Gotham (season 1)

Seasons: 1|2|3|4|5|Main

Gotham is a superhero drama/crime series that premiered in September 2014 on Fox. It revolves around a teenage Bruce Wayne before he became Batman, and how he first met the familiar characters in the Batman universe, such as The Penguin, The Riddler, Selina Kyle and Jim Gordon.

Pilot [1.01]

Jim Gordon: I promise you, however dark and scary the world might be right now... there will be light. There will be light, Bruce.

Harvey Bullock: [to Gordon] Jim, you seem like a nice guy, but this is not a city or a job for nice guys.

Fish Mooney: You have a little danger in your eye. I wonder what you plan to do with that.

Jim Gordon: You'll have to wait and see.

Carmine Falcone: Pepper was sacrificed so that the people of Gotham would see swift justice done, so they can feel safe and secure.

Jim Gordon: And that matters so much to you.

Carmine Falcone: Of course. I'm a businessman. You can't have organized crime without law and order. I love this city, and I see it going to hell. But I won't let it fall apart without a fight.

Jim Gordon: You make a life of crime sound very noble.

Carmine Falcone: You have a hard head, James, just like your father. Don't be self-righteous. Don't be arrogant.

Jim Gordon: You want me to keep quiet about all this?

Carmine Falcone: Gotham is on a knife edge. What do you suppose bringing down City Hall and the police force will do, even if you could? Would it make things better?

Oswald Cobblepot: Listen to me, there is a war coming. A-a terrible war. Falcone is losing his grip, and his rivals are hungry. There-there will be chaos. Rivers of blood in the streets. I know it! I-I can see it coming. I'm clever that way.

Bruce Wayne: I'm learning to conquer fear.

Jim Gordon: Fear doesn't need conquering. Fear tells you where the edge is. Fear is a good thing.

Alfred Pennyworth: And you think I haven't told him that, have you?

Selina Kyle [1.02]

Harvey Bullock: How now so righteous? Hmm? Not long since you put a man in the river.

Jim Gordon: You want to say that a little louder? Not everybody heard.

Harvey Bullock: Ever since then, you've been a royal pain in the ass. You think I or anybody around here gives a crap about a dead snitch or your guilty conscience?

Oswald Cobblepot: Foolish arrogance led me astray. But I learned my lessons. I'll be back, stronger and smarter than ever.

Sarah Essen: Look, Jim, it's not like I can order you to break the law, but this is Gotham. You don't bend, you'll get broke.

Fish Mooney: I'll play this thing loyal and bide my time. But I swear, Butch, on my sainted mother's grave, some day soon, I am going to kill that old man with my bare hands and my teeth.

Butch Gilzean: I'll be holding your shoes.

Fish Mooney: [to Gordon] You're just a little sinner like the rest of us. I'm almost kind of sad about that.

Alfred Pennyworth: Bruce's father gave me very firm orders was him and his missus to die. Now, I will raise the boy the way his father told me to raise him.

Jim Gordon: Which is how?

Alfred Pennyworth: Trust him to choose his own course. He is, after all, a Wayne.

The Balloonman [1.03]

Sal Maroni: You see, Falcone is only the boss of Gotham because people believe he's the boss. That's what this Arkham thing is gonna change. People are gonna see that the emperor's got no clothes.

Sal Maroni: [looking at the video of a bishop being killed] See this, this is not good. [while making the sign of the cross] You can't go around killing priests. At least not in public.

Jim Gordon: No body? We calling this a murder?

Harvey Bullock: Call it a public service. Danzer was a bum. He got what he deserved. I'm gonna go get a danish. That's what I deserve.

Jim Gordon: The city's sick. Sick in a way I hadn't realized.

Oswald Cobblepot: Hello, James. Old friend.

Arkham [1.04]

Jim Gordon: I should put a bullet in your head right now.

Oswald Cobblepot: And you would have every right to do so. But you won't, Jim Gordon, because you're a good man. You may very well be the last good man in Gotham, and that's why I want to help you.

Jim Gordon: I don't want your help!

Oswald Cobblepot: No? But you need it! That vile creature, Fish Mooney... Don Falcone... the police... not even your own partner trusts you! They will always hide the truth from you, but not me! Never me! You saved my life.

