Hop (film)

Hop is a 2011 Easter-themed live-action-computer-animated comedy film in which E.B., the Easter Bunny's teenage son, heads to Hollywood, determined to become a drummer in a rock 'n' roll band. In LA, he's taken in by Fred after the out-of-work slacker hits E.B. with his car. The film stars James Marsden, Kaley Cuoco, Gary Cole, David Hasselhoff, and Russell Brand as the voice of the Easter Bunny.

Directed by Tim Hill. Written by Brian Lynch.

Big Game, Big Ears.taglines

Dialogue

E.B.: [after Fred talks to a Chinese Woman] Fred, what'd she say? Was that about me?

Fred O'Hare: [In Chinese; subtitled] She thinks Easter is cool. Talking rabbits freak her out.

E.B.: You speak Chinese? Just when I think I can't love you anymore.

David Hasselhoff: Stop, stop, stop, stop! [music stops] I don't wanna hear it anymore.

Fred: Oh, c'mon, Mr. Hoff, we've been waiting all day. Give the guy a chance.

David Hasselhoff: I gave him a chance. I didn't like it. [drumroll as the camera moves closer to him] I loved it!

E.B.: WOO-HOO! Yes!

David Hasselhoff: Hoff knows talent, and that rabbit's got talent! [laughs]

E.B.: [jumps down from the drum set] Thank you, David Hasselhoff! I will not let you down! This is a golden opportunity and one I intend to realize fully! [pause] Hey, wait. You're not surprised I'm a talking rabbit.

David Hasselhoff: Little man, my best friend's a talking car. [E.B. looks at Fred who shrugs] Can you make it to a live taping of the show Saturday night? I'll send a limo. [E.B. nods]

Fred: Alright, look, if it means that much to you, then I'll swing by.

Sam O'Hare: No, Fred. No, you don't swing by, okay? You shower, you shave, and you show up. The 3 "Shh"s! Come on, Fred, you've got to start your life. Think of this as a reboot.

Fred: Right.

Sam: It's time.

Fred: [pause] Y'know what, you're right. In a couple of months... [Sam squints] In a couple of weeks, you're gonna see a whole new Fred. Yeah. By Easter. Easter's in 2 weeks. By Easter, I'm gonna get a new, a new place, a new life.

Sam: Great!

Fred: [picks up his bag] Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go sleep in my car.

Voice at Playboy Mansion: [through an intercom] Listen to me, this is the Playboy Mansion, it's not a hotel.

E.B.: [looking into a map] Yeah, right, but it says here that ever since 1971, the Playboy Mansion has been home to sexy bunnies from around the world.

Voice at Playboy Mansion: Friend, I can't see you. Please step forward.

E.B.: [stepping closer, face still in the map] Now, I'm telling you that I am both a bunny and incredibly sexy.

Voice at Playboy Mansion: I don't have time for this. [clicks intercom off]

E.B.: Hello? Hello? Ugh, maybe this is the rags part of my rags-to-riches story.

Fred: [parks the car] Oh man, I'm really late.

E.B.: Late for what? What are we doing?

Fred: I have a job interview. You're staying here.

E.B.: But here's boring. Lemme come with you. I could be a job reference.

Fred: Thank you, I appreciate it. Look, I really need this job, and I don't think anyone in there is gonna be able to handle you. I'm not sure I can handle you. So just do me a favor, wait in the car. [gets out of the car]

E.B.: Fred, I don't wanna get your hopes up, but I think you're definitely gonna get this job.

Fred: Be good. [walks away]

E.B.: Yes, sir. I'll stay here and guard the vehicle.

Mrs. Beck: So, recent employment history... You haven't worked in a year?

Fred: Yeah, my parents have moved in with me. That has sort of been a full-time job.

Mrs. Beck: Mmm-hmm.

Fred: It’s fine. It just gets in the way of writing my novel, is all.

Mrs. Beck: You're writing a novel? What's that about?

Fred: It's, uh, it's about a crippled soldier, who in the future goes to another planet, and becomes one of the indigenous people who are, uh, blue and live in a forest.

Mrs. Beck: That's not Avatar?

Fred: Not really.

Mrs. Beck: So why don’t we, uh, take a walk and I can tell you a little bit about the company.

Fred: Okay.

E.B.: Fred, I've just had an idea. When I'm a famous rock star, I'm going to buy a mansion just like this, and make you sleep in the garage in a topsy-turvy switcheroo. What do you think?

Fred: Oh, man. My sister's here!

E.B.: You never told me you had a sister. There's still so much we don't know about each other, Fred.

Fred: Oh, man. If she goes upstairs, I'm dead.

E.B.: Why?

Fred: Why? Let me take you back to this morning when you flooded the bathroom and you trashed the bedroom, remember that?

E.B.: Fred, leave this to me. I'll smooth it out with her. Ow! Hey!

Fred: Look at me. One word out of you, and it's rabbit season. You got it? Okay, I'm going to run interference. I need you to sneak upstairs and clean up, quietly.

E.B.: Look, I'm supposed to take over this year, but...I ran away.

Fred: Are you crazy? Who wouldn't wanna be the Easter Bunny? That's, like, the greatest job ever.

