila: But I'm still mad at all of you! I worked hard all day and all week, and I don't want to come home to a destroyed house. And now, (Yelling) I HAVE TO MAKE THE CUPCAKES!!!!!

Lila (in Susan's body): [Running] AAAAHHH! GET AWAY, EUGENE, I'M NOT INTO YOU!!!

Bling Bling Boy: But I love you, Susan Test, who clearly has a cold!

Hugh: Well, Your mom's getting ahead of Eugene pretty good. I wonder how Susan's baking's going? [Everyone but Dukey put on their glasses]

Susan (in Lila's body): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

[Explosion occurs and burned cupcakes fall on the lawn]

Johnny: Ha! It really is like the 4th of July!

Join the Johnny Scouts/Johnny B.C.

(The episode starts with Hugh reading a newspaper. Johnny & Dukey walk in)

Johnny: I need a new bike.

Hugh: What happened to your old bike?

(Johnny looks puzzled. Flashback begins with Johnny & Dukey testing their bikes with test dummies of themselves)

Johnny: First, we test to jump with these look-like dummies, then calculate the speed and trajectory will need to make the jump for real!

Dukey: It's genius!

(Johnny & Dukey push their bikes down the hill. The test dummies go really fast, They go over a ramp, and land right in the garbage truck. The garbage truck drives away as Johnny & Dukey looked shocked. Flashback ends)

Johnny: Uh... it got stolen?

Hugh: Hm?

Johnny: (Dramatic) Why, dad, why did it have to get stolen?

Hugh: I'll get you a new bike for your birthday. (Johnny looks overjoyed) Which is seven months away.

Johnny: (Angrily flails his arms) YOU DON'T LOVE ME!!

Hugh: I do love you, son, and I will always love and accept you for who you are your entire life.

Johnny: I don't know what that means.

Hugh: It means you're not getting a new bike until your birthday.

Johnny: DARN IT!!

(Suddenly, the door bell rings, Hugh opens the door and reveals Sissy Blakely, Johnny's romantic rival, who is selling ladybird scout cookies)

Sissy: Hi, Mr. Test, would you like to buy some ladybird scout cookies?

Hugh: No, because I'm... I believe the lady bird scouts have lost their way and have become nothing but a door to door cookie company using free labor, and although I like you sissy, I can no longer buy these cookies. (Walks away)

Sissy: Your dad is weird.

Johnny: Yeah, I know. (Johnny & Sissy look at each other) You look dumb.

Sissy: Do you want to buy some cookies, Test?

Johnny: Oh wow, ladybird scout cookies, they look so good and... No. (Dukey hits Johnny) Ow!

(Dukey gives Johnny some money)

Johnny: I mean, give me a box of Wow! Wow! Chocolate Chunkies. (Dukey hits Johnny then shakes his head "no") Ow, Coconut Dribblers?

(Dukey shakes his head "no" again)

Dukey: Hm!

Johnny: Lemon Buckwalt? (Dukey groans while shaking his head "no" yet again. Johnny takes the blue box of cookies) Butter Scotch Blah Blas?

(Dukey shakes his head "yes". Johnny pays for the cookies)

Sissy: Yes! Only 999 boxes to go.

Johnny: To go for what?

Sissy: When you sell lady bird scout cookies, (Sissy opens a blue folder attached on her clipboard and it reveals prizes depending on the boxes of cookies sold) you can win prizes like backpacks, pen sets, and if you sell a thousand boxes, you get new bike.

(Johnny & Dukey shriek in excitement. The duo head to Susan & Mary's laboratory.)

Mary: Stop!

(Camera zooms out to reveal a gigantic T-Rex named Wentworth)

Susan: Sit. (Wentworth sits down) Good boy. (Gives Wentworth steak. Wentworth eats the steak) What do you want this time, little brother? A lerinx transplant so you can sing like a rockstar?

Mary: Or a DNA adjustment that will make your tongue taste like bubble gum?

Johnny: No, we need your old ladybird scout uniforms.

(Susan & Mary look at each other)

Susan: That's a new one.

(Cuts to outside of Johnny's house. Johnny & Dukey are wearing Susan & Mary's old ladybird scout uniforms)

Johnny: Now all we have to do is sell 1,000 boxes of this crud, and zoom, we're in brand new bike city!

Dukey: And here comes our first customer.

Dark Johnny/No Homework for Johnny

Narrator: In an earlier experiment on Johnny Test, Johnny and Dukey were rocketed into space to find life.