Jim Gordon: God knows I wish I hadn't.

Jim Gordon: Why will there be a war?

Oswald Cobblepot: Well, as you know, war is just politics by other means. And isn't politics just money, talking?

Jim Gordon: Talking about what?

Oswald Cobblepot: [smirking] Arkham, of course

Harvey Bullock: Ed, what you got?

Edward Nygma: I have a paradox for you.

Harvey Bullock: What?

Edward Nygma: Well, a paradox, Detective, is when you...

Harvey Bullock: I know what a paradox is, smart-ass.

Bruce Wayne: Bad dream.

Alfred Pennyworth: Oh. Was I in it?

Bruce Wayne: Not this time.

Richard Gladwell: [to a victim he's about to burn alive] You know if it were up to me, this would be over quick, without all the fuss. My father used to say, "Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication." But it's not up to me. And my customer specifically asked me to send a message. And you know what they say: The customer is always right.

Viper [1.05]

Jim Gordon: Where is he? Where is Potolsky?

Isaac Steiner: Those hypocrites! Empty altruism will not erase what they've done. They must pay.

Jim Gordon: Who? Who must pay?

Isaac Steiner: WellZyn. Wayne Enterprises. Everyone will finally see them for what they are.

Jim Gordon: How? Where's Potolsky headed?

Harvey Bullock: What's 'altruism?'

Bruce Wayne: Could you pass me that blue folder over there?

Alfred Pennyworth: Well, I suppose as hobbies go, this is a damn sight better than grilling yourself like a bloody pork chop. Still, not particularly healthy, is it?

Bruce Wayne: Thank you.

Alfred Pennyworth: Are you listening to me?

Bruce Wayne: Y--yeah. yeah, for sure. I'll take a walk later. Thank you, Alfred.

Taylor Reece: WellZyn has no connection to this tragedy. We will vigorously pursue legal action against any individuals making assertions to the contrary.

Harvey Bullock: Do you think we push a button, or does she just rewind automatically?

Sal Maroni: What's your name again?

Oswald Cobblepot: Everyone here calls me Penguin, sir.

Sal Maroni: You don't like that name, huh? Yeah, well, you're wrong. It's a good name. Works for you.

Harvey Bullock: Where the hell have you been?

Jim Gordon: Personal business.

Harvey Bullock: You disappear in the middle of a case, you can't even tell me why?

Jim Gordon: That's what "personal" means.

Spirit of the Goat [1.06]

Detective Dix: Gotham's golden rule, Harvey: No heroes.

Jim Gordon: Barbara... This city... the law, the crime here, they're all... twisted up in each other like a maze. I came here to be a cop. This city needs something else.

Harvey Bullock: I didn't realize this before. You're a hypnotist, right?

Dr. Marks: A hypnotherapist.

Harvey Bullock: Oh, therapist. It's a funny word, therapist. Can either mean "therapist" or "the rapist."

The Goat: Randall Milkie is undone. Gone. This body is moved by the Spirit of the Goat.

Harvey Bullock: Uh, we're going to go with Milkie. I've already done the paperwork.

Detective Dix: He always thinks he's the smartest one in the room.

Jim Gordon: I know, right?

Harvey Bullock: [annoyed] That's because I'm always in a room full of idiots.

Dr. Marks: It's true, isn't it? You can't really hypnotize somebody to do something that they don't already want to do. And deep down, we all want to eat the rich.

Harvey Bullock: You're under arrest for conspiracy to commit murder, coercion, and a few things we'll probably have to name after you.

Penguin's Umbrella [1.07]

Oswald Cobblepot: When you know what a man loves, you know what can kill him.

Sal Maroni: Um, I heard Vic Zasz tore up the G.C.P.D., tracking down Gordon. Did you catch him yet?

Carmine Falcone: We're working on it.

Sal Maroni: Well, good luck with that. There's nothing more dangerous than an honest man, huh?

Victor Zsasz: Hi, Jim. Relax. I'm supposed to take you in alive. Don Falcone wants to talk.

Jim Gordon: Tell Falcone we'll talk. But not today.

Victor Zsasz: Don't be that way. "Alive" is a very broad category. A man with no hands can still be alive.

Sarah Essen: Are you insane?

