Horror Express

Horror Express is a 1973 British/Spanish horror film written by Arnaud d'Usseau and Julian Zimet. It was directed by Eugenio Martin.

Tagline: Can it be stopped?

Tagline: A nightmare of terror travelling aboard the Horror Express!

Tagline: Your Non Stop Ride to Hell Boards at 8 P.M.

Captain Kazan

He knows that a horse has four legs. He knows that a murderer has two arms. But still, the Devil must be afraid of one honest Cossack.

The following report to the Royal Geological Society by the undersigned, Alexander Saxton, is a true and faithful account of events that befell the Society's expedition in Manchuria. As the leader of the expedition, I must accept responsibility for its ending in disaster, but I leave to the judgement of the honorable members of the Society the decision as to where the blame for the catastrophe lies.

[Wells bribes a clerk to let him on the train]

Dr. Wells: [to Saxton] It's called "squeeze" in China. The Americans call it "know-how".

Professor Alexander Saxton: And in Britain, we call it bribery and corruption.

Dr. Wells: What are you going to astound the scientific world with this time?

Professor Alexander Saxton: You'll read about it in the Society's annual report. A remarkable fossil.

Dr. Wells: Fossil? But you've got something live in there, I heard it.

Professor Alexander Saxton: You're mistaken!

Dr. Wells: You won't need to feed it then.

Professor Alexander Saxton: The occupant hasn't eaten in two million years.

Dr. Wells: That's one way to economize on food bills.

Countess Irina: Oh, yes, England. Queen Victoria, crumpets, Shakespeare.

Professor Alexander Saxton: I admire Poland, madam. I believe there is a bond between our two countries.

Countess Irina: My husband, the Count Petrovski, says that in the fifteenth century your King Henry betrayed us to the Russians. Hmm?

Professor Alexander Saxton: I hope that you and your husband, madam, will accept my profoundest apologies.

Dr. Wells: Miss Jones, I shall need your assistance.

Miss Jones: [eying Wells' dinner companion, a beautiful woman] Yes, well at your age I'm not surprised.

Dr. Wells: With an autopsy!

Miss Jones: Oh, well that's different.

Inspector Mirov: The two of you together. That's fine. But what if one of you is the monster?

Dr. Wells: Monster? We're British, you know!

Captain Kazan: Now, anything, anything that moves near that door, kill it!

Dr. Wells: But what if the monk is innocent?

Captain Kazan: Ahhh, we got lots of innocent monks!