I-War (Independence War)

1998 video game

I-War, or Independence War, is a computer game developed by Particle Systems Ltd. This space simulation game was first released in 1997. Some of the spaceship names were inspired by the Culture novels of Iain M. Banks.


Jefferson Clay: Would you dig up my grave?
The player: I beg your pardon?
Jefferson Clay: I said, "Would you dig up my grave?"
The player: No, of course not.
Jefferson Clay: So I gather you don’t approve of being disrespectful to the dead.
The player: No... Why?
Jefferson Clay: Because of this. Me. Being here now. Being here dead. That’s why. I was killed. I am dead. But would they let me rest in peace? Would they? Oh, no! They would not let me be. Some sonofabitch recovered the hulk of the Dreadnaught and pulled out this sorry digital facsimile of my mind. An unholy capture of my last thoughts taken without consent during my final glorious medal-winning battle. And then they drag me kicking and screaming back into service. I’ll tell you, this is one odd navy boy. You don’t get time off even for being dead.
The player: Listen - if it helps at all, I didn’t ask for some kind of digital command assistant.
Jefferson Clay: Digital Assistant! Digital Assistant! That’s me. Get your untrained crew out there into darkest space. And if they drift into a bit of trouble - wander off the edge of their limited simulator academy safe territory into trouble then the crew can drop their milk and cookies press a few buttons and the Captain-O-Matic pops out the answer. Well I don’t think so.
The player: So you're not going to help?
Jefferson Clay: Did I say that? No. Only I am gonna play it like a computer - Stupid dumb-ass questions in - stupid smart ass sarcastic remarks out. Now, if you ever manage to ask me a question which doesn’t insult my experience and intelligence, I daresay I’ll force a civil answer out of myself.
Jefferson Clay: I am ashamed. Are you so dumb? You needed cover and suddenly the sky opens and your prayers were answered, two point five million tons of flyin' metal cover, so you think 'Hmm, I know I'll sit here and wait to be discovered.' I cannot believe it. UNPLUG ME! UNPLUG ME NOW!
The Nairnama: Dreadnaught. We ... are the Nairnama. Our vessel is ... Torc-ubad. We ... are ... collectors.
[friendly reply]:
The player: Err...Torc-ubad, We are honoured to meet you. Let me offer a hand in friendship to your people.
The Nairnama:We ... are not people. We ... have already collected ... a hand.
[hostile reply]:
The Player: You are intruding in Commonwealth space - You should leave now or face the most severe consequences.
The Nairnama:We...do not collect space.
Jefferson Clay: You know this reminds me of a story when I was in Perisher School. This junior officer had taken a few hours extra leave so as a punishment he was ordered to run around the length of the perimeter fence carrying a live missile. Now the poor guy went and tripped and fell - but the funny thing was that he was passing the weapons storage shed at the same time. We never did find him.. Heck - I'm sure I had a point.

Sergei Markov: We have lost the Convoy! After McDuff gets through with you the only thing you'll be commanding is a mop in the officers' latrine!
Edison Hayes: Indefatigable, I am transmitting you the coordinates for Hell. Suggest you go there. Over.
Starlight Fury here. I always looked better in green!

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