Once there, they landed on Vegandon and met Dark Vegan, the leader of a clan who ate only vegetables. But soon, Johnny discovered Vegandon's secret, that they live in paradise because they suck all the resources of other planets, eventually destroying them. So with the Earth under attack, Johnny, with the help of Dark Vegan's redonious daughter, Jillian, Stopped the invasion and restored all the water and trees to Earth. And now, without an army or a ship, Dark Vegan is stranded on Earth and totally hates Johnny.

Dark Vegan: I WILL DESTROY YOU!!

Narrator: Jillian still likes Johnny, though.

Johnny Test: It's called Rock n' Roll. It's better when it's loud, but that's when parents start to hate it.

Jillian: Let's try it.

[Jillian turns up the volume on the ipod radio. Johnny and Dukey dance to the beat. Jillian looks at the audience, shrugs, then decides to join in with Johnny and Dukey. Dark Vegan comes into the living room.]

Dark Vegan: Turn that pulsating noise down!

Jillian: [While dancing] It's called Rock 'n' Roll. We never had it on Vegandon. I like it.

Dark Vegan: Well, I despise it! [Pulls out his lightsaber and destroys the radio] And I despise you, Johnny Test, and I will destroy you, and- Oh no! I'm late for work. Darn it!

[Runs to his car and goes to work]

Johnny Test: So how's your dad doing with the, you know, adjustment?

Jillian: He's having a really hard time keeping an Earth job.

[Cuts to a restaurant. Text shows: Job #3: Dark Waiter.]

Male Customer: Can we get some more water?

[Dark Vegan Pulls out his lightsaber.]

Dark Vegan: No!

[Cuts to the Vallet Parking. Text shows: Job #17: Dark Vallet. A red car skids to a stop.]

Cool Guy: Hey, park this for me, will you, pal?

[Throws the car keys at Dark Vegan's face. Dark Vegan crushes the car keys and lifts the red car with the force and places it with the other destroyed cars. The cool guy is shocked at what he saw. Dark Vegan puts a ticket in the cool guy's suit/shirt. Cut to the Dount Shop. Text shows; Job #32: Dark Dount.]

Female Costumer: This is not the correct change.

[Dark Vegan presses the $ button several times while groaning in anger. Dark Vegan lifts the lady using the force, causing her to drop the coins in the process.]

Dark Vegan: I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOUR EARTH MONEY!!! Just be happy I'll let you live.

[Everyone runs out of the Donut Shop, screaming. The manager looks at Dark Vegan, unhappily]

Dark Vegan: I'm fired, right?

[Cuts to Dark Vegan's house. Johnny, Dukey and Jillian are watching T.V.]

Dark Vegan: [Points at Johnny] YOU!! YOU did this to me! I was the ruler of my planet, and now I'm an UNEMPLOYABLE LOSER!!!

Dark Vegan's Wife: Honey, you have to try this new earthly recipe. It's called toast. [Shoves a slice of toast in Dark Vegan's mouth.] Oh, and I went to an amusement park today. And you know what? I was really amused.

Johnny Test: I told you Earth was cool.

Dark Vegan: Earth is SO NOT COOL!! You destroyed my life, Johnny Test. [Eats toast] And I promise, I will destroy you.

[Cuts to Johnny's room. Johnny and Dukey are sleeping. Dark Vegan tries to sabotage their beauty sleep, but Dukey bites Dark Vegan's leg. Dark Vegan then makes a hole on the wall with his lightsaber and falls.]

Dark Vegan: I WILL BE BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCKKKKKK!!

[Dukey yawns and goes back to sleep. The next day, Johnny and Dukey are skateboarding in the streets. Dark Vegan tries to sabotage their fun by lifting the sewage lid using the force, but a car hits him. Johnny and Dukey skateboard by. Cut to Dukey impersonating animals. First, a penguin.]

Johnny Test: A penguin. [Dukey growls like a lion.] A lion. [Dukey impersonates a vulture.] A vulture. [Gets lifted by the force]

Huh?

Dark Vegan: I'm through playing games, Johnny Test! [Dukey impersonates a goat and pushes Dark Vegan off a cliff.] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Johnny Test: A Billy goat.

Dukey: Shhh-bingo!

[THUD!]

[Cuts to Johnny's house. Johnny, Dukey and Jillian are playing video games.]

Jillian: Sorry about my dad, Johnny. He really hasn't been himself since you defeated him, and he can't get us home to Vegandon.

Johnny Test: Don't sweat it.

[Dark Vegan opens the door.]

Dark Vegan: I give up. You are too mighty an opponent, Johnny Test. I just miss being an evil ruler on my whole planet so much, and I just... [Cries]

Johnny Test: Oh man, he's crying.

[Cuts to the kitchen. Dark Vegan takes a slice of toast.]

