Hum Tum

2004 film by Kunal Kohli

Hum Tum is a 2004 film about a widow who has a long story with another man. Hum Tum (translates as You and Me or literally as Me, You) is loosely based on When Harry Met Sally... following the encounters of the two main characters until they, after several years and various meetings, become friends and finally fall in love at the end of the movie.

Directed by Kunal Kohli.
Boys and Girls...You and I

Rhea Prakash

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Rhea Prakash: You know what, Karan? Whenever I'm around you something has to go wrong one way or the other.

Karan Kapoor

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Karan Kapoor: I hate that chick.

Dialogues

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Karan Kapoor: There're 6 hours before our flight to New York and sitting in this airport is boring. Why don't we go sight-seeing in Amsterdam. It shouldn't be a problem since you have a visa.
Rhea Prakash: How do you know I have a visa?
Karan Kapoor: I went through your bag in the plane.
Rhea Prakash: WHAT? You went through my bag?
Karan Kapoor: You were asleep and I was bored, I saw your bag and figured I'd take a look.
Rhea Prakash: How dare you? Don't you know that a lady's handbag is a personal thing?

[begins walking ahead]

Karan Kapoor: What now? Where are you going?
Rhea Prakash: I thought we were going sight-seeing in Amsterdam.

Rhea Prakash: Karan Kapoor?
Karan Kapoor: That's right.

[notices Rhea and stops in shock]

Karan Kapoor: Nooo Way! Rhea!

[walks over] Well done, yaar. You're looking like a girl!

Rhea Prakash: [swats his hand away] Don't touch me!

[an arc of flowers falls down beside them]

Rhea Prakash: You know what, Karan? Whenever I'm around you something HAS to go wrong.

[notices his shaggy haircut] and...'what' have you done to your hair??

Karan Kapoor: [whining] What, this is my Tom Cruise look yaar. You wouldn't understand, it's not a matter of your level. It's fashion!
Rhea Prakash: [shakes her head] You're a loser!
Karan Kapoor: Forget that, what are you doing here?
Rhea Prakash: What are YOU doing here??
Karan Kapoor: I'm in-charge here
Rhea Prakash: [looks around at the chaos] That much is obvious.
Karan Kapoor: [gives her a look] Actually, my mummy is in-charge here, I'm just helping her out.

[Rhea nods]

Karan Kapoor: So, what are you doing here?
Rhea Prakash: You're organizing a wedding with your mummy, and you don't even know who the bride is??

[points to herself]

Karan Kapoor: No way, you!

[Rhea nods proudly]

Karan Kapoor: You're getting married so late? I figured you already had three or four kids!

[Rhea looks at him in shock]

Karan Kapoor: Come on, do you have any? You can tell me.
Rhea Prakash: [disgusted] You're really a loser, Karan. I figured that one slap and three years later you would've come to your senses. I guess I was wrong. Some people 'never' change. My bags are in the car, have them taken up to my room.
Karan Kapoor: Do I look like a porter to you?
Rhea Prakash: Something like that! Bye, Karan.

[walks away]


Rhea Prakash: I never thought I'd use these words with you, but I think I'll miss you.
Karan Kapoor: We'll meet very soon, Rhea. Do you know why? Because this life is very long, even if we don't have enough time.

[Karan is trying to convince Rhea to have an arranged marriage by acting out an "interview" with a potential husband]

Karan Kapoor: Now, what about children?
Rhea Prakash: What about them?
Karan Kapoor: No, I'm not asking you. Don't you want to ask me if I like children?
Rhea Prakash: Oh yes, of course! So, do you like children?
Karan Kapoor: Very much! First, I want a girl, beautiful and intelligent, just like you. I'm going to be a very good daddy. If any boy like me comes in front of her, I'll tear his head off.
Rhea Prakash: [laughs] And you think if you do this, it will make you a good father?
Karan Kapoor: Listen, you're going to be such a good mother that it won't matter if I spoil the children a little.
Rhea Prakash: I see. So I do all the work and you do all the spoiling?
Karan Kapoor: Yes! See, if you look at it from my point of view, we're the perfect marriage. All we need to complete the family photo is a little dog.
Rhea Prakash: And we'll call the dog Tommie.
Karan Kapoor: That's a stupid name...OK, the dog's name will be Tommie, But on one condition - you do all the walking and feeding of Tommie.
Rhea Prakash: Done.
Karan Kapoor: All I'm going to do is sit at the table and feed him little bits off my plate, saying, "Here, Tommie, eat, eat."
Rhea Prakash: So after the wedding, what are you going to do besides spoil the kids and Tommie?
Karan Kapoor: What else is there to do? I'm just going to kick back and enjoy my life with the kids and Tommie.

[Rhea stares at him]

Karan Kapoor: Oh yes, and you.
Rhea Prakash: So I come after the kids and Tommie?
Karan Kapoor: No, Rhea, that was a mistake. I meant with you.
Rhea Prakash: So I come after the kids and Tommie?
Karan Kapoor: No. Rhea, that- I'm sorry.
Rhea Prakash: If you put my name after the kids and Tommie, I'll cut you up into little, little, little, little, little pieces and feed them to Tommie!
Karan Kapoor: OK, ma'am, OK, I'm sorry!

[takes her face in his hands]

Karan Kapoor: From now on, the kids and Tommie come second. The only person I'll love in this world is you.

[stare at each other, then quickly move away]

Karan Kapoor: [nervously laughing] See how easy arranged marriages are?

Karan Kapoor: [Walking away from Interview...starts to rain] Rain in January..?
Rhea Prakash: It doesn't rain in January!

[Karan turns around and sees Rhea standing there his book in her hand]

Rhea Prakash: This was bound to happen Karan...Because whenever we meet...
Karan Kapoor: Something or the other goes wrong.

Rhea Prakash: Say it.
Karan Kapoor: What?
Rhea Prakash: What you've never said to me before.
Karan Kapoor: That I love the kids and Tommy more than you?

[looks at the book]

Karan Kapoor: Did you read the book?
Rhea Prakash: [shakes head, mumbling no] uh uh
Karan Kapoor: [moves closer] How did you like it?
Rhea Prakash: [sighing] Reminded me a of a friend...Have i ever told you about this friend of mine?
Karan Kapoor: Never
Rhea Prakash: [moving closer still] I met him many years ago...
Karan Kapoor: And kept on meeting him...
Rhea Prakash: Until he became my best friend.
Karan Kapoor: So when he fell in love with you, why did you leave?
Rhea Prakash: Because he didn't stop me!
Karan Kapoor: [awkwardly] I don't like the sound of this friend one bit!
Rhea Prakash: Listen, don't say anything against my friend!
Karan Kapoor: [standing face to face] Then what should I say?
Rhea Prakash: What you have never managed to say before.
Karan Kapoor: What? That I'll love you more than the kids and Tommie?
Rhea Prakash: [grabs him by his shirt] You better! Otherwise I'll hack you up into little tiny pieces and--
Karan Kapoor: [puts his fingers on her lips] Shh!

[They both start crying and hug]

Karan Kapoor: [pulls away] I Love you, Rhea.

[both laugh/cry and hug again]

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