Jim Gordon: No. Maybe a little. Feels good.

Harvey Bullock: So I've been thinking. You're still a douchebag. But you have the moral high ground. So I'm gonna back your play, whatever it is. I figure I'm doomed anyhow. I might as well join the good guys.

Jim Gordon: Thank you.

Harvey Bullock: So what is your play? I mean, you got one, right? You said you had one.

Jim Gordon: Tomorrow morning, I'm arresting Falcone and the mayor for the framing of Mario Pepper. Conspiracy, POJ, Rico, the works.

Harvey Bullock: Well, that's a…that's a hell of a plan. You sit there with a panel of chimpanzees and a bucket of crack and come up with that one?

Jim Gordon: I figure whatever else happens, we'll stir things up. We might even make the papers.

Harvey Bullock: Oh, yeah, we're gonna make the papers, all right. We're gonna be dead in the streets in time for the evening edition.

Jim Gordon: Well, at least the people will know the truth. And we'll go out doing our jobs, enforcing the law.

Harvey Bullock: That's the best inspirational speech you got? Doing our jobs?

Jim Gordon: You don't have to join me.

Harvey Bullock: No, I'm game. Like I said, I'm doomed anyhow.

The Mask [1.08]

Alfred Pennyworth: Don't you miss your mates?

Bruce Wayne: Not really. I've always found them kind of childish.

Alfred Pennyworth: Well, that's what they're meant to be, aren't they? That's what they do. Don't you want to be like a normal kid?

Bruce Wayne: I'm not sure. Define "normal" and make a good case for it.

Alfred Pennyworth: You're going to bloody school. Now start walking.

Richard Sionis: You see the man without the mask? Whoever kills him... is the victor.

Jim Gordon: Listen to me. I'm a cop. So far, you haven't broken any laws.

Richard Sionis: Let the games... begin.

Jim Gordon: One last chance! Nobody moves!

Richard Sionis: Oh, and I'll throw in a million dollar signing bonus.

Jim Gordon: Ah, crap.

Alfred Pennyworth: Don't you be scared.

Bruce Wayne: I'm not. I'm visualizing what I'm gonna do.

Alfred Pennyworth: 'Cause if you don't want to do this, there's no shame in it.

Bruce Wayne: There would be immense shame in it.

Fish Mooney: I grew up not too far from here. One bedroom, cold water. Just me and my mama. I used to sleep in a bed behind the curtain. It's where I would hide when she entertained men. And that's where I was when he killed her. One of Falcone's men. Didn't like the service. I hid there, silent, until morning. With my mama two feet away from me. That night, I made a promise.

Liza: To get revenge.

Fish Mooney: To never again be powerless. To never let any man, any man, be over me. This is about keeping that promise to that little girl.

Tommy Elliot: What the hell are you doing here?

Bruce Wayne: We have unfinished business.

Tommy Elliott: Listen, if you think you're gonna tell my parents-

[Bruce punches him across the face.]

Tommy Elliott: Are you crazy?!

Bruce Wayne: [punches him again] Don't talk about my mother!

[Bruce punches him a third time, driving him to his knees.]

Alfred Pennyworth: Master Bruce! Point well made, I think. You all right, mate? Any broken bones?

Tommy Elliott: He-he tried to kill me!

Alfred Pennyworth: That's right, he did. He tried to kill you. Just you remember that the next time you see him. And you remember that I let him try.

Bruce Wayne: Alfred? Can you teach me how to fight?

Alfred Pennyworth: Yes, Master Bruce. Yes, I can.

Harvey Dent [1.09]

Oswald Cobblepot: [sniffing Mooney] Lilacs. Mmm. You smell good.

Fish Mooney: You don't.

Oswald Cobblepot: Snappy as ever. Oh! Well, good-bye then. Sorry you're grumpy with me. But, reaching out in friendship is never wrong. [leaves]

Butch Gilzean: Man, that dude's creepy.

Selina Kyle: [to Bruce] Hit me, and I'll let you kiss me.

[Selina picks up a vase]

Bruce Wayne: It's from the Chinese Ming dynasty. Five... five-hundred-years old.

Selina Kyle: You can get one just like it for $5 in Chinatown.

Bruce Wayne: There's plenty to eat in the kitchen. Alfred will be happy to fix you some...