Dark Vegan: Well, I guess I'm just homesick, and it's really hard adapting to a new planet and- [Eats toast] What is this called again?

Dukey: Um, toast?

Dark Vegan: It's good. Really good.

Johnny Test: Okay, well, Dukey and I talked about it and decided, we want to help you out.

Dark Vegan: Yes, of course. We will join forces, Johnny, and with our powers united, we will rule the galaxy!

Jillian: No, dad. That's not it.

[Dark Vegan puts Johnny down.]

Johnny Test: We'll help you get home, but, you got to promise not to come back to Earth and try to destroy it.

Jillian: Or destroy any other planets in the Galaxy.

Dark Vegan: What?! Forget it!

Jillian: Fine. Here are the want ads. [Throws a newspaper at Dark Vegan's face.]

[Dark Vegan walks away. Dark Vegan takes two more slices of toast. Cuts to the Used Cars Shop.]

Dark Vegan: This is a great deal, huh?

Customer: I don't know. I was kinda thinking about getting something smaller.

Dark Vegan: You want smaller? Fine. How's this!? [Slices the car with his lightsaber.]

Customer: AAAAAAHHH!!! THIS GUY IS NUTS!!! [Runs away]

[The manager looks at Dark Vegan, unhappily]

Dark Vegan: I'm fired, right?

[The manager points to the right, telling him to go away. Dark Vegan, depressed, walks away. Cuts to Johnny's house. Johnny, Dukey and Jillian are playing video games again.]

Dark Vegan: Okay. I'll stop destroying planets if you help me get back to Vegandon.

Johnny Test: Deal. [Shakes Dark Vegan's hand.]

Dark Vegan: And, uh, do you have any more of those warm crispy slices of carbohydrates?

Dukey: You mean toast?

Dark Vegan: Toast! Yes! I like toast.

[Cut to Susan & Mary's laboratory. Susan & Mary are having a tea party with tea and triangle sandwiches.]

Susan Test: No, you can't borrow the spaceship. One, because you'll just destroy it.

Mary Test: And two, we're working on a new invention that will surely get [Lovely] Gil next door, over for tea.

Johnny Test: Well, what's the invention?

Susan Test: We haven't thought of one yet.

Johnny Test: Don't worry. They always say no at first.

Dukey: Then we wear them down and they do whatever we want. [Chuckles]

Dark Vegan: Do you choke them?

Johnny Test: No, I schmooze them. [To Susan & Mary] Wow, this looks really nice. I love you guys so much.

Susan Test: Forget it, Johnny.

Johnny Test: Actually...

Dark Vegan: [Shoves Johnny out of the way and uses the force on Susan & Mary] Enough schmoozing!

Jillian: Daddy, STOP!!

Dark Vegan: Now, give me the keys to the spaceship or I will destroy you!

[Mary pulls the lever that sends Johnny, Dukey, and Dark Vegan to the pool.]

Johnny Test: I wasn't done schmoozing!

[Cuts to the kitchen.]

Johnny Test: The only way we're going to get you home is with the girl's ship.

Jillian: I will not go up against your sisters. They scare me. [Walks away]

Dark Vegan: Uh, wha-what is this?

Dukey: It's jelly. It makes toast even tastier.

Dark Vegan: That's not possible. [Eats toast] It is, Dukey! [Eats toast again] Oh, I have never enjoyed such a confection.

Johnny Test: Blah, blah, blah. Enough with the toast! Now, we're going to need to sneak into the lab and steal the spaceship. It's not going to be easy, but it's our only hope.

Dukey: Right, but we'll need a plan, a really good plan.

[Cut to Susan & Mary's laboratory. Susan presses the button that opens the door]

Johnny Test: [Short pause] RUN FOR IT!!

[Johnny, Dukey, and Dark Vegan run for the spaceship, but when they get close, Mary pushes down the lever that sends them back to the pool.]

Jillian: I told you not to go up against your sisters.

[Johnny spits the water. Cut to Susan & Mary's laboratory. Susan presses the the button that opens the door. Johnny, Dukey, and Dark Vegan are dressed as inspectors.]

Dark Vegan: We're here from the Environmental Protection Agency. And we understand you have a spaceship we need to inspect?

Susan Test: Sure. It's right over there.

[Johnny, Dukey, and Dark Vegan walk to spaceship to inspect it while giving themselves a big thumbs up, but Mary pushes down the lever that sends them back to the pool, losing their costumes in the process. Jillian drinks her juice. Cut to Susan & Mary's laboratory. Susan presses the button that opens the door. A grappling hook is deployed. Johnny, Dukey, and Dark Vegan try to get to the spaceship, but fail.]

