- [looking in the mirror] Hello, gorgeous.
- Note: ranked #81 in the American Film Institute's list of the top 100 movie quotations in American cinema.
- Suppose all ya ever had for breakfast was onion rolls. Then one day, in walks a (gasp)bagel! You'd say, 'Ugh, what's that?' Until you tried it! That's my problem. I'm a bagel on a plate full of onion rolls. Nobody recognizes me! Listen, I got 36 expressions. Sweet as pie and as tough as leather. And that's six expressions more than all them...Barrymores put together. Instead of just kicking me, why don't they give me a lift? Well, it must be a plot, 'cause they're scared that I got such a gift!...
Well, I'm miffed. 'Cause I'm - the greatest star. I am by far, but no one knows it. Wait - they're gonna hear a voice, a silver flute. They'll cheer each toot, hey, she's terrific!, when I expose it. Now can't you see to look at me that I'm a natural Camille. And as Camille, I just feel, I've so much to offer. Hey listen, kid, I know I'd be divine because I'm a natural cougher(cough.) Some ain't got it, not a lump. I'm a great big clump of talent! Laugh, they'll bend in half. Did you ever hear the story about the travelling salesman? A thousand jokes, stick around for the jokes. A thousand faces. I reiterate. When you're gifted, then you're gifted. These are facts, I've got no axe to grind! Ay! What are ya, blind? In all of the world so far, I'm the greatest star! No autographs, please. Huh? What? What did she say? You think beautiful girls are gonna stay in style forever? I should say not! Any minute now, they're gonna be out! Finished! Then it'll be my turn!
- "No law against waiting," I said, "people do it all the time." For once, I didn't say too much, I didn't say too little, I said just what I said and then walked.
- [singing] Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter.
- [singing] Don't tell me not to fly, I simply gotta
If someone takes a spill It's me and not you
Don't bring a cloud to rain on my parade.
- Don't Rain on My Parade
- Nick: I'd be happy to wait while you change.
- Fanny: I'd have to change too much, nobody could wait that long.
- Fanny: Where I come from, when two people... well, sort of love each other... oh, never mind.
- Nick: Well? What do they do when they "sort of love each other"?
- Fanny: Well, one of them says, "Why don't we get married?"
- Nick: Really?
- Fanny: Yeah, and sometimes it's even the man.
- Fanny: You could get lonesome being that free.
- Nick: You could get lonesome being that busy.
- Fanny: Now who'd think to look at us that we got the same problem!
- Fanny: He's a gentleman. A gentleman fits in anyplace.
- Rose: A sponge fits in any place.
- Rose: When you look at him, you only see what you want to see.
- Fanny: I see him as he is. I love him as he is!
- Rose: Fanny. Love him a little less. Help him a little more.
- Fanny: Flo! Flo, quit yelling or your ulcer will flare up.
- Florenz: That's funny coming from you, you gave me that ulcer!
- [Nick has just ordered "filet de boeuf, sauce bordelaise" in French]
- Fanny: I would have ordered roast beef and potatoes.
- Nick: I did.
- Fanny: If I can't tell when you're ordering roast beef and potatoes, how will I know when you're making advances?
- Nick: You'll know. I'll be much more direct.