Alfred Pennyworth: No, he won't be, will he? Because it's not a bloody hotel!

Selina Kyle: Why are you doing that?

Bruce Wayne: Training.

Selina Kyle: Oh... like the boxing. So, if anyone mugs you with a diving board, you'll be ready, huh?

LoveCraft [1.10]

Alfred Pennyworth: I'm coming with you.

Harvey Bullock: All right. You're pretty handy for a valet.

Alfred Pennyworth: [racks his pistol] Butler, mate. I'm the butler.

Bruce Wayne: Why can't I call Alfred or Detective Gordon to let them know I'm okay?

Selina Kyle: Because we're disappearing. You got to be like smoke. Smoke doesn't make phone calls.

Selina Kyle: Let me ask you a question. What's up with all the weird homework about your mom and dad?

Bruce Wayne: I'm trying to understand why it happened.

Selina Kyle: There's no why. Bad stuff happens. You--you got to get over it.

Bruce Wayne: Maybe you're right.

Selina Kyle: Of course I'm right. You want to kiss me?

Bruce Wayne: No, thank you.

Alfred Pennyworth: You really scared me, Master Bruce. If you die... who employs butlers anymore?

Bruce Wayne: I know you. You're Mario Pepper's daughter.

Ivy Pepper: Yes. Who are you?

Bruce Wayne: I'm Bruce Wayne.

Ivy Pepper: [bitter] Yes, you are. Billionaire Bruce Wayne.

Selina Kyle: Stay cool, now, Ivy…

Ivy Pepper: I am cool! Why would you tell me to stay cool? Why are you telling me what to do?

Selina Kyle: I'm not. I'm just saying I don't want you to get mad at him. He's a friend.

Ivy Pepper: Why would I get mad at him? It's not his fault. [gives Bruce an accusing look] Is it? Did you kill my father? Did you make my mother cut her wrists?

Bruce Wayne: [stunned] No.

Ivy Pepper: Somebody did. Somebody did, but not him. What are you doing? Are you doing okay?

Bruce Wayne: I'm okay. And you?

Ivy Pepper: [agitated] I'm doing okay. How do I look?

Bruce Wayne: [a little stunned] You look good.

Selina Kyle: [to Ivy] Have you seen Clyde the fence around?

Ivy Pepper: Yeah, he's working out of the Factory on the Narrows. [looks to Bruce] He's cute, isn't he?

Selina Kyle: Yes, he is. ptakes Bruce by the arm and starts leaving] Uh, thanks, Ivy, good to see you. Uh... we got to go run and see Clyde.

Ivy Pepper: Oh. Okay, fine. Bye, then.

[Selina and Bruce walks away.]

Selina Kyle: Keep. Moving.

Bruce Wayne: She's just a little girl. Why are you so scared of her? [looks back to Ivy]

Selina Kyle: [alarmed] Because she's scary! Don't look back!

Rogue's Gallery [1.11]

Sarah Essen: You know I'd bring you back here in a second…if I could.

Jim Gordon: I know. It's all good, Captain.

Sarah Essen: You do look spiffy in the uniform.

Harvey Bullock: Yeah, if spiffy means dorky.

Jim Gordon: Thank you. Thank you very much.

Sal Maroni: Let this be a lesson to you, yes?

Oswald Cobblepot: Yes, sir.

Sal Maroni: You're a smart monkey... but you're a monkey. And I'm the zookeeper.

Jim Gordon: What?

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: You're the famous detective Jim Gordon, aren't you?

Jim Gordon: That's my name. I'm not sure about "famous."

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: Notorious, then?

Jim Gordon: Nearer the mark.

Harvey Bullock: Hey, pal.

Royston: In a cow slip's bell I lie, there I crouch when owls do cry.

Harvey Bullock: All right. I can dig that.

Oswald Cobblepot: A simple phone call would resolve things, I'm sure.

Harvey Bullock: But, see, I like having you here. 'Cause I can sit at my desk and look at you. It's soothing. Like a bonsai tree.

Gabe: What's a bonsai tree?

[Oswald thunks his head against the bars.]

What The Little Bird Told Him [1.12]

Jim Gordon: [to Loeb] This is the first I've seen you down here with the rank and file. You must be desperate.