Dark Vegan: I was never really good at that.

Johnny Test: You're telling us this now!?

[Mary pushes down the lever that sends in a shuriken that cuts the rope and Johnny, Dukey, and Dark Vegan go back to the pool once again. Water translates back to the kitchen. Johnny, Dukey, and Dark Vegan are very wet.]

Johnny Test: I'm out of ideas.

Dark Vegan: And worse, we're out of toast. GET ME SOME MORE!!!!

Dukey: [Annoyed Growl] We're out of bread.

Dark Vegan: What's bread?

Johnny Test: Bread is what goes in the toaster that cooks the bread to make toast.

Dark Vegan: [Grabs the toaster] Fascinating! And, how do you get more of this bread?

Johnny Test: Um, my dad buys it.

Hugh: [Grabs the toaster] Yes. And I'm not getting any more, because you guys have already gone through three loaves. [Puts down the toaster, then gets mind-controlled.]

Dark Vegan: I will get you some more bread.

Hugh [Mind-controlled]: I'll get you some more bread.

Dark Vegan: I will go to the store right now.

Hugh [Mind-controlled]: I'll go to the store right now. [Goes to the store to buy more bread.]

Johnny Test: How did you do that?

Dark Vegan: That's an old vegan mind trick.

Dukey: Why didn't you use it on Johnny's sisters?

Dark Vegan: It only works on dumb people.

Johnny Test: Oh, I know how to get that ship.

[Cut to Susan & Mary's laboratory. Susan & Mary are thinking of how to get Gil over for a tea party.]

Susan Test: What about just tying Gil up, and dragging him here?

Mary Test: It's good, but if we let him go, we could get arrested.

Susan Test: Right.

[The alarm door blares for the last time. Susan get up angry.]

Susan Test: OK! I am done messing around with Johnny and Dork Vegan!

Mary Test: You get the door, I'll get the lever. [Goes for the lever.]

Susan Test: YOU'RE NEVER GETTING THE SHIP, JOHNNY AND- [The door reveals Gil, who is mind-controlled.] Gillllll Next Door...

Dark Vegan: Why, I'd love to have tea with you, Susan and Mary.

Gil [Mind-controlled]: Why, I'd love to have tea with you, Susan and Mary.

Dark Vegan: Hold my hands, and let us dine on tea, and Goofy Triangle Sandwiches.

Gil [Mind-controlled]: Hold my hands, and let us dine on tea, and Goofy Triangle Sandwiches.

Susan & Mary: Ohhhhhhhh, Gillllllllll... [Gil tries to drink the tea, but due to him being mind-controlled, he lets the tea fall on the floor.] Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

Johnny: Hey, we need the keys to the...

[Susan, not even looking at Johnny, gives Johnny the keys to the spaceship.]

Dark Vegan: [Victorious] Yes! We're going home!

[Cuts to Vegandon.]

Dark Vegan: Dear, Vegandons, I have returned once again to be your leader.

[Everyone Cheers]

Dark Vegan's Wife: But, I liked it on Earth.

Jillian: I already miss Johnny, and rock music, and video games and...

Dark Vegan: SILENCE!! Now, let us celebrate with an amazing Vegandon feast!

[Everyone Cheers again. Confetti translates to the Vegandon diner. The waitress serves something that was not toast.]

Dark Vegan: Uh, where's the toast? I want toast!

Vegandon Waitress: There's no toast on Vegandon, sir.

Dark Vegan: What? Why not?

Vegandon Chef: Uh. The crunchy, Earth delicacy you described, it cannot be created because Vegandon lacks uh, bread.

Vegandon Waitress: And, we haven't invented the toaster.

Dark Vegan: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

[Cuts outside of Johnny's House. Johnny and Dukey are skateboarding in the streets again. The spaceship lands on the front of Dark Vegan's House.]

Dukey: Oh no.

Dark Vegan: We're back!

Johnny Test: WHAT!? We worked our butts off to get you guys back to your planet!

Jillian: Yeah, but there's no toast there.

Dukey: You came back for toast?

Dark Vegan: YES!! [Goes to the house to get his toast.] With jelly! [Eats toast]

Jillian: Personally, I'm glad we're back.

Dark Vegan: And now that I'm staying my earlier vimit as void. And I promise, TO DESTROY EARTH, AND YOU, JOHNNY TEST!!!

Jillian: You might wanna run, Johnny.

Johnny Test: Way ahead of you.

[Johnny and Dukey skateboard away from Dark Vegan, screaming.]

Dark Vegan: Toast! Toast! I like toast.

