Family Ties (1982–1989) was an American television sitcom which aired on NBC. At the height of its popularity, the program was #2 in the yearly Nielsen ratings for two straight seasons (1985–86 and 1986–87).
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- Steven: [about Alex] I haven't seen him this excited since Reagan got elected.
- Steven: [to Elyse] Do you think maybe he was switched at birth and the Rockefellers have our kid?
- Elyse: Alex, maybe you're getting a little carried away here. I mean, if Kimberly doesn't like you or your family for who they are, then maybe she isn't worth caring about at all, don't you think?
- Alex: Are you going to wear your hair like that, or are you going to put it up?
- Mallory: [witnessing her parents kissing in the kitchen] You guys have been married for a long time. Haven't you had enough?
- Alex: How do I look?
- Steven: Middle-aged.
- Alex: Dad, recent studies show, that you can predict success by the way a person dresses.
- Steven: Alex, you're a young man. You shouldn't be worried about success. You should be thinking about hopping on a steam trainer, and going around the world, or putting a pack on your back and heading down to Mexico, South America, or anywhere.
- Alex: The 1960's are over Dad.
- Steven: Thanks for the tip.
Not With My Sister You Don't [1.02]Edit
I Know Jennifer's Boyfriend [1.03]Edit
Summer of '82 [1.04]Edit
I Never Killed for My Father [1.05]Edit
Give Uncle Arthur a Kiss [1.06]Edit
Big Brother is Watching [1.07]Edit
No Nukes Is Good Nukes [1.08]Edit
Death of a Grocer [1.09]Edit
- Jennifer: What's impetuous?
- Steven: Well, uh. That's when you do something without thinking it through.
- Jennifer: Like when you guys decided to have Alex?
- Alex: Skippy, remember when we were little kids, and I accidentally ran over you with my bicycle?
- Skippy: Yeah.
- Alex: I drive a car now.
Have Gun, Will Unravel [1.10]Edit
A Christmas Story [1.11]Edit
Sherry Baby [1.13]Edit
- Mallory: What do you say, Alex? She really thinks you're cute.
- Alex: Look, Mallory. I don't go out with girls who have an IQ lower than room temperature, or have contagious diseases, or friends of yours. And there's certainly some overlap in those categories.
- Alex: [turning on the radio] Oh I hope you don't mind, it's time for the commerce and shipping news.
- Mallory: Alex we do mind we're doing a project for school here.
- Alex: All right, all right I'll listen to it upstairs, it's a lot more exciting in stereo anyway.
- Elyse: What happened?
- Alex: Oh he was going out for a pass and he ran into the pole.
- Jennifer: I told you to run down and in Skippy, you were supposed to go to the pole and stop!
- Skippy: I did, I stopped when I hit the pole.
- Elyse: Who is Sherry Marshall?
- Mallory: She happens to be a Pi Nu the best sorority in the whole world, she's the president.
- Steven: Is she coming alone or with some secret service agents?
The Fugitive: Part 1 [1.14]Edit
- Elyse: Mr. Carlyle, Do you really believe that my brother stole that money? I mean, he's not the type.
- Carlyle: I'll mention that to the guys in New York. But to be honest with you: I think they're going to want to push ahead with the case anyway.
- Carlyle: [on what would happen if it turned out that the Keatons were lying to him about where Ned is] Well, hypothetically speaking, you would be hypothetically arrested for harboring a known criminal, and hypothetically sent to a very real jail.
The Fugitive: Part 2 [1.15]Edit
Margin of Error [1.16]Edit
- Alex: It's like taking candy from a baby.
- Jennifer: Brings back memories.
- Steven: No movies, no dates....
- Alex: Sounds fair.
- Steven: ... and no TV.
- Alex: Not even Wall Street Week?
- Steven: Especially not Wall Street Week.
- Alex: Come on Dad. I did not kill a guy!
- Steven: Alex I am out $2,700. I am the major investor in an underwater video company in the Philippines. They probably have a picture of me in one of their huts with the caption, Our Founder. You are lucky to be getting off this easy.
- Alex: Oh listen, just in case, I mean if this stock does go up, we are in this 50/50 right?
- Mrs. Matthews: This is not very good news is it?
- Mr. Matthews: No it is not.
- Mrs. Matthews: We invested everything we had with you. Our, our life savings.