Commissioner Gillian Loeb: Follow me.

Harvey Bullock: [to Gordon] Really nice knowing you.

Commissioner Gillian Loeb: Bring your friend Bullock.

Harvey Bullock: [to Gordon] I hate you. I hate you.

Jack Gruber: Now I see the world for what it really is. An abandoned factory full of broken machines. Some--very few--can be fixed. Most... just have to be scrapped.

Harvey Bullock: What are you laughing at?

Jim Gordon: Ah, it's good to be back.

Harvey Bullock: Only a man from a lunatic asylum would say that. You're like a human roller coaster, except you only go down.

Edward Nygma: Wouldn't that make him more of an elevator?

Kristen Kringle: I believe you left this on my desk.

Edward Nygma: It's a riddle.

Kristen Kringle: It's a cupcake with a live bullet sticking out of it.

Edward Nygma: It's a riddle.

Kristen Kringle: It's menacing and weird and inedible.

Jim Gordon: I'm done being careful.

Harvey Bullock: You think you've been careful so far?

Jim Gordon: Men like Commissioner Loeb are never going to trust me.

Harvey Bullock: You think you've been careful so far?

Jim Gordon: So why play nice?

Harvey Bullock: You think... you've been careful so far?

Jim Gordon: Don't worry. I know what I'm doing. Let's go grab a beer.

Harvey Bullock: Now you're messing with my mind. I need something stronger than a beer.

Welcome Back, Jim Gordon [1.13]

Butch Gilzean: Falcone's gonna have the whole city looking for us.

Alfred Pennyworth: Shall I get a broom then? Or would you rather continue crying over the shattered fragments of your young dreams?

Oswald Cobblepot: I bid you welcome to the official grand opening of my newest night spot!

Arnold Flass: Ah, Bullock, still dressing in the dark and smelling like a taphouse whore.

Jim Gordon: Sorry, Harv, I know you had a thing for her.

Harvey Bullock: I don't got a thing for nobody. My thing is for me.

Gertrud Kapelput: I am so proud of you. I could spit.

The Fearsome Dr. Crane [1.14]

[Fish calls Maroni from a pay phone]

Fish Mooney: Hello, Sal.

Sal Maroni: Hey.

Fish Mooney: You sound surprised. Let me guess, your little friend Penguin told you I was dead.

Sal Maroni: As good as.

Fish Mooney: I'm just on vacation for awhile. I'm not gonna lie, I thought I was going to end up on top, but I got played. Turns out Penguin has been Falcone's man the whole time. They played us both for suckers.

Sal Maroni: Is that right?

Fish Mooney: Indeed. He told me himself right as I was about to gut him.

Sal Maroni: You understand why I might be skeptical, considering it's you telling me this.

Fish Mooney: Oh, wake up, dummy. You mean to tell me this whole time that you haven't suspected anything? That he hasn't made one slip that he's had to explain away? Or maybe even you wanted to believe his lies. But it still gnaws at you, the doubt.

Sal Maroni: Maybe a couple of times.

Fish Mooney: It's time for you to get your house in order, Salvatore. And remember who put you wise.

Edward Nygma: Good morning, Captain.

Sarah Essen: Morning, Ed.

Edward Nygma: The more you cut me, the bigger I grow. What am I?

Harvey Bullock: We're on a rooftop, Nygma. Don't tempt me.

Sarah Essen: Hey, don't stand so near the edge.

Harvey Bullock: You worried about me, Captain? You know I don't start drinking till noon.

Jim Gordon: You notice I don't ask you about your love life.

Harvey Bullock: My love life is an open book and a short and nasty one. But I'm working on the vic's friend in the phobia support group, and unless she's the killer, I think I'm in there.

Jim Gordon: You see why I don't ask?

Jim Gordon: How long have you been here?

Selina Kyle: Just last night... and a couple times before. I knew your girlfriend was gone, and I heard that you got sent to guard that loony bin, so I figured better here than sleeping on the street.

Jim Gordon: Have you seen Barbara?

Selina Kyle: No. Oh, so things are over between you two, huh? Sure you should be here, then? Maybe you're the one breaking in.

Jim Gordon: Get your things. I'm taking you someplace safe.