Princess Johnny/99 Deeds of Johnny Test

Principal: Johnny, here's what I'm thinking...

Johnny: Please, don't give me a detention! My Dad'll send me to military school! That means uniforms! Atomic wedgies!... Awkward pauses!

Principal: I like you, Johnny.

Johnny: So I'm free to go?

Principal: No. But I'm gonna cut you a deal. If you perform 99 good deeds to make up for your 99 bad deeds, I'll forget every one of your detentions and erase them from your permanent record.

Johnny: Couldn't I just write something on the chalkboard a zillion time like 'I promise not to blabeddy, blah, blah, blah.' Huh? (smiles hopefully, but the principal shakes his head.) 99 good deeds it is!

Principal: And no cheating. Remember, I'm the principal. I know everything!

[Johnny tries to help an old lady cross the road. He takes her arm.]

Johnny: Hello, Ma'am. May I assist you?

Old Lady: Oh, I get it. I'm an old lady. Well, I'm also independent, lonely, but independent. BACK OFF!

Johnny: Yeah? You forgot CRAZY!

Johnny: WHAT D'YOU MEAN NONE OF MY GOOD DEEDS COUNT?!!

Principal: Solving a problem that you create is NOT a good deed. Returning the wallet was a good deed, but your dog swiped it. And giving someone their I.B. bag back is nice, but your dog shouldn't have taken it in the first place.

Johnny: Um... how did you know it was my dog?

Principal: I know everything. Plus, I have access to the city's traffic surveillance system.

Johnny: Wow. I look so guilty on camera.

Guess Who's Coming to Johnny's for Dinner/Johnny's New BFF

Lila: I'm calling Wendell, Tyler, Sissy and Bumper's moms again! You need a best friend, mister!

Johnny: I have a best friend, ok! A best friend who plays catch with me outside, skateboards with me and eats my table scraps. Dukey.

Hugh: Dukey is a great dog, son. But... you need to talk to someone other than yourself.

Johnny: (to Dukey) Say 'hi'. Go on, say it. Say it before they destroy me with friends!

Lila: Johnny, dogs don't talk.

[Johnny gives a gesture for Dukey to speak.]

Dukey: [Standing on his hind legs] I talk. (Mom and Dad gasp) Yeah, I'm like a really great dog. (Laughs, and Mom and Dad faint.)

Susan: Eh, they'll be fine in about 2 hours.

Hugh: Uh, is there anything you like to say, Dukey?

Dukey: Well, I've been dying to say that if you really want to increase sales you need to establish better relationships with your clients.

Lila: That makes sense.

Dukey: And Dad, your meatloaf is overcooked. Lower the temperature to 415, cook with foil on top for the last ten minutes and it's missing cumin and barbecue sauce.

Hugh: He's right. By golly, he's right! Let's cook a meatloaf right now, boy!

Lila: Dukey, wait! I want more business tips.

Johnny: Ok, I think this is going well.

[Johnny gathers the friends Mom and Dad tried to get him to play earlier with to help him.]

Bumper: Why am I helping you? I should be beating you up!

Johnny: Because I need someone who can scare people. And Bumper, you are amazing at scaring people!

Bumper: You... you think I'm amazing? (tearfully) Nobody's ever said that to me. (Hugging him) I am so there for you, buddy!

Sissy: What do we do now, Test?

Johnny: Well... what do friends do?

Bumper: Er... I think they play Tag.

Johnny: Play Tag.

Johnny vs. Bling Bling IV/Johnny's Big Sisters' Smackdown

[After Susan and Mary are too scared to ask Gil out on a date.]

Johnny: You guys are pathetic!

Dukey: No, totally pathetic!

Susan: We know.

Johnny: You know, the only thing missing is my dad telling me that I have to have them back to normal by dinner or I'm in big trouble and- he's standing right behind me, isn't he?

(Dukey nods nervously and Johnny turns around.)

Johnny: I'd like to start this conversation with; I didn't do it.

Dad: I don't know what "it" is, Johnny, but you better have Susan and Mary home and normal by dinner or you're in big trouble, BIG!

King Johnny/Johnny Re-Animated

[When explaining to Johnny about the King's Madness.]

Susan: People go looney when they get power.

Mary: It happened to George III, Henry VIII and Napoleon. And he was short and crazy just like you.

Susan: You'll get the power, enjoy it way too much and try and take over Europe. So forget it!

Johnny: Europe? I'm not gonna take over Europe today.

Susan: I knew I was gonna regret this.

Johnny: And now my chess army... LET'S TAKE OVER EUROPE!

Johnny: Way to go, my army! We have captured Spain, and their flan!