E.B.: Yeah, you'd think so, but it's what my dad wants, not me. He expects so much. What's left of me to do but let him down?

Fred: Hmm, sounds familiar. Sometimes fathers just don't get it.

E.B.: [frustrated] H-He told me I only ever think of myself!

Fred: Other times they hit the nail right on the head.

E.B.: C'mon, Fred. I know I said we'd go our own separate ways, but please, you gotta protect me.

Fred: Look, I'm sorry, but I can't really leave you places, I can't really take you places, and I gotta go to my sister's play tonight.

E.B.: Oh, I like plays. [his eyes get sad]

Fred: You should go see a play that my sister's not in and my family will not be attending.

E.B.: [pause] I understand. Just drop me off at the bus station. I'm sure I'll be fine. I could be one of those street drummers...with a bucket!

Fred: Goodbye!

E.B.: But I want to stay with you! Fred, please, don’t go.

Fred: I'm already late. So go away.

E.B.: Oh, come on, man. [follows Fred] Fred, mate! I'll behave. I'll clean up this mess. I'll do the dishes!

Fred: Not your problem. There's no dishes in the wild.

E.B.: No, Fred, but... I'm special!

Fred: Well, we're all special.

E.B.: [jumps onto Fred's car] You're not getting it. I don't mean special as in "everybody's special", like we're different. I mean I'm really special. [crouches]

Fred: What're you doing?

E.B.: [stands up] See?

Fred: [looks behind E.B.] Jelly beans?

E.B.: Mmm-hmm.

David Hasselhoff: There he is. [E.B. turns around] How's my little guy.

E.B.: Actually, David Hasselhoff, I've got a problem.

David Hasselhoff: Hmm. [he snaps his fingers and chairs are placed for him and E.B.] Is it the jitters? Believe me, even I used to get them. Now, I find a good way...

E.B.: [interrupts the Hoff] No, it's not the jitters, David. I'm starting to realize I might be a really selfish rabbit. Look, I love drumming, but when my friend needed me most, I left him in a house full of highly-trained ninja bunnies. What am I gonna do?

David Hasselhoff: Hmm, a dilemma as old as time itself.

E.B.: I know if I left right now, I'd be giving up fame.

David Hasselhoff: And untold riches.

E.B.: And untold riches.

David Hasselhoff: And all the bunnies you could ever want.

E.B.: Yes, and all the... You're not really helping much, David, like, at all! And Fred could be in real trouble.

David Hasselhoff: [pause, referring to Fred] Go to him. [gets up and turns around] Go...to...him.

Announcer: Give it up for David Hasselhoff! It's the Hoff! Yeah!

[E.B. is in his room, playing his drum set while Phil dances until his father walks into the room]

Mr. Bunny: E.B.? E.B.!!!

E.B.: [stops drumming] Oh! Hello, Dad! What do you think?

Mr. Bunny: Um, uh, what do I... Uh, well, it's great. Really-really, uh, kicking. But, E.B., shouldn't you be rehearsing your speech? You're about to be crowned the Easter Bunny in front of 3000 of your peers.

E.B.: Um, yeah. About that.

Mr. Bunny: Yes?

E.B.: Look, Dad. [clears his throat] Ever since I was yea big, it's always been, "The Easter Bunny wouldn't do that." and "The Easter Bunny has to be perfect.". But I'm not perfect.

Mr. Bunny: I know that, son. But you'll get there eventually.

E.B.: Yes. But I'm... [sighs] Listen, you want me to be this. [picks up an Easter egg] But maybe I'm not this. Maybe I'm this. [he hands him a sock on the floor]

Mr. Bunny: A sock? [he grunts in disgust after smelling it]

E.B.: That's right. I might be a metaphorical sock. I might not be a good enough egg, but I might be the best sock ever! I might not cut it, delivering Easter baskets, but I might be great at something else! [gestures to his drum set]

Mr. Bunny: Oh, the drums! I think that's fine. I think it's really nice that you have a hobby. Everybody should have a hobby.

E.B.: It's not a hobby, Dad! I wanna drum in a band! I wanna see the world! [he spins his egg-shaped globe]

Mr. Bunny: E.B., the Easter Bunny sees the world. Every country in one night, making people happy.

E.B.: Really, Dad? The whole world? [he points to China] What about China?

[scene cuts to a Chinese woman shooing Mr. Bunny away with a broom, spilling baskets of candy and eggs into the streets]

Mr. Bunny: Look, it's candy, woman! Madame, please. [cuts back to E.B.'s room] Alright. So, we haven't cracked China yet. But for all those that do believe, you will be there.

E.B.: No, Dad! I don't wanna be the Easter Bunny!

Mr. Bunny: [seriously] Now, you listen to me! 4000 years of tradition doesn't end just because one selfish bunny doesn't feel like doing it! [goes to the door to leave the room]

E.B.: Look, Dad...

Mr. Bunny: No, E.B.! You look! You are going to be the Easter Bunny! Now you need to get it together, get rid of these drums and get your priorities straight! I'll see you out there! [closes his bedroom door]

E.B.: No. I don't think you will.