Selina Kyle: "Someplace safe", like Wayne Manor? That was your last great idea.

Jim Gordon: So someplace else. You're still the only witness to the Wayne murders.

Selina Kyle: Hmmm. You haven't talked to Bruce since you got back?

Jim Gordon: No, why?

Selina Kyle: Because I told him already. I didn't see anything. I lied. [pause] Sucks about your girlfriend. She's got some really nice stuff.

The Scarecrow [1.15]

Oswald Cobblepot: Can I help you?

Edward Nygma: I don't think so. Can you?

Oswald Cobblepot: What do you want?

Edward Nygma: What I want, the poor have, the rich need, and if you eat it you'll die.

Oswald Cobblepot: Is this... are you asking me a riddle?

Edward Nygma: Do you like riddles?

Oswald Cobblepot: No.

Edward Nygma: So do you give up?

Oswald Cobblepot: Friend, lookit...

Edward Nygma: Nothing. The answer's nothing. The poor have it, the rich need it, and if you eat it you'll die.

Oswald Cobblepot: Who are you?

Edward Nygma: Edward Nygma.

Jonathan Crane: I'm not--I'm not even afraid like you.

Gerald Crane: We're all afraid. Every man and woman on the planet. We're all standing on the abyss, paralyzed by fear.

Oswald Cobblepot: One day soon, you'll need my help. You'll come to me. And walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.

Jim Gordon: Three dates, and I still haven't been to your apartment.

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: Well, what particular room in my apartment are you interested in?

Jim Gordon: Oh, I don't know. How's the kitchen?

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: Small.

Jim Gordon: Living room?

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: Dark.

Jim Gordon: What about the bedroom?

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: The bedroom I think you'd like.

Bruce Wayne: Well, Alfred... we can only stay if you think you can handle it.

Alfred Pennyworth: If I can handle it? Mate, this place is positively cushy compared to some of the place I've slept at. Cup of tea, you cheeky monkey?

The Blind Fortune Teller [1.16]

Jim Gordon: Do you know why you're here?

Jerome Valeska: Did you find out who killed my mother?

Jim Gordon: You killed your mother, Jerome.

Jerome: [stunned] Me?

Jim Gordon: You killed her up on that hill, and Mr. Cicero let you clean up in his trailer. He told you to scratch the Satanist stuff on the hatchet, and throw it off the bridge.

Jerome Valeska: Sir, that's absurd, and offensive.

Jim Gordon: But it's the truth. [looking at Cicero] What I don't know is why this man risked so much to help you. I think he's your father.

Jerome Valeska: You don't know what you're talking about. My father was a sea captain.

Jim Gordon: Am I wrong, Mr. Cicero?

Paul Cicero: Yes.

Jerome Valeska: He was a sea captain. His name was Sven Carlson, and he died at sea.

Jim Gordon: What was the name of his ship?

Jerome Valeska: He worked on a lot of different ships.

Jim Gordon: The one he went down in.

Jerome Valeska: [pause] She never said.

Jim Gordon: We can do a blood test to prove I'm right. It takes only half an hour to get a foolproof result. Isn't that right, Dr. Thompkins?

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: That's right.

Jim Gordon: Save yourself a needle.

Paul Cicero: I do hate needles. I'm sorry, Jerome.

Jerome Valeska: What are you talking about?

Paul Cicero: He's right. I am your father.

Jerome Valeska: No you're not! Why would you say that?

Paul Cicero: You must have suspected the truth.

Jerome Valeska: You're not my father. My mother would never have...

Paul Cicero: Your mother was a cruel woman. She was often unkind to me. But she did once love me, in her way. And she loved you very much. That's why she gave you a better father.

[Jerome starts crying; then, suddenly, he begins laughing, and looks at Cicero with a sadistic smile on his face]

Jerome Valeska: My mother was a coldhearted whore who never loved anyone, and she'd never touch a pathetic old creep like you.

Paul Cicero: All these years, do you think I was kind to you because I'm such a good man? If I wasn't your father…would I would have helped you as I have after what you did?

Jerome Valeska: [pause] My father. Hmmm, I’ll be damned. That’s very funny. [laughs and makes a rimshot noise] Looks like the bitch got me with the zinger in the end.