Dukey: Freeze, King Johnny! Your reign and this game are over!

Johnny: I say when the game is over and PAWNS ATTACK!

[When Agents Black and White try and storm the Toy Castle Johnny has taken over.]

Black: Attention, crazy person!

White: Come out with your royal hands up or massive force will be... used... on... you...

(They notice Susan, Mary and Dukey.)

Black: Oh, for the love of... is that Johnny in there?

Susan, Mary & Dukey: Yep.

White: Why can't you guys be like normal kids and play board games?

Dukey: That's kind of what we're doing. (Laughs.)

Johnny: You think you can stop me?! The king with your blasters?!

Dukey: Actually we're gonna use the turbo soaker. Check and mate!

[Shoots cold water at Johnny. He splutters and shakes his head.]

Johnny: Who? What? Where? What happened?

Dukey: You went crazy with the King Madness and took over the Toy Castle.

Johnny: Did we have fun?

Susan & Mary: We had a blast!

[When cartoon characters Dawg and Bone enter the real world.]

Johnny: OW! You hit us with frying pans!

Dawg: Since when does that hurt? [He and Bone hit each other with frying pans and their faces are completely flat. They shake their heads and they return to normal.] That is always funizle!

Dukey: Oh, no. They're from a squash and stretch cartoon!

Johnny: And that means?

Dukey: They can't get hurt in our world, but we can!

[When Dawg and Bone are about to be blown up with dynamite.]

Dawg: This is a new one.

[Johnny and Dukey hit Dawg and Bone with frying pans to which onlookers laugh.]

Woman: Hey, that was kinda funny!

[Dawg and Bone shake their heads to return normal and then pull out large laser guns.]

Woman: Not funny anymore! Run!

[When Johnny, Dukey, Susan and Mary enter the cartoon world.]

Dukey: And you still don't see anything familiar about this cartoon?

Johnny: Nope. Ok, Dawg. Do it!

Dawg: You got it, Johnny.

[He and Bone hit Johnny and Dukey with frying pans and their faces are completely flat.]

Johnny & Dukey: Awesome!

Good Ol' Johnny Test/Johnny X Strikes Back Again!

[When Johnny and Dukey are mutated back into Johnny X and Super Pooch. Dukey opens his mouth furiously.]

Johnny: If you don't have anything nice or encouraging to say, then don't say anything.

[Dukey covers his mouth resignedly.]

Johnny: Good boy. Now, to Pork Belly!

Johnny: What do these mutant dorks look like anyway?

[An explosion blasts away part of Johnny's room, revealing two mutant agent robots.]

General: They look like that. Oh, and the capes were their idea, not mine.

Johnny: Knock, knock?

Super Mutant: Who's there?

Johnny: Super Duper Power Poots!

Super Mutant: Oh, crud!

Johnny: Ok, everyone say "Power Poots!"

Everyone: POWER POOTS!!!

Season 5

Fangs a Lot Johnny/Johnny Testosterone

Choir Master: So Johnny Test thinks he can blow off choir class again?

Johnny: I'm right here!

Choir Master: Oh, right. I forgot, you haven't grown like the others. Ok, sing a sad note, everyone.

[When deciding how to give Johnny the formulae that will make him taller.]

Johnny: You know needles freak me out!

Mary: We could give you a suppository.

Johnny: What's that? [Mary whispers something in Johnny's ear.] Are you nuts?!

Johnny: (After receiving a suppository) Man, I hate getting medicine like that!

Dukey: Hey, let's all laugh now like they do at the end of old sitcoms.

Susan & Mary: Ok!

[Johnny, Dukey, Susan & Mary all laugh.]

Johnny Two Face/Johnny Susan, Susan Johnny

[After Truth Johnny insults a girl.]

Johnny: Why'd you say that to her?

Truth Johnny: Because it's the truth, that's why.

Johnny: Yeah, but it hurt her feelings.

Truth Johnny: So what should I do? Lie like you always do?

Johnny: No, but if you don't have anything nice to say maybe you shouldn't say anything at all, even if it's the truth. How about that?!

Truth Johnny: Blah, blah, blah! Not my fault if people can't handle the truth. They'll just have to get over it.

Johnny: Ok, that's it! You're going down!

Truth Johnny: No, the truth is you're going down.

Johnny: I will stop the truth from hurting peoples' feelings!

Truth Johnny: The truth hurts! Get over it!

Truth Johnny: You're all ugly!

Susan: Ok, I am hating the truth today!

My Dinner with Johnny/Johnny Alternative

Hugh: Why is using your manners at the dinner table so difficult for you?

Johnny: Because dinner is so boring.