- Mr. Matthews: We knew there would be risks going in. We discussed that.
- Mrs. Matthews: But we are retired people there is no way that we can re-earn what we have lost. We will lose our house, our car.... Is not there anything you can do?
- Mr. Matthews: Sorry. Say Hi to Dad.
- Mallory: So Alex what are you going to do? Sell your soul to the devil or your body to someone who is nearsighted?
- Alex: Jennifer…
- Jennifer: Sometimes when you keep a secret all to yourself you get a really bad headache.
French Lessons [1.17]Edit
- Alex: Dad, I'm 138 and 0 against you [in chess].
- Steven: 138, 0 and 1. You forgot about the draw.
- Alex: I had my appendix out that day.
- Steven: The anesthesia had worn off.
I Gotta Be Ming [1.18]Edit
- Alex: I want you.
- Ming: You don't want me, Alex. You want another you. You want someone who looks like you, acts like you, thinks like you.
- Alex: Is that how I acted?
- Ming: Look, I can't be Alex; I gotta be Ming.
Suzanne Takes You Down [1.19]Edit
The Fifth Wheel [1.20]Edit
Stage Fright (a.k.a.) Video Jitters [1.21]Edit
- Steven: Hey, Alex. How's it going?
- Alex: Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
- That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
- And then is heard no more: it is a tale
- Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
- Signifying nothing.
- Steven: He seems a bit depressed.
Elyse D'Arc [1.22]Edit
Philadelphia Story [3.16]Edit
- Alex: Great events make great men.
The Disciple [4.13]Edit
- Alex: You know that I can only do things one way. Out of control.
My Mother, My Friend [5.12]Edit
[During a game of Scrabble, Alex counterbalances Steven's nonsensical word with one of his own]
- Alex: After I "zoquo", I like to "ushnuu"
A My Name is Alex [5.23-24]Edit
- Alex: ...Yeah, I believe in God.
- Psychiatrist: You surprise me, Alex. A bottom-line guy like yourself. I didn't think you would believe.
- Alex: Well, part of me is a little nervous about it. I like to know what I know: see it, be able to prove it on a test— to know it, to learn it, and be done…And I just got a feeling that you keep getting tested on this one.
Designing Woman [7.2]Edit
- Mallory: Everyone, I want you to meet Jamie Carter.
- Alex [Jumping into his father's lap on the couch]: AAAUGH!
- Steven: Alex, she said Jamie, not Jimmy.
- Michael J. Fox - Alex P. Keaton
- Michael Gross - Steven Keaton
- Meredith Baxter-Birney - Elyse Keaton
- Justine Bateman - Mallory Keaton
- Tina Yothers - Jennifer Keaton
- Brian Bonsall - Andrew 'Andy' Keaton (Seasons 5-7)
- Marc Price - Irwin 'Skippy' Handleman
- Scott Valentine - Nick Moore (Seasons 4-7)
- Tracy Pollan - Ellen Reed (Season 4)
- Courteney Cox - Lauren Miller (Seasons 6-7)
- Dick Sargent - Charlie Donnelly (Season 1)
- Judith Light - Stacey Hughes (Season 2)
- Tom Hanks - Ned Donnelly (Seasons 1-2)
- Geena Davis - Karen Nicholson (Season 4)
- River Phoenix - Eugene Forbes (Season 4)
- Julia Louis-Dreyfus - Susan 'Raindrop' White (Season 6)
- Crispin Glover - Doug (Season 2)
- Wil Wheaton - Timothy Higgins (Season 5)
- Corey Feldman - Student Walter (Season 4)
- Jeff Cohen - Dougie Barker (Season 3)/Marv Jr. (Season 5)
- Christina Applegate - Kitten (Season 5)
- Stephen Baldwin - Bobby (Season 7)
- Daniel Baldwin - Holworthy (Season 7)
- Joseph Gordon-Levitt - Dougie (Season 6)
- Jane Adams - Marty Broadie (Season 7)
- James Cromwell - John Hancock (Season 3)
- John Randolph - Jacob Keaton (Season 1)
- Timothy Busfield - Doug (Season 3)/Young Matt (Season 5)
- Hank Azaria - Joe (Season 7)
- David Faustino - Keith Bailey (Season 2)
- Danny Nucci - Rick (Season 4)