Jim Gordon: Why did you kill your mother, Jerome?

Jerome Valeska: Oh, you know how mothers are. She just... kept... pushing. And I’m like, "Fine, mom, be a whore. Be a drunken whore, even. But don't be a nagging drunken whore" ...you know? "Don't come yell at me to do the dishes, if you've been banging a clown in the next room! [punches the table] You know? [laughs maniacally]

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: There are plenty of things in this world that can't be explained by rational science.

Jim Gordon: Yeah, people who enjoy folk dancing, for instance. Doesn't mean ghosts exist.

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: You say you want a strong woman to share this crazy life you've chosen, but when push comes to shove, you want me to stay home and bake cookies.

Jim Gordon: Not cookies, necessarily. Pie. Any kind of pie.

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: Ha, ha!

Sarah Essen: Wait, back up a little. So you set the snake loose?

Jim Gordon: Yes, ma'am.

Sarah Essen: To track down the body?

Jim Gordon: Yes, ma'am. 'Cause snakes have an excellent sense of smell.

Sarah Essen: Well, now I know. And your prime suspects are a clown and an acrobat?

Jim Gordon: Yep.

Harvey Bullock: Ain't this one a doozy?

Jim Gordon: Hey. Sorry the date went south.

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: Are you kidding? Best date ever. Who gets to see a circus brawl?

Red Hood [1.17]

Barbara Kean: You know, you're turning into quite a beautiful woman.

Selina Kyle: No, I'm not.

Barbara Kean: Remove the dirt, that old hood, those ratty clothes…I bet we find a princess underneath.

Oswald Cobblepot: Perhaps it's not our friends but... our enemies that define us.

Reggie Payne: The faces. I see them at night... when I'm alone. The faces... the faces of those we killed. Do you?

Alfred Pennyworth: I don't have to look for them, Reg. They find me.

Reggie Payne: He has nothing concrete. Just faces, newspaper articles. There's no grounds for an investigation, just suspicion, cobbled together theories…nothing.

Molly Mathis: Has he had outside council?

Reggie Payne: I don't think so.

Molly Mathis: And his caretaker, Mr. Pennyworth?

Reggie Payne: He's in the hospital.

Molly Mathis: For how long?

Reggie Payne: If he lives, a few weeks, give or take. [with difficulty] Now's the time to make a move on the kid.

[the board members leave, except for Mathis, who hands Reggie an envelope filled with cash]

Molly Mathis: Thank you for your service, Mr. Payne. I doubt we'll meet again.

Reggie Payne: He's just a kid…a good kid.

Molly Mathis: Goodbye, Mr. Payne.

Barbara Kean: You're a true beauty. Something you can use to your advantage. Your appearance can be a weapon, as powerful as any knife or gun.

Selina Kyle: Yeah? What good's it done you?

Everyone Has A Cobblepot [1.18]

Arnold Flass: I'm just like the phoenix. I'll just rise again and again and again.

Bruce Wayne: [reading to Alfred] And then I looked at the stars, and considered how awful it would be for a man to turn his face up to them as he froze to death, and see no help or pity in the glittering multitude...

Harvey Bullock: You sure about this, Penguin? You're telling me this is where Loeb keeps twenty years of dirty secrets? Doesn't feel right.

Jim Gordon: Well, maybe that's the point. No one would suspect it.

Oswald Cobblepot: Which would you prefer, Detective Bullock? A sign saying "Super secret blackmail hoard"?

Harvey Bullock: You know, the last time the three of us took a ride, you were in the trunk. I liked that better.

Harvey Bullock: You tell yourself, "I'll just do this one bad thing. All the good things I'll do later will make up for it." But they don't.

Fish Mooney: I've gone great lengths to meet you, Doctor.

Dr. Francis Dulmacher: Indeed you have. I must say you have a remarkable constitution. I wish I could say that same of all my patients.

Fish Mooney: Oh. So I'm a patient now? No longer a prisoner?

Dr. Francis Dulmacher: I confess I don't know what you are. You seize control of the basement, take one my guards hostage, then scoop out your own eye. What am I to do with you?

Beasts of Prey [1.19]

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: New case?

Jim Gordon: Sort of. It's an unsolved homicide that a uni asked me to look into. It's an odd one.