Hugh: How would you know? You never sit still long enough. 1 night. Is that too much to ask. Ha! I bet you couldn't even do it for 1 night.

Johnny: I totally could.

Lila: Yeah, I don't think so, sweetheart.

Hugh: You think you can just sit there and not spill, burp, mini vomit, make a gross comment or destroy anything at tomorrow's dinner? And eat whatever's put in front of you?

Johnny: Piece of cake. And if I do it and win the bet you have to do my homework for a week and buy me ten new video games.

Hugh: And when I win you clean your room for a year and yell from the rooftop for everyone to hear that you love my meatloaf.

Johnny & Hugh: Deal!

Johnny: I need your help to win the bet.

Susan: And what do we get out of it?

Dukey: Can't you just help him because you're brother and sister?

Susan: No.

Lila: I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS INSANITY!!

Johnny & Hugh: He started it!

Lila: I don't want to hear it. You're both responsible. Johnny, would it be too much to keep your elbows off the table, excuse yourself after burping and ask for things instead of reaching for them?

Johnny: (awkwardly) No.

Lila: And dear, we're not sitting with the Queen of England can you not be such a stickler about manners? Lighten up a little. And maybe choose ingredients for your Around the World Meatloafs that this family would actually enjoy eating?

Hugh: (awkwardly) Yes.

Season 6

Johnny Vets Dukey/Johnny's #1 Fan

Dukey: What's behind your back?

Johnny: Nothing!

Dukey: Where're we going in the car?

Johnny: To the Squeaky... Toy... Hotdog... Roller-Coaster Store.

Dukey: That doesn't sound like a real thing. What's behind your back?! [Reaches behind Johnny.] A leash! Wait a minute... Dad in car, boy hiding leash, the smell of deceit lingering in the air... (gasps) you're trying to take me to the vet!!

Johnny: It's just a checkup. Don't be a scaredey cat.

Dukey: Watch it, mister! I'm a scaredey dog! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go run in fear.

Johnny: Dukey, nobody likes going to the doctor, but it's something we all have to do. Like homework or holding in gas at the dinner table.

Johnny: I need your keys.

Dad: Huh?

Johnny: He locked the front door.

Dad: How does a dog...

Johnny: HE'S AN IMPRESSIVE DOG, OK?!

Dukey: Really?! You're gonna laser me to the vet?!

Johnny: It's for your own good!

Dukey: This is how you convince me to not be scared?!

Johnny: Will you just hold still so I can laser you!?

Dukey: You'll never take me alive!

Johnny: You might have heart worms!

Dukey: I might not!

Johnny: You might have fleas!

Dukey: I haven't scratched in weeks!

Johnny: That's a lie and you know it!

How to Train Your Johnny/Johnny and Clyde

Johnny: (singing) # With a swish, swish here and a scrub, scrub there. It's time to clean up everywhere. So say goodbye to filth and grime, I'll clean this mess in double time. (Whistles) Well, it used to be a chore, but it isn't anymore when you've got the secret to a super clean floor. Now the dirt's all gone and it didn't take long when you sing along to the clean up song. (Whistles) When you sing along to the clean up song! #

Dad: Great job, son. And now that the house is clean I'm gonna prepare a cleaning day feast.

Dukey: Well, say all you like, but you gotta admit the song was catchy.

Johnny: And now it's stuck, stuck, stuck in my head, head, head! ARGH!

Dukey: Ok! Calm down, down, down! It'll wear off.

Johnny: (singing) # And it's my dog I grab and I take him to the lab!#

[A Garbage Truck Appears Outside the Window]

Johnny: Kitty!

Dukey: No Johnny, That's not a Neighbor's Cat, That's a Garbage Truck. Johnny, Kitties are Fluffy, And Evil, And... [Dukey looked Shocked] Where's Johnny? Johnny?

[Johnny rides on the Garbage Truck]

Johnny: Kitty! Kitty!

Dukey: You had to Erase his Brain.

Susan: We were Trying to HELP!! Now Run, Dog, RUN!!!

[Susan and Dukey Runs After the Garbage Truck]

Johnny's Supreme Theme/Past and Present Johnny

Susan: The Theme-O'meter utilizes harmonic sequencing combined with brainwave alteration to evoke various cinematic atmospheres.

Johnny: Can I get a science to English translation?

Mary: It's melodic frequencies adjust brain perception to create various filmic styles within reality.

Johnny: Can I get an English to Johnny translation?

Susan: It makes real life just like a movie.

[When Sissy and Bling-Bling get turned into werewolves.]

Johnny: Well, Dukey, guess it's time for our last words.

Dukey: Does horrified screaming count?!

