Heathers is a 1989 black comedy film about a girl who for a time half-heartedly tries to be part of the "in crowd" of her school, the "Heathers", who rule over others through intimidation, contempt, and sex appeal, and the lessons she learns in her interaction with an anti-social rebel with far more extreme forms of contempt for people and society.
- How very.
- What is your damage, Heather?
- If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn't be a human being. You'd be a game-show host.
- [praying over Heather's casket] Hi, I'm sorry. Technically, I did not kill Heather Chandler, but hey who am I trying to kid, right? I just want my high school to be a nicer place. Amen. Did that sound bitchy?
- Dear Diary, my teen-angst bullshit has a body count. Everybody's sad...but it's kind of a weird kind of sad. Suicide gave Heather depth, Kurt a soul, and Ram a brain. I don't know what it's given me, but I have no control over myself when I'm with J.D. Are we going to prom or to hell?
- Dear Diary: Heather told me she teaches people "real life." She said, real life sucks losers dry. You want to fuck with the eagles, you have to learn to fly. I said, so you teach people how to spread their wings and fly? She said, yes. I said, you're beautiful.
Jason "J.D." DeanEdit
- Greetings and Salutations.
- Football season is over, Veronica. Kurt and Ram had nothing left to offer the school except date rapes and AIDS jokes.
- Our love is god, let's go get a slushie.
- Today was great, chaos is great! Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling.
- I can't believe you did it. I was teasing. I loved you. Course, I was coming up here to kill ya...
- They all want me as a friend or a fuck. I'm worshipped at Westerburg and I'm only a junior.
- Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Teresa?
- [praying, at Heather Chandler's funeral] I prayed for the death of Heather Chandler many times and I felt bad every time I did it but I kept doing it anyway. Now I know you understood everything. Praise Jesus, Hallelujah.
- Veronica, why are you pulling my dick?
- Father Ripper: We must pray the other teenagers of Sherwood, Ohio, know the name of that righteous dude who can solve their problems: it's Jesus Christ, and he's in the Book.
- Veronica's Mom: When teenagers complain that they want to be treated like human beings, it's usually because they are being treated like human beings.
- J.D.: Is your life perfect?
- Veronica: I'm on my way to a party at Remington University... No, my life's not perfect. I don't really like my friends.
- J.D.: I... I don't really like your friends either.
- Veronica: Well, it's just like - they're people I work with, and our job is being popular and shit.
- J.D.: Maybe it's time to take a vacation.
- Heather Chandler: You stupid fuck.
- Veronica: You God damn bitch.
- Heather Chandler: I brought you to a Remington party and what's my thanks? It's on a hallway carpet. I got paid in puke.
- Veronica: Lick it up, baby. Lick it up.
- Veronica: I just killed my best friend.
- J.D.: And your worst enemy.
- Veronica: Same difference.
- J.D.: What are we gonna tell the cops? "Fuck it if she can't take a joke, Sarge?"
- Veronica: Oh, the cops. I can't believe this is my life. Oh my God. I'm gonna have to send my SAT scores to San Quentin instead of Stanford.
- J.D.: Ah, right. I'm just a little freaked here. Well at least you got whatcha wanted y'know?
- Veronica: Got what I wanted? It is one thing to want somebody out of your life, it is another thing to serve them a wake-up cup full of liquid drainer.
- Veronica: All we want is to be treated like human beings, not to be experimented on like guinea pigs or patronized like bunny rabbits.
- Veronica's Dad: I don't patronize bunny rabbits.
- Heather McNamara: Suicide is a private thing.
- Veronica: You're throwing your life away to become a statistic on U. S. fucking A. Today; that's about the least private thing I can think of.
- Veronica: Heather, why can't you just be a friend? Why do you have to be such a mega-bitch?
- Heather Duke: Because I can be.
- J.D.: Do you think that just because you started this thing you can end it?
- Veronica: I'll kill you, I'll fucking kill you, I swear to God! How do I turn off the God damn bomb, asshole?
- J.D.: [gives Veronica the finger] FUCK YOU! [Veronica shoots his middle finger] SHIT!
- Veronica: It's all over, J.D., help me stop it!
- J.D.: You wanna clean slate as much as I do! Alright, so maybe I am killing everyone in the school because nobody loves me! Let's face it, alright. The only place where different social types can genuinely get along with each other is in heaven.
- Veronica: Which button do I press to turn it off?
- J.D.: Try the red one, alright? Seriously, people will look at the ashes of Westerburg and say, "Now there's a school that self-destructed, not because society didn't care, but because the school was society." Now that's deep.
- Veronica: WHICH red button?
- J.D.: Press the one in the middle, to turn it off if that's what you really want.
- Veronica: You know what I want, babe?
- J.D.: What?! [tries to attack but Veronica shoots him to stop the bomb]
- Veronica: Cool guys like you out of my life.
- Heather Duke: Veronica, you look like hell.
- Veronica: Yeah? I just got back. Heather, my love, there's a new sheriff in town.
- Best friends, social trends and occasional murder.
- A killer comedy.
- Winona Ryder - Veronica Sawyer
- Christian Slater - Jason 'J.D.' Dean
- Shannen Doherty - Heather Duke
- Kim Walker - Heather Chandler
- Lisanne Falk - Heather McNamara
- Penelope Milford - Pauline Fleming
- Glenn Shadix - Father Ripper
- Lance Fenton - Kurt Kelly
- Patrick Labyorteaux - Ram Sweeney
- Carrie Lynn - Martha 'Dumptruck' Dunnstock
- John Ingle - Principal Gowan