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: Ooh, how so?

Jim Gordon: I thought you were hungry.

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: What can I say? You had me at homicide.

Jim Gordon: Harvey, the victim deserves justice.

Harvey Bullock: Yeah, and I deserve a mute supermodel who likes pasty Irish guys and loves to cook. It's not happening.

Fish Mooney: Every night when I close my eyes, I pray to God that the nightmare doesn't come. That living, breathing man stitched together with arms and legs that weren't his. That nightmare you created. I've faced dangerous men, but none like you…Dollmaker.

Francis Dulmacher: So, you would rather take your own life than end up one of my creations?

Fish Mooney: Yes.

Francis Dulmacher: Well, Ms. Mooney, try anything like this again, and your nightmare will come true. I will bring you back from the dead if I have to, and make you into something the world has never seen.

Gabe: I still don't get. Why all this trouble for this pile of bricks?

Oswald Cobblepot: This was never about money, Gabe.

Gabe: Not about money? What else is there?

Oswald Cobblepot: All kinds of things motivate people. Lust, ambition, envy.

Gabe: Okay. What motivated you? Why do you want this place so bad?

Oswald Cobblepot: It's simple: This is where I'm going to kill Don Maroni.

Selina Kyle: Could've smashed your head in with a brick, you know?

Bruce Wayne: Why would you do that? Why'd you even say that?

Selina Kyle: Just thought you should know.

Under the Knife [1.20]

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: I do like that you think of me as a loved one.

Jim Gordon: I do. I love you.

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: It only took a serial killer to get you to say that.

Edward Nygma: I can start a war, or end one. I can give you the strength of heroes, or leave you powerless. I can be snared with a glance, but no force can compel me to stay. What am I?

Tom Dougherty: You got me.

Edward Nygma: Love.

Oswald Cobblepot: You tell Sal it's over. The guns are bought. The killing room is waiting. He doesn't know it, but he's a dead man.

Jason Lennon: The person that I am now, I created. I brought him into being. I can do the same for you. Aren't you tired of playing games? Of hiding?

Selina Kyle: [waltzing with Bruce] Everyone's staring at us.

Bruce Wayne: Well, I am Bruce Wayne. [Selina shakes her head in exasperation] Well, I am!

The Anvil or the Hammer [1.21]

Jason Lennon: Barbara, I love you. I love you like no one has ever loved you, but if you try to escape I will chain you to the ceiling and gut you.

Jason Lennon: You still don't believe I love you. You think I'm crazy. That's fine. I see the truth. I see your truth. I see that you've spent your whole life trying to kill it, but you can't--it's too strong. You revealed it to me the other night. I want to set that free, I want to set you free.

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: I would never try to change you, Jim. Your sense of mission--it's part of what I love about you.

Jim Gordon: I thought it was my devastating good looks. That's a joke.

Sally: [of the Ogre] Promise me, when you find him, don't arrest him. Kill him.

Jim Gordon: You got it.

Kristen Kringle: I mean, why do I keep picking creeps?

Edward Nygma: Sometimes, with men, you need to read between the lines.

Kristen Kringle: Sometimes, with men, you need a drink.

All Happy Families Are Alike [1.22]

Alfred Pennyworth: [to Bruce] Still looking for clues, sir? Or just breaking stuff?

Sal Maroni: Guys! Can you feel the buzz in the air? That's victory. Redemption. Power! When this old man dies, a new day begins. We will rule Gotham. We are building a dynasty. We will whip this town like a rented mule.

Carmine Falcone: That was your father's. He gave it to me a long time ago. A spur-of-the-moment birthday gift. I said no. Such a beautiful knife, and I have men with guns to protect me. He said take it. A knife is a good friend when you have no other.

Jim Gordon: You were that close.

Carmine Falcone: At one time. The point of the story, Jim--your father was the most honest men I ever met. But he carried a knife.

Oswald Cobblepot: I'm going to take your place, old man. I'm going to be king of Gotham!

Carmine Falcone: You? Never. You're going to burn in hell!

Oswald Cobblepot: I do worry about that. But you first, old friend. You first.

Oswald Cobblepot: [after defeating Mooney] I'm the king of Gotham... I'm the king of Gotham!