Johnny: I'm gonna go with yes.

Johnny: Ok, so we need an ending. How do Horror movies end?

Susan & Mary: Everybody dies!

Johnny: Romantic Musical?

Susan & Mary: Kissing!

Johnny: I've had a good life. Let's stick with Horror.

Dukey: (singing) #Johnny, what's going on? We're grooving to a crazy song! How long is it gonna last? I hope this movie theme moves fast! #

Johnny: (singing) #We need a kiss to break this trance. Susan, won't you take this chance. Kiss Gil! #

Susan: Kiss Gil?! (singing) #No, I don't think I will. I'd sooner might choose death. Argh! Coz Gil's got werewolf breath!#

Johnny: Well, there's gotta be a kiss soon. Coz I can't take much more of this corny musical... (singing) #Listen, Bling-Bling, here's my plan; kiss my sister be a man! #

[Bling-Bling kisses Susan and she soon pulls away from him and spits in disgust.]

Johnny: Should've gone with the werewolf breath.

Johnny's Head in the Clouds/Stop in the Name of Johnny

[Johnny witnesses the Speedster run through the crowded hallway.]

Johnny: Whoa! That kid should deliver pizzas.

Dukey: (To Johnny, laughing) You?! The hall monitor? Oh, the irony! That's like putting me in charge of the meat fridge! That's a good idea.

Bumper: Why should I help you, Test?

Johnny: Because if you don't, I'm taking you down.

Bumper: Down where?

Johnny: The Big House, the Clink, the Slammer, the Pokey.

Bumper: The Hokey Pokey?

Dukey: No. He means detention.

Dial J for Johnny/Road Trip Johnny

Johnny: You? Funny? Prank?

Dad: Yeah, prank phone calling was the best thing ever. Until I pranked the wrong guy. He really didn't find it funny!

Johnny: You hear that, Dukey. Prank calling is the best thing ever. Let's do it! Thanks for the advice, Dad.

Dad: So I skipped town, got plastic surgery and changed my name to Dad.

[Bling-Bling's phone rings.]

Bling-Bling: A call from the Test house! This is it! Susan is finally calling to ask me out. Why, hello?

Johnny: Hello, (laughs) is your refrigerator running?

Bling-Bling: Well, I exp... wait, Johnny Test! Nice try! But I have caller I.D!

[Johnny telephones Thomas Edison.]

Edison: Hello?

Johnny: Is Mr or Mrs. Wall there?

Edison: No, there are no Walls here.

Johnny: (laughs) Then what holds up the ceiling?

[Dukey telephones Leonardo da Vinci.]

Da Vinci: Da Vinci residence. Leonardo speaking.

Dukey: Hello, I'm looking for a Mr. O'Brains, first name Ivan.

Da Vinci: Ivan O'Brains?

Dukey: (laughs) You have no brains?!

Da Vinci: What? No! I didn't mean that!

Dukey: You're the one who said it, dude!

[Johnny telephones Alexander Graham Bell.]

Bell: Hello?

Johnny: Hi, er, do you have a blue shirt?

Bell: A blue shirt? Why yes I do.

Johnny: Ah, then why don't you cheer it up?

Code Crackin' Johnny/Johnny Goes Viral

Dukey: Johnny, lately you seem to know an awful lot about... everything.

Johnny: What's so weird about knowing that King Charles made Blasco Núñez Vela the first viceroy of Peru in 1544?

Dukey: Uh-huh. Er... what's a viceroy?

Johnny: I don't know. Wait! I do know!

Mary: Just because you think someone performed highly experimental cutting edge augmentation on your brain you instantly blame us?

Johnny: Er... yeah.

Johnny: (speaking in a female computer voice) Virus detected. Auto-restart.

Dukey: I'll save you!

[Dukey pulls a hospital-type curtain behind Johnny's head. Drilling noises are heard before Dukey reappears holding the computer chip that was attached to Johnny's head.]

Johnny: That kinda tickled.

The Last Flight of Johnny X/Johnny's Last Chapter

Johnny: [last lines] You're wrong Mr. Teacherman, this is Porkbelly. Where we make our own history.

[the rocketship leaves Porkbelly and files off to space as the series ends]

Cast

Johnny Test (voiced by James Arnold Taylor)
Dukey (voiced by Louis Chirillo in Seasons 1-4, Trevor Devall in Seasons 5-6)
Susan Test (voiced by Maryke Hendrikse)
Mary Test (voiced by Brittney Wilson in Seasons 1 and 5, Ashleigh Ball in Seasons 2-4 and 6)

External links

Wikipedia

Wikipedia has an article about:

Johnny Test